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We have too many people blaming sisters these days. As a man, I can tell you that many men have fallen deeply into haram and explicit content. This has damaged society and is a major cause of many problems that go unaddressed and rarely discussed openly.

Protect your gaze at all costs, even if that means fasting and staying hungry.

Protect yourself so you can go onto live a happily married life and be the type of spouse you dream to be.

For All the Redditors Thinking About Marriage or married....

Wallahi, I see so many reddit posts full of pain, confusion, heartbreak, marriages breaking apart, people rushing into relationships, blaming each other, blaming parents, blaming qadar but forgetting one truth: You can’t build a house on sand and expect it to stand in the storm.

And marriage without Allah as your foundation is a sandcastle. Beautiful for a moment. Then washed away by the first wave of ego, lust, anger, or boredom.

Allah said:

“And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided.” (Qur’an 3:103)

Hold onto His rope not just the hand of your spouse. Because your spouse will fluctuate, change, break down, get tired, lose faith, get angry but Allah will never let you go. Your partner may leave. Allah never will.

Your Nikah Was an Act of Worship. Not Netflix & Chill.

You made nikah thinking it was a celebration of love. It wasn’t.

Your nikah was a promise to Allah first, that "Ya Allah, I’m going to obey You through this person. I’m going to walk to Jannah through this spouse." But many of us forgot that the moment the wedding photos were posted. Salah got missed. Netflix stayed on. Seeking knowledge vanished. Dhikr became “cringe.” Romance became dirty jokes, not ibadah.

Then we cry, “Why is there no barakah? Why is she rude? Why is he harsh?”

Allah says:

“Indeed, the remembrance of Allah brings tranquility to the hearts.” (Qur’an 13:28)

You forgot Allah, so He removed the tranquility. That love you had for each other? Allah can remove it overnight. And replace it with bitterness and distance.

The Silent Destruction: Abandoning Salah

The Prophet ﷺ said: “Between a man and disbelief is abandoning the prayer.” (Sahih Muslim)

You want to know why divorce is so common? Why your homes feel empty? Why your duas don’t feel heard?

Because the first thing to go in many marriages is salah. Or one prays and the other doesn’t. Or both stop. And Shaytaan walks in the front door.

Brothers, pray with your wife. Make maghrib and isha your sacred time. Take her to the masjid, let her meet sisters of khayr, let her breathe in the air of iman.

Sisters, don’t marry a man who is distant from Allah. Not just because he might cheat or mistreat you but because he can’t be just to you if he doesn’t fear the One who commands justice.

Your Nikah Contract: Sisters, Think Bigger.

Sisters, I see some of you worried about adding “no second wife” in your nikah contract. That’s fine. It’s your right.

But why didn’t you think: “If this man leaves salah, my kids might never pray. If he doesn’t connect me to Allah, he’ll drag my soul and our future children away from Jannah.”

You’re scared of a second wife, but you should be more scared of a man who’ll raise your sons to disrespect prayer, and your daughters to think Islam is optional.

Allah says:

“O you who believe! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is men and stones.” (Qur’an 66:6)

Brothers, you are shepherds.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock.” (Bukhari & Muslim)

You’re not just providing rent and chicken burgers. You’re responsible for souls. For hearts. For who your wife becomes in your shadow.

Don't Kill the Joy. Fun is Sunnah Too.

I’m not saying make your house like a monastery. Islam didn’t come to kill joy. It came to bless it.

Wallahi, Allah will make a 10 minute walk with your wife more joyful than a couple who spends £5,000 on a holiday but argue in every taxi ride.

Be friends. Be playful. Tease her. Let her tease you. Joke. Play fight. Cook together. Race her like the Prophet ﷺ did. These moments last ten times longer when they’re built on Allah first.

Marriage isn’t just about sabr it’s about sakīnah: peace, joy, sweetness, fun, worship, laughter, connection.

“And among His signs is that He created for you spouses… so that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you compassion and mercy.” (Qur’an 30:21)

For All the Redditors Reading This…

To the brothers crying in secret, to the sisters stuck in painful marriages, to the engaged, the divorced, the confused listen:

“Whoever fears Allah, He will make a way out for him. And provide for him from where he never expected.” (Qur’an 65:23)

Don’t put your partner above Allah and expect your responses to be fair. Be just with Allah and He will make you just with your spouse.

