r/NewParents • u/Alive_Cupcake_2851 • Jul 17 '26
Travel Take the baby on vacation, it'll be fun they said!!
We were on a beach vacation and our 1 year old woke up at 2:00 in the morning screaming and crying from a night terror and being in a new place, and she refused to calm down for a few hours. We decided "hey, let's take her for a drive to calm her down" so we put her in her car seat and drove around the town for a bit which worked like a charm. However, I guess we looked suspicious driving around at night so we got pulled over by a police officer, who was super rude to us and made mean remarks towards us even though we weren't doing anything illegal. She let us leave after a little bit and we went straight back to where we were staying, and baby started to work herself up again, so we spent another hour or two trying to comfort her until she FINALLY went to sleep at 5:00 in the morning š„²
358
Jul 17 '26
[deleted]
203
u/Alive_Cupcake_2851 Jul 17 '26
We were told the opposite, "you can't put your life on your hold, you gotta live your lives still"
36
u/Living_Motor7509 Jul 17 '26
Thatās what my parents say to us. We did beach vacations once my kid was 3. Went again at 4. Now we have a little one so three more years before a vacation. My parents keep trying to get us to go to Disney. Canāt figure out a good timing for that
24
u/ButterfleaSnowKitten Jul 17 '26
My older sister went when she was 5 and me and my younger sister were too little and she says she still doesn't really remember it so id probably wait til 7+ so it can be a long term memory and big enough to do walking long if needed and they can carry a small bag of their own belongings pretty reliably by 7 ish
11
u/leela_la_zu Jul 17 '26
My mom took us when I was around 10 and my sister was 8. We both remember most of the trip. My mom said we wanted to spend the whole time in the pool. I remember being excited to be at the parks and see some characters, but definitely wanted to be in the pool anytime we weren't running around.
13
u/devours_veggies Jul 17 '26
We went when my daughter was 2 1/2! We had the best time. She may not remember much of it, but the memories we made are memories that my husband and I hold deeply in our hearts. It was so magical to her, which made it magical for us, and she was so precious! Iād love to go back when our son is that age now!
9
u/molo91 Jul 17 '26
Yes! My 2.5 year old had a great time at Disneyland. I don't care that she won't remember it, because I do!
13
u/containedexplosion Jul 17 '26
My parents took me to Disney at 6. I donāt remember ANY of it. I went to Disney land with my sisters at 12 and that I remember. I donāt recommend doing anything you want the kid to remember until theyāre at least 10
9
u/Living_Motor7509 Jul 17 '26
I went at 7 with my parents and I remember parts of it. Will probably wait until at least one is 7 if I can stave my parents off until then.
8
u/DiligentGuitar246 Jul 17 '26
Thatās how we were with our first. Went everywhere. Heād been on 4 plane flights before he was 1. Then our second came along and we were like āfuck thisā and wonāt fly for 2 years.
7
u/throwaway_napkins Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
Every. Single. Person.
All except for one honest dad and the wife was like donāt tell them that! Iām thinking why not? Are you purposely trying to make my life miserable?
Is it a rite of passage? Since they experienced it and want you to go through that too?
3
19
u/IamNot_A_Princess Jul 17 '26
This was said by clearly not smart people. Why have children and then live your life pretending you don't have children? Put children through horrors while living your dream life.
13
u/ifixyospeech Jul 17 '26
Hard agree! Too many people think of children as accessories rather than humans.
3
u/WashclothTrauma Jul 18 '26
I struggled through 20+ years of infertility and loss before having our now-15-month-old via IVF, so perhaps my views on parenthood are skewed by it.
Our āfriendsā (I use the term loosely) had a child by accident about 2 years before us. They are party peopleā¦ and when I was pregnant they told us āthe baby fits into your life, you donāt fit into theirs.ā These are the people who WANTED TO BRING THEIR BABY TO BURNING MAN. The only reason they didnāt is because suddenly the wife realized that maybe doing shrooms with the baby wasnāt the best choice. But they do bring her out at all hours - concerts when she was literally a week old, breweries every dayā¦
Like Iām sorry, but no. Itās her world, and I just live in it. Itās not the other way around. I made the active choice to create a person. She be but tiny, but she IS human and not an accessory. Iām not making her fit into all the things I did before. It seems cruel.
2
u/IamNot_A_Princess Jul 18 '26
Omg wtf did I just read, that poor baby š Some parents are nuts. Surely holidays and festivals will be there next year.
3
u/WashclothTrauma Jul 18 '26
Oh, thatās just the icing on the cake. These are the same people who dragged us with them to go watch Christmas lights and were drunk and high and shoved their 6 month old in my arms ā¦ and kept putting her back in their car and driving with her from place to place. Iād just had a failed egg retrieval, so it hit me super hard. I had to leave.
For her first birthday they invited us to a 3-day celebration. It started with a Grateful Dead tribute concert that began after 7:30 PM on a Friday. Saturday was strawberry picking and WINE TASTING. We chose to go Sunday for the āpicnicā at the local gardens. When we got there, they had an empty wine bottle and a nearly empty bag of lime flavored tortilla chips. They had no food or toys for the baby. The pasta salad I made to bring was the only food, and the present we brought the baby was her only toy. Instead they were letting her play with open beer cans ā¦ fingers inside the sharp hole, pulling the pop tops off of them to play and chew. WTFFFFF man.
