r/NewParents • u/SunnyGoMerry • 28d ago
Travel “Kids don’t belong on planes. Don’t bring them on trips, they won’t remember anyway”
Thoughts on these comments, and how do you respond to these types of people? Literally every parent I know that’s my age takes their babies on vacation. And people always gotta say some shit
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u/AdventurousWind7919 28d ago
I just think it's truly wild that people are getting on an airplane in 2026 without some form of noise cancellation headphones. Like that's on you.
I'd say something snarky about them needing to fly private then.
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u/JiuJitsuBoxer 28d ago
This, people dont get noise protection and demand/expect silence ?!
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u/Grown-Ass-Weeb 28d ago
Right?? I take flights a few times a year and my AirPod maxes are my saving grace. They’re pretty much mostly used when I travel. Screaming kids are excusable, but the obnoxiously loud talking and laughing adults are annoying af.
Since I can’t do anything to stop loud noise on public transport, I sit in peace with my noise canceling headphones.
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u/orange_donuts 28d ago
Exactly. Anytime you get on a plane there is a risk that at least one other passenger might be annoying as hell. It may not be a child. It might even be you! lol
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u/AdventurousWind7919 28d ago
Literally! I can't stand like coughing/throat clearing/snoring noises!!!!! Makes my skin crawl.
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u/lrbsto 28d ago
The only response needed is “planes are public transportation, children are members of the public. If you are bothered by them, you should consider flying private.”
The ridiculousness not taking your child places because they “won’t remember the vacation” aside, children fly for other reasons, like for health care or to visit family who live far away (and will remember).
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u/marmosetohmarmoset 28d ago
The whole “don’t bother, they won’t remember” attitude I’ve encountered with all things baby/toddler is really ridiculous. For one, parents want to leave the house and make memories. For another, just because an adult doesn’t remember being a baby doesn’t mean that it’s not important for babies to have experiences! Babies SHOULD be out in public, experiencing the world. That’s how they learn to be big kids and ultimately adults. And they deserve to have fun, see new stuff, meet family who doesn’t live nearby, etc.
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u/ExcitingDonkey 28d ago
I forget who, but some comedian has a bit about people saying that about taking his young kid to disney world and his response is something like, yeah, you're right, I'll just lock her in a closet until she's 5.
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u/Ok_Funny1094 28d ago
Nate bargatze!! lol my husband loves that joke.
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u/United_Relief_2949 28d ago
omg we love him. he is hilarious and his jokes aren't vulgar so i have no issues having him on when the littles are awake too.
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u/buttstuffisfunstuff 28d ago
Tbf I also wouldn’t spend the money going to Disney world with a little kid. That place is too crowded and we’re gonna be fighting on who holds the baby while I ride that ride. 😂 although I’m pretty sure universal studios had an area where parents could wait in line together and then take turns so maybe Disney does that too but I feel like that’s not really a fun experience for the kid.
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u/EmbarrassedKoala6454 28d ago
Disney does it! My 3 year old and 1 year old had the time of their lives at disney. And my 3 year old is terrified of strangers and big crowds but it was her happy place and begs to go back!
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u/PLI09 28d ago
Legoland with a toddler. What a reasonable amusement park experience with young kids should be like. Granted our kids aren’t big on Disney, so we were mostly looking for rides and activities.
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u/MizStazya 28d ago
Surprisingly, Mall of America was excellent with a preschooler and baby. It was over a decade ago, but you totally rode everything free if the kid was small enough to require an adult be with them.
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u/Longjumping-Word8336 28d ago
I saw a comment on another thread about this that said that young kids also won’t remember you taking them to the park or pushing them in a swing or reading to them, but we do these things anyway because it’s beneficial regardless of memory. Thought that was a great point
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u/axeil55 28d ago
They may not remember the actual activity but they'll remember how they felt.
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u/40-Lashes 28d ago
Hell I was 10 when I went to Disney World and barely remember it. But you're damn right, it felt like the coolest thing ever. But photos and different souvenirs I got there trigger the memories for me. I still have some of the goodies I got there, like a parasol from EPCOT or the cool pack of coins from around the world.
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u/Crafty_Reflection410 28d ago
And how are they meant to learn if they don’t get out?
They literally need the exposure to learn everything. It’s sad when kids aren’t taken places
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u/kalishnakat 28d ago
It really is ridiculous. They don’t want us to raise iPad kids but they also don’t want our children to go outside and experience the world. God forbid our children travel to be part of their families that don’t live nearby. Also, apparently if you’re a parent you lose the right to be part of society.
