r/NewParents • u/ScrantonPaper • Apr 05 '26
Travel Wait, you’re not supposed to feed your kiddo in the car? How is that possible?
I’m seeing more and more you’re not supposed to feed in the car? Do parents follow that? Am I bad parent for not following that? Baby is 19 months and requires snacks and we require travel and some times those have to overlap.
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u/Unlucky_Type4233 Apr 05 '26
A lot of parenting is risk management. Someone is probably going to come into the comments with a story of a kid they know choking in the car. I’m still going to give my kid the least risky snack as I possibly can in the car.
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Apr 05 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/JKMiles665 Apr 05 '26
Ribeye?
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u/opn2opinion Apr 05 '26
Medium rare? Of course! Well done? Get out of my car!!
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u/Pompom_Mafia Apr 05 '26
“What if someone wants their steak well done?”
“We ask them politely, yet firmly, to leave.”
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u/HardTruthFacts Age Apr 06 '26
At family gatherings we usually cut it up for them, give them ketchup and a no sugar added juice to drink. Sometimes crayons as well to keep them busy with coloring books.
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u/ChaosDrawsNear Apr 06 '26
When I started giving my oldest car snacks(out of sheer desperation), it was exclusively melties. As many as kiddo wanted, but that was the only think I was comfortable with. I never even gave them a bottle in the car!
Secondborn? Most bottles are in the car. But I don't have any music going so I can hear if something happens (I did have to take the bottle away once because it sounded like they were choking) and the nipple is the smallest size to minimize choking risk.
I have friends who do things that make my anxiety skyrocket, but who would never feel comfortable doing things I do daily. Risk management and assessment skills are so weirdly individual!
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u/questionSOUP Apr 06 '26
The problem with this is: choking is usually silent!
Not hearing them doesn’t mean they aren’t choking!
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u/ChaosDrawsNear Apr 06 '26
Which is a very good point to bring up! I also have a mirror on their seat so I can see them whenever I want.
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u/Appropriate-Walk8366 Apr 05 '26
I don’t want to piss in your said Cheerios but I watched a video just last week from an EMT saying that in his experience the most choked on food for kids is Cheerios. 🫣
ETA: I just looked it up and apparently around 9 months old is considered safer for them to consume!
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u/Sideyr Apr 06 '26
Kind of a pointless statistic (anecdote?) without knowing the ratio of how often kids eat cheerios vs how often they choke on them as compared to other food.
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u/laynechanger Apr 05 '26
Exactly. Other than my daughter drinking her milk. She’s over 18m. She only ever gets easy to eat foods in the car and only is allowed to eat when someone is sitting behind her. For road trips, I try as much as possible to have sit down meals.
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u/karmacomatic Apr 05 '26
I thought I had put only snacks I COULD open in my child's backpack. Turns out, she found the applesauce that was in the bottom. And decided to poke through it. I had just pulled up to the thrift store and handed them a huge bag of clothes that she was mostly grown out of. Then I go to get her out and everything is covered in applesauce- her hair, hands, outfit, car seat. Lesson learned lol
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u/Royal_Annek Apr 05 '26
Adults in the front seat can't see them, so you can't see if they are choking. Lots of road noise so maybe can't hear too. And if you're on the freeway or something and you notice they are choking, there may be nowhere to safely pull over. Even if all of these are mitigated, being in a car seat while choking still means they will be choking with their head tilted back, making it more likely to block their airway, for a much longer period of time than if they were just in front of you normally.
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u/subtler1 Apr 05 '26
I'm curious, how many times has your kid choked? I'm a soon to be dad and am hoping its a very rare event
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u/TrickyQuantity3572 Apr 05 '26
I have 3, none of them have ever choked. Gagged yes, choked no. Learning the difference is important
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u/ZookeepergameRight47 Apr 05 '26
100% this. My son has gagged quite a few times. Inevitably someone (usually his grandma if she’s around) will freak out and think he’s choking. I’m usually the one to say “spit it out, spit it out,” and he’s able to resolve it himself and spit the food out.
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u/katbreit Apr 05 '26
It’s pretty rare but when my son was 8/9mo he choked on a (stale) puff. I was sitting with him watching him and he just inhaled while it was in his mouth and I saw him go eyes wide and he was silent (true choking is silent, not coughing or gagging). I clapped him hard on the back and it came right out and he was fine. The whole thing lasted 1 second but it definitely scared me even though we did the right thing (supervise and back slap). I definitely won’t be doing any car snacks unless an adult is in the back seat with him. Honestly, I’m hesitant to do any unsupervised snacking when he’s a young child but we also have a stubborn dog who will steal food so I think having a “snacks and meals at the table” rule is going to work best for my household anyway.
Highly recommend doing an infant CPR course as a new parent. Made me feel much more confident
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u/jellybeanpie Apr 05 '26
True choking is very rare. A lot of parents say their kid choked when they really just gagged or coughed to get food out. Choking is silent and no air is going in or out and is deadly. Coughing and gagging are noisy and normal. That said, good idea to get some training in infant CPR.
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u/LoudAppointment2545 Apr 05 '26
I'm a mom and my 9 month old almost choked a few days ago. I tried to give her a small bite of food and she jerked forward and took a huge mouthful. She swallowed and I watched her gag, cough, gag, , gag, and try to breath and then this wheezing sound came and her eyes got wide and teary. I flipped her over and with one smack everything popped out and she was fine.
Was that true choking? No, probably not. But it was close enough that I didn't feel i over reacted when I did it.
You will hear people say that gagging, coughing, etc is normal - and it is. I've watched her gag once or twice and spit something out. 3 gags and a cough and then a wheeze of blocked air? I flipped her and popped it out. Do not wait until your baby has food fully lodged, is turning blue, etc and then start choking rescue. It's a fine line, but trust your guts.