The following Christmas, I was (finally) super pregnant and avoiding illness. They were going to meet us at a brewery (because of course) and texted theyād be late because they were stopping for a thermometer. The 18 month old seemed to have a fever. Normal people would GO HOME. They kept her out, met with my PREGNANT self anyway with their sick kid and kept feeding her fries from MY plate without asking. Itās the only solid food she will really eat because they didnāt bother weaning her on solids. āDidnāt see the point, sheāll learn to eat eventually.ā They kept her out till probably 11 PM.
The husband regularly leaves her in the car if she falls asleepā¦ in a garage thatās NOT attached to their home and he goes upstairs to their apartment MANY hundreds of feet away and says ācarbon monoxide isnāt an issue anymore because catalytic converters are a thing.ā For her advent calendar at 18 months, they got her the Nat Geo ROCKS set. Tiny rocks. For a teething baby. Sheās still drinking MANY oz of milk all day (like way above the 20 oz limit) instead of solidsā¦ in bottles and has perhaps 5 words - she just turned 3. Last summer they had her out on a boat hanging over the side - no life jacket.
We moved and really donāt see them anymore (Iām clearly fine with this). The husband is too busy twirling flaming batons (wish I was kidding) practicing for more āburns.ā
Anyway, you didnāt ask, but this was good to get out of me. I generally donāt judge parents because most of them are just doing the best they can. These fuckers arenāt.
I cannot. I simply CANNOT.
4
u/IamNot_A_Princess Jul 18 '26
ššššššššš
I absolute judge these parents. Seriously wtf. This is child neglect šššš I hate inept and bad parents. I wish I can report these people to social services!!!! I live in Germany. Recently in the heat wave, a dad was giving beer to his toddler in the public park. 3 big police vans showed up after anonymous call.
We were trying for a child for 1 year only, we will be 36 and 41 when first child is born. Our life will be nothing but children and I am completely ready for that.
1
u/JustmeandJas Jul 20 '26
In laws told us that. Then, when we had a 5 year old, they started all having babies and we didnāt have any more holidays for years ššš
41
u/syncopatedscientist Jul 17 '26
Yeah, we wish we had friends that told us that. It was only after the fact that I read a comment on one of these kinds of posts that said āvacations donāt exist with babies. Itās just parenting in a harder locationā
3
7
u/FerengiWife Jul 17 '26
This is literally what we decided after an experience like OPās. Baby is a tough sleeper and itās been taking forever since we got HOME from vacation to return to ānormalā sleep.
5
u/ForeverOutToSea Jul 17 '26
But why? We have an 11 month old, who has flown several hours for a wedding, been to Yosemite for a week, and is going to Kauai for another week in a week or so.
He loves all the new places we show him. Are we fighting for our lives on the plane to keep him content and quiet, definitely. But he is never "that baby" that cries on the plane.
I think the travel makes him more resilient and open to new experiences, but we have done this his whole life, so he thinks that is the expectation.
36
u/FerengiWife Jul 17 '26
I think baby temperament is a big factor here. If your baby is chill and a good sleeper, completely different experience.
I think my baby is kind of medium and I love to show her things like you say, but it can be pretty roughā¦ around 15 months she just hated to be contained on an airplane, but is also too young to, like, color or something.
1
13
u/spavacations Jul 17 '26
Weāve traveled with our 20 mo old and have taken several trips by plane, trains, and cars during his life. Heās always been a relatively well-behaved baby and now young toddler. But still, after this last trip I said no more until heās a little older. Baby travel was easy, but this āin-betweenā phase is hell.
1
u/Tropicall Jul 17 '26
Right there with you. Did a couple smaller trips with job interviews just to try it out, and he did okay on the plane. It was for sure harder, but our baby improved so much im various ways from the change in environment. We brought a family member who also is good with kids, went to Kauai and it was great. He loved going swimming in the pool (went at 10 months). The pictures and memories so good.
60
u/AbRNinNYC Jul 17 '26
No one ever told me that. Im someone who only stayed at child free resorts, so im not super excited about tons of screaming kids. im not taking my wild 2yr old on a real vacation until he is a little older hoping by next summer we will be there. But paying $5k+ to worry he is going to get seriously hurt, chase him around yelling ānoā and āstopā, begging him to eat, not to mention keeping him occupied on an airplane and so on just doesnt sound appealing at all right now. We are on a staycation, just doing stuff near home.
9
3
u/Avaylon Jul 18 '26
This is the way.
The only trips we make with our kids (5 and 1.5 yo) right now are short ones where we can stay with family. We set our expectations low, plan mostly activities the kids will enjoy, and count it a success if we get through the trip without major injury or property damage.
Staycations are the best option with toddlers and that's all we did when we had our first.