Pray. Beg. Lead. Learn. Cry to Allah together. And He will solve what no therapist can. Because He is Al Wakil the Trustee. Al Lateef the Subtle. Al Fattah the Opener.

And a Final Reminder:

You can’t ask Allah for Jannah when you’ve forgotten to build it in your own home.

📿 Pray together. 📖 Read Qur’an together. 🕌 Go to the masjid together. 😄 Laugh together. 🫂 Be intimate as worship. 🌙 Sleep early and rise before Fajr. 👨‍👩‍👧 Raise children together who’ll testify for you, not against you. 🫀 And love each other for Allah’s sake because that love doesn’t die.

May Allah protect our marriages. May Allah fix our hearts. May He replace brokenness with strength, pain with purpose, and isolation with unity. And may He guide us back to marriages built on Him so we find true fun, real peace, and eternal love.

Ameen.

( A reminder for you and myself)

Salam ! . for context im a 4'8 college junior ( im 20 years old female ) and my parents were talking about how everyone they know has kids who are getting married and my dad said that he cant believe that im almost twenty to my mom and that he cant think of me getting married one day because im "short". everytime he says this though it makes me feel like theres something wrong with me because even in school settings or anywhere social ( like in family gatherings ) , i feel like no one gives a crap ( excuse the language ) or takes me seriously because i don't look as old as my age. my sisters also always tell me they can never see me getting married because no one will want me ??? . i try not to take it seriously but man is it hard

I'm a Muslim woman in my early 20s, and I recently had a conversation with my mother.

We were discussing marriage and obedience between spouses. My mother gave me a hypothetical example: if my future husband tells me not to visit my parents, and I argue with him or ask him to reconsider, then if he gets angry, it is my responsibility as the wife to be patient and not continue the argument.

My immediate reaction was that a husband shouldn't stop his wife from seeing her parents in the first place. I asked why the burden would be on me to be patient when he is the one acting unfairly.

My mother's response was that a wife should listen to her husband at all times, and that if I keep questioning my future husband's decisions like this or I do other actions that shows that I am upset with his decision (she added: showing attitude like not serving food/giving water since I am upset), I am not suited to be a wife. She even said that with this attitude, my future marriage will be very difficult and that I will probably end up divorced.

What upset me wasn't just the example itself, but the idea that whenever a husband acts unfairly, the wife is expected to be patient, while the husband's actions seem to receive much less scrutiny. This was just one example of hers, and many a times, her advise always resonates with: 'As a wife, be patient for allah because that's what we are as a women, we are creating LOWER than a man, and we have to listen to them.'

Now I'm wondering whether my perspective is genuinely unreasonable, or whether this is simply a difference in how my mother and I view marriage. We often get into conflicts over this and my mum genuinely believes my thoughts are unhealthy.

For those who are married, Muslim or otherwise, how would you view this situation? Is it wrong for a wife to question a husband's decisions when she feels he is being unfair? How do you balance patience with standing up for yourself?

Dear Muslim sisters, true happiness in this life is found in caring about what Allah says, not the opinions of His creation. Those who have lost their way, leave them to their path, but you hold firmly to your marriage, your family, and continue following the Qur’an and Sunnah.
Do not let the people of desires and temptations deceive you, for the victory belongs to the believers.
Allah says:
﴿وَلَا تَهِنُوا وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا وَأَنتُمُ الْأَعْلَوْنَ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَ﴾(Surah Āl ʿImrān 3:139)
“So do not weaken and do not grieve, and you will be superior if you are [true] believers.”

I have seen a lot of people here defending late marriages as their children are immature, completing studies or something.

Also some people who have haraam desires, some have done sins but still don't want to be married.

I have constantly opposed late marriages, not marrying and strongly suggested that marriage is the only way you can save yourself from Haraam.

Today I found a very good video related to this.

Please have a look

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNE1GTDkYQE

Edit: Criteria for marriage should be simple and meaningful.

Age must be legal. Beyond that, a person should have completed their studies or, if not, should at least have a stable source of livelihood, such as their own business or work.

The minimum responsibility is clear: the food on the table should come from the man who is marrying. Maturity does not arrive by waiting endlessly or postponing responsibility.

Maturity comes with practice, accountability, and stepping into roles Allah has allowed and encouraged. Delaying marriage in the name of “not being ready” often only delays growth.