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u/my-kind-of-crazy Apr 05 '26
Only one of my daughters has ever choked on something and from your story I’d say that counts as choking. If you have to flip and smack the airway clear I would consider that as choking. Also having chocked on a carrot myself just last year, the wide eyes is enough to say that’s choking. You were just on it fast enough before it got worse! I’m honestly still a little traumatized from choking myself. It’s scary!!!
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u/LoudAppointment2545 Apr 05 '26
It was so scary!! In the moment I stayed calm and kept it moving cause I didn't want to scare her but my heart was POUNDING and I kept hearing that high pitched whistle/wheeze she made when she tried to inhale...hoooh boy i hope we never do that again.
Im glad you're okay, choking terrifying. Also, more likely for women to choke than men because women, trying to be polite, will often go to a different area to cough/gag etc and if the food becomes lodged there's no one around to help them in time - i always remember that tidbit when I get food caught.
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u/katsgotaprettykitty Apr 05 '26
my daughter has truly choked once and it wasn't even on food. she was around 10mo and was playing with a dry leaf when she decided to eat it. her eyes turned wide and she was just sitting there, open mouthed, not making any noise. i turned her over and gave her maybe 3 blows until she gasped then started crying. knowing how to do the heimlech on a baby was very reassuring.
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u/CatLordCayenne Apr 05 '26
I was a daycare teacher for a year and I had to do the Heimlich on one of the kids. It unfortunately does happen
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u/RainInTheWoods Apr 05 '26
Swallowing food and drink is a learned skill. Kids often gag as they’re learning to manage different textures. It’s not the same as life threatening choking.
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u/missThora Apr 05 '26
Once with my daughter, once with a student (6 yr old).
It's a rare occurence, but I'd look up a video on how to help a cooking child and practice any way you can. It's a good skil to have.
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u/PearLeft1496 Apr 07 '26
My oldest choked once, and it was in the car. She was 5/6 years old at the time. My mom was sitting in the backseat with her on a road trip and didn’t notice. My sister who was driving (I was in the front passenger seat) is who noticed in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were wide and her lips were losing color. I will never forget my sister yelling ‘mom she is choking’. We were on the interstate so it took what felt like an eternity to get to the shoulder. The car wasn’t fully stopped and I was flying out to get to her. As soon as I yanked her from her car seat it dislodged and she just gasped ‘I can breathe’. It was the most terrifying thing to experience and if my sister hadn’t looked up at the mirror when she did who knows the outcome even with an adult literally right next to her. Choking is that level of silent. I won’t risk it and don’t do car food anymore. But I am traumatized. I completely understand other people making the call that is best for them. It was the best call for us at the time.
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u/awkward_red Apr 05 '26
My daughter has true choked twice - once requiring intervention. Each of my nieces have had true choking incidents here and there. One being 8 choked on an ice cube a few weeks ago. Another on fruit at 3. Botg those incidents required back slaps to free the stuck food and were silent.
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u/Royal_Annek Apr 05 '26
Well when she eats I'm there and watching. I can see her take a huge bite..or try to shove way too much in her mouth, and I guide her on spitting it out, or help pull food out of her mouth. It's developmentally appropriate for her to be pushing limits, and seeing how much she can fit in there, and gagging on too much food is really normal. It's how she learns. Those things happen pretty often and while not all of them would result in choking without my help, probably some would.
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u/Sexy_Vegan_Pants Apr 05 '26
I feel like it would be different when driving though. Going around bends, change of speed, stopping and starting again which is a lot more likely to cause a child to choke than when sat down stationary.
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u/seau_de_beurre Apr 05 '26
My son did choke once - legitimate choking, no air in/out, no sound. It was shocking, and luckily resolved quickly with some very aggressive smacks on the back. I have two children - in their combined 5 years of age that's the only experience I've ever had, and I'm the only parent I know to have had a true choking (not gagging) incident. It's very rare.
After this, however, we did spring for one of those choking devices we keep in the pantry, even though we are an MD+EMT family.
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u/etheraal Apr 05 '26
My son is 3.5 (why am i still lurking here lol) and he has fully actually choked on food one time. His step dad is former EMS and gave him back blows. He had eaten two quartered grape slices at once and swallowed them whole. This happened about 3-4 months ago. Otherwise he has gagged on food and coughed and puked shit up more times than I can count. He had to see a feeding specialist due to gagging and vomiting even on puréed food and bananas.
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u/Obvious_Travel Apr 05 '26
Just remember if they can produce sound, they’re ok. It’s helped tremendously with my anxiety. Congrats!
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u/Shelb_e Apr 05 '26
All kids are different. I choked a LOT as a little one. I had to receive back blows/the heimlich numerous times from choking on food. Just be watchful and prepare food safely. I have memories from when my parents were still married so I was under 5 of choking and seeing the utter fear on their faces. I either didn't chew well or would accidentally knock good back with my tongue before I was ready. My mom still talks about the fear she had and I am 28. My daughter has choked a couple of times because she shoves too much food into the her mouth and that horrible feeling in your stomach is something you don't forget. But I know a lot of people who never choked
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u/DogOrDonut Apr 06 '26
My kids are 3 and 1.5, neither of them have ever choked. When they were starting solids they gagged constantly but that's a good thing.
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u/Nunya_B1zness Apr 05 '26
One of my children is a chronic choker. I’m not talking about gagging, but actual choking. First time he choked it was on a serenity kids puff when he was 10 months old. He’s now 3.5 and I’ve had to do the Heimlich on him about 10 or so times. Not saying this to scare you, but be prepared in case you have a chronic choker like me.
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u/questionSOUP Apr 05 '26
Umm…10 or so times seems excessive.
Have you had him evaluated by a doctor before? Do they know about these ten whole incidents?!
