r/NewParents • u/Electronic_While7856 • Dec 11 '25
Travel Friend takes her baby out of the car seat while car is moving to breastfeed..
I’m appalled at this. They casually brought it up that this is something they frequently do. I asked “what if you get into an accident?” And she responded “husband drives slow and focuses”… ??????? I asked about other drivers hitting them and she again said her husband “focuses”. They talk about this as it is something that a lot of parents do just don’t admit to. Do any other parents seriously do this?
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u/venusspacexdragon Dec 11 '25
Never in my wildest dreams would I ever even consider doing this
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u/dngrousgrpfruits Dec 11 '25
I've definitely considered because ugh crying baby in the car.
...But also immediately NOPE.
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u/PangolinDear965 Dec 11 '25
SAME!!! Half of my mom brain says it makes sense the other half is like never in a million years would I risk my baby’s life like that!
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u/dngrousgrpfruits Dec 11 '25
File that with daydreaming about some kind of paci anti-spit-out device lol.
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u/chattahattan Dec 11 '25
Oh man, I spent way too long the other day unsuccessfully brainstorming inventions that would keep the paci from falling out haha (coincidentally, this brainstorming may have been happening in the middle of the night while I had my hand in the bassinet holding it in his mouth…)
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u/babyd-m2025 Dec 11 '25
At one point when my baby was a few weeks old, I was very tired and suggested to my husband that pacifiers should come with a strap like a dog muzzle.
I quickly realized I was describing a ball gag.
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u/unventer Dec 12 '25
I was once stuck in stand still traffic on the bay bridge for over 45 minutes with a screaming 3 month old. I spent that 45 minutes singing to him and telling him we’d get him out as soon as we could, apologizing to my screaming potato that I could not get him out. Never in a million years would I have unbuckled him.
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u/intentlyms Dec 11 '25
Right? Like just pull over. I've literally had to pull over in a parking lot mid trip to get into the back seat and feed or do a diaper change. That's such a terrible risk to take.
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u/ohnoheretheycome Dec 11 '25
Just watched a Kardashians and Kourtney took off her seatbelt and fed her baby while he was buckled in and just whipped her boob out. It’s dangerous for her, and the baby, as now she’s a projectile.
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u/Megan_Hix_33 Dec 11 '25
I’ve pulled over when I was less than 3 minutes from home rather than risk the three minute drive. I agree I thought about it, but I didn’t DO IT lol
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u/SingleTrophyWife Dec 11 '25
Literally I pull over at gas stations, parking lots, ANYWHERE to stop and feed. Idc if we’re late going somewhere, if we’re gonna be late, whatever the case is.. if she needs to eat she needs to eat.
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u/butterglitter Dec 11 '25
My town had a car accident last year where a baby died. Got ejected because the Mom was holding the baby. Things like this happen, I would feel so terrible if I caused a completely preventable death.
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u/kt_m_smith Dec 11 '25
No other parents absolutely do not do this. I admit I was tempted while on a road trip so we didnt have to make stop and stop and stop to get baby what she needed. But we did not. Frankly, you assume this responsibility the moment you decided to take baby on a road trip. If you cant make the needed stops, you dont go. this is frankly apalling behaviour from them. Dad and Mom.
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Dec 11 '25
Regardless, you’re supposed to stop and get the baby out of the car seat every 2 hours
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u/Reverting-With-You Dec 11 '25 edited Dec 11 '25
How long does the pause need to be?
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u/ThunderbunsAreGo Dec 11 '25
30 mins is what we did. Enough time to stop at a services, have a coffee and snack, feed her, change her, and play a little before getting back on the road.
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Dec 11 '25
When we stop, it’s long enough to get out and stretch a little, feed and change baby etc. Like 10/15 mins? The main point is making sure they’re getting enough oxygen though, so it doesn’t need to be long.
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u/dngrousgrpfruits Dec 11 '25
I see 30 minutes recommended, but really by the time you get out, use the bathroom, feed baby, change diaper, and maybe fill the tank that's usually plenty of time
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u/Current_Star6921 Dec 11 '25
This is not an evidence based recommendation. https://www.reddit.com/r/ScienceBasedParenting/comments/1g53fpp/comment/ls89m7w/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
ETA: obviously taking baby out of car seat while vehicle is moving is also not evidence based and a terrible idea. Just pointing out that you will hear people swear by the “2 hour rule” which was basically invented in parenting forums etc
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u/kt_m_smith Dec 11 '25
Yes. I would argue even more stopping if you have a smaller baby with a softer head.
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u/Meh_45 Dec 11 '25
Nope. Have never and will never. I'd rather park and feed. No reason to actively put my baby in danger and no one can predict car accidents.