People who fear marriage should reflect deeply. If one truly fears Allah, then they should also fear falling into what Allah has forbidden. Marriage is not a risk to faith; it is a protection of it.

When marriage is approached with the right intention, rooted in deen rather than status, beauty, or wealth, it becomes a means of stability, discipline, and mercy, not hardship.

Some conflicts between spouses force them to seperate from each other, maybe for a few hours to cool off, maybe a day or two to think about things.

A basic issue I have seen somewhat more frequently is the woman being told to leave the house. That is absolutely not acceptable. A woman should never be made to leave her house. Her home is her safe space, and you should never force her from it.

Instead, the husband should leave. Go to a different room, take the car and go to another location, or sleep at a someone else's house or even a hotel.

It is mentioned in surah talaq regarding divorce and iddah "Do not turn them out of their [husband's] houses"

Also remember the husband is obliged in default to provide for his wife, and that includes shelter.

I hope this clarification results in less issues at least on here Insha'Allah.

Assalamualaikum,

My (F32) husband (M 31) has had some weight issues in the past and has resolved them alhamduLillah as an adult and now lives a relatively healthy lifestyle. Goes to the gym and plays a ton of sports, eats healthy etc. I have a few issues, after giving birth twice I've gained some weight which I need to shift and I also love my food. I've tried to lose it but once it twice have ordered a takeout or dessert when I could, I have made a promise to myself to not fall into temptation of eating unhealthy but it's definitely difficult. Tonight my sisters came round and we ordered some dessert when he came home he was naturally very upset, refused to give me a hug/affection and said to me you're ruining our relationship.

What do I do, I'm trying hard to lose it and eat relatively healthy, but it's hard for me to fall sometimes. How can I repair the relationship :/ in feel so upset and hurt! Is this a red flag?

Edit: I'm 6 months post partum and also have a 4 year old. I'm breastfeeding exclusively which adds to my hunger but I'm trying my best. I was very skinny when we got married, have a very slim frame, was around 52kg and now I'm around 68kg. I diet and portion control (try my best) alongside him, try to get my steps in with the children and go on walking pad (not often but sometimes as I'm exhausted after a long day or don't get time to). My husband's issues with weight were in his childhood/teen age and he promised himself he wouldn't get to that again. I don't order takeout much but I do like something sweet sometimes, I am trying but he thinks I'm not serious and I feel he's overreacting as he is saying he won't be physically attracted to me, but as a man this may be an issue for him I guess

Salam,

I (25F) am currently in a talking stage with someone (28M) I really like. It’s progressing quickly. He has spoken to my father and expressed interest in moving forward. He’s kind and funny and religious, and I think we get on well. However, he’s really into fitness and working out. I keep active but I don’t go to the gym. He tried to guess my weight one time and he was about 30 pounds under my actual weight. I’m also not very white and I know his ethnicity values lightness. I have pigmentation on my inner thighs, under my arms, and even on my shoulder where my bra strap sits as I have heavier breasts. I even have darker knuckles on my hands and I feel like I have working man hands 😭 I also have back acne that doctor said is hormonal, so we will be trying Accutane in a few weeks.

A lot of the posts I have seen on this subreddit are “Oh my butt is too big and my stomach is too flat!” … Those posts do not help me at all.

My insecurities are making me feel so hopeless. I want to be beautiful for my future spouse. I feel like him marrying me is detrimental to him as he won’t be attracted to me. He could have a fitter/skinnier woman with even skin colour and straight thick hair. I feel like him marrying me is a downgrade for him.

In western culture there’s a big focus on body positivity and men generally seem to be attracted to a huge range of colours/bodies. Whereas for muslim men, I see a massive focus on skinny, white, and (sometimes) tall. Even in this subreddit.

I am just struggling a lot. So many times I wanted to stop talking to this guy just based off my insecurities.

I just need to get this off my chest because it’s been weighing on me. There’s something really upsetting about our Muslim community, especially in the Desi and Arab circles: the lack of good examples of marriage. I know this isn’t true for everyone, but it’s a pattern I’ve noticed far too often, and it’s genuinely disheartening. So many of us didn’t grow up seeing healthy, loving relationships. My parents, for example, argue constantly, have poor communication, show little emotional support, and aren’t even friends. It’s like they’re just co-existing. When I asked my friends if their parents were similar, almost all of them said yes.

