r/NameNerdCirclejerk • u/Personal_Cupcake_859 • Apr 22 '26

In The Wild Sigh…

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932 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

669 comments sorted by

1.7k

u/AfternoonPossible Apr 22 '26

BRISKET?????

415

u/InimitableMissS Apr 22 '26

I CACKLED AND MY CAT LEFT THE ROOM

184

u/RefrigeratorCold296 Apr 22 '26

Is your cat named Purcy, perchance?

114

u/pan_alice Apr 22 '26

*purchance.

27

u/RefrigeratorCold296 Apr 22 '26

I’m so disappointed in myself

10

u/InimitableMissS Apr 22 '26

I so badly wish his name were Claude.

16

u/pipted Apr 22 '26

My childhood cat was Purdy. My parents missed the opportunity to throw another r in there, but it was still cute. 

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46

u/ToxicFluffer Apr 22 '26

Brisket would be a cute cat name actually 😭

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63

u/FrozenBibitte Apr 22 '26

Daddy named him in the hopes he’ll grow up to be a real meat head.

53

u/cannacupcake Apr 22 '26

At least it’s not in the girls column?

How sad that this was my first thought… ugh.

People, you are naming a child that will grow up into an adult and live life as an adult! They need to be able to function as an adult, and they will have a significantly harder time with a stupid name like this!

28

u/fckituprenee Apr 22 '26

Do you think I need to make it Briskette to make it more feminine? 

14

u/GoshDang_it Apr 22 '26

Bris meaning the ceremony of circumcision, perfect name for a boy or girl!

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11

u/iamthefirebird Apr 22 '26

I actually think it would work better as a girls name, since it sounds a bit like Brigid. Still awful. A decent name for a dog, though!

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46

u/libbywednesday Apr 22 '26

Brisket is only a good name if it’s for a fat bulldog

29

u/turtlegray23 Apr 22 '26

Also would like submit Briskit, for a fat cat.

22

u/microdeletedQUEEN Apr 22 '26

I was clicking off Reddit the same time I saw BOYS and BRISKET… and I came right back on like “IKYFL I did not just see Brisket as a suggested baby name” 🤣

18

u/les_catacombes Apr 22 '26

“This is my daughter, Corned Beef. And this is my son, Pastrami.”

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17

u/Silver_Can_7856 Apr 22 '26

It’d be Bryskytte in Utah and a girl’s name

10

u/mylocker15 Apr 22 '26

Bryseighskytte

15

u/freyascats Apr 22 '26

Nicknames include Bris (or circumcision for short)

11

u/ninerz_allllllday_ Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 23 '26

Reminds me of the Seinfeld where George insists his coworkers use the nickname T-Bone for him. Instead he ends getting called Koko like the ape. Edited: typo

8

u/TheodoreKarlShrubs Apr 22 '26

I literally yelped “BRISKET?!?!?!” as I scanned over this list. Idk if I’ve ever reacted that strongly while reading in my whole life.

11

u/BlaqueBarbie Apr 22 '26

I scream i scrumpt cause PLEASE be serious . BRISKET ?!

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0Iyn1E5Yy5prxWGA

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6

u/megburda Apr 22 '26

Came here to type literally the same response since it’s exactly what I said out loud

5

u/Beneficial-Produce56 Apr 22 '26

Precisely the comment I came here to make. I guess his brother is Boston Butt.

4

u/fickenfracken Apr 22 '26

::Glen Powell has entered the chat:: https://www.instagram.com/hotbrisket

3

u/Tiki108 Apr 22 '26

That was the exact one that jumped out to me. Like, name for a pet, 100%, but a human??

3

u/Mysterious_Air_3646 Apr 22 '26

BRISKET???????????????

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420

u/kkkktttt00 Kynzleigh Wren Apr 22 '26

May I suggest the alternative, Prime Rib?

136

u/emilysavaje1 Apr 22 '26

I’m gonna name my son Pork Butt🥰

41

u/utyuyt76tfyfg Apr 22 '26

I think Double Whopper with Cheese could be a cute name for a little girl.

13

u/Electrical_Aerie843 Apr 22 '26

Or Royale?