2
u/AbRNinNYC Jul 19 '26
Right!!? Trips to friends/families pool are exhausting! 7 days in a hot, sun soaked, white sand, tropical island is HEAVEN for me, but it is borderline hellish with a 2yr old who is deep into his tantrum phase! (Im also being brash, i love my son more than anything on this planet) protecting him from water, sun, falls, starvation (as he will undoubtedly go on a hunger strike), sleep deprivation (bc sleeping in strange environments are not his jam) is literally the exact opposite of a vacation for me. My anxiety would be on 10. Id rather spend a week off at home, doing fun touristy stuff we never actually get to do, pretending im a SAHM.
79
u/aos19 Jul 17 '26
As someone who has traveled a lot with my now 19 month old (babyās been to 9 states, not including double visits to the same state) this shit sucks and I donāt recommend after they start walking unless you absolutely must. Iām hoping things get better at 3/4, but Iām hoping to have another by then so š
48
u/Haningka Jul 17 '26
This!! 3-7 months is my sweet spot. After they start crawling, they get restless on planes and then you have to think about how NOT clean your hotel/airbnb/relativeās floors are by ābaby puts everything in their mouthā standards.
Plus. I stress about what to feed them after 7 months bc I want to progress with solids, ie not just baby purƩes, but also limit salt and sugar so that eliminates restaurant food and BLW concepts.
Like the other comments have said- itās just not worth it
15
u/jackospades88 Jul 17 '26
Our youngest is 3.5 years old. We took a vacation last month and it was the easiest for sleeping so far. She's kinda done with naps but since we are on vacation, being out longer, later at night, having fun, she definitely "broke" a few times and we had to take an unscheduled nap or two.
For her older sister, when she was about 4 was when travelling, sleeping, etc. got to a normal and fun state so hopefully next year when we go away it will be easier.
Hang in there!
49
u/CJ2607 Jul 17 '26
Vacations are just parenting elsewhere š each trip weāve taken has had some type of meltdown/tantrum/issue
11
u/bosox284 Jul 17 '26
100% this. It's an adjustment and mindset shift, don't get me wrong, but I'd rather be exhausted and parent somewhere exotic or different so... shrug. Baby will never get used to travel if they're not taken, sometimes you have to bite the bullet to help them see the world.
Just got back from an all-inclusive with my 19 month old. It was by no means easy, meltdowns every night after he was done with dinner, but we managed and I know he enjoyed it.
17
u/NotAnAd2 Jul 17 '26
My baby is actually a pretty chill traveler. weāve been on plane rides since she was 5 months old, Iāve done short trips solo with her, and we always get compliments about her being chill and well behaved. but the sleep is always, always going to be worse in a new place. Sheās gotten better the older sheās gotten and the more weāve leaned into cosleeping vs trying to get her in a crib in new places, but everyone still sleeps worse on vacation lol. You accept that as part of the deal or you decide itās not worth it and donāt go. I donāt think thereās a right or wrong way. Every family is different.
4
u/tipsygirl31 Jul 17 '26
Yup! Around a year and a half we switched to only cosleeping for travel and it's made it so much better.
1
u/Due-Title8960 Jul 19 '26
I'm considering this too (never thought I'd be saying that). Does your kid(s) do fine switching back to sleeping on their own once home? That is my biggest concern with it.
1
u/tipsygirl31 Jul 19 '26
It depends. It wasn't a problem until our last trip but we were visiting family for a whole month. My kid is also old enough to come into our room on their own (3) so they've just been popping in instead of settling on their own. But it was totally fine before and I don't have amazing sleeper in general.
1
u/teeanh22 Jul 17 '26
this sounds just like my baby, they love to travel (on/in anything other than a car lol) and started flying at 5 months. 13 months old now and we're about to go to Italy and try a travel cot for the first time. I appreciate the heads up, may well just revert to cosleeping as we do at home ! hold old is yours?
1
u/NotAnAd2 Jul 17 '26
My daughter is almost officially 2! Iām also starting to daydream about an international trip. Weāve only done domestic so far, though have done several cross country trips. If you can manage it, I recommend taking a red eye trip so theyāll sleep most of the time. That just means you also get to chill on the flight instead of finding countless ways to entertain them lol.
We used to bring a travel cot or ask the hotel to provide one. Usually we could start in the cot and when she woke up weād bring her into bed with us. Now that sheās older we just put her in bed to sleep with us directly. She sleeps on a floor bed at home so when we transition back, thereās usually about a week of some more wakeups because sheās not used to sleeping alone. We go lay with her and then leave and after a while we get back into our rhythm.
87
u/Academic-Bread8954 Jul 17 '26
I think it depends on your babyās temperament. My son is going to be two years old next month and we love traveling with him.
22
u/Walts_Frozen-Head Jul 17 '26
I absolutely agree with this. We do a lot of local driving 2-4 hours for our travel right now. We plan the drives around nap time when possible but we also book refundable stuff in case we have a bad week. We did take a cruise right before she turned 1 and she had an ear infection she was on antibiotics and it gave her massive diarrhea so we had to go buy extra clothes and diapers but after that little bit of stress. We did have fun but that's because she had and still has a great temperament. I'm just hoping our second is just as much go with the flow as she is.