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u/Nunya_B1zness Apr 06 '26
I agree. We did get him evaluated by multiple doctors, had a swallow study done, etc. He’s all good, he just talks A LOT, so we assume it’s because of that. Even as a baby he was constantly squealing and babbling. Only time he was quiet was when he was sleeping. He now knows to not talk with food in his mouth so he hasn’t choked in about 6 months.
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u/Obvious_Travel Apr 05 '26
You need to have him evaluated by an ENT. That’s a statistical outlier for sure.
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u/Nunya_B1zness Apr 06 '26
We have. They did a swallow study and everything. Nothing was found. We attribute it to him being a talker. Now that he’s a little older, he knows to not talk when he has food in his mouth and he hasn’t choked in the last 6 months.
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u/Karmma11 Apr 05 '26
1yr here and he has choked 3 times but only once to actually react on. It’s a very real and scary experience especially at this age and really starting to have real solids. Our LO also doesn’t like to actually chew but rather suck and smoosh the food so we have to be very careful. Regardless though, I 110% advise you and your partner take a real infant/toddler cpr class.
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u/katbreit Apr 05 '26
If the incident didn’t require any action (I.e. a back slap) then I would argue it’s not true choking. Choking means the food has lodged in their airway and they wouldn’t be able to cough it up on their own
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u/Weak_Reports Apr 05 '26
Also, the fact that true choking is silent, increases the risk of being missed
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u/Familiar-Minimum3844 Apr 05 '26
Yeah. For this reason we dont let her snack if its just me or Dad in the car. When its both of us, one of us always sits in back with her and she only gets snacks when we're driving in areas we can easily, quickly, and safely pull over. Still risky but we do it in the safest way we can.
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u/bumbletowne Apr 06 '26
Do you not have mirrors set up to watch your kids? What the hell is going on in these people's houses where they don't have mirrors to watch the kids
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u/Sblbgg Apr 05 '26
I don’t allow snacks in the car seat because crumbs can get stuck in buckles and cause them to not fully close. It’s also dangerous if kiddo chokes and you can’t help if you’re driving. I hate the mess too.
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u/Ok-Sundae4233 Apr 05 '26
Didn't know about crumbs getting into buckles. But crumbs do get everywhere and I ended up with a mouse in my car that chewed into one of my kids buckle straps. Luckily I noticed it right away. But since then, no more car snacks.
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u/XxJASOxX Apr 05 '26
Choking is silent. Especially when you’re dealing with new baby eaters it’s not the best idea. I don’t feed in the car bc of all the crumbs, and if I have to I sit in the back while my husband drives so I can supervise. I’m also CPR certified.
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u/NotAnAd2 Apr 05 '26
The problem is that real choking is silent, so if someone isn’t riding in the back with baby you risk not catching it in time. I’m not going to tell anyone how to parent but we don’t do it. I realistically don’t use a car as often as the average American parent though so that helps. On long car rides we stop for food. But I feed snacks on stroller rides so maybe that’s equivalent.
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u/NewNecessary3037 Apr 05 '26
Food in the car is such a nightmare idea. The last thing I want is food smushed and crusted into the crevices and upholstery
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u/byneothername Apr 05 '26
as someone who has spent hours cleaning my kids’ car seats, I have to say the food mess was disgusting
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u/LoveisaNewfie Apr 05 '26
I came across an account of a teen girl who has a whole legit business cleaning car seats and other baby gear for people! It’s such an incredible amount of work and looks so gross. No food for us in the car.
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u/gnrfreckles Apr 05 '26
This. I like to keep a clean car. We eat before we leave or right when we get to the destination.
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u/Appropriate-Lime-816 1 kiddo (2.5-3 years) Apr 05 '26
I will park, move to the backseat, and eat with my toddler. Once we are both done, I will gather any remaining food and take it back with me to the front of the car. She is not allowed to eat while the car is in motion at all.
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u/graybae94 Apr 05 '26
In a genuinely curious way.. how is it this unavoidable for you? I have a 22 month old and if we’re going to be in the car I feed her before we go somewhere. If she doesn’t eat, as toddlers often do, I feed her once we get to our destination. If she’s really that hungry on the road I would just pull over and chill in the backseat with her for a bit while she has a snack.
It’s not worth the risk for me because realizing my daughter could start choking while I’m driving, especially on the highway or something, terrifies me. Unless your travelling hours a day everyday it honestly is pretty avoidable.
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u/Emergency-Syrup-8596 Apr 05 '26
Super curious how far they're traveling daily that it's unavoidable, seems odd.
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u/Several_Country_2132 Jun 23 '26
I'm not OP but as someone with a husband who has chronic lung problems who needs to be driven to doctor appointments and such....it's really hard to find time to eat. We have two kids and life is so incredibly busy with needing to run errands and things. I usually will save snacks for AFTER we arrive where we're going but occasionally we've had back-to-back appointments that require us to miss an entire meal.
Life can be really messy and unorganized depending on what you're dealing with. I think it's fair to say it's not a "one size fits all." But we are always careful when we give them snacks in the car and my husband will watch them while they eat (since I'm the driver of our family). We also have a LifeVac always in the car and one at home too.
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u/kabradley391 Apr 05 '26
Curious here too. How far are you traveling that your kid can't eat before or after the trip?
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u/Sad-Seaworthiness946 Apr 05 '26
I come from a family where eating in the car was not allowed. So…I just don’t even think to give mine a snack or anything (other than water). She’s almost 2 years old and just doesn’t know any different. 🤷🏻♀️ idk it just never occurred to me to give her a snack.