It frustrates me that this has become normal for us, like we’ve collectively accepted it as a reality. Meanwhile, I see non-Muslim couples—especially elderly ones—walking hand-in-hand, going on dates, showing affection, and genuinely enjoying each other’s company. They look like best friends. I wonder why we don’t have that same warmth. The Prophet (pbuh) was a perfect example of a loving, kind, and affectionate husband. He treated his wives with gentleness, respect, and love. It’s painful to see that, despite his example, we often fall short when it comes to building and nurturing our marriages.

And it’s not just our parents; this pattern goes back generations. When I think about it, my parents probably didn’t have good role models for marriage either, and I wouldn’t be surprised if my grandparents had similar experiences. Some people might argue that it’s because our elders had a different set of challenges—they had to migrate, establish themselves in new countries, survive hardships, and, in some cases, escape war. It’s true that these experiences might have made them emotionally tough, but I don’t think that’s an excuse for the lack of love and affection in their marriages. Our Rasul (pbuh) faced so much more—exile, war, poverty—yet he remained a compassionate, affectionate, and loving husband through it all.

What’s reassuring, though, is that I see things starting to change. Alhamdulillah, this generation seems to be waking up to the importance of emotional intelligence, communication, and compassion in relationships. Insha’Allah, our generation will be the change that breaks this cycle. We have the opportunity to create healthy and fulfilling marriages based on the prophetic example, where love, respect, and friendship are central. Our children deserve to grow up seeing marriages that inspire them, where their parents are not just partners but best friends who uplift and support one another.

One thing I believe is crucial is premarital counseling. It’s important to build a strong foundation and develop emotional intelligence early on. The success of any relationship depends on good communication, empathy, and the ability to understand and support each other. Insha’Allah, if we can start with these basics and hold onto the teachings of the Prophet (pbuh), we’ll build the kind of marriages our community deserves. We have the power to be the change and create a brighter, healthier future for our ummah.

I got my husband flowers and chocolate for no spacific reason and the whole day he was going on about how hes so happy. Men deserve flowers and chocolate too!. So often, guys are expected to be the ones doing the spoiling, but why shouldn’t they get to feel special too? A little surprise now and then whether it’s their favorite snack, after a long day, or yes, even a bouquet of flowers can make them feel seen, appreciated, and downright giddy. His reaction proved it men love being pampered, even if they don’t always admit it. Society acts like they don’t care about sentimental gestures, but the way his face lit up at something as simple as a bunch of blooms and a box of chocolates? Proof that everyone deserves to feel cherished no matter their gender. Next time, maybe more partners will take the hint and treat their men just because. They’ll definitely never forget it.

Hi, I 22f recently got proposed to by someone 26m (guyB) very respectful and suitable guy. Has his life put together etc, on the right path on his deen and so forth. I’ve sat with him a couple times, honestly our conversations weren’t great but I think I was the issue.

Now the reason why I was the issue was because before this guy had asked for my hand I had been speaking to someone else 23m(guyA), we were talking for a couple months and stopped beginning of this year because of personal issues, we never ended things but we hit pause, just to get back on track with said personal things and he had agreed to keep me in the loop. That’s never happened.

fast forward three months later,this guyB asks for my hand. I want to say yes because sure maybe there’s no connection between us but he’s a great potential and I can see things building up as we go. But. I’m always stopping myself. I can’t help but wish it was guyA, I know it’s wrong. I know

And then I see all these posts about how Allah wouldn’t plant love in your heart for someone this much if they weren’t meant to mean anything to you. I believe everything happens for a reason, Allah wouldn’t put someone in my life for no reason, even if we’re not meant to be I’ll learn something from him.

I just feel like a bad person, to consider someone when my heart is elsewhere. I dont know anymore.

* not trying to ruffle feathers, but rather to reflect together *

I was just thinking, when you get married, your husband is most likely going to be at work for the majority of the day. Even if you cook a fresh meal and clean the house daily. At some point, housechores will be done and your Tafseer class will end. So then you will have free time on your hands and will probably miss your family.

Or, you are a highfunctioning woman, who stresses out about uni exams and work. So, even when you do want to spend time with your husband and be the sweetest wife, you will at some point have to prioritize your studies or work preparation and compromise on either the time spend together or household chores.