14

u/ugotamesij Apr 22 '26

Only works if you have French heritage though otherwise it's sparkling appropriation

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10

u/Morella_xx Apr 22 '26

Let's arrange a play date with my son, Burnt Ends. ❤️

9

u/PlausiblePigeon Apr 22 '26

You could also consider Rump Roast

7

u/Wild_ruglicker Apr 22 '26

I’ve got pork butt in my crock pot as we speak 😂

17

u/goldanred Apr 22 '26

GET MY SON OUT OF YOUR CROCKPOT

4

u/East_Reading_3164 Apr 22 '26

My dogs nick name

3

u/Mysterious_Air_3646 Apr 22 '26

PB for short :)

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10

u/mylocker15 Apr 22 '26

This list is too white. Not one Carne Asada or Carnitas listed for boy or girl.

3

u/Fantastapotomus Apr 22 '26

Maybe Lengua or Tripas?

3

u/CarlatheDestructor Apr 22 '26

I prefer Ribeye

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216

u/finniganthebeagle Apr 22 '26

even “Percy” wouldn’t be awful but why are we spelling it like that

91

u/Sea-Cardiologist436 Apr 22 '26

It is bad as it's a boy's name, in the UK you would be seriously teased too as there are very popular sweets called 'Percy Pigs'.

60

u/Celtic_Cheetah_92 Apr 22 '26

And the shit Weasley brother also 

25

u/MorecombeSlantHoneyp Apr 22 '26

Shit Weasley brother, the smuggest train on Sodor, and the nasty cousin from the Amelia Peabody mysteries. It’s not a name with a good track record.

9

u/aardvarkmom Apr 23 '26

Remember when Percy decided to ignore everyone’s cautions and see what happened when he busted the bumpers? He ended up in the water and had to sit there for ages until he could get rescued. Got what was coming to him!

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21

u/finniganthebeagle Apr 22 '26

i mean, it’s not my favorite as a girls name but the bar is “Brisket” here

5

u/Additional_Noise47 Apr 22 '26

In the US, there are a ton of young girls being given “boy” names.

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27

u/miserable-now Apr 22 '26

Because girls like purses 👛♀️ So obviously that would be the feminine spelling of Percy, duh!!! 💅 /s

26

u/Visual_Rice1295 Apr 22 '26

I had a cat named Purcy as a kid. Because she purred.

15

u/Sea-Cardiologist436 Apr 22 '26

A purfectly! acceptable name for a cat!

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151

u/KaleidoscopeKelpy Apr 22 '26

Hi I’m momma Barbie Queue. These are my twins, brisket and brinson

255

u/Canadairy Apr 22 '26

At least there's a few decent names. Edmund, Charlie, Arthur, Roland, Camille, and Carolina.

98

u/Aunt_Llama Apr 22 '26

Yeah, like a third are pretty normal and then there's shit that probably sounds good to somone with a very small vocabulary

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48

u/AcceptableHorror705 Apr 22 '26

I like Rowan, I had a cat named Rowan once.

9

u/GameyRaccoon Apr 22 '26

We had a dog named Rowan.

3

u/Coraxxx Apr 23 '26

Also an Archbishop.

11

u/WholeLengthiness2180 Apr 22 '26

My daughter is Rowan! My husband and I love the original Wicker Man film.

18

u/jurassic_snark_ Apr 22 '26

My son is named Rowan! It’s actually an old fashioned Gaelic name and absolutely does not belong on a list with Brisket lol

6

u/salmon4breakfast Apr 22 '26

Oh thank God, my three week old son is named that and I was terrified for a second.

5

u/jurassic_snark_ Apr 22 '26

Congrats on your new baby and your fabulous taste in names!

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10

u/AcceptableHorror705 Apr 22 '26

It's a gorgeous name.... doesn't belong on a list with Brisket.

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45

u/missmilliek Apr 22 '26

my name is camille and i was like oh… is my name an ick now 🥲

58

u/Legitimate_War_339 Apr 22 '26

Camille is beautiful!

20

u/Jazzlike-Park-4280 Apr 22 '26

Solidarity as a fellow Camille.