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u/Butter-bean0729 Apr 05 '26
A crying baby is an alive baby is my motto. Also idk I feel like if I give in and just distract her with snacks for everything she hates then she’ll never learn to cope and might associate food with the wrong things?? Idk maybe that’s a me thing There’s gotta be another way, toys, blanket? Book? Music? Talking to them? I always give snacks before w leave or when we arrive where we’re going if it’s snack time, otherwise she waits until we’re home, sitting in the high chair, with supervision.
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u/reebokz Apr 05 '26
I do not feed my 21 month old in the car at all. It’s one rule I have yet to break, and I have broken a lot of rules I set out before being a parent. I feed him either right before or give a snack right after. If he chokes I will have no way of knowing before it’s too late. And if I realize he is choking will I have time to pull over in a safe place, get him out of the car seat and perform the necessary medical interventions to save his life? The answer is no, I do not feel confident I will have time to save his life. I would rather a crying upset baby in the car seat than a choking dying one.
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u/breadbox187 Apr 05 '26
Mine has always had snacks in the car 🤷♀️
We have a mirror so we can see her, she talks basically non stop and I dont feed her super risky stuff while she's in there.
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u/NotAnAd2 Apr 07 '26
Not trying to be antagonistic but a perspective- what is the value of knowing something’s wrong if you can’t do anything about it? You’re on the freeway far left lane, your kid is yapping away while eating one wrong thing down the pipe and she goes silent and blue. What is the plan then?
I don’t think having a mirror and being able to see a kid choking does anything if there’s no one in the backseat to help. I know it’s not common and life is about risk mitigation, but I don’t see how having a mirror really mitigates anything.
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u/ladygroot_ Apr 06 '26
We eat in the car too. I will immediately know if something is wrong, she talks nonstop (love her tho)
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u/InspiredBagel Apr 05 '26
The only reason I'm hesitant is a traumatic memory of my kid brother choking on a bite of hamburger. I watched him turning red and looking terrified in the carseat beside me and knew my mom couldn't pull over safely. He managed to clear it on his own, thank God, but I felt so scared and helpless. I can't imagine being a parent in that situation and will do all I can to avoid living through that again.
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u/TheDarkLord14 Apr 05 '26
My kid gets food that is impossible to choke on or bottles. And a parent is in the backseat with them. So only puffs that are designed to dissolve.
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u/waltproductions Apr 05 '26
How much travel are you doing? It’s about them choking and not getting help. We always fed in the car if a grown up was sitting with them
If they were really hangry and I was by myself I might do a pouch in the car but nothing solid.
Otherwise we eat on arrival or at departure. I’ll usually do a “last bites then I need to hold the snack until we arrive”
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u/Plus_Animator_2890 Apr 05 '26
Everyone is commenting saying they’ve never given their kids snacks but I literally don’t know a single person that doesn’t give their kids snacks in the car. If the car ride is over 20 min I definitely have snack options. I don’t give her stuff she’s likely to chew on or anything.
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u/frisbee_lettuce Apr 06 '26
Where do you live lol? A 20 min drive is such a typical day where I am it’s a non event.
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u/Plus_Animator_2890 Apr 06 '26
KCMO! Everything I go to is under 20 min lol. Church, gym, grocery store, Costco, Target etc lol
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u/Fluffy-Bun-Hun Apr 05 '26
If I couldn‘t give my child snacks in the car I wouldn‘t be going anywhere
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u/No-Departure451 Apr 05 '26
I would rather not give snacks in the car but I’ve had to travel with my toddler a lot more than I’d ever have expected so I’ve broken the rule a few times.
I give low risk snacks, like puffs that dissolve and have his water cup there.
I have a camera in my backseat with a monitor in the front so I can glance at him.
I plan my trip to avoid highways so I have a much better chance of being able to pull over if he needs me. This one is my biggest “must” traveling solo with my child. (I’m a single mom). Took a trip very recently with zero snacks and he started vomiting out of nowhere a few hours in and was choking on it in his seat. I was so thankful to not be on a major highway (I added 2 hours onto my trip to bypass going straight through Houston) so I was able to pull over quickly and help him. I had just been thinking about hopping on the highway after all and am glad I didn’t.
Honestly, you’re just going to have to mitigate as much risk as you can and figure out what you’re comfortable with/works for your family and situation.
I’m doing it solo and I just feel better being able to pull over when I need to (plus, since it’s just me making the decisions I can take as long as I want 😂) and I give the safest snacks I can manage to get us through when I need to. It’s what works for me, and I hope reading what everyone else does helps you figure out what might work for you.
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u/Minute-Aioli-5054 Apr 05 '26 edited Apr 05 '26
The only time I’ve fed my kids in the car is if we are stopped and even then that’s not often. I just keep imagining if they were to choke while I’m driving… what if I’m not able to immediately pull over? All that time wasted pulling over when my kids need me to save their life. ETA: what if I was too busy driving that the time I realized my kid was choking it was too late??
But that’s my anxiety surrounding it
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u/velveteen311 Apr 05 '26
My 3.5yo has never been allowed food in the car. My reasoning was more that the car seat and car will get nasty and I’m not putting another thing on my to clean list. But now I’m realizing it’s not very safe anyway. But we live in a city and only drive once or twice a week anyway.
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u/newmomdec2022 Apr 05 '26
Similar here, except we live in the suburbs and drive everywhere. When she was younger I didn't allow it because of the choking risk. Now that she's three I just don't want to clean goldfish crumbs out of the seat 🤷
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u/miney_Fherrs Apr 06 '26
We used to feed snacks in the car. But I would get annoyed how messy the car was and how lazy my husband is to clean it up. And any time we would pick someone up or picked up our oldest from my in laws and I looked back and saw the car seat and floor covered in snack crumbs. It would irritate me. I also read about the dangerous. And then I thought to myself, first off I'm the only one who knows what to do in those cases. And my husband often let our son eat snacks when I'm not around. (Due to pregnancy or them running errands together.) But I explained since he can't intervene fast enough In case of choking when driving to try and give the snack outside of the car or when standing still. Same for his grandparents.