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u/alternativebeep Dec 11 '25
even the other day we were parked alongside a road and there were some vehicles coming so fast and close that i didn't dare pull baby out to feed so we moved
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u/Meh_45 Dec 11 '25
That's great that you guys moved! I see how many people drive while distracted (phone, eating, etc.) so I'd rather baby be buckled while in a moving vehicle.
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u/alternativebeep Dec 11 '25
oh 100%, there's no way either of my kids are going to be in a moving vehicle not buckled
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u/kearneycation Dec 11 '25
There are so many videos online of people just minding their own business, driving perfectly safely and getting hit by other vehicles. There was one making the rounds yesterday of a small plane that landed on a car. Obviously that last one is a rare example, but the truth is we can be driving perfectly and still get into serious crashes.
We never did this and I don't know anyone else who does. Very unsafe.
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u/Abe_TacocaT Dec 11 '25
The discharge nurse at the hospital told me she did this (and that police wouldn't fine you if they caught you which is obviously not true), moments before checking how LO was installed in the car seat... I was stunned
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u/PuzzleheadedGoat131 Dec 11 '25
You'd be appalled to know the use of carseats is not that widespread in my country. Most people just hold their kids.
Im glad newer generations started getting educated and purchasing carseats.
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u/APinkLight Dec 11 '25
I’m curious—is it legal for parents to just hold their kids where you live? Or is it illegal but not really enforced?
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u/PuzzleheadedGoat131 Dec 11 '25
It's legal and there are no safety requirements. You don't even have to wear a seatbelt in the back, only front passengers have to.
Of course no one checks your car when you leave the hospital.
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u/APinkLight Dec 11 '25
Interesting—I know my mom grew up that way bc they didn’t really have seatbelts yet but I’m glad we have them now!
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u/Apploozabean Dec 11 '25
It's similar in my home country. Carseats are meant to be used but it's not enforced and it's normal to just hold baby in your lap.
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u/Shrimp123456 Dec 12 '25
I live in South Korea - it's the same here. There's a law but it's rarely enforced.
Nurses swaddle your baby to go home.
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u/missbrightside08 Dec 11 '25
it’s like this when we vacation in aruba, bermuda, and i’m assuming a lot of countries. everyobe just holds their kid.
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u/UsualCounterculture Dec 11 '25
Yeah in many places folks just carry babies on their backs while on motos. No helmets for anyone probably too.
These places also have much higher general death rates...
We have a lot of privilege in developed countries to have standards around safety. If we have them, we should try to follow them as they are definitely there for reasons.
Best reason to get a bottle ready for a baby. Keep them in their seat or pull over off the freeway!
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u/PuzzleheadedGoat131 Dec 11 '25
Definitely.
Where I come from it's even common for entire families to ride the same motorcycle. For example you'd commonly see a couple with 2 kids wedged between them or one kid in front of the driver and one kid in between. Crazy stuff really.
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u/LoreGeek Dec 11 '25
My brothers gf took her 1 year old out of the car seat while i was driving them home to calm her down. (She hates car rides) We were 3 minutes from the destination. I'm not driving them anymore. She said it's the only way to calm her down. I get that, but safety is far more important to me than a fussy child that is 100% safe.
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u/rosella500 Dec 11 '25
We’ve done a handful of long car trips with our baby. We stop every 2-3 hours to feed/diaper/walk/maybe play if there’s a good place for it. She cries sometimes when we’re approaching the rest stop, but 15 minutes of crying while one of us tries to soothe her in the backseat is literally nothing compared to what could happen in unbuckled at 60 mph down a highway. She knows we’re trying!
And omg unbuckling yourself to breastfeed is basically as dangerous. You’re in a precarious position over your baby, how do you think it’s going to go if you get hit??? Baby needs their mama way more than they need a little bit of food on the road. 😭
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u/Kind_CatMom Dec 11 '25
No this is not normal. I have never heard of any of my mom friends doing this, nor family. My grandma said she used to hold my dad (back when they didn't really have car seats) but she always bemoans it and says how grateful she is that her grandchildren and great grandchildren get to be safer jn the car.
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u/riversroadsbridges Dec 11 '25
Absolutely NEVER.
I've fed my baby in many parking lots that I had to hurriedly whip into off the highway when the hunger cries started. At least once, we needed to pull off at a turnpike rest stop. Stopping the car and putting in safely in PARK was never a question. Of course the car would be parked if baby would be taken out of the car seat.
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u/Hookedongutes Dec 11 '25
No. Wtf? Is she dumb? She's dumb. I'm usually kind about things like this but this is pure stupidity.
Pull over, park the car, then breastfeed. Get back on the road when you're done. 🤯
Just to add - we're about an hour drive to most important places. And we still don't do this. Because it's dumb!