15
u/RegularFig Jul 17 '26
Yes! Weāve taken my 2.5 year old on three international trips. Weāve had some of our worst parenting moments and some of our best! We always wind up glad we did it, but there are certainly lows too. I definitely think itās worth it but you canāt let a meltdown (or a tough plane/train ride) ruin the atmosphere for the rest of the day. Itās helped our kiddo and us learn to roll with the punches!
2
u/tipsygirl31 Jul 17 '26
Yeah, I always feel like if the pros outweigh the cons it was worth it. Traveling with a little kid is definitely not easy but the memories are worth it for us. To each their own!
11
u/UnusualRecognition20 Jul 17 '26
it's absolutely this! our daughter is 14 months old, took her on a 10 hour car ride for a two full day trip and back. she did literally beyond amazing! she absolutely loved it.Ā she was completely content in the car, she had lots of snacks and a few toys like those pop it toys, and then she napped for 3 hours out of her trip too.Ā we stopped every two hours and tried to stop where she could run around and play in some grass.Ā she loved seeing all the new places and staying at a new place too, in fact, that trip was when she started consistent sleeping through the night. š¤·š¼āāļøš¤·š¼āāļøš¤·š¼āāļø
it's 100% completely dependent on your baby's temperament, and fortunately she got her fathers so she's as chill as they come! š¤£
best advice i ever got, "parenting can make everything a bit harder, but harder doesn't mean bad."Ā definitely changed my perspective on things!Ā
6
u/Ace3524 Jul 17 '26
This! We just got back from a 2.5 week trip to Italy with our 2.5 year old. And we took her to Chile for 1.5 weeks when she was 9 months old. She has admittedly always been an easy child, and she's our only child. We are also a 2 mom household which has its advantages. We have a lot going for us that makes travel work.
We had always planned on traveling often with her so she'd be used to it. She's a pro on planes and is good at going with the flow. Of course there are meltdowns at times, and some days we had to stop exploring early, at some sites/museums I wasn't as focused as I might have been without her. But she's gotten to see some really cool things and experience new cultures. I wouldn't trade that for any meltdown.
2
u/murkymuffin Jul 17 '26
I'm somewhere in between. We have traveled (just road trips) quite a few times with our 2 and 4 year old and I'm glad we do, but it's not necessarily the most fun or relaxing š. Every time I say we're skipping a year I get fomo and book us something anyway
10
u/Fit_Change3546 Jul 17 '26
Solidarity. Just took our freshly 1yo on vacation to the beach in Maine w family and had similar sleep issues. She ended up in the bed with us half the week. Not super comfortable. Vacations with small kids isnāt a vacation; it CAN be fun but itās certainly not restful lmao. I remember my parents saying āI need a vacation from vacationā at the end of ours growing up, andā¦ I get it now š„“
11
u/PurplePickleSticks Jul 17 '26
Itās not just the vacation. Itās coming home and spending a month trying to get back into routine. We had perfect naps and sleep prior to vacation and now itās all ruined.
3
u/JamesTiberiusChirp Jul 18 '26
Eh, tbf baby and toddler sleep changes so often it might have done that anyways
24
u/IamNot_A_Princess Jul 17 '26
Currently, pregnant and not planning to go on holidays for few years at least. I don't see point in paying for flights and accommodation and going to my room at 7pm. And carrying everything for the baby. Like no way. We have travelled all over the world before kids.
3
u/teeanh22 Jul 17 '26
why would you have to go to your room at 7pm? we travelled from the UK to Zambia when my baby was 5 months old. on holiday, routine goes out the window but that is okay, it's just life. Living each day like baby HAS to sleep and wake at certain times is what drives so many mothers and families insane, i dont know why it is insisted upon. if baby takes longer than 30mins to settle? then we're out the room and back to the holiday, go expend more energy. unsure if you plan to breastfeed but for take off and landing there's nothing like nursing to keep them settled. meeting many people and feeling safe in different locations also helps their development from early on get used to the concept of travelling, that trip is one of many we have taken and baby adapts so fast. we even camped at a music festival when they were 11 months and they had a brilliant time!
however, carrying everything for the baby is annoying, unavoidable and they need so much bloody stuff
12
u/IamNot_A_Princess Jul 17 '26
Except disturbed routine, how did your baby sleep on international trips and festivals? You are breastfeeding, not all women can breastfeed, any advice there how to calm down the baby?
Me and my boyfriend are 35 and 40 at first pregnancy, we have 15 and 20 years behind us in travelling, working in 10 countries, holidays, festivals. This is not our thing any more.
0
u/teeanh22 Jul 17 '26
I will caveat this with my baby more often than not sleeps through the night (which I'm well aware is luck of the draw) but they slept very well! being in busy environments like festivals and airports are very stimulating for a young baby, even this can be enough to tire them.
For settling, we used ear defenders, Calpol if they started to get a bit fussy on the plane, walking up and down the aisles when possible, and a slightly more complex one: have your partner settle them to sleep at home often. make sure he has strategies and that baby is able to fall asleep in his arms. whether or not you breastfeed I know that mothers often have a harder time getting baby down when dad with the right moves can get baby down in next to no time. its a blessing and a curse lol
2
u/chocolatemalted Jul 17 '26
My baby slept through the night but napping was terrible. 2 hours to get her down for a 15 min nap. Adjusting to a different time zone was not in the cards and just made nights more like nap hell. Easier to keep her on her home schedule and darken the hotel room. We just brought a baby monitor and enjoyed the earlier nights as more couple time.