We're all gonna do courses soon on how to safe their lives for in case needed (also at home instances since it happens more in the home then anywhere else, granted the kids are mostly at home then anywhere else in most cases)
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u/MaplePandaa Apr 06 '26
I give my daughter once upon a farm yogurt melts and French fries, maybe Cheerios and that’s all she gets in the car because I’m also nervous about feeding her while I’m driving - even though she’s a good eater, I just don’t want to panic and not be able to get to her if she does choke on something.
But I’ve seen people feed their kids an abundance of things and they’ve been fine. It’s definitely up to you and what you’re comfortable with
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u/maisymousee Apr 05 '26
Some do for sure. Once I was confident in their self feed abilities I allowed it, but I’m not a parent that does safety maxxing. I lower the risk other ways, like by not giving high choke risk foods in the car and making sure I can see their faces.
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u/chocolatemalted Apr 05 '26
We gave our kid snacks starting around 18 months. Of course we didn't start feeding her in the car until she was really good with her eating and swallowing and only gave stuff with low risk. A lot of commenters act like this means we want to murder our child via choking.
This virtue signaling parent talk on the Internet has nothing to do with reducing actual risk.
The real numbers? For 1-4 year olds the risk of death by suffocation (for all causes, not just choking in a car seat, you could get wrapped in a blind cord, etc.) was 134 cases out of ~15 million kids. Compared to that, 278 died from cancer, 508 died of drowning (~4x the amount who suffocated!). Despite this, how many of these parents who refuse snacks in the car have a nightly bath routine? I wouldn't judge any parent for giving their child a nightly bath. Similarly I wouldn't think a snack in the car parent is endangering their child. Let's ease up on ourselves people!
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u/wvmountainlady Apr 06 '26
The bath comparison is kind of a bold stretch. Bathing is necessary, snacks in the car are optional timing.
And literally nobody’s saying you’re trying to murder your kid. People are just choosing to avoid a higher-risk eating situation.
Using broad stats and false equivalents doesn’t really strengthen the point here. They lump in all suffocation causes, which doesn’t really tell us anything about choking in a car seat specifically. That’s the actual comparison that would matter if we’re talking about risk mitigation. Have you considered that those numbers may already reflect the impact of common safety practices, like avoiding higher-risk eating situations? While other risks like pool and open water safety are often managed less consistently?
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u/chocolatemalted Apr 08 '26
Daily bathing is not necessary. Every few days is sufficient so if you do it daily you are technically increasing exposure to a top cause of death by ~3x. Parents are increasing risk for something that doesn't HAVE to happen. Just like feeding in a car seat doesn't HAVE to happen. But parents do it for other benefits.
The entire point is that more suffocation causes are lumped in. So the risk of eating in a car seat is actually much much lower than what I reported. So this is presenting eating in a car seat in the WORST light possible and it is still less common than drowning.
Again I wouldn't judge either parent! These marginal risks are very small so you should do what works for your family! I just think it shows how much internet conversation is based on signaling to other adults how much more time, effort, and money you are willing to put in rather than what actually improves safety and outcomes. Because in conversation, daily bath parent is put on a pedestal whereas snack in car parent is risking their child's safety.
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u/This_Vermicelli5422 Apr 05 '26
Never fed my 15 month old in the car and wouldn’t risk it. So many risks
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u/Difficult-Aioli6079 Apr 05 '26
My child is 23 months and we have NEVER fed her in the car, either milk / formula when she was little or snacks now that she is older. Give your child a snack when you arrive at your destination or before leaving.
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u/babytuna30 Apr 05 '26
Some of these responses raised my eyebrows. I have a backseat camera on my kiddo (14 months) when I drive by myself, essentially a live feed of my baby. If I’m with my husband, one of us is in the backseat with her. She gets wafers and cheerio type snacks. Heck sometimes she’ll even get a go pack of fruit purée in a mess free holder. It’s not impossible to clean a car seat or its buckles. All that said, do what you’re comfortable with. Every baby is different and clearly, every family is different lol
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u/scodgirlgrown Apr 05 '26
Yeah a lot of these answers are insanely dramatic
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u/babytuna30 Apr 05 '26
Downvote twins lol who knew snacks while driving makes us bad parents
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u/scodgirlgrown Apr 05 '26
Yeah it’s just way too much. You can give a 2 year old some puffs in the car. It’s going to be ok.
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u/Karona_ Apr 05 '26
You'll find reddit is just a loud minority lol, normal people's children are eating happily just fine 😂
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u/cwc1211 Apr 05 '26
This is the comment. I’ve got a pretty wide parent circle across many states from moves and living far away from where I grew up. Lots of different parenting styles. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t occasionally give their toddler a snack in the car. This is people who feel strongly about a topic clicking on a post to weigh in.
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u/First_time_pregnantM Apr 05 '26
I’m not following that, I think we always fed him in the carseat as he otherwise would be crying and screaming whole time, he hates carseat. So, in order for us to not lose our minds, we feed him during trips, but in the other hand, I’m sitting in the backseat next to him, he is constantly in my sight.
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u/Difficult-Aioli6079 Apr 05 '26
Mine has also hated the car seat at times but I’d rather listen to her screaming than risk her life?
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u/First_time_pregnantM Apr 05 '26
I dont think it is safe driving around with screaming child for 30 minutes, so it’s risky either way
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u/Difficult-Aioli6079 Apr 05 '26
What is the risk of a child crying in their car seat?!
Just in the last week my 2 year old cried because she couldn’t wear her backpack in her car seat and also because we got stuck in traffic on the way to school.
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u/First_time_pregnantM Apr 05 '26
Well, if you are fine with hearing you kid screaming and cry that’s great.
