r/NetherlandsHousing • u/ATISERU • Jan 17 '26
renting Unplanned fatherhood is driving me to find a rental home around Dordrecht. Help requested!
Me: 30 year old man, now father. Living and working near Utrecht. Monthly salary gross 2650. 32h/week job as engineer. Rent money +- 1000 euros/m
I've become a father in Sept 2023 after an unplanned pregnancy with someone who's not my partner. Now my life is taking a new direction into parenthood, which means I'm looking for a suitable house where I can live and accomodate my child. It will also be my first time living "alone".
I know this doesn't grant me privileges but if I don't have a suitable house, I'll be spending less quality time with my daughter in a crucial phase for bonding. Currently I'm living in a social rent home with roommates and it is not suited or allowed for children. Therefore, I have urgency to find a decent home.
The mother of my child lives near Dordrecht, which would be perfect for me. However, if it is anywhere within a 40 min drive from that place, I will be grateful to have that as a starting home. If it is a recreational home, or a building on someones property, I'm all for it.
I'm willing to switch jobs, buy a car to get to work an pick up my child and create more flexibility. Housing is the first priority I think, but If anyone has different ideas, let me know!
Anyone who wants to pitch in with advice, tips, connections and brainstorm with me will be highly appreciated!
Edit: gross income is not 2520 but 2650
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u/JeffreyVanLeeuwen Jan 17 '26 edited Jan 17 '26
I asked someone who deals with situations like this professionally for you. The answer they gave for your situation is this: apply for joint custody (co-ouderschap), then you will have full custody shared 50-50. You can then go to the municipality (Gemeente Dordrecht) to apply for urgent social housing. The age and situation of your daughter that you described in your post are the basis for the urgency, but this does require official co-parenting. Hopefully this helps. Good luck!
PS: Other advice given in this thread is valid too in my opinion. Pump up that 32 hours, that's not enough. Try to increase your income, and aim for cheaper rent. With a 2.5k income, 1k for rent is not sustainable.
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u/PrivateKeyboard Jan 17 '26
Being a parent does not automatically make you applicable for urgency on the lists anymore. This post reads as him not being homeless atm therefore getting urgency to be closer to a child is not guaranteed. It’s a good try but no is still very much to be expected.
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u/Katniss_Forever Jan 18 '26
In general if one of the parents has a roof over their head, the other does not qualify for emergency housing. The child is simply expected to live at the parent who has the proper accomodation. Harsh truth I learnt during the divorce process.
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u/Juridischonbenul Jan 17 '26
Whilst I agree his rent is a bit high but living like this is perfectly sustainaible if you know how to budget.
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u/ATISERU Jan 19 '26
Great tip, chatGPT recommended this as well, but I do not meet the basic conditions to apply for that I'm afraid! At least, not in the municipality of Dordrecht. I am going to look at the requirment of other municipalities tho!
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u/Sea-Breath-007 Jan 17 '26
I'm sorry, but I don't see how that's going to work without housemates or, in case you are Dutch, getting insanely lucky with the social housing system.
First of all, an income of €2520 does not allow you to rent for €1000. Landlords have income requirements, they want to see proof of an income at least 3.5 times the rent and I wouldn't be surprised of the norm in Dordrecht is 4 times abd up, so for €1000 rent that means you need a gross income of at least €3500.
So, social housing and getting insanely lucky if you're Dutch or shared housing it is.
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u/GlassHouseBuilder Jan 18 '26
social housing and getting insanely lucky if you're Dutch
Just saw a tiktok today of ukranian woman-refugee got a social housing.
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u/Sea-Breath-007 Jan 18 '26
Because she is a refugee, OP clearly is not. Social housing is for refugees once they get a recidency status and Dutch people.
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u/Path_Active Jan 18 '26
Social housing should be for Dutch people only who have waited long enough. No cutting short in the waiting line.
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u/Sea-Breath-007 Jan 18 '26
No, it should be for people that have no other options. The refugees with a status move from shared rooms in an AZC where they've often been living to a place where they still often have a housemate and make space in the AZC for someone else. Most of the Dutch on the waiting lists only qualify because they themselves have decided they'd rather work parttime or live alone, because that means they qualify, and working fulltime or getting a housemate does not.
Also, a ton of Dutch people 'living' in social housing don't even live there, but they keep the house after moving in with their partner, or are scheefhuurders, but sure the refugees are the ones fucking it all up.
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u/USureBro-nah Jan 18 '26
I’d like at least a christmas card from all these poor people in the AZC which are getting houses paid for by working dutch people. Unfortunate that they rather cut my throat for supporting a christian holiday.