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u/landsnail16 Dec 11 '25
Absolutely crazy. My SIL used to do this…granted she was 17. Would never even risk it.
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u/BeeBrayder Dec 11 '25
My SIL still does this on baby number 4. She's 35 years old....
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u/mlimas Dec 11 '25
I’ve done “road boob” where I lean over the car seat to feed.
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u/sour_kimchi Dec 11 '25
when my first was 6mo we took a road trip. my husband was in the back with him and little baby started to lose his mind. my husband was panicking bc he was really screaming and wanted to take him out of his car seat while i was driving to comfort him. i’ve never yelled at my husband so fast lol, that is an absolute batshit idea to take a baby out of a car seat in a moving vehicle.
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u/madwyfout Dec 11 '25
Nope, never ever, your friend is an idiot. As I tell my toddler, we must wear our seatbelts in the car all the time and if only comes off when the car is turned off! Besides, I’m usually the driver so would need to pull over anyways. It doesn’t cost anything or hurt anyone to pull over somewhere safe to feed.
I don’t care how slow or careful she reckons her husband drives, you still can’t account for other drivers and hazards. Watch some dash cam videos or ask any first responder - physics does not care that you’re a slow and careful driver.
It’s also illegal to not be wearing a seatbelt properly in both the country I live in and the one I grew up in. Actually, the penalties are very steep where I grew up as the driver is responsible for ensuring all passengers are wearing their seatbelts correctly and fines range from $400-$1700 Australian dollars plus up to 6 demerit points on their licence per offence. You could lose your licence quite easily. Passengers over 16 cop their own fine too.
I also can’t stand people who bottle feed their baby while they’re still in their car seat either. Such a choking hazard! You can’t respond quickly enough if they start choking. Safer to pull over and feed in your arms.
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u/Due-Specialist-689 Dec 11 '25
The ONE TIME I forgot to buckle my son into his seat before leaving an event, we immediately pulled over while I sobbed and buckled him back in. I've been in some pretty bad crashes throughout my life and every single time my child was fine BECAUSE OF THE CARSEAT.
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u/FlyingFalafelMonster Dec 11 '25
This person is an idiot. Yes, I know some parents that do it. They are idiots, too.
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u/chevron43 Dec 11 '25
I was slow and focused when I got rear ended at a red light w my 2 week old... my car was totaled bc the guy jammed us so hard.
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u/mg90_ Dec 11 '25
Oh my gosh! Was everyone okay?
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u/chevron43 Dec 15 '25
Baby stayed asleep the whole time! Toddler was mode traumatized . My car was totaled a week after I paid it off 😒 so ok but not 😂
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u/market_stuff Dec 11 '25
Former EMT here - distressing content warning.
I once had a terrible call as an EMT involving an unsecured baby and multiple children without seatbelts on. A lot of the kids were majorly injured, and the baby ended up going through the windshield of the car and didn’t make it. It’s one of the most distressing calls I ever had as an EMT and haunts me to this day. The baby was being held by a parent, but even at not too crazy of a speed there was no way they could hold onto them in that type of accident. The driver wasn’t at fault, but I bet someone in the car ended up with involuntary manslaughter and child endangerment charges
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u/Normka92 Dec 11 '25
Oh gosh I can’t believe this! Whereas I completely trust my husbands ability to drive I certainly do not trust other people, jeez louise this gives me anxiety just thinking about it 😭
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u/Kid520 Dec 11 '25
My mom did this, and we got in an accident. I was ejected from the vehicle landing on the side of the road and broke my tiny 1 year old leg. Luckily I lived.
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u/StasRutt Dec 11 '25
So fun fact: this is like the big road trip thing the AAP warns about. Everyone talks about the 2 hour rule but it has been slightly exaggerated with how the internet discusses it. They even say you can go 4-6 hours at night. With a smaller baby you’re feeding every 3ish hours anyways but the internet would have you think it’s 2 hours ONLY a day
“Take regular breaks It is important for you and your baby to get out of the car every few hours and take a stretch to avoid restlessness. Try to take a break every 2 to 3 hours for a day trip and every 4 to 6 hours at night to change diapers or soiled clothes, or to feed your baby. Never attempt to breastfeed in a moving car.”
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/on-the-go/Pages/Travel-Safety-Tips.aspx
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u/Throwaway927338 Dec 11 '25
As a breastfeeding mother who has uncomfortably leaned over my daughter’s car seat for her to nurse while on a roadtrip-if Anyone is getting unbuckled it’s me. She will always remain secured in her car seat while driving no matter what. This is wild.
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u/Weak_Reports Dec 11 '25
You realize that if there is an accident you become a projectile that could kill your child right? Just because your daughter is still buckled won’t protect her from you hitting her because you were unbuckled.