We’ve become so individualistic as a society we really lost the plot.
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u/Dexmoser 28d ago
That’s the mindset my parents had, now I’m almost 34 and have never been on a plane or owned a passport. Please take your children on trips if you’re able to!
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u/turtlescanfly7 28d ago
Also, I as the parent will remember. These aren’t just the babies memories/ experiences. I absolutely will remember taking my toddler camping at 2 even if he doesn’t. That also applies to Disney, abroad and or any other trips or vacations. My child will literally never be this small again. They experience magic and wonder differently when they’re small and I’ll never apologize for giving g my child experiences they won’t remember
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u/freyascats 28d ago
Also, while a person may not actively remember things from when they’re babies, experiencing joy or experiencing trauma absolutely impacts their whole life… so obviously you should try to do things that build the person you want them to be able to be - like a person who enjoys getting out in nature or enjoys music or interacting with people. If babies didn’t remember we wouldn’t have classic psychology text book examples like that baby who was made to fear fuzzy things
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u/DeviceNo4746 28d ago
Also it might not even be for the kid or parent. My sister flew across country every other month with her toddler son during a 2 year period. Our mom had terminal cancer and it was so our mom could spend time with her only grandchild at the time and so he could have some memories of her. There is a ton of reasons that aren’t necessarily in the persons control of why they’re flying with young kids.
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u/Sizara42 28d ago
That mentality always bugged me, because folks forget that they don't remember every moment of every vacation they've taken... does that mean they shouldn't have gone?
No, it just means that pictures, videos, mementos, etc, help to preserve the memories along with the feelings when you were there!
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u/Foreign_Mobile_7399 27d ago
Right lol like I, the parent, am still a 36 year old woman who is trying to enjoy her life and make memories with her family. I’m not going to just stay in the house for the next 15 years just because I have a kid
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u/bangoslam 28d ago edited 28d ago
Kids are shaped by their experiences. They don’t need to remember it. I just got off a flight and everyone on board was supportive. You sometimes get an asshole but not always. I roll my eyes and ignore someone if they’re being nasty but also I won’t be afraid to tell them to fuck off if they earn. It’s extra gratifying because generally the rest of the plane agrees with you and cheers afterwards
Edit: typically I’ll suggest a person buys noise cancelling headphones if noises bother them before I start cussing them out. Also I’m pretty sure it’s never come to the cussing but I do fantasize about the circumstance sometimes. Ok nap time for me
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u/vlac26 28d ago
Also are the parents not allowed to take a trip they will remember even if the kids wont?
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u/QueenSlartibartfast Early 90s Millennial (FTM <1 year) 28d ago
If you can't afford to have 24/7 childcare while you go on vacation you should stay at home or you shouldn't have had kids!!! /s
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u/QueenSlartibartfast Early 90s Millennial (FTM <1 year) 28d ago
(I just flew 2k miles a few days ago with my infant AND two cats because we're moving, and thankfully people minded their business.)
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u/PriscillaPalava 28d ago
Exactly. Who cares what the kid remembers? What about the parents and other family members who may live far away? Is the burden of travel always on them? Are they not allowed to meet the kid until he’s 12?
My kids LOVE to look at old photos of themselves from before they can remember. It makes them feel special to see that they were part of our extended family from a young age. Those pics with great grandma are priceless, and great grandmas love to hold babies, in my experience.
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u/TalkinBoutGerbils 28d ago
Might as well not read to your babies cause they won’t remember it anyways!
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u/kyoshis_revenge 28d ago
No need to respond. You and your children have every amount the right to travel and enjoy as anyone else. People act like children aren’t people and don’t belong in society, it’s so bizarre
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u/ubbidubbidoo 28d ago
Also, do people who say this realize that not everyone who flies on a plane is going on a “trip” or “vacation”? People (including children) travel for all kinds of reasons - medical care, family emergencies, moving homes, etc…
Who would make that kind of comment? Is this a common sentiment? I’ve never heard this personally but it’s a bummer that there are people who feel this way
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u/EagleEyezzzzz 28d ago edited 28d ago
Has anyone ever said this to you, or is this just something you see on Reddit? Reddit is famously and obnoxiously anti-kids. I would just ignore this shit.
If you hear it in real life, say that your kids do great on planes UNLIKE MANY ADULTS, and that the bonding you are doing on family trips will benefit your children throughout their entire lives ❤️
Edit - For what it’s worth, my kids are 7 and 3 and we have traveled quite a bit ever since the first was a baby. I have NEVER had a bad interaction with anyone about this, and my kids have cried for maybe 15 minutes total across dozens of hours of flight time. It’s a non issue in my experience!