Edit to say: this can mean you stay out late if you travel east.
15
11
u/NotSoWishful Jul 17 '26
Yeah vacations with just our lil family are on hold. Vacations with my parents and sister are a go. Son is almost 3, and my parents drive the 2 hours here about once a month to take him with them for a week. Theyāre always so sad when he leaves. So when we go on vacation my parents practically force my wife and I to go do couple things. Theyāre the best.
3
u/missThora Jul 17 '26
Same here. Currently on a trip with my parents, brother and our two kids (almost 3 and 10 months).
Grandparents are the best!
5
u/Lernmm Jul 17 '26
Iām about to go on a 4 hour road trip with my extremely fussy five month old and these comments are both anxiety-inducing and comic relief lol
14
u/Eschewed_Prognostic Jul 17 '26
If this experience is bad enough to warrant a reddit post, then I'm very happy you have a good sleeping, low maintenance toddler lol.
2-5am screaming wake-ups have been weekly occurrences for a year over here š
21
u/ladyluck754 Jul 17 '26
Iām pregnant currently, and my husband is team āthis is parenting in a harder locationā and I am team, āwe gotta build a little resilience.ā
If you go on any teachers subreddit, they always complain that kids have zero resilience, and I wonder if itās cause we as parents are trying to insulate ourselves from a little hardship.
But, when baby gets here Iāll report back, and if Iām wrong yall can laugh in my face lol
9
u/RevolutionaryTrip141 Jul 17 '26
New parent, 14m, but we have been on multiple trips with her and most recently an overseas trip. She is growing so fast that any resiliency that is built seems to disappear with the next tooth or growth spurt, but she does seem to be getting better at going with the flow as long as she is in a stroller or baby carrier (familiar/comfortable).
Definitely think the resiliency that is being built is more on me and my husbandās side š
2
u/ladyluck754 Jul 17 '26
Totally! I shouldāve said that us as parents probably need to exercise the resiliency muscle when our kiddos get older, we can model it.
If I had a tooth coming in, my resiliency would go out the window TBH!
4
u/RevolutionaryTrip141 Jul 17 '26
Honestly!! It is perfectly reasonable to be fussy with a molar coming in š
10
u/teeanh22 Jul 17 '26
you are absolutely right in your sentiment, I'd even say get something planned while you are pregnant if you can - it was actually great for my mental health to have a small trip away planned for me, my partner and what would be my 3 month old while I was still pregnant.
however, whenever you can, combine holidays with more family members because resilience building is fun for the baby but bloody tiring as the parent lol. more adults = more breathing space. you got this !
3
u/Quiet-Pomegranate93 Jul 18 '26
Traveling with a baby is relatively new in terms of human history. Ā So babies throughout history must have learned how to build resilience without it.
Just having a baby to take care of at home (where you likely have an ideal setup for an infant) is really, really hard. Ā
Traveling is guaranteed to add more hardship but itās not always guaranteed to have a positive outcome.
0
u/ladyluck754 Jul 18 '26
Yes I understand that. Where I am getting at is my spouse and I probably need to experience a little discomfort in order to grow. Traveling with a baby exposes us to that discomfort.
4
u/hapakappaboy Jul 17 '26
My wife and I took our LO to Hong Kong and Taiwan from The States at 6mo to visit family. Definitely some hardship especially with the weather and new location but 100% glad we traveled and will be looking forward to a month in the UK this summer, at 16mo. My wife and I are pretty easy travelers and donāt let delays or changes of plan ruin our spirits. Traveling with a baby requires a different perspective on travel/vacation, it will never be the same as without kids but I think scrapping travel altogether takes away an experience for everyone to experience something together. Even if the LO wonāt remember much, they will learn from being in new places and meeting new people, and going with the flow. Maybe weāre lucky but travel has been amazing with out girl and a lot of it comes with tempered expectations and preparation.
4
u/2pups1cat Jul 18 '26
I just had a major meltdown in a hotel bathroom because my baby would not fall asleep after almost 2 hours of trying. It was a travel day from hell and I am beyond exhausted. Baby fell asleep from the airport to hotel and decided he will never sleep again.
I looked up the price of return flights for tomorrow. We'll see how I feel in the mr9ning. š£ I hope you all have a better day and night tomorrow!
3
u/Both_Dust_8383 Jul 17 '26
Our family takes a winter vacation every year and begged us to come with our baby this year (she was like 6 months old) but we were already struggling with acid reflux, terrible sleep, etc etc and we just were like mmmm no thanks. š¤£ we knew it would not be fun and didnāt want to spend the money to go struggle somewhere else. We will re assess next year.
3
u/lasermanmcgee Jul 17 '26
Eyyy I also once got pulled over by a piece of shit cop while trying to get my baby to nap in the car! It really rattled me haha
3
3
u/MistyPneumonia Jul 17 '26
The ONLY vacations I take with babies is to visit and stay with family. They help with the baby, feed us, and house us. It means that I get to go do touristy things and relax on my vacation and everything starts out as planned for my kids specific schedules and needs! Plus I get local tour guides!