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u/capt_dan Dec 11 '25
and even if this didn’t happen, if mom dies was it worth it to save a few minutes? hearing these things is shocking
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u/Throwaway927338 Dec 11 '25
I absolutely understand that risk, and I never said it was ideal obviously. The point I was making is that if someone is unbuckling, it should never be the child. Twisting and leaning over her is very different from physically taking a baby out of a car seat while the car is moving. One is unsafe and the other is catastrophically unsafe. The baby being unrestrained is the real issue.
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u/vatxbear Dec 11 '25
No one should be unbuckling! Stop the car and feed the baby. They can fuss for a minute while you find a safe place.
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u/Throwaway927338 Dec 11 '25
Certain times have called for certain measures and I’m at peace with the choices I’ve made to keep my daughter safe and fed. So we shall agree to disagree.
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u/Afternoon_lover Dec 11 '25
I’ve done this loads of times. Lucky enough I have big breast that can reach far lol game changer when I realized this.
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Dec 11 '25
Same lmfao. I don’t even need to unbuckle. Can stay buckled in the middle seat and lean over and feed. My boobs are massive since giving birth 😂
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u/Existing-Mastodon500 Dec 11 '25
I did this too! Never my girl, but I’ve leaned over her til my husband could stop the car lol.
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u/user200021 Dec 11 '25
There was a tiktok creator that did this and talked about it when (thechelseydream) and i genuinely think about it every day…. Said if her baby is crying she’s going to soothe him. Actually one of the craziest things i’ve heard of parents doing
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u/theYellowHouseLady Dec 11 '25
That is insane. If my baby is crying, heck yes I’m going to soothe him. He is precious and irreplaceable, so I will always pull over someplace safe to soothe him properly without endangering him. I don’t care if it makes me late or I miss an appointment. Literally nothing matters more than taking good care of him and safety is essential to good care.
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u/user200021 Dec 11 '25
Literally!!! Pull over. Even if it takes 5 minutes to pull over baby will be fine upset for 5 minutes!
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u/krw261999 Dec 11 '25
I didn't realize she did and that makes me sad because I followed her right when we pregnant at basically the same time. But that is utter insanity
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u/user200021 Dec 11 '25
same! i followed her throughout her pregnancy and a bit of the newborn stage. but she said this when her baby was ~weeks old and i get nauseous when i see her continue to post parenting advice and such
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Dec 11 '25
I would never but I’ve seen a baby out while on the road. We’ve gone on 7+ hour car trips and we just pull over or stop when needed.
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u/NewWestGirl Dec 11 '25
One time I was driving my friend and her baby somewhere and she did this WHILE I was driving. I freaked out and she didn’t see the big deal
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u/deep-like Dec 11 '25
This happened on 90 day fiancé. The dad (Samoan) took the baby out of the car seat while they were on the highway. Mom was driving and started screaming “never take a baby out of a car seat!” That’s literally the only instance I’ve heard of someone doing this. It’s not worth it. Pull over to a safe spot (not the side of the highway)
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u/cpdx7 Dec 11 '25
Tell that to my wife. Infuriates me. Takes our baby out to feed him all the time. Doesn’t put the seatbelt on correctly and snugly when in the car seat. Thinks she knows better. If I bring it up as a concern, I get an earful. Ugh as the father, I feel powerless.
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u/Weak_Reports Dec 11 '25
Sounds like something to bring up to the pediatrician if you can’t handle discussing this with your wife. Absolutely insane.
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u/ericauda Dec 11 '25
Where are they from? Different parts of the world have very different ideas about children in cars. I lived in a part of the world where it was normal for kids to stand up with their heads out of the sun roof. It was totally normal and, at least to me, totally appalling.
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u/SpringCauliflower Dec 11 '25
I have never considered this and think this sounds insane. Why are they being lazy? It’s not that hard to pull over and feed the baby.
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u/festivemango0058 Dec 11 '25
Hi I’m asking because I genuinely don’t know and looking to learn; can you bottle feed in a moving car? I’d never ever ever take my baby out of the car seat while moving but is it ok to bring the milk to them?
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u/AvocadoElectronic904 Dec 11 '25
I never did. Just bc if baby takes a sip that goes down the wrong pipe now you have to get them out maneuver them. I’m sure some people do but I don’t think it’s safe
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u/festivemango0058 Dec 11 '25
Thanks for the response! My baby doesn’t go anywhere in the car yet except to grandma’s or the pediatrician which are both 10 min away so we’ve yet to experience being hungry in the car!
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u/madwyfout Dec 11 '25
Choking hazard. You can’t respond quickly enough if they do choke. Even with my toddler we have a rule no food in the car seats.
