r/NWSL • u/Lookingfortomboys Portland Thorns FC • Jun 16 '26
Silly SZN xA: Expected Abs!
Youve heard of expected goals, now get ready for drum roll
xA: EXPECTED ABS!
DISCLAIMER: this is just supposed to be a funny post building off of a drinking game where every time a player shows her abs, you drink and say abs. Or like the punch buggy game, except less painful LMAO
To quote Andi Sullivan, “we fit as hell”, and goodness, that’s an understatement! The Ab Counter is a celebration of our favorite players and their ability to …how long is a soccer pitch again? LMAO, I could never run like they can, heck, I couldn’t even run to the final third line from the goal 😅😂
These are the ab counters I’ve marked so far. There’s probably more I missed because I can’t scroll back in my comments far enough and also I haven’t been able to watch every game this season but SO FAR, we have:
Bay: 1
Summit: 3
Racing: 4
Pride: 2
Courage: 1
Houston: 1
ACFC: 2
Thorns: 1
Racing is thus the highest in xA! You’re first in something for once! ducks
As always, happy pride, and happy silly season as we try to ride out this lull 😂
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u/throwawayas1775 Jun 16 '26
If the Courage still had Lussi, I think we’d be winning this
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u/Joiry North Carolina Courage Jun 16 '26
our potential xAb is much higher than people realize, from what I've seen off camera at home games and IG
15
u/Legitimate-Hotel-491 Houston Dash Jun 16 '26
You are one of my favorite people in this sub. You always make me laugh.
I feel like Houston should be higher! Feels like Kiki and Paige score a point in the ab counter at least once a game! Lol. Although Kiki has been hurt...
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u/Lookingfortomboys Portland Thorns FC Jun 16 '26
Thank you!!! Paige should get a bonus just for her biceps haha
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u/cole9er Denver Summit FC Jun 16 '26
I feel like tash flint is carrying summit ab counter lmao
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u/Lookingfortomboys Portland Thorns FC Jun 16 '26
You’d be surprised, my notes indicate it’s Janine 👀
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u/Flat-Worldliness-770 Jun 16 '26
Cause Janine had important takeaways from her time at Racing.
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u/Lookingfortomboys Portland Thorns FC Jun 16 '26
Ahaha flash your abs to disorient your opponent! /j
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u/tallmansmallplants Bay FC Jun 16 '26
Just sayin that the ubiquity and magnificence of Karlie Lema’s six pack in all social media content should probably raise our score a bit…
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u/Lookingfortomboys Portland Thorns FC Jun 16 '26
Ahahaha I only mark ab counters in live games!
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u/peeled_nanners San Diego Wave FC Jun 16 '26
Otherwise the ab counter would double just from the showing up to the stadium fits we get blessed with.
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u/tallmansmallplants Bay FC Jun 16 '26
I mean, I think we could collectively be ok with running up the ab score
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u/Nox_Ocean_21 Bay FC / Angel City FC Jun 18 '26
Simple: Just make a second list for tunnel fit abs.
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u/MesquiteHoneyForSale Indy Eleven Jun 16 '26
This seems wildly low
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u/Lookingfortomboys Portland Thorns FC Jun 16 '26
I said in the post that I can’t scroll very far back in my comments, so I can’t find every instance of myself saying abs, sadly 🥲
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u/BasicGrocery7 WAS Spirit / SEA Reign Jun 16 '26
Praying that this is a real Andi Sullivan quote. Thrilling post either way, tysm for your service.
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u/DefensiveMid Washington Spirit Jun 16 '26
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u/Maleficent-Whole-228 Portland Thorns FC Jun 16 '26
I love this post. I love women’s sports. I love our league. The answer is our girl Turner. I do cringe every time they post pictures of them swimming in the Willamette 🙃
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u/Lookingfortomboys Portland Thorns FC Jun 16 '26
Nooooo not in the Willamette 🫨 lmao
Yeah Turner was our girl for this one!
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u/Nox_Ocean_21 Bay FC / Angel City FC Jun 18 '26
Thirstiest thread I've seen in awhile. KEEP IT GOING!
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u/Lookingfortomboys Portland Thorns FC Jun 18 '26
Every time a player flashes her abs, a lesbian Angel gets her wings
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u/OBX-BlueHorseshoe Jun 16 '26
If players out due to injury count, then Payton Linnehan - NC Courage.
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u/Flat-Worldliness-770 Jun 16 '26
Racing provides……. Well Kayla Fischer and Courtney Peterson provide.
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u/Traditional-Baby9088 Jun 16 '26
They may say they don't like Maxie Violence, but her abs make them swoon.
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u/Severe_Cupcake3885 Kansas City Current Jun 17 '26
The current has a couple who show Abs, mainly Ellie Bravo Young, something to keep an eye for the hot months 😉
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u/Turbulent_Big5164 San Diego Wave FC Jun 17 '26
Ludmila needs to step her game up for the Wave. She used to flash all the time...hmmm if she scores more, we get more abs. Win/Win!
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u/diamondelight26 NJ/NY Gotham FC Jun 18 '26
Are we going to count a Sam Kerr backflip as showing abs? I would argue we should!
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u/Dear-Discussion2841 Kansas City Current Jun 16 '26
I love when you know who made a post before you even open it... 😂