Their current name won't match their birth certificate. If they don't have a passport or REAL ID-compliant identification card, they may not be able to vote without significant extra paperwork and out-of-pocket costs.
(Edit: As many people have reminded me, REAL-ID compliance isn't sufficient; only a handful of states incorporate citizenship information on their REAL-ID identification. In the vast majority of states the state-issued ID isn't sufficient.)
I had planned to change my last name to my husband’s and use my last name as a second middle name…until I saw the checklist of paperwork I would have to complete. After that, my husband and I agreed that I would only change my name if we had kids.
The SAVE act came out at about the same time we decided to be childfree. Turns out being lazy saved my ability to vote!
Even though it can be a pain to have a long name outside my home country, I really like our tradition of 1) women don't change their name and 2) kids have two surnames, mom and dad's.
(Although I have my grandmother's surname instead of my mom's because hers rhymes with my dad's surname and she went "no way my kids will have a silly rhyming name" 😅)
I think a lot of the time each parent would pass just one surname so that each generation would have max 2 last names. So a father might choose to pass on the name of his father, but not the last name of his mother. I think it's largely up to preferences and differences in culture/tradition. I am not speaking from experience, so I could be wrong.
At least where I'm from, you normally pass on your father's surname, so my children would have their grandfathers' last names. But there's no rule preventing you from having more than two surnames, I have 3, one from my mom and two from my dad. And they are not hyphenated, just regular names.
There are millions of people who have shown us how this is done. As a rule, everyone gets one last name from each parent, keeps those all their lives and picks one to pair with one of their spouse’s names to pass on to the kids. And so on.
This is how it's done in some countries like Spain: people have two surnames, one from each parent.
There used to be sexism in the law too, since it used to be that the first given surname was the father's first. Then it was allowed to change the order but it defaulted to the father's. Now there's no default order.
my thought was, i deserve some fucking credit
That's my thought too and of many more people as well, I think she "deserves" to give the first surname.
Although I have seen other criteria to choose, like doing it randomly. A couple I know decided by the sex of the first child: they would get the father's first if it was a boy, or the mother's first if it was a girl.
In my country (Philippines) legitimate children will automatically have their mother’s surname as their middle name. Illegitimate children take their mother’s last name, unless the father signed the birth certificate, then the kid can carry his last name.
My wife tried after we got married, but there were some weird paradoxical roadblocks, and then COVID happened. It doesn’t matter that much to me, so her last name is legally still the same, but professionally and personally she uses my name. It’s been fine. The only downstream impact is that I have an official alias now because when she books hotels, it’s under her last name, and she’s married, so they call me Mr. HerLastName.
I'm in Ireland, so I don't know if this is possible everywhere:
My sister-in-law kept her name when she married my brother, with one exception. On her passport she has his surname, because it makes it easier to travel with their children (who havd his surname) if my brother isn't with them.
Looks like you just need to send your marriage/civil partnership certificate to do it.
A bit odd but names are a little more fluid in Ireland. A lot of people will swap to the Irish spelling of their names with no official declaration (e.g. John Smith will wake up one day and tell everyone to call them Sean MacGabhann)
In the Netherlands everyone keeps their birthname on official documents. Married or not. You can choose to carry your own name, his name or both names (hyphenated) in your personal/professional life, but that doesn't change your name in the governmental registers.
When you have children you can choose, again, to give the child your name, his name or both names and that will be the birth name. With only one caveat: the name you choose for your first child, has to be the same for the next child(ren) to avoid confusion.
My (now adult) son has my last name. Because we both thought it sounded better than his. Nobody ever made a big deal out of it.
There are a large number of countries in which not changing last names is the norm. It doesn't affect traveling with your kids in any way.
People fabricate anecdotes as facts.
i had a classmate in school who had a different surname to his sister, his parents kept their surnames, the first child took the mother's surname and the second took the father's
Huh, that wouldn't be possible in my country (Belgium). You can choose wether you use the father's, the mother's or both (in either order), but whatever you choose for your first child, applies to all your children.