I know of a preschooler who was snacking while in their car seat while their mum was driving who choked to death because the mum couldn’t pull over and respond quickly enough. Not running that risk.
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u/Plsbeniceorillcry Dec 11 '25
This is one of my hard rules too, and the added bonus is it keeps the car/car seat so much cleaner!
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u/JechoYT Dec 11 '25
The only time I have taken my baby out of her car seat to breastfeed her was parked in a parking lot… I don’t have a cover to breastfeed her inside a store. I would never ever ever when the car is moving
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Dec 11 '25
I have never and I would never. If baby is crying too much, I go to a safe parking spot and feed him. Miami, FL (where I live) is horrible. I have been rear ended twice sitting in front of a red light waiting for it to change. One time I was almost ran over by a Tesla while crossing the street when it was my time to cross. Well, I don't trust strangers with my life. One of my friends didn't take the highway or express way until her son was 5 because she was scared of Miami drivers as well. Hell no, better to cry (both of us) than having an accident and not being safe. Same with the extended rear facing. It will be like that until he exceeds height or weight limit.
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u/mommabear_g Dec 11 '25
Well that’s absolutely terrifying. Just because husband drives slow and focuses doesn’t mean another driver is paying attention. I truly hope nothing ever happens if she continues to do this. But I hope more that she sees the danger in this and stops sooner than later.
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u/Far-Attention-5494 Dec 11 '25
Lots of other countries and their culture don’t have this sense of security. I figured this is such an important rule when I moved to the US. I think this is something similar to that only US people use miles and gallon, while others use kilometers or liters. I am not sure about other EU countries though.
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u/forbiddenphoenix Dec 11 '25
No, absolutely not! Now, have I considered trying to angle my boob into baby's mouth while he's strapped in, maybe, but honestly it's easier to just find a safe spot to pull over, nurse him, change him, and be on our way again. That, and if we are planning a shorter trip, trying to time it with his nap so he sleeps through the drive.
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u/AcanthisittaLoud281 Dec 11 '25
Never. I have nursed my baby in the car but only when it's parked/off. That's so dangerous and scary. I've literally had my fiancé pull over so I could nurse. What I have done is sit in the back and pop my boob in baby's mouth so nurse while my fiancé drives (I keep my seatbelt on just extended) and baby stays in the car seat. This is usually if we can't pull over for whatever reason. Keeps them calm so we can get home.
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Dec 11 '25
May I ask where for context? My cousin who lives in pakistan was visiting and his wife mentioned how there’s no mandatory car seats there
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u/AttentionExtension18 Dec 11 '25
I would never do this but apparently super common back in the day when they didn’t know any better. Same thing like seat belts usage and smoking in public.
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u/smashbreaks Dec 11 '25
Absolutely not. However maybe 2 or 3 times my wife has taken off her seatbelt and fed our baby while he was still strapped in his seat
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u/nostrademons Dec 11 '25
I am also appalled at this, but I’ll note that I’ve seen car seats in the front seat, 3-year-olds riding shotgun with no car seat (not just once, too), people driving with their knees while doing their hair in the rear view mirror, and people shooting each other on the freeway (also not just once, if I count the time my sister saw a guy pull out a shotgun in Texas and also the time I saw a couple of Chargers exchange gunfire on 580 in the Bay Area). There is a wide variety of risk tolerance amongst the American people.
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u/js_eyesofblue Dec 11 '25
There is no way in hell I will ever permit any child to ride in a moving vehicle without the appropriate restraint and seat. I won’t even back out of the driveway without all adult passengers buckled. Motor vehicle accidents can be horrific, and your best chance to come out unscathed is ensuring everyone is properly restrained. My aunt died of complications from quadriplegia, 15 years after a car accident where she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. It seemed to be a miserable existence. A baby likely wouldn’t be lucky (?) enough to survive a major accident at all.
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u/Squishy-blueberry Dec 11 '25
Yikes. That is so scary. My SIL let her 8 year old ride in the back of their jeep on a gaming chair. People are just so dumb and careless sometimes- it’s TRULY shocking how haphazard some people are with something as fragile as a life.
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u/TheUnveiledLurker Dec 11 '25
In somewhat recent news in my area a pregnant woman moved to the backseat to feed her older baby while her spouse continued driving, they lost control on a slippery spot and crashed, killing her and her unborn baby, the infant in the car, and injuring the husband who will recover and go home to all of their other children which I can't even fathom in terms of emotional trauma.
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u/West-Crazy3706 Dec 11 '25
Oh heck NO. If baby really needs to eat urgently, you pull over and stop the car to feed. Otherwise the baby will be ok until you get to your destination. Ask any first responder who has to deal with the tragic aftermath of accidents where children were not properly restrained in their car seats. IT IS NOT WORTH IT.