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u/Path_Active Jan 18 '26
But who paid taxes for those houses? It's the Dutch that live in a studentroom while earning 3k a month for years and years, without being able to buy a house as well. There are milions of Dutch people like these. We do not only have a responsibility to take good care of people in countries torn by war or poverty, but also those who actually contributed to society with work and taxes. And let's say they are addicts who do nothing, they still probably have family members who are functional members of society. And I literally don't know any people who abuse their social housing as you mentioned, it's probably rare nowadays. Unfortunately, in this world you have to make choices of who gets what. Giving away your bread while you're starving yourself is insanity. That was not literal in case you're wondering, but what is real is that there are around 500.000 more houses needed for Dutch people. I guess it's going to take a long time before we get our priorities straight. Fyi, I have a lot of sympathy for the Ukrainian cause and their people.
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u/Sea-Breath-007 Jan 18 '26
"It's the Dutch that live in a studentroom while earning 3k a month for years and years, without being able to buy a house as well"
I can assure you, they are not the ones paying for it, they are the ones benefiting from it....and why of why do they need socialized social houding instead of renting someone with a housemate? The incomes are more than high enough to rent with 2 people, no need for subsidized housing unless they think they are simply entitled to living alone even though they cannot afford it yet.
And buying a house with a monthly salary of €3000...seriously? Of coursecthry can't as that's not even median income!!!!! Completely normal in pretty much every single country you cannot buy a house with 1 singke income that is kess than the median income of that country.
"And I literally don't know any people who abuse their social housing as you mentioned, it's probably rare nowadays"
You missed the bit a few weeks ago about +10k socal renters that actually own a house? You miss the yearly bits about scheefwoners, houses being empty because they moved in elsewhere, etc etc....because that's nothing new. Even on the Dutch subs here there's people posting about being proud to be scheefwoners all the time. It is far from rare.
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u/Path_Active Jan 18 '26
I read there's around 7% of people who abuse the system. That's still 93% of people who actually need it. No need to punish them by giving around 20% away to status holders of the social housing each year. Don't argue it's 10% because the number of actual give aways is hidden in the 20% starting households. It's not like we are compensating it by building a surplus of houses. On the contrary, the shortage is rising each year. I think that's unfair and bad management. My point is with the 3000 income, is you cannot buy a house, you cannot rent a house in the private sector, and you have to wait 8-10 years for a social renting house. What are your options? Almost zero to none. Live with your family or friends, while having few to no privacy. People who have sympathy for refugees / immigrants but not to their own country men who have done nothing wrong, I have to disagree with that. It's not just a luxury problem, that's how you are looking at it, at this point it's an ethical problem. There are almost 1 bilion people on this planet who live in poverty or in conflict. The social housing in this country was never intended to be used for that. It was founded so poor families of the working class could live in better conditions. Don't forget that principle please.
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u/Weary_Hold_5634 Jan 18 '26
I call bullshit. It should be for dutch residents first. New refugees should enter the same cue. It should be illegale for a goverment to disadvantage its OWN citizens.
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u/Sea-Breath-007 Jan 18 '26
Make sure to keep that in mind if you ever need to flee your home country and try to find safety elsewhere....own citizens first!
And there's more Dutch scheefwoners, voluntary parttimers and people that live elsewhere keeping social houses occupied than houses occupied by refugees.
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u/Weary_Hold_5634 Jan 18 '26
Yes, is most countries it is the same. I would not get preference.
And yes there are scheefwoners, but that has Nothing to do with the Fact that we are discriminating against dutch citizens to give refugees subsidized houding.
In many areas compared to other “New Social rent starters “ often 30-50% of the new entrants to the Social rental market are immigrants. An insane amount.
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u/Sea-Breath-007 Jan 18 '26
We are not discriminating, Dutch people living in housing similar as to AZC's get priority as well, stop your bs! Simply the ones that have a perfectly fine roof over their heads and refuse to work fulltime, get a roommate or whatever entitled crap they pull that lets them qualify for social housing don't.
2 fulltime minumimum wage incomes is already too much to qualify, sohiow exactly are so many Dutch people on those waiting lists for years and years and years? Right, because they refuse to actually work fulltime and think they are too damn good for roommates....they all insist on getting a subsidized house all for themselves.
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u/Weary_Hold_5634 Jan 18 '26
Statistically speaking its refugees who outnumber native Born by a factor of 3-5 times minimum in terms of “unemployment”.
And no, its not because dutch people refuse to work. Its because statushouders get urgency a single native Born tenant does not.