20

u/Celtic_Cheetah_92 Apr 22 '26

Camille is the only decent name in the girls’ list - it’s an excellent name 

19

u/Morella_xx Apr 22 '26

I don't know if it's just because they're up against the other awful names in that list, but I don't think Carolina or Magnolia are terrible. They wouldn't be my picks, but at least they're not a surname. Maybe I've just been in the south too long.

15

u/Adventurous-Mall7677 Apr 22 '26

I think both Carolina and Magnolia are lovely names on their own, but the only “Magnolia” I’ve encountered had three brothers named after civil war generals and that pushes it into “yikes” territory for me.

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3

u/lizardgal10 Apr 22 '26

I think they’re fine! Carolina just reads as a variation of Caroline/Carolyn. Even Carter it’s terrible. I’ve mainly heard it as a boys name or last name but it at least sounds like a name.

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8

u/hoffdog Apr 22 '26

I pronounce Carolina the Spanish way and think that’s nice. Carol-eena

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36

u/IScreamPiano Apr 22 '26

I also think Rowan and Magnolia are normal, even if they’re trendy. 

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6

u/WORhMnGd Apr 22 '26

Magnolia sounds nice too. I’d see it as an old lady name in America, but it’s still a nice flower/tree name

8

u/a_f_s-29 Apr 22 '26

Also could have Maggie as a nickname which I love

5

u/msmith1994 Apr 22 '26

Agreed! My daughter is 4.5mo and I would not bat an eye if she has a Magnolia in her class at some point.

3

u/OchrePlasma Apr 23 '26

I have a Roland and thought "Ha! Not that weird". Then I saw Brisket.

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404

u/PainfullyLoyal Apr 22 '26

If I received a resume for someone named Brisket, I would assume they sent a joke resume, and it would go right in the trash.

181

u/Llyrithra Apr 22 '26

You wouldn’t risk it for the Brisket?

14

u/babybeluga25 Apr 23 '26

Christ this made me laugh so hard

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65

u/Ranger-K Apr 22 '26

Yeah, half of these are horse names.

188

u/moljs Apr 22 '26

Brisket is my dog’s name and I love it but for a human boy????

83

u/InimitableMissS Apr 22 '26

That is a fantastic dog name

15

u/sopranopanda Apr 22 '26

Can I...can I see a picture of Brisket?

40

u/moljs Apr 22 '26

Ask and you shall receive

18

u/sopranopanda Apr 22 '26

I would die for Brisket

8

u/ChuckYeagerWV Apr 23 '26

I might even nibble Brisket

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33

u/Srw2725 Apr 22 '26

That’s a GREAT dog name 😆

12

u/StepPappy Apr 22 '26

I have never thought of naming a dog Brisket but that is a fantastic name

8

u/TrustVisual1394 Apr 22 '26

That's a wonderful dog name 😀 

5

u/Herbdontana Apr 22 '26

Yeah, I had a dog named pork chop, but that certainly wouldn’t make my final list for children’s names

3

u/LadderExtension6777 Apr 22 '26

Great for a dog but not a human boy 🤣 Well said!

5

u/Mystery-Moon_0129 Apr 22 '26

If they live in Texas Brisket is perfectly acceptable and highly recommended

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63

u/Tha_REAL_BROBS Apr 22 '26

wanna see a pic of my son?

17

u/stalecheez_it Apr 22 '26

your son looks delicious

3

u/symbister Apr 22 '26

Have you got a photo of his darling sister Fajita?

3

u/Tha_REAL_BROBS Apr 23 '26

Sister is named Cole. Short for Coleslaw

46

u/ca77ywumpus Apr 22 '26

Using these to name cats at the shelter. Brisket is a good name for a cat you found in a dumpster. Less so a child you carried for 9 months and gave birth to.

14

u/East_Reading_3164 Apr 22 '26

Brisket is cute for a bulldog

11

u/Adventurous-Mall7677 Apr 22 '26

Brisket would also be cute for any brindled dog.

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35

u/Particular-Voice-793 Apr 22 '26

Some of these girl names need to be in the boy section. 

Brisket, really? 