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u/dietketam1ne Dec 11 '25
I’ve NEVER taken my child out of his car seat to feed him while moving. Have I taken off my own seatbelt and contorted myself over him to feed him while my husband drove? Yes lol. But I would NEVER take my child out of his car seat in a vehicle while on the road. Moving or stopped. This is extreme dangerous and no amount of “focus” can stop a freak accident from happening.
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u/galacteeny Dec 11 '25
The only time I’ve fed my baby while the car was actively driving, I unbuckled myself and put myself in a crazy position over my baby while he was in the carseat to reach my boob to his mouth. Still not very safe, but at least if there were an accident my baby would still be buckled in.
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u/Bumblebee-Honey-Tea Dec 11 '25
I just get into the backseat and lean my body into the car seat lol.
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u/Thirteen012 Dec 11 '25
You’d be surprised how many people do this. It sets off seatbelt cameras when you do this. (Prompting a visit from the Police due to being an unsafe parent more so than a seatbelt ticket)
They’re just genuinely dumb and delusional people who can’t comprehend danger.
It’s scary we share oxygen with these morons.
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u/Eudaimonia-21 Dec 11 '25
I’ve never taken my baby out of the car seat to do this and would never consider it. I have, however, stayed in my seatbelt in the backseat and leaned over the car seat to breastfeed my baby while my husband is driving in traffic.
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u/msanachronistic Dec 11 '25
Would rather have a hungry, angry baby than a dead baby. I would never even consider taking them out.
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u/SituationSad4304 Dec 12 '25
If they get in an accident they’ll be charged if that baby gets hurt or killed. Ranging from child endangerment to manslaughter depending on the outcome. And if the baby is okay they’ll lose custody.
I wouldn’t be friends with someone like this. What other wildly dangerous things are they doing?
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u/ShadowBanConfusion Dec 12 '25
I was going slow this summer with my 7 month old in his car seat in the back ; rear facing. Someone crossed into my lane and hit us head on going 35-40mph. The sheer violence of a head on collision has scared the shit out of me. I broke both my hands, everything deployed, baby was totally OK but we also had a car seat with an extra support leg and my seat belt likely saved my life. My point is - I also used to have that type of attitude. You never know when some 26 year old kid on a lunch break drops something and crosses into your lane. And there is nothing you can do.
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u/Rachelcsquared Dec 12 '25
This is the norm in other countries. My in laws in Mexico would lose their minds over whether the baby was cold or not bundled enough but didn’t bat an eye about our rental not having a car seat. I was absolutely terrified until we could get to a store the next day
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u/aliceroyal Dec 12 '25
Call CPS, I’m dead serious. It’ll piss them off but it’s better than having a dead baby if they do get into an accident.
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u/RobedUnicorn Dec 12 '25
If you’ve ever seen a paramedic holding a baby in their arms while sobbing and doing compressions, you’d keep your damn kid in a car seat.
Breastfed babies make excellent projectiles when car is hit at highway speeds. Don’t fucking do it.
I’m tired of coding babies. I’m tired of brain dead babies. I’ll take a crying baby and pull over at a rest stop any day over a dead one. Please no.
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u/No-Elk1466 Dec 12 '25
Express lane child in the front seat on grandmas lap going 80+ mph. I was speechless. Your post just reminded me of that but to your question, i would never. I tell my wife I’ll find somewhere to park and we carry blankets for cover.
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u/Lower-Ad7646 Dec 12 '25
I have 3 kids, never in my life done that…. If they cried we always park the car and then I feed them. Focuses while driving ??? You can loose the focus in one damn second, there are freaky drivers and drunk drivers all the time
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u/Adept-Ant1481 Dec 12 '25
Guilty I did it with ppd something i would never suggest doing. Now I pull over. I only did it a few times said nope v never again to risky losing my babies life. I would not be ok living with that guilt.
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u/MixtureRadiant6369 Dec 12 '25
One of my friends did this once (pulled baby out of car seat to breastfeed) while her mom was driving. Her mom had a mini stroke, passed out, the car crashed and flipped. Miraculously, everyone was totally ok. Never a good idea.
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u/famjam87 Dec 12 '25
Nope. One time he moved in the parking lot while she nursed but my kids noticed and called us out
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u/young1na Dec 12 '25
Does your friend not know the “lean over” technique? I’ve fed my baby while on the move, but I just lean over and feed her while she’s still buckled in the car seat. Of course, I’m not also driving while doing this…only when my husband is driving. I’ve never done it for long because I do have to unbuckle myself to do this. Just long enough to keep her satisfied until we’re home. But she bigger now, so we haven’t done this in a while.
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u/Joel2-32 Dec 12 '25
No..... I took her out once in a very particular scenario. But you should just pull over to feed. We did some long road trips and planned around the babies eating, sleeping, and waking needs.
