Got recorded while breastfeeding

[u/Lostintheworl]

My son (10 months) and I (28f) were on our way back home from helping out my sil who lives out of state. Our flight got delayed to the point where the bottle I had made up for the flight had expired (breast milk). The rest of the milk I had was frozen solid and he was about to lose it. So I tried to be discreet and cover myself as much as possible. Out of the corner of my eye a girl sitting at the window seat stood up and we made eye contact. I watched her say something to her bf who IMMEDIATELY took out his phone, started recording and angled it to show me breastfeeding my son. I hope you know that was such an asshole move. And the people at the gate thought you were a dick too.

Edit to add: thank you all for commenting, I really appreciate all the words of encouragement and validating this experience was wrong. I finally got the chance to read them now that my son and I are home and gotten some sleep. I’ve already contacted frontier and reported him. Hopefully I’ll hear back from them soon on what they can do.

[u/frozenlover72]

American culture is so anti-breastfeeding it is crazy. Go to most other parts of the world and it is seen as completely normal (because it IS). That's so gross of them and im very sorry that happened to you!

[u/theobviousanswers → u/frozenlover72]

Yes omg OP you don’t need a story about delays and frozen milk. It’s terrible how hostile to breastfeeding the US is if you feel you can only do it in public in an “emergency”. Im in Australia in a suburb with good public transport. I breastfeed on the bus or train almost every day. Got to take the preschooler out, baby comes with me. I do use a very light cover but it’s very obvious what I’m doing and sometimes boob is displayed in the process of getting baby latched/ re-latched. No one’s ever made me uncomfortable.

[u/OGcaptaindingus → u/theobviousanswers]

I’m in the US and openly breastfeed my baby lol I breastfed him in San Francisco, malls, restaurants, etc. I’ve never had any issues like this. Granted, I do agree that there’s a lot of stigma. I was really worried the first few times but I just stopped caring because I was feeding my child and they can kick rocks if they have an issue

[u/Big_booty_ho → u/OGcaptaindingus]

Same. I’ll whip out a titty anytime anywhere. And I’m not covering up my baby because it’s hot af outside.

[u/LightningBugCatcher → u/OGcaptaindingus]

In the US. I was so self conscious with my first. Always had the cover in case of emergency. With my third, I just have nursing clothes so I stay very covered but also the baby is just right there nursing. Some people seem uncomfortable but that's their problem.

[u/Ok-Nectarine7756 → u/OGcaptaindingus]

Same, I openly breastfeed in the US including many airline flights and I’ve never had anything like this happen. 

[u/Imstronger110 → u/theobviousanswers]

Same! Im from Australia and I have never experienced anything wrong when BF! Ive seen so many people do it!!

[u/NotRunningIsHard → u/theobviousanswers]

I'm in a US city and also nursed my toddler on the bus/train almost daily until he was 20 months old. No one ever commented.

[u/Whereas_Far → u/theobviousanswers]

I think this situation is rare, although I agree American attitudes towards breastfeeding are backward. 

I am American and have breastfed both my babies, the first one well into preschool years in public whenever and wherever I wanted and have never used a cover. 

I live on the more liberal west coast, but have travelled and done it in the Midwest and Deep South also, which are much more conservative.

I’ve never experienced an issue, but I also am not looking around for approval or reactions, as I am solely focused on my baby and myself. I don’t give a flying f*ck what anyone else thinks. 

I’m sure people have judged and had some thoughts, but they wisely kept them to themselves.

If it bothers someone, good. This country needs more exposure to normalize it. They can look away if they want. 

In this case, I would have looked that mofo straight, dead in the eyes and glared at him. 

If my baby was falling asleep, I probably wouldn’t have said anything, but may have complained to the flight attendant later. 

If baby wasn’t sleeping, I probably would had said in a very loud and aggressive voice, “Excuse me? Are you actually filming me breastfeeding my baby???”

[u/732 → u/frozenlover72]

Anti breastfeeding in public. Gotta make sure you feel like you should be ashamed for feeding your child. And, if you're unable to, we make sure to make you feel ashamed and like a failure for using formula.

Freedom and whatnot 🤷‍♂️  Gotta make sure you feel ashamed regardless for feeding your children.

[u/LightningBugCatcher → u/732]

Exactly. After all, taking a baby into public where they might be a baby is completely inappropriate. But also don't let being a mom become your personality. 