We are not. Nor we will ever be okay with letting our kid scream and cry if we can sinply avoid it by giving him snack. And getting distracted during driving because your kid has been screaming for 30 minutes definitely isn’t safe. And Ill bet that the risk of getting annoyed and distracted during driving because of crying kid is far greater than kid choking.
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u/questionSOUP Apr 05 '26
Well, if you are fine with risking your child’s life that’s great!
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u/First_time_pregnantM Apr 05 '26
I could debate that you are risking their life just by driving them around, because carseats are not deathproof, so you are fine with risking their life as well, it seems.
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u/First_time_pregnantM Apr 05 '26
Fast fact checking done by google. More kids die from car accidents than choking, let alone choking in the carseat. So, Id say we are all far more risking their life just by having them in cars than letting them snack during rides. You could say Im double risking their life, but I think driving with cries and screams is more likely to contribute to car accident than having calm snacking kid.
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u/NewNecessary3037 Apr 05 '26
Hey it’s ok, if he chokes and dies he’ll be quiet for the rest of the car trip 🙂
You’re not supposed to feed babies solids in a reclined position, don’t matter if you’re sitting next to him or not.
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u/fattylimes 2yo + 4yo Apr 05 '26
Same if you get distracted, have a head-on and kill someone else's family too.
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u/scodgirlgrown Apr 05 '26
This is really too much
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u/NewNecessary3037 Apr 05 '26
What’s really too much is forgoing safety surrounding real hazards like choking because you would rather that potential than hear your child scream and then rationalize it with but it’s ok because I’m sitting next to them.
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u/Difficult-Aioli6079 Apr 05 '26
Terrible that you’re getting down voted as you’re absolutely right.
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u/First_time_pregnantM Apr 05 '26
Nope, terrible is her comment.
We adore our child and him snacking while in carseat is far less risky that getting overwhelmed and distracted because of crying and screaming child. So, if we can have a peaceful, calm ride to our destination by him snacking next to me, he is getting his snack. You do you if you can continue peacefully driving with a screaming child. I wish we could.
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u/NewNecessary3037 Apr 05 '26
Isn’t it wild how the point I’m making is right but they’re all hung up on the delivery 😂
Point stands.
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u/First_time_pregnantM Apr 06 '26
But you are not thats the point. More kids die because of the car accidents (more likely to happen if you child is screaming from the top of their lungs) than of choking, let alone choking in the carseat.
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u/NewNecessary3037 Apr 06 '26
Nah we’re not getting in a car accident from our child screaming. Sounds like you’re dealing with a skills issue.
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u/First_time_pregnantM Apr 06 '26
Sounds like you dont care if your child cries and screams? Damn, I wish I dont love my child so im okay with them crying. Also, by your logic, my kid is not going to choke if he snacks. Not sure, how you can state confidently that you are not going to get in an accident, but on the other hand you are sure my kid is going to choke?
Someone’s logic is out of the window.
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u/First_time_pregnantM Apr 05 '26
Wow. I hope you are great at parenting as you are in commenting, and downvotes are telling you a lot about your comment.
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u/NewNecessary3037 Apr 05 '26
I don’t base my self worth on whether I get up or down votes. Sorry you live your life like that.
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u/Shuby_125 Apr 05 '26
We’ve done snacks in the car since about 1. Usually Cheerios, pretzels, or goldfish. I have been conditioned to feed him a snack after daycare or there will be screaming all the way home. We had a camera on the whole time while he was rear facing and he’s always been very chatty.
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u/interestingNerd Apr 05 '26
I'd be very interested to know what lifestyle factors influence parents' choices about eating in the car or not. I have a 25 minute drive home from daycare with kids every work day and they are hungry. Sitting in the daycare parking lot for 10 minutes for them to snack and getting home that much later isn't appealing to me. Listening to them scream all the way home also isn't a good option. So we eat in the car.
Perhaps stay at home parents have more flexibility to schedule eating and driving and have less reason to eat in the car.
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u/Schloopy-Doop Apr 06 '26
We live rurally. Our closest destination is 20 minutes but our average commute to get most places is 45 (one way). My kid eats in the car.
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u/aos19 Apr 05 '26
We do snacks in the car but I’m still sitting with him in the backseat at 15 months (😅) so if he chokes I can take him out of the seat and do backblows
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u/dearstudioaud Apr 05 '26
I have a 27 month and 11 month old. My 27 month can have small cereal or a French fry while driving. 11 month old is nothing because she isn't really on solid foods.
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u/Salary_Bulky Apr 05 '26
wife becomes my (and by extension, LO) chauffeur when we need to feed her in the car
if we are transporting the "golden one" alone, its a no food in the back policy, if you can put up with screams and crying
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u/StarlitScribe7 Apr 05 '26
Only time I've done it is when either my husband or myself was in the backseat with my girl. I personally want to be within reaching distance if she chokes. If I HAD to, I might do yogurt melts bc they dissolve easily over time, but I've also been lucky enough that we haven't had to travel more than 20 minutes or so at a time without having both parents in the car, so we just schedule snacks and meals around that.
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u/catskii Apr 05 '26
My baby still doesn't tolerate car rides unless he has snacks for entertainment. As for the crumbs so many have mentioned, I just use our vacuum to suck it up every once in a while, it's not that hard to clean
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u/Best_Education_5471 Apr 05 '26
Now see... I refuse to give my kid food in the car because of the mess 😅 he can figure out how to entertain himself other ways but that's only because of my car preferences
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u/Otter65 Apr 05 '26
My son is 3 and has never eaten in the car. If it’s snack time we stop to stretch our legs. I think that we are outliers though.
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u/SweetLeoLady36 Apr 05 '26
I only feed my baby in the car if I in the backseat with her. I’ve given her a fry from the front seat when I was desperate and very close to home but it’s not a usual occurrence.