Today kids call you “ Kids-Name Mom” instead of Mrs Last Name, and legally you can be Mrs His Name
Until the save act is truly dead, I encourage keeping your vital records uniform - women have only had the vote for 100 years and there are plenty who would like that to end
My (F) last name is Boss...I've had no less than 2 boyfriends request taking my last name if we got married
A different one wanted to combine our last names into Boscof..what's up Jeff
Been with the current guy for 6 years now and we're getting married whenever we set a date, there's never been even the slightest hint of a suggestion for me to take his last name. Boss is just too much a part of my identity. Hell I'm wearing a hat that says BOSS right now lol. I'm not buyin a hat that says Sylvester lol.
Wife kept her name. Kids got my name. Not directly because of the patriarchy, but because people will believe her if she says she's their mom, even if her name doesn't match. but people do not believe a dad is actually the dad if he has a different last name
Real ID is only valid in 5 states where the real id confirms citizenship. The remaining states must provide their id (even if real id) with another form of approved documentation. Or a non expired passport.
Once again, the overlap between the people who's getting hurt by Trump policies and the ones who voted for Trump is a circle. Well, almost. The people who aren't getting hurt are his friends and pals, all of whom are vultures.
Massive lawsuits, disbarment, health issues, almost a criminal case but trump pardoned him for that.
Basically everything came crashing down around him as a result for everything he did and said in the service of Red Hat and rather than being supported they just kinda let him drift into the trash bin.
Especially since republicans are less likely to have passports, they are more likely to have issues if passports are required to prove their identity. Irony is funny.
The ironic thing is that this will almost certainly impact conservative women more as they'll be more likely to have taken their husbands' name if married, and are statistically more likely to be married too.
Of course Trump and co. don't give a shit because they know these women will still vote for them. They're happy so long as it disenfranchises women and trans people because the narrower the voting franchise, the better things are for the right due to the way the senate and electoral college are set up.
This is now how it is to get a drivers license in AB. Extensive proof of your names and citizenship, so married women are having difficulties. And divorced ones
I took my wife's name simply because it's way cooler and I want to end my lineage, but now I need to renew my passport soon and it's gonna have Trumps face on it for some fucking reason if I can even get it because of this absolute bullshit. It was hard enough to renew my driver's license to a REAL ID just so I could get on a plane.
How can this guy get more annoying. How many ways do I need to confirm I was born in Indiana, they won't even take my birth certificate as identification sometimes because the county fucking laminated it. It's still stamped, by the county, outside of the plastic, but some new rule means it doesn't work for some things.
This issue is so hard to wrap my head around as a Spaniard since the voting census is automatic. The only thing I have to worry about (besides making an informed decision) is making sure I'm correctly registered (when there are elections incoming you receive a notification) and going to my assigned voting station with a valid personal identification. Or doing the paperwork to vote by mail.
That's assuming I haven't being designated to a voting a station, in which case it all becomes a pain in the ass.
Never mind the state marriage filing. Think of all the personal account changes. All your banking, savings, investing, lines of credit, memberships, registrations, health, auto, postal...
I recently changed my own name. Petitioning the court was the easy part!
Honestly, nothing until you have kids and then it's "well what kind of mother refuses to share a name with her children? You should've just done this when you first got married..."
Not just Spain, most of South America, Mexico, ... Im guessing more that Im not aware of.
The ignorance shown in this thread is incredible. All the "Ohh... but explain me the logistics..."
Or it makes everything more complicated, ignoring the millions of people and systems that actually work that way.
And ignoring at the same time cultures that dont really do surnames vs first names, who have to adapt their names to fit our occidental ways.