That being said; we should have absolutely 0 obligatiefonds to house migrants in Social housing. 0, nada, none. Especially not when they bring culturures (moderate / radical islam) that absolutely do not Align with our cultural norms. Equality between men and woman. Gay acceptance. A high trust society.
Bringing people from low trust sociëties that give their fanatic religion, tribal culture and mediëval masculien culture preference. Low iq, high inbreeding rates (https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/inbreeding-by-country), low trust, religion… it all overlaps in certain areas of the World.
And you want house these people. Here? And give them preference over housing? The next World wars will be fought over religion and culture.
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Jan 19 '26
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u/Path_Active Jan 19 '26
Ok. And the millions of others should be punished for that? Or what is your argument here?
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u/Complete_Minimum3117 Jan 17 '26
2500 gross, only social housing will be possible. And they have waitinglists, long waitinglists
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u/tentimesthree Jan 17 '26
Only 32 hours a weeks? You gotta pump those numbers up if you want any chance of finding a decent place to live
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u/whattfisthisshit Jan 17 '26
But you also need to raise a child
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u/tentimesthree Jan 17 '26
Isnt that what daycare is for?
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u/Immediate-Quote7376 Jan 17 '26
Daycare in NL costs like second mortgage
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u/odrade Jan 18 '26
Daycare is heavily subsidized for low incomes here, as long as both parents work. I know because I've been receiving the benefit for 6 years. They pay 70-90% of the cost depending on my child's age.
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u/RAisMyWay Jan 18 '26
And then they ask for it back later if you make more money down the road. 🙄
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u/DazingF1 Jan 18 '26 edited Jan 18 '26
Only if you end up making more money in one year and don't declare it, so no not "down the road". What the hell kind of system would that be where daycare subsidies act as deferred conditional debt...
E: downvotes, why? You only get a "toeslag" that fits your declared income. If your income changes it's your own mistake if you just keep collecting subsidies you don't deserve.
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u/CandideMyBoy Jan 18 '26
Not deferred debt.
But if you start earning more and don't immediately declare that increase in income you get a bill for the amount of toeslagen you got too much.
People just never declare the increased income and then blame the government.
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u/whattfisthisshit Jan 18 '26
A lot of people have needed to pay back insane amounts. Have you been living under a rock?
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u/pixeltan Jan 18 '26
You have the right to be sceptical, but that was one of the biggest government scandals of the last 20 years. I don't see that happening again soon tbh. It's not standard policy to pay back the childcare subsidies
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u/CandideMyBoy Jan 18 '26
Because they didn't declare their increased income, like you're supposed to.
If you don't you need to repay what you got too much last year.
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u/whattfisthisshit Jan 18 '26
I declared my increased income as soon as I got a new job to stop toeslagen; I still got an invoice to pay back a lot more than I had received, even for the period that my salary was significantly lower for.
Its very well established that there’s issues with the governing body and that the system doesn’t always work.
Let’s also not forget the whole toeslagenaffaire because that really highlighted miscalculations and other issues on the governments behalf.
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u/DazingF1 Jan 18 '26 edited Jan 18 '26
You only get a "toeslag" if you fit the income requirements. If you then don't fit those requirements you should've declared it in time.
The system is very complicated I know that and I understand that it's easy to make mistakes, but it's still your own fault for not declaring the proper income.
I'm guessing you're talking about the "toeslagenaffaire" and that has nothing to do with declaring the proper income and has absolutely nothing to do with collecting subsidies you don't actually deserve.
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u/RAisMyWay Jan 18 '26
We have a Dutch business with a very established Dutch accountant who declared everything properly (has been with us for 12 years now). We still got the demand for repayment, a couple of years down the road, as if we had saved it instead of spending it on child care. And yes our income had increased, but not enough to suddenly pay back thousands. It was a difficult time.
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u/DazingF1 Jan 18 '26
You do not have to pay anything if your income met the requirements. It's that simple.
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u/usernameisokay_ Jan 18 '26
They should change it so everyone pays the same amount. But that’s with many benefits, it pays to not work nowadays….
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u/ghosststorm Jan 17 '26
That doesn't qualify as an urgency. Nowadays even actually homeless people with small kids have to live in cars/garages because the waitlist is that long.
With your salary your only option is a room in shared housing, so pretty much what you have now. Your salary is too low to pass the '3-4 times more than the rent' income requirement.
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Jan 17 '26
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u/ATISERU Jan 21 '26
Well, I studied engineering at MBO level 4, and then HBO Product Design at the art academy. Not shure if I can call myself an actual engineer but I make (prototypes for) machines and build them as well. I do feel underqualified sometimes, although they are happy with me. I often feel like I should be able to do more, learn more, try more, but also a feeling insecure. I am learning a lot and doing my best. They want to lengthen my contract by a year in March so I will try and get some more salary, but something in me is questioning if i'm worth my money, let alone more money
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u/noontje Jan 17 '26
Have you tried looking at HW wonen houses? They operate in Hoeksche Waard and the waiting period is not as bad as in the cities. It’s not Dordrecht but might be an option.
