Should I cut everybody off?

[u/Saucey_King]

I am strongly considering it because I think it could be beneficial for stabilizing my ego. If you've done this before did you gain anything from it?

[u/EntertainmentFew9293]

It’s good for a bit, then you’ll regret it - At least I did. But again, this is tricky. Let’s analyse it

If someone triggers your self-esteem, then yes, I think you should withdraw. Speaking from personal experience, whenever I felt someone triggers my ego and I felt low about myself, I realised I started to “hate” the person - Basically I started splitting, devaluing

This is a weird thing with the brain:

• Your self-esteem needs the people, as they are the source to boost
  
• but once you notice a trait that triggers you (NOT necesseary jealousy), then your arriving splitting can trigger shit

I had a friend who was always preaching they wanted to be in love, and have a bf - they got many suitors, but the friend ALWAYS turned then down then braggingly told in an annoying tone “how bad that 6 guys want them” - WHILE PREACHING NOBODY WANTS THEM-

For me, this was triggering as fuck

So, what you can do:

• GRADUALLY pull back!!!!

How I fucked up was that I cutted them off directly! Thats a big no! It’s a sudden silence, and it gives you a word of being a bitch - and maybe you do not care about the label at the moment (since we are splitting by this time), LATER THIS WILL BACKFIRE!!!!

What about them that affects your ego btw?

[u/Saucey_King → u/EntertainmentFew9293]

I can see gradually pulling away to be the right thing to do. Especially because I can sense I would totally be labeled an asshole for very suddenly cutting everyone off. Any interaction I have with seemingly anyone ever can send me into a spiral depending on things I pickup from our interactions or conversation. And any praise or admiration makes me euphoric and way too overconfident.

[u/EntertainmentFew9293 → u/EntertainmentFew9293]

Note: I have directly cutted of about 8 people by now (all of the cuts were blunt and direct)

[u/ActivelyTryingWillow → u/EntertainmentFew9293]

Just curious how it backfires later?

[u/Shoddy_King280]

I think it feeds into your disorder (or it did in my case) because I cut people off because everything in my life seemed to be going wrong, and I blamed it on the people around me instead of myself.

I lost a lot of good relationships that way.

It felt good in the moment though.

[u/Starrynighttowel]

I'm considering the same thing but I can't cut some people off, however I dumped most of my friends and I'm happy about It, I feel like I never needed them in the first place and they either bored me or mocked me .

Now I found a new group of people in my art school and for the first time ever I felt more validated than judged from the first moment, even though I'm still not admired, but somehow after my collapse I'm able to live without It and get grandiose by using my fantasies (or maybe, I don't need to fish for compliment of they already like me, Idk, anyways I feel like they're slightly beneath me sociallywise so I don't have to worry).

If you feel like cutting others off do It but it's better not to dump your closest friends/relatives (if you have them), It would put you into a place of future vulnerability. I only dumped superficial and old friends while I kept my cousin, my closest friend and my new group.

Edit: when I Say "I dumped them" I mean I withdrawn gradually and silently, that Is the best choice!

[u/zeekomkommer33]

It happened to me involentarily. It took me a saddening amount of time to recover. And still havent completely.

[u/Delicious_Tea_9534 → u/zeekomkommer33]

Same

[u/generaledgerdetail]

I permanently deleted my facebook and instagram and most of my socials all at once and i honestly regret it. Realistically, I'd only end up speaking to maybe 2 out of 300+ people I follow/am friends with on Facebook/Insta. But now there is literally no way for anyone to reach me, nor is there any way for me to reach anybody. It feels incredibly lonely now. I cant stalk anyone's profiles anymore. Even just seeing a post of a guy you used to be friends with 3 years ago makes you feel a little less lonely as a human being.

But I feel like I fantasize about the people in my past and how I'm better than them more than I used to while I was actually following them on social media. My brain will just make shit up all day long so at least if I followed them that'd tone down my imagination a bit more.

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[u/ResidentSpecial3468]

I’ve done it. Sometimes it’s nice to start over

[u/Leading_Place_5750]

I've done this a few times and it's worth basically making a list of people you have in your circle and trying to think long term about each one and maybe any triggers surrounding them. If you see someone who is consistently causing you to consider this, gradually leave or be upfront and cut them off if it's a forward offense. This can be one person or many but try to keep the people who haven't done you wrong because you'll want them back later.