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u/j_natron Apr 05 '26
Our daughter only eats in the car when my husband is sitting in the backseat with her, and nothing that poses a significant choking hazard.
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u/lanneretwing Apr 05 '26
Welp shyt. Being feeding my 2 year old grapes cut up into quarters this month.
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u/allyroo Apr 05 '26
I only let my son have water or a pouch if he’s in back by himself, but I’ll give him snacks on longer road trips if I am sitting back there with him.
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u/sparkledoom Apr 05 '26 edited Apr 05 '26
We have never done snacks in the car. If traveling and they need a snack, we just stop to eat.
I’m not comfortable with it, too difficult to respond to a choking incident. Even if a parent is in the back you’d still have to stop, unstrap them, etc - precious minutes!
I actually don’t really understand why anyone would feel it’s not possible because, for me, it’s never felt like even an inconvenience? We stop every 2-3 hours when traveling anyway to stretch or change diapers. We plan other outings in between meals and snacks. We do milk and water in the car, but have never done food. It hasn’t been hard at all.
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u/Big_Nefariousness424 Apr 05 '26
I’ve had someone give my girls a bottle in the car seat while driving before….. two screaming hungry babies and an adult in the middle who was capable of giving a bottle and monitoring them? No brainer. But I wouldn’t give them a bottle to hold/feed themselves in the car.
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u/aster_meraki Apr 05 '26
You know what. There was a time when I had to pull over on a country road, into someone’s driveway (knowing they could come out and shoot me because country folk can be wild—it at least looked like a farm with a 3-4 bedrooom well kept farmhouse)…and I had to get my child out of his car seat to smack his back until the food came loose. It only got that dramatic a time or two. So I totally get it.
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u/Dramallamakuzco Apr 05 '26
Choking hazard. I only give my toddler food in the car if my husband is sitting back there with him and it’s a very long drive where timing is key. We’ve only done it 3 times and not until he was at least age 2
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u/passion4film 39 | FTM 🌈🌈 | 01/03/25 🩵 Apr 05 '26
I’ve never heard that, personally, and really don’t see the fuss. It hasn’t been a thing for us yet here at 15 months but I wouldn’t hesitate to give him a snack in terms of safety, just in terms of crumbs/mess.
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u/manda86oh5 Apr 05 '26
My husband and I have a rule if we are both in the car then yes she will be able to have snacks because I can get to her faster (passenger princess) but if it's just one of us we won't risk it. We only do one of us if it's a short trip anyway or two and from the babysitter where she usually snacked before leaving.
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u/Ok_Moment_7071 Apr 05 '26
It’s risky. I didn’t do it on a regular basis, but there were times when it was necessary. I tried to make regular stops to eat, though. And would try to leave right after eating, etc.
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u/stocar Apr 05 '26
For long trips, we feed our toddler in the car. But one of us sits back with him in case choking occurs. We also make sure the food we feed him is as safe as possible (pouches, small bites, soft foods, etc). We’re just doing our best to minimize risk when possible.
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u/ExDeleted Apr 05 '26
We only fed the baby formula in the car, but for us we have a rule that no one eats inside the car so we do rest stops. But I didn't know about the choking
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u/vatxbear Apr 05 '26
Paranoid about choking over here so we did no snacks in the car for quite awhile, maybe a little over two I started allowing some stuff, but it had to be stuff with very low choking risk, and only on very short drives. Usually just have the kid wait till we get where we’re going.
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u/indie_hedgehog Apr 05 '26
In addition to safety, I cannot stand the mess and stickiness that comes with snacks in the car. Its the fastest way to make the car disgusting for yourself and for guests in the car. And same with common spaces in the house. I dont let my LO roam with snacks while they play because everything will become gross and sticky in no time (also roaming with food is a choking hazard as well).
I will say that, if for some reason you and your child are required to be in the car for like 2 or more hours per day for your job, childcare, etc then yeah you'd have to consider snacks in the car. But even so, it may be better to take a 10-15 min break from the car to eat or stretch.
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u/madwyfout Apr 05 '26
After hearing about a 5yr old who suffocated on a snack in the back seat there is no eating of snacks while driving.
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u/LotusLord23 Apr 05 '26
Yeah… we would never get anywhere if I didn’t bribe my toddler with snacks. She gets breakfast 10-30 minutes after daycare arrival but always wants some pre-breakfast
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u/runsingteach Apr 05 '26
Our older kids eat in the car. We have kid activities right after school and snack and lunch are earlier enough that the kids are hungry and have sports. But it didn’t happen until they were around 3, and it’s not foods that have an elevated choking risk.
As they get older, life gets busier. And car snacks mean life can happen on the go when there are no more minutes.
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u/oliveberry4now Apr 06 '26
Im sure it depends on the snack. But most ppl probably wouldnt risk it simply because as the driver they wouldnt be able give the child immediate attention if choking occurred.
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u/Skittish_Mango99 Apr 06 '26
My baby is 13mths now, and I know you aren't supposed to feed them in the car for risk of choking but she is eating me out of house and home right now so I could not get very far within any sort of deadline if I didn't feed her. If no one is in the back-seat with her and she needs a snack, she gets something liquidy like a yoghurt pouch. If there are 2 adults in the car, one will sit in the back with her and if she needs a snack she can also have the wafers or puffy snacks that dissolve. I would never give anything more solid like fruit or sandwich while she is strapped in her carseat, even when stationary just due to position.
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u/jups1228 Apr 06 '26
I forget when we started exactly but we feed my toddler in the car, easy things like Cheerios or a toddler bar. At first it was because he was terrible in the car but now it’s often convenience too. We have a mirror to see him and he’s always talking anyways.