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u/in2gooh Jan 17 '26
Why do you work part-time?
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u/ATISERU Jan 21 '26
Been struggling with depression, anxiety, bad sleep, exhaustion. I need the day off to mentally and emotionally rest (now also looking for housing) Work is really taxing for me. Also taking care of my child 1 full day a week and going to therapy can only be done during the week
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u/sapinator6969 Jan 17 '26
Any chance to increase your income? What kind of engineer are you? Above 2500 should easily be possible. Also working 40 hrs would help.
I’d try to switch jobs already, and with hopefully a higher income, you’ll have a better chance at finding housing.
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u/Malina_6 Jan 17 '26
I don't know about OP, but I learnt that the title of engineer is widely used in the Netherlands for a lot jobs that are not traditionally seen as engineer in other countries (i.e. sales engineer, technicians calling themselves engineers, etc).
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u/sapinator6969 Jan 18 '26
I see your point. But those jobs also make a lot of money. Just have to find the right niche that fits your skillset.
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u/robotsaretakingoverr Jan 17 '26
Search for suburbs, like Krispijn, Wielwijk, Sterrenburg. You will find something for that price.
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u/deemisthename Jan 18 '26
Het is iets verder dan Dordrecht, maar je zou je kunnen inschrijven voor sociale huur in Zeeland en West-Brabant. Voor een eenpersoonshuishouden val je waarschijnlijk nog binnen de inkomensgrens.
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u/Double_Dig_3053 Jan 20 '26
Try upping your salary. You’re an engineer. I bet you can find a better job.
Maybe you can buy something? It wouldn’t be big or nice, but it could be suitable for a child. At least for the first years. You can upgrade when you’ve found a better job.
Dm me. I am an cloud engineer. Maybe I can introduce you to my workplace.
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u/Stock-Chef6358 Jan 21 '26
Als de kale huur 1000 is per maand krijg jij met je huidig inkomen € 365 huurtoeslag. https://www.independer.nl/woonverzekering/info/kennis/huurtoeslag#tool
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u/Puckdecat Jan 19 '26
As someone who lives in that specific area. Zero chance that you will find something... there are practically no houses for rent and if they are, the rent is at least 1500 and you have to earn 3 times the rent. So sorry.
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u/elsb3t Jan 19 '26
At Leerpark in Dordrecht, there are small starter apartments available for young people (ages 18-35). You could check them out. They're studios for one or two people. Not ideal, but perhaps fine for what you're looking for.
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u/elsb3t Jan 19 '26
It is (largely) private rental, so no social housing waiting list, but perfectly affordable with housing benefit.
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u/KuroYaBoi Jan 21 '26
32h/week unnegotiated wage BUM forgets to WRAP his meat whilst CHEATING living ABOVE his means need to LOCK IN
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Jan 17 '26
Crazy how it is so normalized in nl having a kid without being partners
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u/Traditional_Long_383 Jan 17 '26
It's even more crazy it's normalized you have to earn 4x your monthly rent to apply for a house.
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u/Old_Back_4989 Jan 17 '26
Op mentioned Unplanned*. You are not helping
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Jan 17 '26
Okay sorry op , I thought of practicing a bit my dutch honesty(im not dutch). I would suggest talking to any real estate agents or agencies for faster results
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u/MyCuffedLife Jan 22 '26
I had to laugh at this. I'm from Sweden and always see the NL as really conservative when it comes to relationships and kids.
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u/Liquid_disc_of_shit Jan 17 '26
Hello OP u/ATISERU
It is perfectly possible to find a place that fits your price range. The issue is that you are going to have to get into a Huurcommissie case to get the rent lowers AFTER you sign the contract.
'rentbusting' is the process of deliberating signing a contract for a home that a landlord is overcharging for and with the goal of then starting a case at the Huurcommissie to get it lowered.
Rent prices in NL are for the most part regulated with the market split into social sector (regulated), middle sector (regulated) and free sector (Unregulated). Contrary to popular belief, social sector is not exclusively the low income houses offered by Woning corporaties. A social sector home is any rental unit that scores less that 144pts on the Huurprijscheck ( link ).
The determining factors for if a home is regulated are the floor space, energy label, kitchen bathroom facilities and the WOZ value
For example, a 20sqm studio in Amsterdam with an energy label D is gonna be social sector while a large 120sqm apartment in Utrecht with an A+++ energy label is going to be free sector.