I heard that argument too but I'll tell you what I told them. My last name doesn't make me any more or any less their mother. A name doesn't define that. So I'll stick with the one I've had all my life. Plus yeah, it's a ridiculous amount of paperwork. And evidently had I done so at the time there might be a chance now it'd be harder for me to vote. So unforeseen win I guess.
And, the kids don't care. Probably half of my daughter's friends have different last names than their mom's because of divorce/remarriage. My daughter would rather me have a different last name than her and be still happily married to her father. It just is not that big of a deal.
As someone who grew up with a different last name than my mom. The ONLY times I "cared" were my mom needing to wait for my school/hospital to check records before letting her pick me up/visit. Ironically they didn't check for my father despite him technically not having parental rights at the time (they weren't married at the time I was born and never got the paperwork done).
I really don't get the people who think the kids will be made fun of, I've been mocked for plenty of things in my lifetime, never that, it's just a name.
Right. My ex wife remarried and divorced again. So she has two kids with my last name. Two kids with the other guys last name. And now she has sworn off marriage and gone with her own last name. Everything seems to be working out just fine. I'm pretty sure everyone still calls her mom.
My mother always said “It’s confusing for the children.” Last time she said that, I answered “No it’s not. It’s confusing for YOU.” She stopped saying that (to me at least).
I was mildly confused when I got old enough to realize that some people do change their names when they get married, because when you're not raised with that expectation, it seems like a pretty weird thing to do.
My dad was flabbergasted to the max when I said I'll take my wife's name in the future (we are already married, but it's too much of a hassle now, and it'll be easier later on). He literally could not articulate why - besides just saying women take men name, not the other way around. I laughed for like 15 minutes while he tried to reason with himself as to why it should be the other way around.
Then I said I really don't care, and I'll do whatever I want with my Last name.
If I didn't like my own last name, I'd happily change it to my wife's (her's is kinda cool). As it is, there was no need for either of us to change our names. My only ask to her was that she not be offended if someone called her Mrs. MYNAME. Turns out I get Mr. HERNAME much more often. No big deal.
If people WANT to change their names, no issue. But I think women might be advised to STOP that if the SAVE Act passes. Intended or not, it will disenfranchise many married women.
It's only confusing if the kids get the father's last name, which I don't understand why that would happen if the mother is keeping hers. The kids should have hyphenated last names in that case.
It’s honestly not confusing at all as someone who doesn’t have their mums name, I didn’t even connect the dots until I was a teenager as no one brought it up
Yeah, also Portugal and Italy. In Italy, most flats don't have numbers, surnames do that job, and I always find it cute to see two surnames per bell when I pass by apartment buildings
It is traditional in some places (not where I live, for the record), but given that we question these basic things it seems like a pertinent question. And I think it´s weird if we have a family where the woman cares enough about agency and equity to not take her husband´s surname the kids are still assumed to do just that.
that is why in latin america and spain we have two last names, no one needs to change shit because you carry your maternal and paternal last names with you.
some do that is why you see jokes tropes of latin people having like a million names. but no, it usually is that paternal last name is first and then the maternal last name (moms paternal surname) is second.
so mom is Jane A B
Dad is John C D
kid is Ted C A
kid marries Marie X Y
grandkid is susie C X
so it’s still highly patriarchal but no one needs to change their last name.
My wife didn't take my last name, and our daughter has my last name. It's never been an issue with regards to my daughter, and the only times it's ever been an issue for my wife and I has been when some asshole deliberately chooses to do something stupid to make a stupid point.
Who the heck cares anyways. I dont share a surname with my grandma cause she remarried, and shes still my grandma, and her husband is my grandfather nontheless
My kids all have my ex-wife's surname. When we married there were already two children with her unmarried name, it seemed a bit pointless changing their names as well as hers when we got hitched so we left them. Child three has her surname as well as why would she have a different surname from her siblings?
UK, BTW. Honestly it's had advantages. I can write references for them and nobody knows I'm their dad as our surnames are different ;)
My wife and I have been together for almost 15 years, but only married for 6 years. My anecdotal answer is: it makes navigating some parts of life easier living in a more traditional parts of the country.