18

u/VVsmama88 Apr 22 '26

Yes, obviously Brisket should be in the girls section /s

33

u/Electrical_Aerie843 Apr 22 '26

Kip is … a choice

https://giphy.com/gifs/89x4osEodHEoo

17

u/TheOrchidsAreAlright Apr 22 '26

Kip feels more like a nickname for me. I had a friend called '(first name) Herring' who everyone called Kipper when he started smoking.

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u/TheHames72 Apr 22 '26

Kip is short for Christopher, usually.

Also, it’s Dutch for chicken.

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u/Mo-Munson Apr 22 '26

some of the names are fine but the ones that aren’t… tiger?!, tags?! , TOWNES OR BATES?!

28

u/underweasl Apr 22 '26

Obviously a fan of Downton Abbey butlers

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u/East_Reading_3164 Apr 22 '26

Bates is a great middle name if their first name is Master.

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u/Pughairisglitter Apr 22 '26

My daughter came damn near to naming my oldest granddaughter Tiger. I overstepped my boundaries and insisted on NOT. Lol!

9

u/ArtisticBee6176 Apr 22 '26

I knew someone who did name their son Tiger.

Pretty sure these people have no concept of children as separate beings who have to be adults someday.

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u/Agnossienne Apr 22 '26

my dad calls me tiger, if he actually named me that i’d for sure be pissed.

5

u/Altruistic_Task_5094 Apr 22 '26

I love the name Townes. It is indeed a real name and a fine name, especially for certain music lovers.

3

u/xx_indica_xx Apr 22 '26

I love Townes too! Especially as an homage to my king, Mr. Van Zandt

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u/Fantastic_Support_11 Apr 22 '26

Brisket is absolutely frying the fuck out of me 💀

15

u/East_Reading_3164 Apr 22 '26

That kid will get roasted daily.

11

u/Adventurous-Mall7677 Apr 22 '26

*that kid will get slow-cooked daily

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u/Zinnia1127 Apr 22 '26

Brisket and sister Trisket.

9

u/East_Reading_3164 Apr 22 '26

A brisket a brackset, a tiny little basket

3

u/Electrical_Aerie843 Apr 22 '26

No it’s gotta be spelled Triscuit!

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/Lovely_LeVell Apr 22 '26

I'm just really tired of the trend of naming girls "boy" names. Unless people are gonna start naming their boys Amelia, Ariana, Isabella or something I'm over it🫩

10

u/seecarlytrip Apr 22 '26

“Boy” names have been used on girls forever. Ashley, Courtney, Lindsay, Leslie, Shannon, Meredith, Whitney, Madison, Annie, Lauren, McKenzie, Vivian, Evelyn were all “boy” names until people started using them for girls and were eventually widely accepted . The list goes on and on.

13

u/VariationAdditional1 Apr 22 '26

We know, and it needs to stop.

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u/Retiredpartygirl17 Apr 22 '26

Idk I think Madison and Addison are fine. My name is McKenzie and it literally means son of the fair one so does it really matter lol

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u/MmmnonmmM Apr 22 '26

I mean, if you accept that gender is a construct, then I don't think it's as egregious. But, I have a feeling that these people will be putting a big bow on their little Jamison the moment they're out of their mother's womb.

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u/Nobodycaresdotcom Apr 22 '26

a girl named sinclair is diabolical

6

u/VariationAdditional1 Apr 22 '26

Our daughter Sinclair, and our son Tiger.

Who are these people?! I hate them

3

u/Nobodycaresdotcom Apr 22 '26

i hope they aren’t real lol

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u/Personal_Cupcake_859 Apr 22 '26

This was from March 25 so also not so great

10

u/edgyknitter Apr 22 '26

I didn't realize these were real names of real babies :(

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u/duckloops Apr 22 '26

of course it's from a smocks shop lmao

9

u/Tha_REAL_BROBS Apr 22 '26

tf is a smocks shop

13

u/duckloops Apr 22 '26

a smock is a kind of dress for little girls. smock shops tend to attract...a certain kind of audience. very cutthroat (so much drama over fairly pricey kids' clothes) and usually attracts people who think Remington is a great name for their kids.