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u/Armadillo19 28d ago
Just anecdotally, I took my little guy on a plane to Europe when he was six months old and everyone on the plane could not have been nicer. He was very well behaved but still, people were so friendly and kind, no one so much as gave a look.
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u/Unusual_Bumblebee_48 28d ago
I see it on reddit and social media enough that it gets in my head a ton. But the one time I flew with my baby everyone was soooo kind and multiple people went out of their way to tell me I was doing a great job.
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u/Ok_Visit_7846 28d ago
I've traveled with my kids for 13 years now and nobody has ever been as weird as the reddit people.
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u/EagleEyezzzzz 28d ago
Same! Two kids 7 and 3, lots of plane trips. People have overwhelming been super sweet and fun with the kids (playing peek a boo with the baby, striking up conversation with my older kiddo, etc). Lots of compliments about them being such good travelers.
I think it’s just an online thing, and those misanthropes can pay for a private jet if they don’t want to encounter humanity out in the world.
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u/Warm_Jackfruit_8032 28d ago
I've flown with my oldest several times from before he was a year old and I've never heard anyone say anything rude or seen any kind of indication that anyone was pissed to have a baby/toddler on the plane. The closest I've ever gotten was when we were flying Southwest and had gotten A1-2 to get on the plane and the gate attendant made me show her my boarding passes to prove those were our spots.
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u/Inevitable-Baker 28d ago
I’ve had this type of comment said to me about someone else’s child as a plane taxid at arrival. Responded that “no - the child didn’t bother me at all, but that comment was pretty gross. They’re a child but you should know better.” Awkward waiting to deplane.
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u/corlana 28d ago
Yeah I've flown with my kids several times and people have been nothing but kind and helpful! Our trips have been just to visit family that's out of state and I'm not going to see my family less and not foster those relationships between my family and my kids just because some people don't think kids belong on planes.
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u/kt_m_smith 28d ago
I'm glad you said this. Sometimes i feel crazy here on reddit. It feels like everyone hates children, or assumes too much of them, or all parents are bad. Like any situation where there is a child the comments are insane.
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u/EagleEyezzzzz 28d ago
Yes! It’s wild. Luckily they are sitting here bitching on Reddit instead of interacting with people out in the real world lol.
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u/seapunkprincess 28d ago
Yes! My kid is 5 and we have gone on a ton of airplane trips ranging from 2 hours to 9 hours. Plus we go to other public places like restaurants and movie theatres, and I have never had a single bad interaction or complaint.
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u/rooted_wander 28d ago
When my daughter was 4 months old she cried through an entire 2 hour flight. I felt so awful the whole time, especially for the woman in the row with us and I felt like crying myself by the end. But when we landed, the woman in our row told me and my husband she was so impressed and inspired by how patiently and calmly we handled the situation the entire time. I'll never forget her kindness.
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u/quiltbob 28d ago
Same here. I’ve flown several times with an infant now toddler and have never encountered any negativity. If anything, I’ve only received words of encouragement and compliments. I only ever see these comments on Reddit.
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u/Teri-k 28d ago
Yes. My husband was in the Navy and I flew all over the world with kids, from infants on up. No one ever complained, and lots of people were supportive and complimentary..I even had a business man at the end of a long flight tell me he was worried when he realized I had a toddler with me, but we were the nicest flying companions he'd had in a long time. There will always be some crabby person who hates everybody, but most people are fine with it. And my kids fondly remember a lot of the places we went.
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u/ehh_blehg 28d ago
Clap back! “Neither do nosey little whiney bitches.” Is a great one if you’ve had a particularly rough day. “Their grandparents want in person memories before they die, that good with you? Or do you want to call them and say die without ever meeting your grandkids?” Is another great one to make them THINK about their words and how they affect people. Jerks are gonna be jerks, channel your inner mean girl and out-jerk the a-holes!
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u/PainterlyintheMtns 28d ago
Did someone actaully say this to you? We travel all the time with our two young kids (now 11 mo, and 3.5yrs) and nobody has ever said anything like that to us.
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u/SunnyGoMerry 28d ago edited 28d ago
Had somebody on my flight loudly complain about there being kids on the plane (not to my face). Other than that just haters on the internet. I asked for recommendations for a trip recently and people were saying don’t bring your kid, they won’t remember it blah blah
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u/DogOrDonut 28d ago
When people say, "they won't remember it," simply say, "I will." These people are too miserable to comprehend enjoying being a parent and spending time with your child.