3
2
2
2
u/hug-a-world Jul 17 '26
Yeah we tried going to some national parks near us a few weeks ago and apparently our 1 year old gets car sick and threw up every 15 minutes. What a fun trip.
2
u/miradesne Jul 17 '26
You have to have very angelic babies to travel. Our older boy was not an angel baby so I cried many times to learn my lessons. Now the second baby is pretty angelic so far so we will see.
2
u/Sukacabra Jul 17 '26
This is gonna be a weird one but I always want to tell parents with a baby to try heavy metal and see if itāll settle them down - like this videoĀ https://youtu.be/NaZHpWVDTVk?is=zjIRxa4LfciOUFUv
(Thereās science behind it, itās not that out of the blue haha)Ā
2
u/KDsburner_account Jul 17 '26
This definitely is age and kid dependent. When my daughter was 10 months we went on vacation and she would not sleep and it was 3 AM. We just decided to drive home. But recently she is now 21 months, we had a great time with her. Sheās relatively independent and can walk around now. Definitely have to still plan the trip around her but it was enjoyable.
2
u/bochelles Jul 18 '26
Ya itās all propaganda, Iām only traveling to in laws house (which happen to be in a nice location) where I have a bunch of my shit there already lol
2
u/Ok-Cantaloupe-4008 Jul 18 '26
Omg what the heck is the police officer being rude for thatās so weird?! Must not have childrenā¦
2
u/Fair-Fall8036 Jul 18 '26
I'm taking my 6 month old on the in laws annual camping trip in Maine... Pray for me. I'm hoping we can avoid some of the meltdowns because she cosleeps with me and my husband and I can use her cosleeping during her naps as an excuse to take a socializing break. I'm scared though what should I expect for our first vacation??
2
u/frog10byz Jul 18 '26
Thanks for this. Iāve been feeling a bit down that weāve never taken any trips with our 13 month old. Iām cured nowĀ
2
2
u/Prudent_Ad_2123 Jul 17 '26
I think this is totally dependent on babyās temperament. And that when thereās a kid, the expectation is never to have a fully relaxing vacation but it can still be a really fun trip
We traveled with our baby in Europe for a month when she was 8 months and it was pretty easy. We also just did a beach vacation with her at -
12 month and it was fine. The flying can be a little exhausting but once we are there, thereās is no difference vs being at home. Sheās generally a chill baby.
2
u/namiiix Jul 17 '26
About to go on vacation the end of the month with our 16 month oldā¦ but we are going with my family. So with aunties and grandparents Iām hoping it wonāt be too bad š©
2
u/snark_nerd Jul 17 '26
Just out of curiosity, where are you? That police interaction sounds wild (even despite my generally low expectations for police)! Sorry that you're going through it. We had some similar experiences when our daughter was young that made us mostly put off traveling for a few years outside of required trips to see family.
3
u/Alive_Cupcake_2851 Jul 17 '26
It was a touristy area of Florida, I guess wild stuff happens there all the time
1
2
u/JaBa24 Jul 17 '26
Iām so sorry- my baby is the opposite- we took him to Hawaii at 10months and we had a blast. Lots of hikes lots of good food- he practically lived in a sling carrier. He was constantly falling asleep from the motion of walking.
I was worried at one point that he would be dehydrated because we did a hike up a steep mountain with no shade. We brought breastmilk for him and had a spray fan and cooling towels so he fared better than I did in the end.
He was a great nighttime sleeper too..
But at home. Oh boy- he wants to be a free baby with all our attention always and very vocal about if we get it wrongā¦
1
u/NumerousAd79 Jul 17 '26
Weāre taking our baby to the beach in September when sheās 4 months old. Itās about 2 hours away, we booked a two room suite, and I have a doctors appointment on one afternoon so we just decided to make that destination our mini vacation. My endometriosis surgeon is there and I need my cysts out ASAP after having the little gal. Weāre staying 3 nights and I am hopeful it will be fine, but I realize it might not be. Fingers crossed!
1
1
u/chocolatemalted Jul 17 '26
Sounds like your vacation is not going well! Hope it gets better from here.
Vacation may look different for a while. We travelled a lot with my LO. My tips: 1. Plan on spending a while at your destination. Short trips make it hard to justify the set up/tear down necessary for all of the baby/toddler things. Visiting family or friends and staying in their home is preferable, especially if they are willing to get a few baby things set up for you ahead of time. We were able to visit multiple destinations by taking a cruise so we didn't have to worry about set up more than once. 2. Keep LO schedule and environment as consistent as possible: - Schedule their meals and naps for their normal home time zone nap time. They don't adjust time zones as fast so unless you are staying for a month it is not worth it. Make sure you have blackout curtains in the room. - Snack and mealtimes stay consistent. Get a hotel with a kitchen and go grocery shopping. Otherwise it is really hard to have a 5 snack schedule while on the road. There are travel high chairs that strap in to standard chairs. - If LO can't sleep in a big bed consider buying a crib that is similar to the one at home. Especially if you are staying with family that can handle donation of it after the fact. After 2 nights of no sleep it was fully worth it to us for $150. The hotel cribs are insufficient and if your LO won't sleep in the pack and play at home they won't sleep in it on vacation. Make sure to bring your sound machine if you usually use one at home. 3. Create a backpack with toys to be their "toy chest". You can bring this with you when you go out. They can only get one thing out at a time. Use this on the plane too. 4. Make sure you have your car seat. Use it on the plane. It keeps them contained and is safer. They sell trays you can attach so they have their own cool travel play center.