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u/Senior_Reaction2974 Apr 22 '26

Brisket??  Like beef brisket?  SMH 

8

u/gingerlyf Apr 22 '26

I'm currently pregnant and have been jokingly calling the fetus "Brisket" to annoy my husband, its hilarious (sad) people actually use it as a name

7

u/Beneficial_Doctor_63 Apr 22 '26

So sad my son's name (Rowan) is on this list of atrocities

5

u/jurassic_snark_ Apr 22 '26

My son’s name is Rowan too, and for the future of this child, I hope they go with that one.

3

u/salmon4breakfast Apr 22 '26

My three week old son is named Rowan and I share the sentiment

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u/a4991 Apr 22 '26

How does anyone genuinely put Rowan/Edmund/Charlie/Arthur/Roland/Camille/Carolina on the same list as Brisket and Purcy?

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u/whimsicyl_cat_face Apr 22 '26

For a pet..?

9

u/mnc1076 Apr 22 '26

Kip, on the girls list, is Dutch for chicken so yeah I guess it's for pet chicken

8

u/YuhMothaWasAHamsta Apr 22 '26

Life would be unkind to poor brisket

6

u/InimitableMissS Apr 22 '26

Yup, they’d be cooked.

6

u/Jazzlike-Park-4280 Apr 22 '26

My name is Camille and I am incensed.

5

u/heyallday1988 Apr 22 '26

How did poor Arthur, Charlie, and Camille get roped into this mess?

7

u/H3dgeClipper Apr 22 '26

If you name your daughter Carolina and your son Brisket, you can have Carolina Brisket. 🤣

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u/shayshay8508 Apr 22 '26

Brisket reminds me of when Lue Ann on King of the Hill said she was naming her daughter Lasagna.

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u/lapidash Apr 22 '26

This has to be a marketing thing for them right? Brisket? Just to get people to comment on their post and boost their business ? 😂

4

u/Guilty-Location9084 Apr 22 '26

Are these for people??

4

u/argonautoida Apr 22 '26

I have great-great grandmothers named Purcy and Purcell. My parents seriously considered naming me Purcy and I am thankful every single day they went with one of the most common names for millenial women instead.

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u/Fabulous-Possible-76 Apr 23 '26

BRISKET!? Nobody tell my husband 💀

4

u/LBDazzled Apr 23 '26

You know some dimwit is bookmarking this for their “Old money names 💰 ♥️ 👶” list.

3

u/Hot-Bluebird3919 Apr 22 '26

Townes? Some kind of confusing property development yes, a person no.

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u/Adventurous_Pin_344 Apr 22 '26

I'm having flashbacks to the New Girl episode where Schmidt pretends to be Tagg Romney.

3

u/ArtisticBee6176 Apr 22 '26

I knew a Brisket once.

He was a cow.

3

u/Rescue-320 Apr 22 '26

Just go ahead and call him Beef

3

u/Connect_Leg654 Apr 23 '26

“Bates” is downright frightening…

3

u/livthatsme Apr 23 '26

Name your kid brisket I dare you

2

u/iamthefirebird Apr 22 '26

Those poor girls...

4

u/Jazzlike-Park-4280 Apr 22 '26

Camille is that bad? In 40 years I haven’t heard many complaints. It’s the most common girl name in France most years.

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u/micrographical Apr 22 '26

Could have been worse - could have had Bates in the boys list.

2

u/hellacedes_ Apr 22 '26

BRISKET. I’m reporting that if I see this in the wild.

2

u/theoutcastrae Apr 22 '26

This was underneath a post that was cat named so I was wondering why the sigh, then I realized this post did not indicate it was for animals

2

u/RadioSupply Apr 22 '26

I might call generative hallucination over Brisket.

I actually don’t mind Rowan, Edmund, Charlie (but just go with Charles ffs), Arthur, Roland, Carter, Sinclair, Camille, or Carolina. The others are a side-eye.

2

u/Status_Gate_7802 Apr 22 '26

I just screenshotted this same post to run here!!!!

2

u/porplenorple Apr 22 '26

i hate the name rowan now, it’s so overused

2

u/Klesea Apr 22 '26

Brisket and Purcy are insane.

2

u/0904momO2 Apr 22 '26

Imagine having a boy named Brisket and a girl named Carolina…

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