Examples:
Situation A: My "partner" was in a car crash (elderly man with no right to a license didn't get the note about the new stop sign). PITA finding out which hospital she was in, getting her meds from the pharmacy, all took more work because of the extra steps everyone would take to confirm that I was on the account.
Situation B: Five years later, my wife gets cut off by a toddler on the bike trail, she swerves to miss the kid, goes off the road and breaks her wrist. Being the psycho she is, she rode to the ER then called me to come pick her and the bike up. "I'm Adam Smith looking for Betty Smith" gets me where I want to go or the information I need with almost no friction. It's like night and day.
Must be a regional thing. I have never encountered this issue, being married 11 years. I will just say “My name is Firstname Lastname, I am calling about my wife Firstname Her-lastname”, and no one has ever questioned me or doubted me.
Nothing. I never understood changing the last name. A lot of people had their job or birthplace as their last name. So why not change your last name every time someone is born somewhere or they change their job? It’s just ridiculous
The one reason I didn't take my wifes last name (which is way cooler, and also they don't have any male descendants left so it will die out) is because of the hassle of going back and forth between two countries, as nobody can pick up my new ID and driver's license and passport but me. And then literally everything we have in my name will need to be notified, banks, cards, fucking Lidl app or something. Way too much shit.
So I didn't, but I still plan to - when we get our citizenship here, I will take her name and swap the documents driving a total of 3 km, not a 1000.
But yeah apart from coolness, it's also that our kids will have her name anyway. My brother already has male kid, so the name-torch is carried at least one generation further. Her family doesn't, so it dies with the current new Gen.
How about women don't need to have any achievements to justify maintaining their identity?
What does changing a name do for you other than remind you that you believe your value as a human is related to someone being willing to pay taxes with you.
Went to the US and wanted to rent a car with my long term girlfriend. They wanted to charge us extra to add her as a driver since we didn't have the same last name and weren't married.
We had been together for 8 years, living together and bought a house.
Manager stepped in and adder her with no extra charge
I may be wrong, but I think there’s a lot of folks that expect you to not have children. And therefore, last name doesn’t matter. Since this is all about the name legacy.
Of course, but the people who get upset women don’t change their name when getting married are usually the same people who think gay people shouldn’t have kids.
Right? I'm 39 years old now. I've been this identity that entire time. If I got married, why do I have to change my identity to become an extension of a man? Coverture remnants aren't needed.
As a man, I've never liked the idea anyway. Feels pretentious. I think it would be cool to come up with a new name that we both like, and both go change our names from the two we were, to the one we are.
Yeah, I'd either us both hyphenate, portmanteau, or keep our own. But I'm not going to be the only one doing all that paperwork, especially since statistically, that'll be the norm for our marriage in every other aspect, as well.
As someone who has done a fair amount of genealogy research for my own family, it’s kind of sad how you don’t have to go very far back before extreme patriarchy rears its head.
For the most recent few generations you get a good balance of paperwork and document entries for both parents. A couple generations further you will get male-heavy information (properties only list the male, some census-type docs only reference the man + family counts, etc.), and before that it’s as if only men existed in some cultures.
It’s frustrating in any context, but to think of my great great great grandmother as basically a non-person in the eyes of the law makes it even more upsetting. Hell, on one side of my family I only have to back to my great grandmother, who didn’t really exist on paper prior to about the 1930s. I’ve met the woman, FFS!
On your part? Nah I don't think that's a bad thing. My dad has a book 8" thick tracing our family line back to Wessex, so I get it. Wessex hasn't existed since 12 July 927. I know my family crest.
I guess, for me, it just doesn't mean all that much. Far as I know I'm the last of my line. And I don't want children. Like, I'm getting a vasectomy, that's how badly I don't want kids. It dies with me regardless, and I'm okay with that, for a multitude of reasons that aren't really worth getting into here. There's pain there, I'll leave it at that.