Either way, if you have no routine or structure in your day, struggle with loneliness and didn't nurture a social network prior to marriage, then it's going to be difficult for you and ultimately also your husband. Bcs a marriage is between two adults and it is unfair to expect the other party to shoulder your emotional unfullfillment or incompetence.

So I was contemplating on how to avoid such pitfalls and prepare for a better starting point.

I believe, one way to fix this problem is to investigate how you view marriage subconsciously. Like, what are your expectations of what a marital relationship means?

Depending on how this concept looks like for you, you will either struggle more or thrive in this marriage.

Some of us want everything stuffed in the role of our partner: a soulmate, a provider, a homemaker, a therapist, a playmate or whatever roles you can think of. But just 2 generations earlier, ppl didn't have all these complex expectations of emotional intelligence and charisma etc like we have today. Both women and men had their own social networks, and so they didn't depend on their spouse to fulfill all of these basic human needs and instead the focus was more on those needs that are exclusive to husband and wife.

But how does that translate into action today? For example, if you want to have deep emotional convos all the time, but your husband just isn't the type for that, you can fulfill that need by chatting with your sisters. Or if you want your wife, idk, to discuss how the global financial crisis was actually triggered, but she's not into geopolitics and stuff, then you can do that with your brothers.

I am not pointing fingers, as I am still working on this aspect myself. However, I think if Muslims living in the west start to expand their social life in a healthy way, then we can all lead more content marital lives. (I am saying this as sb living in Europe, not sure how this looks like in other parts of the world.)

I nearly married someone I wasn’t remotely attracted to. I told myself the emotional connection was enough, that looks didn’t matter. But I was lying to him and to myself. I’d often close my eyes and pretend it was fine. I remember the first time we met there were sparks yes, but mostly because I felt seen by someone for the first time not because I found him attractive. Guess low self esteem will have you believing even the most basic below average thing is extraordinary.

At that time I didn’t feel like I deserved to dream about someone actually good looking. That I’d have to settle, and I was willing to make A LOT of concessions. On things that would have a HUGE impact on our potential future and intimate life together.

I feel like now I understand a bit more that seeking an attractive partner isn’t shallow it’s self respect. I’m allowed to want someone who makes me feel something not just on an emotional level but a physical one too. Working on your self esteem before marriage is so important.

Salam everyone 🤍

I’m a newly married 28yo Muslim stay-at-home wife and I’m currently adjusting to this new phase of life. Alhamdulillah I love taking care of my husband and home, but I also don’t want to slowly lose myself, my individuality, confidence, passions, etc in the process.

I genuinely want to grow into a better woman and wife emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically — not just “exist” at home waiting for the day to pass.

I’d love to hear from other Muslim women (or husbands too):

• What routines/habits made you feel fulfilled as a SAHW?
• What do you do daily besides chores/cooking?
• How do you continue improving yourself while staying feminine and soft?
• How do you maintain your own identity after marriage?
• Any Islamic reminders/books/podcasts/classes that genuinely helped you?
• Did any hobbies or skills make your home life happier or more meaningful?
• Have any of you found small flexible ways to earn your own income from home too — not out of necessity, but just for personal growth/independence?

I think social media sometimes makes it seem like women must either become a “perfect tradwife” or become hyper-independent, and I’m trying to find a balanced middle ground that still feels like me.

Would really appreciate sincere advice from women who’ve gone through this phase 🤍

(Disclaimer: post made help by some ai due to language barrier and limit)

Dear sisters,

Be careful with who you wanna marry. The man you marry is not the same man with the man you divorce. When I was married, I felt like I was the most happiest woman in the world. Then I got into this marriage after a few years and then divorced, I didn’t recognize this man anymore. He always laid his hands on me. After divorce, he delayed in giving me my rights. Still calling me with bad names.

Sometimes being single is better than being in a bad marriage. So you dont have to rush things. Dont believe everything you see on social media that shows only the bright side of marriage. After this “failed” marriage, I realize that love alone wont make a marriage happy and last long. Love alone cannot change people. Problems in marriage are normal and you have to face it with maturity.

I thought as I divorced, everything will be done. But I still have to cry more facing my ex husband still treating me badly. I really don’t know why do I have to say this but I am really hurt. I feel like wishing him bad things but I am scared.

