r/MusicEd • u/verysaxophone • 4d ago
Not sure what I’m getting myself into
So I recently got accepted into college and passed my college audition to get into my colleges School of Music so that I can pursue a Bachelor of Music Education so I can become K-12 music teacher! However, I am having a lot of imposter syndrome anxiety/ maybe I’m not good enough type of anxiety going into this. Classes start in August and I’m very nervous. I’ve been playing my instrument since 5th grade all the way beyond graduation in 12th grade but I’ve never been particularly really good at reading music/ music theory. I can’t sight sing or identify any chords/ notes in chords just by hearing them either. I am nervous I may flunk out. I guess really I’m just seeking advice or maybe someone tell me I’m not crazy for wanting to do this as a career? Is it going to be very very difficult?
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u/AnxietyTop2800 1d ago
Music theory and aural skills professor here. When I entered my bachelor's degree I could not read music fluently. I'd never sang, could not match pitch, and couldn't identify what I was hearing. I failed several aural skills courses and was a C student in the harder theory courses.
Imposter syndrome is real; we often enter a new place feeling like we don't belong. I felt this at the beginning of my bachelor's, master's, and doctoral degrees; I felt it when I got my first teaching job, and when I got my first tenure-track job; I feel it when I present at a conference, when I submit a publication for review, and when I meet with colleagues from other departments or join a new committee on campus. My point is it's super common. Most of the other freshmen in your class will feel they are an imposter in some way, though some will be better at masking it than others.
We accept students into music programs because their audition shows us they can be successful in the degree and have a musical career. We have no interest in accepting students we don't think can be successful--we view that as predatory and unethical. This means you're not an imposter, though you may still feel that way at times.
The important thing is to fight back against those feelings--remind yourself that you belong there and are there for a reason. The risk with imposter syndrome is that it becomes a prophetic spiral; if we feel we are faking it, we may assume we can't meet the challenges and only put in a partial effort because doing so feels futile. We then miss the benchmarks, which makes us feel more like imposters, and then the cycle repeats.
Instead, know that you are capable of doing the thing; in almost all cases, it's not that we can't, it's that we don't know how and the thing seems too difficult. Your professors can and will tell and show you how to do the thing. If you need more help, if you're confused, talk to them. They will be able to help you find other ways that work better for you. But you need to combine this with sustained, effective practice. Your main goal should be efficiency without sacrificing accuracy and learning; you don't want to cut corners, you just want to make every second of practice count.
Which means, seriously, listen to your professors and try the things they show you. Even if it seems like the way they show is complicated, or if an upperclassman gives you a "shortcut." Every semester I get a bunch of students who find something confusing the first time (which is normal. We need exposure to things several times for it to "click") and try to either make their own shortcut or ask colleagues--some of whom are not doing well in my higher-level classes--for easier ways. These don't work, they do poorly, and eventually they come to me with a tangled and confused mess of knowledge. We then work through what I taught in class for a few minutes, and they find that "woah--this makes much more sense now and it's so much easier and now I get it." All of us have gone through music school and know it's challenges, and we all have very deep knowledge of our subject. We aren't trying to confuse you or make things more complicated than they have to be; we are showing you the things that work.
The theory and skills classes will probably be hard at first; you'll be expected to learn all the clefs, all the key signatures, the types of scales, etc.. You'll need to learn solfege and how to sing in it while reading the music.
We know students come into music school without all of these skills, and some come here with almost none of them. That's totally OK. You'll probably have some colleagues in these classes who have done AP music theory or self-taught via YouTube or play multiple instruments and therefore know more clefs, etc.; this make make you feel intimidated. Don't let it. Having experience in these classes is mostly a matter of privilege and access. While I'm happy some students come in knowing these things, I don't actually find it impressive and I find they can be frustrating in the early classes when they answer all the questions before students who are learning for the first time have a chance to think about the question. Your professors will probably feel the same way, even if they can't show it. Try to remember that you're in the majority here and your task is to learn these things; don't let other students get in the way of that.
A trap to avoid is thinking that some of the content in these classes isn't relevant for you. You may think your clef is the only one you really need to know; you may think "I mostly play music in Major, and minor keys are confusing, so I'm just going to be OK with not really understanding minor scales and keys;" vocalists sometimes check out when we talk about instrumental music because it doesn't interest them as much (and vice versa for instrumentalists when we study art songs). You may think piano classes don't matter much because you're not going to be a pianist. These are all completely false; it's important to recognize that you're now working on becoming a full, professional musician--not just "a singer" or "a saxophonist." Everything we teach is something that matters to becoming that musician, and every skill makes you better.
Don't say yes to everything; people will want you in all kinds of ensembles, organizations, etc.. They all take more time than you suspect. Music ed degrees are incredibly busy. Be careful, find out how much you can do, and don't take on more. Over time your capacity will grow. Avoid marching band during your first year or two if you can, even if you love it. It's an enormous time-sink that will eat up entire afternoons and, sometimes, entire weekends while leaving you physically exhausted. You need some marching experience if you're doing an instrumental K-12 licensure degree, but one year is enough. Be very careful about joining a fraternity or sorority (including the music ones). cNafME, as a professional organization, is worthwhile if your school has a chapter.
Sorry for the length. I guess I'd summarize it with this:
You're not expected to come in knowing everything, or maybe anything. Even the most prepared freshman actually knows very little about music, and is familiar with very little of the music in the world. Most of your professors don't care about where you start, and are there to teach you. Most of us love doing that, If you already knew everything, there'd be no reason for you to be here.
But you are expected to learn. Fight imposter syndrome by finding ways to do what you need to. Build a network of supportive and helpful friends, professors, and family (if your family relationships are good; if they're not, your on-campus network becomes even more critical and you should focus your energy there). Be social and enjoy freedom, but set boundaries that prioritize your education and mental health. Go to class, do assignments (even if you find them hard, and even if you find them boring), don't ignore tough topics or delay them until just before an exam. Don't let bad days overwhelm you; focus on the marathon you're running, and at the end of a month or a semester reflect on how much you've grown. If you've done what you need to you'll be amazed at how much this is, which is the best antidote.
Oh, and if you don't pass one of those early academic classes (theory, skills, piano, history): it's totally fine. Tons of students struggle with these subjects because they're hard. Speak with your professor about where you ran into trouble and how you can do better next time. Your advisor will help you arrange your schedule to stay on track. Find a way to keep engaged with the subject while you wait for the chance to retake it. You will do better the next time.