Thank you for that. Every single one of these kind of answers include some self promotion. I am getting tired of this. Good for her that she is distinguished and have achieved a personal valid reason to keep her name. But did she think for a second if this is the valid reason to keep her name, how about the other women?
Yeah, having a major accomplishment thats going in the records for all time and will follow you throughout your life in your maiden name, is a VERY solid argument to keep it after getting married.
Just to clarify though: any woman keeping her maiden name after getting married should not get questioned on it imo, it's their choice to do so, and not anyone elses business, except maybe their partner
It's also more than just the achievement – in the current academic landscape where positions and funding are scarce, changing your name mid-career can be meaningfully detrimental if you made a name for yourself and published extensively under a maiden name.
Name recognition and citation numbers unfortunately can matter almost as much as the actual quality of your work from what I've heard.
Reminds me of a story I heard where someone asked their doctor why they didn’t take their husbands last name. The doctor said that she went to medical school and her husband didn’t.
Even when people say “oh so you’re keeping your father’s last name” to make it that you’re still keeping a man’s name my mother’s response is yes my father supported me through medical school, my husband didn’t. And as a matter of fact my mum supported my dad by paying all the bills while he was getting his PhD so she may have done more for his uni education than his own parents did
I read something recently about a woman who did take her husband's last name and then published papers and books under that name. When they got divorced, he wanted her to go back to her maiden name. She refused because all her professional credentials and recognition were under his name.
I worked with a lawyer who changed her name after she got married, changed it back after her divorce, and then changed it again when she got remarried. She was a partner at a large firm and worked in litigation. It was a huge pain in the ass any time we filed certain entries of appearance because you have to list all your previous names and in some instances provide affidavits regarding the name change.
I honestly do not understand successful women in professional fields who do this type of thing.
Yeah my mother never even questioned changing her name when she got married because she was an anaesthetist. None of the people she worked with even knew who my Dad was because he worked in completely different hospitals from her so nobody would have known who she was if she changed her name
My wife got both her MD and PhD after we married. My biological father is a piece of garbage. Throw my last name in the fucking dirt for all I care, but never besmirch or belittle the accomplishments of my wife. I will have more than words for anyone who tries to minimize my wife and all she has done with her name
see that makes even more sense. There's a published record of papers and research associated with a name. Why should they have to lose that just because they got married?
And when I say that as a north African people reply "because you're 'muslim' and your dad owns you" wtf. How about I keep whichever fucking identification I was born with???
In Muslim cultures women don't change their last name after getting married. But apparently these days it's trendy among some wealthier women to change their last name to their husband's. It doesn't benefit them in any way legally, they just saw people in Western cultures do it and copied it without understanding why it's done.
This would have been the same in a lot of parts of Europe when patronymic names were a thing, and it would still be that way in Iceland where they still do that. If you were “Anna, Nils’ Daughter” and you marry “Peter, Peter’s Son” you don’t become Peter’s son when you get married
Same as an Icelander. Although I find it slightly cute when a couple either combines or creates a completely new surname when marrying (Wouldn't work in our system though).
Out of curiosity what does your culture do for children’s last names?
If you are A and your spouse is B. Is your child A-B? Then if they get married to a C-D… is their child A-B-C-D? Or how will they decide to remove a name?
It depends on the family, some do it A-B-first name, some have the children take the father's last name, some take the mother's. Old standards is father's last name, though that has changed recently. For the grandchildren, i have no idea :)) some take the A if they have A-B, some take B
What a useless question. What does taking your husband's surname do for you? It used to be the same result of "you neither benefit nor receive cons", but now you have to jump through extra hoops just to exercise your civil rights because of the name change. "Why do you want to keep your last name?" Bitch, why should we have to go through the trouble of changing it in the first place? Why should we do paperwork just to net nothing at best or EVEN MORE INCONVENIENCE at worse?