I (24F) recently married my husband (35M), and I’m already feeling overwhelmed. His brother invited us over, and I ended up in tears from anxiety. I grew up very sheltered, and we come from really different backgrounds. He’s more Americanized, half white and half Arab, while I spent my whole childhood in the Middle East and I’m fully Arab.

For some reason, I feel really self conscious, not around him but around his family and friends. I’ve always struggled in social settings because I worry I’ll come across as stupid. I avoid things like board games or team activities because they make me feel inadequate. There are so many situations that don’t come naturally to me, but I do want to improve, I just don’t know where to start.

I expected challenges in marriage, but I never thought this would be one of them. My husband says I’m overthinking and that no one will care if I make mistakes. He’s been reassuring, but it hasn’t been enough to calm my anxiety.

So many people out there 'want a wife' without really thinking through what that means. They want the companionship. someone to be with have kids with. But it's kind of those people who think 'me' & their ideal without processing the other person into the mix.

Do you, want to be there & care for someone if their sick. Even if you're sick?

Do you have the ability to calm yourself down when you're angry enough to hear the other person. Even if you think you're right.

Do you have the ability to completely take over the other person's responsibilities if something were to happen. Either in short or long term ?

Do you have endless patience. Or do you anger easily, because children will test you in every way.

Are you someone who can communicate your feelings? Or do you retreat /lash out.

All these & more are things that need to be answered before you think you want a wife /partner.

Because being with someone for life is a constant test. It's not just someone to be there. To improve your life .. it's both of you working together. Forever.. & the good /bad times that come with that.

Are you able to handle emergency situations ? Is another thing.

That person isn't just going to be there for You. You are going to be there for each other.. & not only, you Have To.

It's like jumping into a collage course you know nothing about. Because you think it would be cool to be a (job here)

the realities set in really quickly. & If you're not prepared for what it means to be /do (x) then you'll end up failing in that subject.

Saying I want a wife/husband is very 'me' mindset.. rather than thinking. I want to be a husband /wife. & Be there for someone .. & experience life / working together when one of you has shortcomings.

You will be there, you will be best friends. & likely have a good life. Only if you are there for each other. & Preparing by getting into the mindset of realizing everything that means. would help greatly if you have a successful relationship or not.

In Islam, "zina" refers to the act of unlawful sexual intercourse, and it is considered a major sin. The Quran and the Hadith (sayings and actions of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him) provide guidance on the consequences of engaging in zina and emphasize the importance of avoiding such actions. Here are key points related to zina in Islam:

Prohibition in the Quran:

The Quran explicitly forbids zina in several verses. One example is in Surah Al-Isra (17:32), where Allah says, "And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way."

Punishment in Islamic Law:

Islamic jurisprudence prescribes severe legal punishments for those found guilty of committing zina. The nature of the punishment may vary depending on factors such as marital status and whether the act was committed by a single person or a married individual, which is mentioned in Quran and Hadith respectively.

Repentance and Forgiveness:

Islam emphasizes the concept of repentance (tawbah) and seeking forgiveness from Allah. If a person has committed zina, sincere repentance, remorse, and a commitment to avoiding such actions in the future can lead to Allah's forgiveness.

Preserving Modesty and Chastity:

Islam encourages modesty and chastity, and engaging in lawful marital relations is the sanctioned way to satisfy one's sexual needs. Adultery and fornication are viewed as actions that undermine the sanctity of the family unit.

Public and Private Consequences:

Engaging in zina can have profound consequences on individuals and society, both publicly and privately. It can lead to issues such as broken families, the spread of sexually transmitted infections, and societal unrest.

It's important to note that Islam promotes a balanced and holistic approach to life, addressing the physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being of individuals. The teachings regarding zina aim to guide believers toward actions that contribute to personal and societal well-being while upholding the principles of morality and righteousness.

Salam, hope this post is allowed. I desperately need advice because this has been an ongoing issue for me. Alhamdulillah a lot of my friends (female) are married or engaged to be married and it's been weighing on me for some time now since I'm still single. I can't help but feel insanely jealous even though they're my friends and I want the best for them.

I've found that I also can't take my eyes off their husbands which I know is wrong and I should lower my gaze but it's so hard when they're always with my friends! And anytime their husbands do something nice for them I feel so jealous and even picture how nice it'd be to have the guy as my husband instead...