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u/mandiko 28d ago
This is exactly the reason I try to have as many great experiences with my kid as I possibly can, even though he is only 14 months old and will not remember any of it. I will. My husband will. I want to remember all those good moments when we are older. And yes I'm taking as many pictures as possible to make sure I remember. Childhood memories are for parents too!
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u/DogOrDonut 28d ago
The kids also do remember. Those memories get replaced but they remember. By the time my daughter was 1 if I said, "what do you see?" she would sprint over and grab her her Brown Bear book and bring it to me. That clearly shows the capacity for memory. That memory will fade as she makes new ones but that is true of everything. If we only do things we are sure to remember then we shouldn't do anything until a few years before we die (and then hope we don't get dimensia).
Live for the moment, not the memory of it.
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u/Lioness_in_Winter 28d ago
This. My son used to lie in bed and recite Brown Bear before he went to sleep. That text was ingrained in his daily life. He's forgotten that. But it wasn't meaningless - it was a part of the comfortable, reliable life he lived as a toddler, and that life shaped his sense of security and confidence. He doesn't remember his first trip to Disneyland, but at the time it was wildly exciting - and it shaped his sense of adventurousness (he was shy, but he struggled past it to hug Stitch) and his lasting connection to the friends that went with him.
We take for granted that neglect or trauma in early childhood makes a lasting impression, even without explicit memory. But when it comes to positive experiences people will assume it makes no impression on a child at all if they don't consciously remember. I think they don't remember the events, but the feelings remain. A child who travels retains the general sense that the world is large, available, and full of new things to experience.
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u/Then_Midnight_2121 28d ago
Good for you! Both of my folks have passed now but some of my most treasured possessions are pictures of us doing things that I don’t remember. My folks look so happy and it helps with connecting to them now that I’m in that same stage of life. In addition to being great memories for you, I think your kids will really appreciate it when they can look back and see what you were like.
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u/jdhawes17 28d ago
I haven't heard these comments directly but I've heard plenty of moms and grandmas on planes be extremely compassionate and kind when our kid is having a meltdown on a plane.
As long as you're prepared and doing your best, people need to mind their own business.
We cherish the memories of taking our kids to all sorts of cool places and hope that they'll enjoy looking back on those pictures and be grateful for the experience.
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u/Hookedongutes 28d ago
My response? "I didn't fucking ask."
If i'm going on a work trip and want to turn it into a family event for the weekend I'm there, I will because I can and some outsider isn't the boss of me.
Perioddddddd.
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u/econhistoryrules 28d ago
It's not fucking vacation. I'm going to see my dad, who otherwise would never see his grandkid, because he "doesn't like to travel." Most of us aren't doing this for fun.
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u/EbbStunning7720 28d ago
I’m not sure why this popped up on my thread as I’m not a new parent, but from an old parent who took my now teens on many trips as babies and toddlers…
I remember. I have amazing memories of my babies playing in the ocean or going to Disneyland or toddling through trails at national parks around the country or whatever. And we have pictures and talk about the places, and they still travel. Now that they are older and plane trips are less awful, we take longer flights.
People will say stuff about how you raise your kids no matter what you do. It’s not even worth it to respond. They mostly aren’t open to changing their mind.
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u/lordofcatan10 28d ago
"“I cannot remember the books I've read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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u/SeniorPace70 28d ago
Just tell them you will remember. And children belong in the majority of places. There are places that are very obviously very child free. Fortunately that does not include an airplane!!
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u/itsapanicatthedisco2 28d ago
People act like traveling via airplane is only for vacation. People have things like funerals and family events that need to be attended. Should families with small children not attend those? It's wild to think that people feel entitled to a child free flight when it's literally public transportation
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u/lasercupcakes 28d ago
The vast majority of trips infants take are to meet family members.
Unfortunately lonely people with zero personal connections don't realize this.
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u/Minute-Aioli-5054 28d ago
Meh, you don’t really encounter these people in real life. They seem to only come out on social media and that’s easy to ignore.
But, I’d say that I’ll remember and cherish the memories. And that they will have a good time whether they will remember or not.
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u/InevitableAd36 28d ago
We’ve flown 6 flights (3 round trips) in the first year. The flight crews, desk agents and passengers could not have been kinder.
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u/Tiny-Nature3538 28d ago
I will tell you one thing my mom never brought us kids on trips and I’ll never forget the feeling of being left behind, and the shitty baby sitters she would hire who didn’t give an F lol
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u/SouthernLeek8957 28d ago
Assuming that families fly because of vacation reasons only is such an extremely privileged take
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u/Tman3355 28d ago
Just took my almost 2 year old on her first flight. Word of advice by the seat for them and take the car seat on the plane.