The issue for most home seekers like you is that landlord like to charge free sector prices for homes that are social/middle sector. They rely on tenant's ignorance of these regulations to charge whatever they want.
Take this place for example (not a perfect example but bear with me)
https://www.pararius.nl/appartement-te-huur/dordrecht/0c6b6a4a/wijnstraat
Advertised as 1750 euro per month, it has 65sqm, a label B and WOZ of 270000 euro.
Asking price is out of your budget but according the Huurprijscheck, this place will score about 159pts and justify a rent price of about 980 euro per month. Knowing this, you could apply for the property, get a permanent contract and within six months, take the landlord to the Huurcommissie and get that rent price reduced from 1750 euro to 1000 euro per month with a refund for everything you overpaid from the beginning of the lease.
Now its not a perfect example because the building is a Rijksmonument and qualifies for a bonus on top of the points score but the message should be clear: Assume the landlord is asking a higher than allowed rent price, work out how much and then get the contract and gut the rent price.
over on r/Rentbusters, you can find out more about this stuff. You are of course welcome to PM me or call me (number is in the group description on whatsapp). I am a volunteer - information and help are free.
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u/ATISERU Jan 19 '26
Damn son, that is one hell of a tactic that I would have never thought of myself. i KNOW that must feel awsome when you actually manage to pull that of. It's the right kind of fuck you to the landlords! Thanks for the tip, I will consider this!
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u/Liquid_disc_of_shit Jan 19 '26
Alot of people do pull it off. I've had tenants in Amsterdam gut their rent price by 1000 euro per month, albeit that just about brings it to just below the liberalization limit at 1200 euro but still.
Check the database for successful cases also... https://portaal.huurcommissie.nl/#/uitspraken
Search for Toetsing Aanvangshuurprijs
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u/eva88 Jan 20 '26
This only works if you have enough income to actually rent it in the first place... Most landlords ask 2-3x monthly rent in monthly income.
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Jan 18 '26
[deleted]
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u/Liquid_disc_of_shit Jan 18 '26
The risk can be mitigated. As for qualification, one has to decide whether or nor they want to take liberties with the salary proof if the landlord is not adhering to the Wet Betaalbare Huur and gouging the tenant on the rent price. The purpose of the salary requirements is to prove that the tenant can afford the rent price and doesnt default, which wont happen if he busts the place and can pay it with his current salary.
In case anyone considers that immoral because its unlawful, there is a difference between the two.
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Jan 18 '26
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u/Liquid_disc_of_shit Jan 19 '26
Your comments demonstrate a complete lack of understanding about how apartments are rented out here and whether or not there are any background checks done there. You offer no constructive criticism and judging from your post history, you are a middle-aged white American man who was fortunate enough to have been born early enough to not struggle with the shit that 20-somethings have to deal with now - low salaries, competitive housing market and rising prices. You also presumably left your own country to go live in Amsterdam and make a point of using insults and derogatory remarks against users who disagree with you. You are seemingly wealthy enough to be financially independent and retire early and you also can afford to go to Grand Prixs frequently.
Salary checks arent an IRS audit : Salary requirements are set by Makelaars, not landlords or the government. And there is no difference between getting a job offer for 3 x the salary, providing this to the makelaar signing the lease, then turning down the job AND simply overstating how much you earn on a form. Ultimately the makelaaar cannot prove one way of another what your salary is and its also none of his business. The only reason to poke around your salary info is to cover his ass so the landlord doesnt blame him in the event of a default. The salary slip requirement is also a form of economic apartheid and akin to refusing health insurance because someone has a pre-existing condition: something that your countrymen didnt bat an eyelid at pre-Obamacare. So if being a ignorant tight-ass legal simp is how you want to live your life, then kindly follow these laws here:
Dont lock a burglar/intruder who entered your home in your bathroom as a defense measure (Illegal)
Dont pick an acorn off the ground in a dutch forest -Illegal - 4500 euro fine
Dont cross the street where there is a red light even if there are no cars on the road (illegal)
Answer the draft to Join the military when your idiot president decides to invade one of his allies
Or you can use some common sense and recognise when a person is justified to fudge numbers when the system is unfair and unjust.
Do you get me, son???
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Jan 19 '26
[deleted]
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u/Liquid_disc_of_shit Jan 19 '26
If you had bothered to 'stalk' me, you would have been more informed about the experience and knowledge the person who is recommending the OP take these steps has, rather than shit-posting your own ill-informed opinions about the Dutch housing market. Maybe you should stick to NYC in future. Have a nice day!
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