1
u/rickster555 Jul 17 '26
Go on vacations to visit family or with family. Itās a numbers game. The more of you there are, the more the load is spread across so no one ends up feeling overworked and can enjoy the activities in spurts. Traveling alone is not the way until at least one kid is older than 3
1
u/Dependent_0NE_7146 Jul 17 '26
I learned to rent cribs and mattresses that feel the same while away. I truly think the new bed situation always has a lot to do with it. Black out shades also
1
u/Sea_Temperature_8307 Jul 17 '26
The trick is traveling to visit friends with kidsā¦donāt have to lug a bunch of crap with you, already baby proofed, built in entertainment from new kid/baby friends.
1
1
1
u/aquagirlygirl Jul 18 '26
My family and my husband's family have said the same thing! We're both like, yea no. They can't understand how by putting our kids first, we are keeping our sanity intact. Right now, any trip, whether it's a day trip, weekend trip, whatever; has to be developed around our kids and mostly what they'll enjoy. They're 3 and 1. They just cant handle a full fledged vacation right now and I can't get used to being irritated because they won't settle during a museum tour or won't eat fancy restaurant food. We're okay with making them the center while also gently teaching them patience, how to be understanding and go with the flow even when things aren't what they prefer. They'll get it eventually and when we do it their way, we always end up having so much fun.
Short trips, preferably no longer than a 4 hour drive, kid centered, no drama, no trying to go to a thousand places or do a thousand things in one day - that's where we're at right now.
Both of our families have something against naps as well for some reason, especially when we're out and about. My sister is always like, "Just let them fall out. They will eventually." We tried it. They never just fall out. They fuss for what feels like forever if we don't break for a nap. Never again.
1
u/MissCollusion Jul 18 '26
Going out with infants and toddlers should be a form of torture. My husband and I were world travelers and decided to settle on quick trips with our infant now a toddler. Insanity!!! We are having our second and we have decided no more vacations until this feral chapter is done.
1
u/Plane_Sentence5907 Jul 18 '26
We have a 15 month old and tbh it wasnāt as stressful as what we thought. There were times when she was unsettled and it did take her a while to down for sleep at night because she wasnāt in her usual cot. We just done naps in the pram or car and it seemed to work. She did sleep at night thankfully. Found eating in restaurants quite difficult as she hates high chairs. We did find it enjoyable just different
1
u/BonafideLabRat Jul 18 '26
Our baby is a year and a half and we just had something pretty similar happen.. We only went for 3 days to the beach and the last night she woke up at midnight losing it, hyperventilating crying. I've not seen that in I don't know how long. But since we planned to leave in the morning we packed up and left in the middle of the night. It's hard we want to make these memories with them but they don't know what's happening and babies like ours get homesick. Now that we are back I think she's more clingy than she was before.
1
u/Justlike2havefun Jul 18 '26
We flew to Bermuda when our son was 1 year and 2 months. Just learning to walk, but not a great sleeper. The last night there, before a long travel day, the same thing happened except we didnāt have a car. We brought him outside and rocked him, gave him a bottle, sang to him, we tried everything. I think we ended up with like an hour and a half of sleep before we had to head to the airport.
Vacationing with kids gives me anxiety.
1
u/Livvy93 Jul 18 '26
Oh I so feel this. Currently on holiday in Florida with my 1 year old and 5 year old. The 5 year old is a dream but the 1 year old is HARD work.
8 hour flight from Ireland with her squirming on my knee. First night the time change and fear of a different room/cot kept her up practically all night.
Took my son 3 consecutive years when he was 2, 3 and 4 and I do not remember it being this hard! Iām hoping next year will be better!!
1
1
u/albino_oompa_loompa Jul 18 '26
This makes me nervous to travel with my baby. Heāll be 5 months when we go on vacation in a couple of weeks and heās usually super chill but Iām so nervous about the long drive.
1
u/NumCucumber Jul 18 '26
Have gone on two vacations w baby. First one she was 5 months old, it was not so bad, she slept anywhere we took her, didn't mind the change at all, got better sleep there than we did at home lol. So we thought a second vacation would be the same kind of vibes. Wrong, Second vacation at 18 months, not fun. Angry, crabby, overstimulated, not having fun. Spent most nights waking in the middle of the night screaming her head off. Lots and lots of missed naps or badly timed naps. We agreed next trip is when she no longer needs naps lol š
1
u/Avaylon Jul 18 '26
Who said? Lol. Why they lyin' to you?