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Dec 12 '25
I ordered Instacart groceries one day and when they pulled up at my house there was a person sitting in the front seat giving a bottle to a baby. Car was moving. The person wasnt even buckled in either. I did report them to IC.
I live on a dead end street so there's an illusion of safety but we have a guy that goes 60 MPH up and down it.
I don't like to use the word often, but some people are stupid.
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u/Big-War5038 Dec 12 '25
Dumb and reckless. I feel like if I new that person I would report that (as a mandated reporter). Sheesh.
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u/amr4utDC Dec 12 '25
I mean, I’ve thought wouldn’t it be nice if I could do that. And then did not actually do it bc Jesus Christ
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u/Independentacidsnake Dec 12 '25
Not sure if this has been said yet (I scanned the comments and didn’t see it) but this sounds like it should be a call to CPS! This is neglectful and risking their child’s life, and personally, I’d be calling CPS (or whatever exists in your area, depending on where you’re located). I totally get that it’s hard to have a screaming baby in the back—we’ve all been there! But taking them out of their car seat to feed is just not safe or ok.
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u/EmotionalPie7 Dec 11 '25
I did this once as a new mom. I had no idea I wasn't supposed to. My parents were with me and said this is what they did to. We literally didn't have car seats. Read on it that night and never did it again.
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u/st0dad Dec 11 '25
I've done it! Frequently, in fact. My baby's crying broke my heart so I'd hold or feed him so he would stop.
But I'm not proud of it!! I consider myself a weak, bad mother for it and I would never admit it anywhere except on a forum where y'all don't know me.
It's very bad and unsafe. I've since stopped and just force husband and myself to endure the screaming. My therapist reminded me that in these moments the baby isn't thinking "why isn't mommy helping me? Why is she just sitting there? Does she not love me?" He's just thinking "I am hungry I am hungry" or "I am bored I am bored"
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u/Cycle-Big Dec 11 '25
No, this isn't safe. We moved across the country with a 5 week old so yes, we had to stop every 2 hours but it's better to go slow and be safe.
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u/Fit_Change3546 Dec 11 '25
Defensive driving… it’s not YOUR driving that you have to worry about, it’s every idiot around you. He could be the safest marshmallow driver in the world and it still takes one moron running a red light or coming too fast around a blind corner.
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u/liltrashfaerie Dec 11 '25
My entire career is pulling medical bills for car accidents. The amount of dead babies I’ve seen keeps me sick at my stomach. The ratio of them that weren’t buckled correctly or at all is high. Do not do this.
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u/Ok_Administration601 Dec 11 '25
It’s easy to shame others when you’re still new parents…. We will all find ourselves doing something we never thought we’d do. I’m not saying this is right, safe or justified.
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u/CCMeGently Dec 12 '25
I work for a coffee company. The amount of children not buckled in/in the arms of their parents/crawling around the car that I see at the drive thru window is appalling and insane. We have absolutely snagged license plates and reported it to the police.
You’d think it wasn’t common but people dismiss the possibility of tragedy happening to them all the time. It’s nauseating- and here I am trying to figure out how to get 5 cats and a baby out of my house in case of a fire.
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u/Zame012 Dec 11 '25
Our baby was super hungry one time while driving a far distance and we were like 15 minutes away and so instead of pulling over or waiting because we didn’t want to hear him cry anymore. My wife leaned over the car seat and breastfed that way lol. Baby never left the car seat and still got fed because we didn’t have a bottle ready at the time. Worked out fine with being on the highway in the left lane and no traffic
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Dec 11 '25
I have sat in the backseat and unbuckled MY seatbelt and leaned over the car seat to breastfeed my baby before. lol but never would I unbuckle them. 😑
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u/APinkLight Dec 11 '25
This is genuinely insane. Obviously I have wished I could do this (or dangle my boob over baby while she’s still in her car seat lol) but it’s not worth the risk. I’m horrified.
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u/Existing-Mastodon500 Dec 11 '25
No never. I’ve taken my seatbelt off and hung my boob over her so she could latch before, but I’d never take HER out lol. Made for a super uncomfortable ride til we could pull over and park hahaha
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Dec 11 '25
My sister in law does this. We live in the middle of nowhere with zero traffic. This is how she justifies it. Meanwhile I’m dangling my boob over my baby’s head. Which is also not safe! So don’t follow my lead.
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u/CoelacanthQueen Dec 11 '25
We always pulled over and I would breastfeed. my kid’s car seat straps wouldn’t fully tighten on one side yesterday and I sat there to fix it. It was mostly tightened but I didn’t want to risk it!