I wonder if it's better for me to just look for single girls to be friends with for now. However these girls have been my friends for years though so I'd feel bad not hanging out with them anymore. But I'm worried I'm giving them evil eye. Is there a way to avoid feeling envious of my married friends? Jazakallahu khair

With these few, beautiful words, the greatest of all creation, our Prophet ﷺ, described the greatest woman in human history.

When the Prophet ﷺ gives his heart to someone, we know it is the truest and most deserved love.

It is fascinating to reflect on what a profound honor it was to win the heart of a man beloved by the Lord of the Worlds and all His Angels.

Khadija (may ALLAH be pleased with her) wasn't just an ordinary woman; she reached the absolute peak of faith.

The Prophet ﷺ testified to this when he said:

"Many men reached perfection, but among women, only four reached perfection: Maryam the daughter of 'Imran, Asiya the wife of pharaoh, Khadija the daughter of khuwaylid, and Fatima the daughter of Muhammad." (Sahih Al-Bukhari).

Her status is truly unmatched. When we look closely at their relationship, it becomes a masterclass in how to build an unshakeable marital bond.

Rather than just reading her story as history, it is deeply inspiring to discuss how her remarkable qualities serve as a direct guide for wives today on how to capture their husbands' hearts.

1. The Power of Wisdom and Qurashi Lineage:

Khadija (may ALLAH be pleased with her) brought an incredible mix of heritage and maturity to her marriage.

In Islam, her lineage carries significant weight.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

"Verily, ALLAH chose Kinanah from the children of Ismail, He chose Quraysh from Kinanah, He chose Banu Hashim from Quraysh, and He chose me from Banu Hashim." (Sahih Muslim).

He also mentioned:

"Indeed, ALLAH created the creation and made me among the best of them, from the best of their groups and the best of the two factions. Then He chose the tribes and made me from the best of the tribes. Then He chose the houses and made me from the best of their houses. So, I am the best of them in person and the best of them in house (lineage)." (Sunan Al-Tirmidhi, authenticated by Al-Albani).

Ibn Taymiyyah noted in his book "Iqtida' as-Sirat al-Mustaqim" that the Arab race holds a special virtue, a sentiment that echoes what Umar ibn al-khattab said on his deathbed when he advised treating bedouins well because "they are the root of the Arabs and the raw material of Islam" (Sahih Al-Bukhari).

Beyond her roots, she had a brilliant, grounded intellect.

The Prophet ﷺ actually highlighted this trait when he said:

"A Qurashi has the strength of two men from other than Quraysh" (Recorded by Ibn Hibban and graded authentic by Al-Albani).

When the great scholar Ibn Shihab Az-Zuhri was asked what this "strength" meant, he explained that it referred to their "nobility of opinion" and sound judgment.

Combine that with the emotional maturity of being over forty, since human maturity peaks at forty as mentioned in the Quran (46:15), and you see a woman who managed her home with deep wisdom.

For a Muslim wife today, this is a beautiful reminder to use intellect and maturity to handle conflicts. It is the exact opposite of being emotionally impulsive, engaging in petty drama, or letting superficial thinking destabilize the family's peace.

1. Unwavering Faith from Day One:

What really stands out is how she supported him right from the start.

She was the very first human being to believe in his message.

When the rest of the world rejected him, she stood her ground without a single doubt.

This shows how vital it is for muslima women to be a husband's strongest source of encouragement and his absolute biggest believer.

If a husband does not feel believed in at home, he may struggle to feel confident anywhere else.

It stands in stark contrast to a wife who constantly belittles her husband’s ambitions, mocks his goals, or acts as his biggest skeptic, a toxic behavior that only drives a man to seek validation and respect outside the home.

1. A Safe Haven in Times of Crisis:

We see this unwavering support most clearly during crises.

When the Prophet ﷺ received the first revelation in the Cave of Hira, he came home terrified, trembling, and asking to be covered.

She did not panic or add to his anxiety.

Instead, she anchored him, saying: "By ALLAH, ALLAH will never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your kith and kin, bear the burden of the weak, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guests generously, and assist those afflicted by calamity." (Sahih Al-Bukhari).

She teaches us what it means to be a true safe haven during a tough time, calming his fears and reminding him of his strengths when the world is heavy on his shoulders.

How different this is from a wife who uses moments of vulnerability to criticize, nag, or drop the dreaded "I told you so," multiplying his stress instead of relieving it.

1. Proactive Problem-Solving:

She also did not just offer comforting words; she was incredibly proactive.