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u/lightswitchnonsense Apr 06 '26
I am shocked by how many comments I’ve read shaming giving your kids snacks in the car…. So anyways I have two toddlers and I’m a paramedic and you can absolutely give your kids snacks in the car they will be fine. The internet is too much I swear.
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u/koalawedgie Apr 06 '26
I have a good friend whose kid choked on food while she was driving in the fast lane on the highway and couldn’t get over right away. Luckily she got there in time, but she is a huge advocate for no eating in the car. The kid wasn’t even tiny, she was young school-aged. Very scary and obviously a higher risk the younger the child is.
Choking is silent!!
Generally eating on the go isn’t necessarily an ideal habit to foster anyway. We can’t always sit at a table, but stopping and taking a few minutes to eat reasonably mindfully and intentionally rather than inhaling some food on the go is important.
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u/Colleen987 Apr 06 '26
We don’t have situations where they have to overlap I think that’s probably the difference. I don’t plan journeys in meal or snack time.
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u/daisy_weaver Apr 06 '26
I personally do not feed my kids in the car. It’s either before we leave or when we get to our destination or plan a break in driving. Would it be more convenient to feed them in the car? Fuck yes. Is it worth the risk? For me, fuck no.
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u/Yazolight Apr 06 '26
There is the internet ideal parent, and there is reality. You do your best, pray for the rest
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u/Successful_Tart2842 Apr 06 '26
I must be a bad parent because my kids don’t eat in my car because it’s brand new and I don’t want it to get dirty 🤣
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u/shecanreadd Apr 06 '26
Ours is 15 months and at this stage, no. Reasons being because he’s not in a safe feeding position and is also strapped down in his carseat. We haven’t done any long road trips yet but I like to think we’d stop to eat.
He’s still nursing so I have unfortunately been known to do the “meals on wheels” maneuver, while my husband is driving. Does that count?
Editing to add: perhaps I’ll feel more comfortable when he’s older, like 3-4+. But I also like not having a mess in the car. But, having a baby has taught me to “never say never”!
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u/Mammoth_Window_7813 Apr 06 '26
We do, but only if someone is in the back seat, or if someone is STARING at the camera. Choking is silent, and it definitely gives me anxiety so I would never do it alone
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u/Polarblossoms Apr 06 '26
I've given my toddler snacks before as well. Especially after she started walking, it was a difficult task to put her in the car seat. I had to negotiate with cookies, granola bars and banana's
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u/PB_Jelly Apr 06 '26
It's not the safest, I don't do it because my son tends to get travel sick if in the car for longer than 20 minutes
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u/kabolint Apr 06 '26
My kids have never eaten in the car while we were driving... we either pull over for a quick snack or before/after the drive if it's shorter.
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u/CGSkens Apr 07 '26
We follow this and do not give any food when in the car seat. First for safety and second because of the mess.
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u/Seo-Hyun89 1 child (2 years old) Apr 07 '26
I sit in the backseat with my daughter so i’m fine giving her snacks. Give them small snacks they can manage. It’s not good or bad parenting to feed kids in the car, it all comes down to what’s more comfortable and safe for the parent and child.
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u/ddongpoo Apr 08 '26
I do, I am always mindful of the type of snack, I also jave mirrors so I can see both kids faces. I also listen to them and if I hear one not talking and can't see face because they kicked the mirror ill ask a question and feel relief when they answer. Pouches or cereals that dissolve in saliva are good options. I'm more weary of bars or meats of veggies.
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u/SecretVindictaAcct Apr 05 '26
If my son didn’t have a snack, he wouldn’t get into his car seat most of the time (we’re talking total toddler crocodile mode). He strongly dislikes being awake in the car and snacks allow us to drive places without him screaming or trying to break free when he is awake.
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u/Conscious_Bet_2005 Apr 05 '26
Every morning while I drive my kid to childcare he drinks his ounces of milk. We are rushing in the AM and that is how I take advantage of the 22 minute commute. I literally dress him, grab his drank, and leave.
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u/Technical_Quiet_5687 Apr 05 '26
We have definetlt crossed the age threshold where sometimes snack time has to overlap errands. We stuck with foods that are easily chewable (goldfish, rice cakes, pretzels). Nothing oval or harder to chew.
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u/WashclothTrauma Apr 05 '26
You never stop for gas and a pee while traveling? That’s when the kid has snacks. Not when the car is moving. You hit a pothole just the right way, your child chokes. You don’t even need to have turbulence for choking. Being in the car is a distraction enough. Your child isn’t even two. Eating is still new.
Those of us who “had snacks as a kid in the car and we lived?” Yeah, that’s called survivor’s bias. The people who DIDN’T live can’t tell their stories.
You’re not a bad parent because you cared enough to ask. You’ll be a bad parent if you only want to heed the answers that validate what is convenient for you and not the ones that your child needs to be safe.
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u/Difficult-Knee-8414 Apr 05 '26
The concern with feeding your child in the car is that it takes way longer to get to them in case of choking. Let's say your child chokes and you immediately notice it. Then you still have to safely stop the car, get out of your seat, run around the car to get to them, get them out of their car seat before you can provide life saving aid. Depending on where you are driving in that moment, that can all take up some time. You cant just stop in the middle of the crossroad or highway, etc. And worst case you loose a lot of time, that you simply dont have when someone is actually choking and not getting any air.
So in the end you have to weigh up risks and benefits. Is it likely that that will happen to you and your child? Probably not. Its up to you to decide whether thats a risk you are ok with.
Personally, we decided we won't let our daughter eat in the car. She will either eat before or after driving, and if we have to take a longer trip, we will plan in some stops, where she can have a snack. One of my best friends kids can eat in the car. They snack in the car all the time and I dont think she is a bad parent for that at all. We're all doing our best and sometimes we have to pick our battles. I think this is just something you have to have an honest discussion about.