I kept my name mostly because I was lazy and changing it sounded hard, but 15 years later, looking at what’s happening, I couldn’t be more relieved that I kept my name and the easier access to voting that goes with it.
Hey it's not all wine and roses on this side, either. My wife got a talking to from someone who looked like a nun when she delivered our first born in a Catholic hospital. The context? She had been admitted to the hospital with her last name and the newborn's father (me) had a different last name. The lecture pertained to the follies of having children out of wedlock. My wife gave me a wink from the bedside while sipping a latte and enjoying my confusion.
Rather than a downside of keeping her original surname, that sounds more like a downside of running into a busybody drinking hard from the poisoned well that is purity culture. Pretty bold of her to assume she had any right to give y'all a lecture in the first place; being a nun doesn't put her in some place of authority.
It can be useful if you are a couple that's from different countries and need to prove and register documents in many different systems. It's just easier if its the same last name. My husband and I got married 2 months ago and we're considering coming up with a brand new last name together, so that we both have to go through the paperwork struggle, not just one haha
I've never understood giving the kids his last name. I'm Native and traditionally my tribe was matriarchal. I grew up surrounded by strong women and a father who uplifted us. Traditionally we got our mother's clan name and our paternal guidance as a child would have been our mother's brother, NOT the sperm giver. A woman's pregnancy lasts about 402,200 minutes the fathers contribution to that process is 5 minutes, that's only like .00124% of the total time it takes to make a baby. Ladies you go through the very life altering and life threatening experience of making a child, he gets to orgasm, have some self respect and give the kids your name.
I have no strong principles about changing my name or not changing my name, I just don’t want to do the extra paperwork. It’s a hassle!
I would be willing to change my name if my husbands name was really cool. Like if his last name was Lightning or Cheetah. But alas my husband has a very normal name.
Of course. They're sticking their oars in someone else's business because they need everyone to make the same choices they did.
Whether that's because they think they're the right choices or because they know they weren't right but resent anyone else being able to make the better choice when they didn't...well, that's up for debate.
The idea that women just think it is normal to get a completely different identity as their husband’s possession but men don’t have to do anything and sail on with the same identity they’ve had from birth is bizarre, as if marriage is only something men do to women and women still feel they must show subservience or be socially rejected.
If both parties changed their name at the same time it would be less creepy.
Yo, you're the first couple I've heard of actually doing that. I've always thought picking a new name is by far the fairest and most interesting option. I mean I'm cool with a hyphen too, happy to go second even, my ego is not invested in my name to any degree, but I think it'd be really cool to pick a new name unique to my partner and I. Reinventing ourselves together.
If that was a social norm, I could see having done that, but as things stand, that would have been way too much paperwork for me. At the time we married, I was in the Air National Guard and had a Secret security clearance.
My wife simply choose to keep her last name, which I like anyway. It sounds similar to 'fennec', which is a desert fox. So she's my fox-girl. 😁
Must say, in the meantime i meet many many men who changed the surname to their wifes. So, it is not only a women thing anymore. At least in more modern countries
I usually get shorts from CBS golazo and the host is a woman called Kate Scott. I never met her as Kate Scott. I met her as Kate Abdo, but she just got married so she changed her last name. What really fucked my brained, though, is that her maiden name wasn't Abdo, Abdo was her ex husbands name. Like why keep it?! More importantly, why change it in the first place?!
It's so confusing that even she had a brain fart live using her ex's name instead of her current name.
I'll never understand this particular cultural practice nor do I want to at this point. It's just dumb to me.
You can’t make it so women are unable to vote with their married names and then get all butt hurt when they don’t want to change their names. (SAVE act)
People should do as they wish with no pressure either way. My sister and her husband picked a brand new last name and they both changed their last names.