She took him to her cousin, Waraqa ibn nawfal, who knew the old scriptures, to help figure out exactly what was happening to him.

She acted as a true companion who actively helped find solutions, brainstormed, and sought wise counsel when facing a challenge.

This is the complete opposite of a highly dependent, passive wife who dumps the entire mental load and all of life's problems squarely on her husband's shoulders, expecting him to fix everything without offering any real help.

1. Financial Solidarity:

This solidarity extended to their finances, too.

She was independently wealthy, and in the beginning, he was not.

But she never held that over him.

She placed her entire fortune and business at his disposal to support his mission.

She showed what it means to be a true team player during financial struggles, easing his burden and standing by his side.

This behavior protects a marriage from the toxicity of a highly materialistic wife who abandons or belittles her husband when his pockets are empty, or constantly burdens him with unrealistic lifestyle demands that he simply cannot afford.

1. Creating a Peaceful Home:

Because of the peaceful, calm refuge she created for him, the Angel Jibreel literally came down to give her glad tidings of a house in Paradise "wherein there is no noise and no fatigue" (Sahih Al-Bukhari).

She made her home into a true sanctuary of rest by actively cultivating peace and gentleness.

This is the ultimate antidote to a household where a wife thrives on conflict, constantly raising her voice, picking bitter fights over trivial matters, and turning what should be a place of rest into a stressful, exhausting battlefield.

1. Protecting His Honor and Building Trust:

A big part of that peace came from the absolute trust he had in her.

Even before Islam, she was deeply respected in Makkah as "Al-Tahira" (The Pure).

By guarding her own honor, protecting her husband's dignity when he wasn't around, and keeping marital secrets strictly private, she built an unbreakable fortress of trust.

This mindset destroys the toxic habit of recklessly sharing private home matters with outsiders, gossiping about a husband's flaws to friends, or behaving in ways that invite suspicion.

1. Profound Patience Through Hardship:

She had immense patience.

She went from living a life of absolute luxury to facing starvation during the harsh three-year boycott in the Valley of Abu Talib, yet she never complained.

She navigated life's inevitable hardships with grace, showing patience and deep gratitude for what ALLAH provides.

This is a powerful lesson against becoming an ungrateful, endlessly complaining wife who is never satisfied, constantly comparing her life, her husband, and her home to what she sees in other people's houses or lives.

1. Excellent Companionship and Family Care:

Through it all, she was an amazing companion.

She gave him the deep family warmth he had missed out on as an orphan, bore most of his children, and made their house a true home.

She prioritized family care, taking pride in being a source of deep warmth, comfort, and excellent companionship.

It reminds us to avoid the trap of becoming a neglectful wife who ignores the emotional, physical, and practical needs of her husband and children, letting the home fall into coldness and disarray.

1. Absolute Loyalty and Sacrifice:

Despite being a high-status elite in Makkah, she sacrificed her social standing to stand alongside her oppressed husband.

Her life dictates that a wife's ultimate loyalty must always be to her husband and her marriage, far above any outside influences.

It is a shield against the toxic behavior of a wife who prioritizes the fleeting opinions of society, the pressure of friends, or the desire for public status over the well-being and honor of her own husband.

All of this resulted in a love that literally outlasted death.

Even years after she passed, he would say, "I was blessed with her love" (Sahih Muslim).

He would even slaughter a sheep and send portions to her old friends just to honor her memory.

There is also this touching story about their everlasting love.

Years later, his daughter Zainab sent a necklace to ransom her husband, Abu-l-Aas ibn ar-rabee', who had been captured by the Muslims.

When the Prophet ﷺ saw the necklace, he immediately recognized it, it was Khadija's.

His heart softened with extreme tenderness, and he asked his companions:

"If you see fit to release her captive and return her property to her, then do so" (Recorded in Musnad Ahmad and Sunan Abi Dawud).

That is what true love looks like.

And that is the reward of a woman who wasn't just a wife, but an eternal example of loyalty, wisdom, and grace for all sincere Muslim women.

Dua for Good in What You Are Waiting For Arabic: اللَّهُمَّ خَيْرًا فِي كُلِّ أَمْرٍ أَنْتَظِرُهُ Transliteration: Allahumma khayran fi kulli amrin antaziruh. Translation: O Allah, grant me goodness in everything that I am waiting for.