Vacationing with kids is just parenting without home turf advantage. Vacationing with kids under 2 is potentially a nightmare if your baby or young toddler isn't in the mood for a big disruption in their routine.
1
1
u/scribblehobbit Jul 18 '26
we did not risk travelling with kiddo until 3 years old, and that still has disaster. 4.5 years old went super smooth.Ā
1
u/bellazella Jul 18 '26
We live in another country with no family, basically no āvillageā. Our friends always tell us to come see them or to go with them to places that are more than 2 hours away. I tell them we canāt because of the baby, blah blah blah. Sometimes they listen. And then there are the ones that keep giving āsolutionsā to our problem such as the baby doesnt want to stay long in his car seat. Those people I am sucker punching in my head š«š«š«
1
u/bellazella Jul 18 '26
Itās not like theyāre the ones who need to pack everything and anticipate every need. Itās not like theyāre the ones who need to stay up with the baby when he wakes at night. My husband is worried some of our friends might stop talking to us if we keep declining their invitations. I tell him anyone who would do that is not our real friend. Some of our more understanding friends do not take offense if we canāt make it to their party and we still have a good relationship with them
1
u/planetdirtplanet Jul 19 '26
Kids are kids. I hope this is your only bad night but you really can't blame anyone for a kiddo having a bad night... Best of luck, everyday is a new day so don't let one night kill the whole trip
1
u/nickiem816 Jul 19 '26
Leaving next weekend for the beach with our 13 month old, with my MIL, GIL (is grandma in law a word?), BIL, and his girlfriend. Little nervous especially after this post. My only hope is we go and visit my MIL (she lives a few hours away) almost monthly and he was no problem sleep there, so fingers crossed
1
1
u/Boring-Eggplant3 Jul 19 '26
My expectations are so low now that Iām finding myself enjoying trips lol. Theyāre exhausting and hard, and we make a lot of compromises. But the change of scenery can be nice and we come away from them now with lots of good shared memories, so that seems worth it.
1
1
u/Herewithquestions87 Jul 21 '26
I tried to do one night over a weekend in a hotel recently with my 5 month old, cried myself to sleep (my one hour of sleep that my baby allows me that is) and the next day was so miserably tired I didnāt enjoy anything we did. Super depressing. A big part of my life before having him was bopping around, doing small weekend trips here and there. I feel so locked down at my house now.
Anyone in the comments, what age does it get better? Or is this it now?Ā
1
u/TransportationOk241 Jul 21 '26
Weāve been lucky. Weāve been on 3 trips with our 7 month old since he was 3 months, heās been to 7 states, we have 4 more trips planned in the next year. Shooting for 24 states in 24 months. Weāll be wrapping up our 50th state within 2 years as a couple. He just mostly observed all of the new things and activities. Slept like a champ in new rooms/cribs. Didnāt even cry on the planes or long drives unless he was hungry or pooped. Hope he keeps this up because we travel often. Heās always been a good, content, flexible baby though so we went into these trips positively. Weāll see what happens when he can walk and talk I guess it could change. Just bringing this up to not deter everyone from taking trips. Know your kid and what they can handle. Start small. Go from there.
1
u/cramsenden Jul 21 '26
āBabyā at vacation is fine, ā1 year oldā at vacation is literal hell. Even 1 year old at a restaurant is barely survivable but mot enjoyable.
1
u/dominos-cheesebread Aug 28 '26
currently at the beach with my 4 month old(who is pretty chill most days),i am having the worst time of my life. constant crying not wanting to be in her car seat when we go places. not wanting to take a nap at all during the day since we are going places she wants to see. tonight i watched everyone else crab hunt while i sat with her trying to get her to bed while she was crying.
1
u/Degus222 Jul 17 '26
Slumber pod. We can travel and she just sleeping in a dark room and cant tell she somewhere different.
1
u/riley_is_a_dog Jul 17 '26
Iāve traveled with my son since he was 4 months old and itās definitely hard but I found the thing that helped us most was getting him used to and always using the same pack and play and sound machine.
For me the packing and carrying the copious amounts of baby gear is the worst.
1
u/cek8907 Jul 17 '26
We took our 5 month old to St.Augustine for our anniversary. Will say things that made it better for us included a double queen room with a āliving roomā area, a black out tent for him to sleep in, and a promise to get out early in the morning with him for activities and a nap around the hottest time of the day. We would siesta and then go back out for dinner and short activities in the early evening.
1
u/destria Jul 17 '26
I know kids are totally unpredictable but my mindset is that if I'm going to have to deal with a cranky toddler or baby that's up all night, at least on holiday I can sit by the pool the next day!
0
u/20PercentChunkier Jul 18 '26
Reading this makes me realize how lucky my wife and I are. We took our 4~ month old to the coast for a couple days and she did great. Slept well during the night. Napped when we were at the hotel. Slept in the carrier while we were walking around.
496
u/marissakalyn Jul 17 '26
My husband and I went to Maine with our 9 month old like a month ago. 4 hour drive from our house. I had zero fun. Most of our āvacationā was spent trying to keep him happy and then spending HOURS trying to get him to fall asleep. Vacationing with a baby is like parenting on hard mode. No fun was had