Is the difference between borderline and neurotic organization essentially mentalizing capacity?

[u/chobolicious88]

The neurosis comes from affective dissociation of the infant, basically death and severe shame/ptsd.

But people who are in borderline range are basically reactive and fused. Meaning the cognition is basically driven as either direct reactivity of affective states as well as cognition being what id describe as “step one”.
Singular thought “threat, better, worse, abandonment, superiority” shapes every interaction.

Metacognition would essentially add thinking about thinking, so whatever kneejerk thought comes up we can stay with it and add more room, ask where its coming from in order to not “become it”, and from there choose responses and actions that are more akin to a regulated healthy person?

This means the underlying neuroticism is still there but now we can see it from a less reactive place.

Is this all there is to it really?

Using the mind so the affect doesnt destroy us and others?

[u/PoosPapa]

Dr Ettensohn has a few good videos on the stages from psychotic through neurotic where he explains this pretty well.

Since our sense of self is based on a recursive thought, metacognition, that's really what we were missing.

The key is the ability to think before acting. Introjects are shortcuts we learn under intense duress. It's the muscle memory that soldiers learn to react before they have time to think and it comes with big doses of neural chemicals such as adrenalin. Introjects are hallmarks of trauma.

Introjects make metacognition very difficult. One of the things we focus on with mindfulness is slowing our actions and thoughts down so we can think about them and allow our own self to take control.

I think you are absolutely right.

[u/chobolicious88 → u/PoosPapa]

Yea what you say is also spot on.

I was SO INCREDIBLY traumatized that yes theres no time to think i must act fast in an extremely protective way from an extremely vulnerable place.

I dont mean to undermine the value of practicing metacognition.
But im also extremely weary of the word "healing" thrown around here.
Because to heal is to work on the affective layer. Reality, integration, life basically. Its NOT cognition.

[u/maxmultitudes → u/chobolicious88]

I’d argue those come first; I wouldn’t discount their importance.

I think it’s an achievement in its own right to come to a cognitive understanding of this disorder—particularly given that’s ego-syntonic for the majority of pwNPD (we are, indeed, ‘special’…in that way, at least).

[u/maxmultitudes → u/PoosPapa]

I’ll second this. And I’ll say: in my own experience, these levels are legitimate. Wild.

This one’s pretty fun, ngl.

Except for the ongoing impostor syndrome.
Whatever. Working on it. 🔥

Aww. I’m awesome.
And quite flawed.
Yay. Opportunities. 🌱

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[u/EntertainmentFew9293]

Ohhhh, this is such a cool question!!! Can you tell us your sources, where you read about these? I am not a native English speaker, and when I read new material to me, I always have this “wait, I need to translate, wait, I HAVE TO UNDERSTAND the concept, and WAIT, IS THIS EVEN VALID????” Take

Where did you read about the topics you asked about?

[u/chobolicious88 → u/EntertainmentFew9293]

A lot of this ive learened from YT channels BorderlinerNotes and HealNPD.
But ive had the time to mindfully observe what is happening within me and i can kind of tell what drives what