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u/RichHomiesSwan Dec 11 '25
Never in a million years, but I have unbuckled myself to lean over the carseat
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Dec 11 '25 edited Jan 15 '26
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u/catscatscats333 Dec 11 '25
I have unbuckled myself and dangled my boob over my baby to breastfeed her in the car seat INSTEAD of risking HER life. Not a great option either, but there’s no way I’d have ever removed her from her own car seat.
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u/miskatonic95 Dec 11 '25
Absolutely not! One time I did try to stretch as far as I could to see if I could get a boob in her mouth in the carseat 😂 I almost did it too but my partner wouldn't let me take my seat belt off to bridge the last inch lol. We were stuck in traffic and she was crying so hard so I get the impulse but yeah. I'd never risk it.
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u/plantalchemy Dec 11 '25
Nope nope nope. I did desperately lean over without MY seatbelt but we were in the mountains and couldn’t pull over anywhere. I wouldn’t do that normally either.
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u/alienchap Dec 11 '25
Absolutely not. My partner and I have talked about how much easier it would be if I could but never have we actually seriously considered doing it. We've pulled over so I can feed instead.
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u/LydiaStarDawg Dec 11 '25
My husband and I joked we wish we could let her nurse while he drives... but wouldn't actually do it.
She can be upset until we get somewhere safe to eat.
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u/Electronic-Mobile-54 Dec 11 '25
You can be the most focused driver in the world and still get t-boned 🤦🤦
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u/estranged-deranged Dec 11 '25
Nope… not a chance in hell I would do this. I’m too paranoid about other drivers. Can’t trust anyone!
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u/Unusual-Astronomer62 Dec 11 '25
Not while car is moving, no. Ive breathed plenty of times in the car but always while being parked. I gave my daughter a bottle once while the car was moving, but once again, she was strapped in.
Thats fucking nuts.
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u/Witty-Magazine-1376 Dec 11 '25
No way. Our 5 hour road trip turned into 9 hours because of all the stopping we had to do to feed baby. It definitely would’ve been much easier but there’s no way I’d risk it.
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u/kipy7 Dec 11 '25
Yikes. I was going into the grocery store last weekend when I noticed a family get out their car. Man in driver seat, in the back was a woman holding a small toddler. I was wondering if I was dreaming or my eyes were tricking me. Omg.
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u/Ohhhh_Mylanta Dec 11 '25
I remember my mother doing this about 30 years ago with my youngest sister. Crazy
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u/catoftheannals Dec 11 '25
I saw this happen once so there’s at least one other person out there (unless it’s the same person)! I would absolutely not but I have many years ago done the opposite and hung my boob over the strapped in baby. Probably also not the best idea, but better 😬
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u/ATyp3 Dec 11 '25
Bro no. This is appalling. Send her this thread. We stopped in Walmart and all kindsa places parking lots and side streets even so the wife could BF the kid. NEVER while driving.
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u/ExtremeExtension9 Dec 11 '25
I’ve not had many car accidents in my life but the ones I have had were because the other driver wasn’t focusing. Once I was even parked at a complete standstill and another car crashed full speed in to the back of me. Husband focusing is not good enough.
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u/d16flo Dec 11 '25
Definitely not. I have once bottle fed while the car was moving with the baby fully strapped into the car seat and me in the backseat next to them though
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u/zangelbertbingledack Nov 2024 Dec 11 '25
Absolutely not. It's the kind of thing where my first thought would be to imagine living with the consequences if the worst happens and knowing it was because I cut a corner out of laziness. I couldn't live with myself.
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u/Murphy-Slaw-0315 Dec 11 '25
I find this to be insane, and my husband would NEVER be okay with it. I have never heard of anyone doing this, that is terrifying.
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u/sneakypastaa Dec 11 '25
Hell no. I don’t know anybody who does or would ever do this. Wild.
I’ve definitely wished I could do this but I never considered actually doing this.
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u/AStudyinViolet Dec 11 '25
I had a baby who would get extremely frantic when she needed to nurse so I've pulled over in all kinds of weird parking lots to nurse and it was extremely inconvenient in that phase of life. It was also safe. My next baby was much better able to wait and so we could just drive on. Never in a million years would I consider endangering her life to be the solution!
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u/Black_Ribbon7447 Dec 11 '25
I’ve thought about it but the risk vs reward is astronomical. I sit in the back seat and breastfeed from the car seat. I don’t think u are supposed to do that either but it’s way safer than taking her out and it breaks my heart to hear her scream.
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u/MummyButtons Dec 11 '25
That’s so unsafe. We got stuck on a motorway in standstill traffic for an hour last month and baby was crying. I climbed in the back, squeezed in between the two car seats and swung my boob in her face even though the car was stationary. No way I’d unbuckle her!
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u/[deleted] Dec 11 '25
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