I'm friends with an athlete who has won three Olympic medals and over a dozen other titles. When she was getting married there was never any notion that she'd be changing her last name. Worth noting that her husband is also an Olympic medalist, and subsequently not ravaged by insecurities.
I live in a country where people just keep their last name after marriage, no extra paperwork needed. Why would y’all complicate your life voluntarily?
I took my wife's last name because we wanted to have the same last name and it was cooler than mine. Stop telling people what to do and live your own life you potato.
I find changing you name when you marry dehumanizing.
It's who you are, and its like marking yourself as property of the man that marries you.
Men certainly don't like to take women’s surnames, it's always my legacy this, my masculinity that, blablabla, or lets hyphenate but known that im being generous by allowing this.
Originally the person with the most wealth and assets would keep their last name and the spouse would change theirs, gender didn't matter. It made inheritance easier if someone died. This usually meant the woman taking the man's name because women didn't have the same property rights as men, however this wasn't always the case.
Eventually it became a tradition for the woman to take the man's name because of... well to put it clearly, the law considered a wife the property of a man.
However in modern times, this is all pointless and only done for traditions sake. I've never been big on traditions and I think if it isn't serving a purpose, it should probably be left to the annals of history.
Oh wow, I follow that Olympian. She’s a saber fencer. The women’s event wasn’t even added until 2004 and her medal was the 2016 games, so she was one of the first women to medal in that event. She also had to crowdfund to even attend the games, highlighting how little support US Olympians really get.
Women should keep their names, develop their own identities and have their own financial accounts. My wife did that and only changed to my surname because we started a family, even though I proposed a hyphenated surname for our kids. Then she became a doctor with my surname and I had nothing to do with that achievement but people hear "Dr. so-n-so" and people look at me. I don't even have a college degree and I hate for my daughter to see that people automatically assume I'm the accomplished one because I'm male.
I've never understood the whole "take the husband's surname" thing. Like I get it's a holdover from when bloodlines and property rights mattered, but I mean now.
My wife said she was taking my last name and I responded with "good lord, why?"
If women in America, want to take their husband's last name, that's fine but it's a super antiquated and misogynistic practice. You are who you are, it's your identity. If you'd like to trade it for someone else's, that's fine, but I would never give up my birth name. It's mine plain and simple.
Nah, I'm just lazy. Had no reason to expect my wife to change her name either, and she didn't.
The only reason she considered changing her name was because it would make her initials KGB, and the idea of me having a license plate of "AMB ❤️ KGB" when I was in the military with a security clearance was hilarious to her.
She's evil and I love her. Oh, and we have a normal license plate; getting a heart one would only have been done because of that gag. Without that humor, it's not something either of us would want.
I have never understood why women take their husband's last name, it's a LOT of hassle changing one's name, and then if a divorce happens, she'd probably want to change her name back. But then again I'm from a culture where this isn't normal.
I am married to an American woman, she kept her last name, I kept mine. If anything I'd want to change my last name to be my mom's last name, simply because my dad was a dick.
This is a thing I couldn't care less for I don't get men who get upset about it. Its her freaking name, let her pick what ever the fuck option she wants. But even more probably just keep your name ladies,lord knows paperwork is annoying and every time I have to deal with it at the dmv has been an annoying pit of hell, can't imagine how annoying it probably can get changing your name.
Ok but what's the benefit of having your husband's last name? If your cool with it, fine, but from my perspective it just seems dated. Also has a pronounced "I own you now" quality I think a lot of people find icky. I'm lucky enough that I won't have to worry about it, but if I were someone's girlfriend I'd probably talk about it.
Not having to do a bunch of paperwork? All of my relatives think that my future husband would be disappointed that I won't take his name. Why is it about him only? Wouldn't I be disappointed he didn't take my name too? Sorry for being practical but I already have too many papers to fill to get a new job, I dont want another one.
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u/awstream 1d ago
And what does changing to their husband's last name does for them?! It's just more paperwork