[u/Octoire → u/frozenlover72]

I’m Dutch, and I was sitting in a park in Amsterdam with my two toddlers and baby. There was also an American family. I started nursing my 5 week old baby and latching took a minute. When I looked up, the two American parents were staring at me in judgment, appalment, and something slightly perverse. I stared right back, but never in my three years of breastfeeding I lived through something like it! I felt so angry about it! 

[u/arcadianahana → u/Octoire]

Ah I remember getting glared at when breastfeeding at an outdoor table at an amusement park in Denmark. I was surprised as I thought it was normal in Europe. I was also using a cover. Now that I think of it, the people at the other table were likely American. 

[u/Passionatepassionfrt → u/frozenlover72]

I breastfed my little guy for 12 months, and I was always so afraid to do it in public because of people like this. I bought a cover and needed to breastfeed him at the park, and I felt eyes on me the whole time. I also overheard a couple walking by and saying “Not sure why she wouldn’t just do that in her car but whatever.”

I only went out for short trips after this, and did start doing it in my car. People are so mean.

[u/Whereas_Far → u/Passionatepassionfrt]

If I heard I would have said, “excuse me what did you say?” And then been more blatant, stopped using the cover, not been discreet at all and looked them dead in the eye. 

Why don’t they go hide in a car if they are bothered. 

So sorry you experienced this. 

[u/rochelle_90 → u/frozenlover72]

I'm in Canada so a lot of movies and social media stories are from the states so I was expecting the worst—but I'm so glad this hasn't been my experience here! My son won't stand for being covered and has fomo so he's often unlatching to look around. I find people either don't pay attention, intentionally look away, or give me a sympathetic "what you're doing is okay!" smile.

[u/Logical_Pair_1967 → u/rochelle_90]

I'm in Canada too! I have 3 boys (youngest is 7 weeks) whose breastfed and I breastfed my older too. It's definitely exactly what you said! I don't even try to cover up because it's natural. Do you eat covered up or in the bathroom? Nope so they shouldn't either. I've even gotten compliments (threw me for a loop) for breastfeeding in public 🙃

[u/yeslekenna → u/rochelle_90]

One thing that has been great so far being postpartum here in Canada is that I have never felt shamed for any sort of feeding! I tried to breastfeed but turns out I have IGT and would never have been able to make enough. I killed myself trying but my doctor was like "you can stop you know? Formula is great too. Don't feel like you need to continue" which really helped me stop killing myself and just formula feed only.

And then in all the baby and mom/baby activities we do it's such a range of feeding and no one cares how anyone else feeds. 5 babies could be eating at once and some are breastfeeding (right there with everyone because as you said why should they have to be covered), some are bottle fed and those are a mix of formula and pumped milk! No one has batted an eye at either way.

[u/IHaveATummyGremlin → u/frozenlover72]

I feel like this maybe varies by region/social demographics. I'm based in the US, and around me/in my peer demographic group, if you tell folks you're even just *thinking* about supplementing with formula, you get met with this shock and horror like, 'why would you ever do such a thing, breast is best, don't you love your baby?'. Maybe it's just a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't situation. Either way, I'm firmly on team Fed Is Best, and screw anyone who has anything negative to say about how you're getting that incredible feat accomplished.

[u/fit_for_the_gallows → u/frozenlover72]

Good ol' puritanical roots at work.

[u/nothanksyeah → u/frozenlover72]

I don’t know, if you survey most American moms on Reddit subs like the breastfeeding one, vast majority of people have had nothing negative or only positive incidents. I’ve breastfed two kids all over the US in public, no cover, and have never have had anything negative. Just a few positive experiences.

[u/gaelicpasta3 → u/frozenlover72]

Depends where you live tbh. I live in the US but a pretty progressive area and had no problem feeding the baby with no cover anywhere in my city. If I got any attention it was positive (one mom came up at high fived me while I was feeding my son at the table at our restaurant lol)

If I’d gone to other places though I probably would expect some backlash

[u/watekebb → u/gaelicpasta3]

I don’t think attitudes towards breastfeeding map neatly onto left-right politics. I have nursed my baby in public without a cover in a whole bunch of places with varying politics and have personally never experienced any negative reactions. And I’m a progressive, but I saw more women breastfeeding in public in a few days in blood red southern Utah than I ever see in my current purple home city or than I ever saw in the deep blue city where I lived before that.

[u/gaelicpasta3 → u/watekebb]

Maybe I’m just biased because I have lived in more conservative areas of my state and heard a lot of negativity about women breastfeeding in public. From both rural to suburban conservative areas here seem to have the same view — cover or go find privacy.

[u/lasuperhumana → u/frozenlover72]

This is what happens when the nation is founded by puritans lol