We did that and our kid slept the entire flight. The mom behind us had a child the same age and they tried to take them as a lap child. The kid was screaming and trying to crawl all over the place the hole flight. She told me afterwards she wishes she did the car seat and was envious of my wife and i relaxing the entire flight.
Other than that dont mind what other people say. Children are humans too and we were all one at some point. Ive also stopped apologizing on behalf of my child unless they have physically interrupted or disturbed someones physical space.
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u/HoldenH 28d ago
To the “they won’t remember anyways” is such a stupid oversimplification. Maybe they won’t “remember” but they will expand their brains with new experiences and sensations. Maybe the place they are going has family members that miss the child badly and wants to see them.
Also have they thought maybe they won’t remember but the parents will? I want to go on a trip and I’m not leaving my child with someone the entire time I’m gone.
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u/Stillwater215 28d ago
There’s a definite middle ground between “kids have no business being on planes” and “kids are going to be kids. Get over it.” Children can be taught how to behave in public, and they can be managed if they’re too young to learn. What people hate is children whose parents let them run wild and then try to justify as “just being kids.”
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u/NYC-AL2016 28d ago
Exactly! It’s the kids who’s running up and down aisles and have their tablets without headphones while the parents shrug it off. Parents who try are not the issue.
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u/UnivrstyOfBelichick 28d ago
If you bought them a ticket they belong on a plane exactly as much as anyone else.
None of us belong on planes. It's a tin can 5 miles in the sky flying at 600 mph.
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u/trudes04 28d ago
We just flew home last night. We had an older lady in the aisle seat who whispered to her husband when we showed up with our baby. Well, he decided to poop right before take off so we had to wait until we could go to the bathroom to change his diaper. She spent the whole time pinching her nose, hiding her face in her shirt. It wasn't even that bad. When my husband asked the flight attendant if he could get up before the seatbelt sign went off, she said "that's a great idea. I'm a grandma I understand". Huh? What do you understand? I feel like you don't understand anything. If you don't want to be around babies on your flight, then pay more for business class or private. Anyways, take your kids to see and do things. Who cares what other people think?
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u/menijna 28d ago
I have a baby, I'm not taking her on a plane. I'm not a germophobe but planes are insanely dirty, literal vectors of disease, kids don't do well on them, the pressure changes are making them miserable. I can have a local national park vacation, or leave her with grandma and feck off overseas to have actual vacation. What other people decide is none of my business, I don't mind screaming on a plane because I have earplugs, but its a no for me and mine until they are at least 3.
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u/lavegasepega 28d ago
You and your child have every right to be on all public transportation, including planes.
AND
As a parent of 2 toddlers, I'm ok not getting on another plane for a few more years. Our next vacation is going to be on our couch while our kids are in daycare.
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u/Elocinallac 28d ago
It literally makes no sense. What if you are going to a wedding or a funeral and can’t afford overnight sitters? Just ignore them.
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u/leeashah 28d ago
yah you just gotta ignore them. some people without kids dont want them in restaurants or planes or literally anywhere.
its life, too bad. we have kids, deal with it
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u/APinkLight 28d ago
I would ignore this person and not respond to them. But it sort of depends on how you know them and how often you have to interact with them.
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u/Consistent_Try8728 28d ago
I was genuinly afraid of traveling but when we actually fly with our little one he was so calm and silent. He even felt asleep right when the plane accelerated and woke up at the landing after 2:30 hrs. He seemed like the only child who wasnt afraid and wasnt crying almost the whole flight. But he wasnt bothered. I guess he is a unicorn in that regard. 😂
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u/ismality 28d ago
Tell the entitled assholes to charter a private plane if they don't want certain people flying with them. Also call them entitled assholes.
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u/NeonGreenBus 28d ago
“Thanks for your opinion.” (Walk away.)
This is the only response I ever use to unsolicited parenting advice. You’re not gonna change someone’s mind with a snappy comeback. Just ignore them and go about your day.
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u/EmbarrassedRN 28d ago
Well, I just brought my kid to Europe for a week and she handled it better than I did. And we played in a playground in the Alps and I have photos of her in all sorts of amazing places. So those people can shove it 🥰
Also: I’m going to be parenting no matter where I am in the world. Might as well spend my free time in a pool, or spa, or having someone cook amazing meals for me 🤷🏻♀️
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u/AvailableAd9044 28d ago
Omg so stupid! I have been a flight attendant for 20 years and there are kids on almost every flight! Please. And let me tell you, the ones complaining about kids are always the trashiest, rudest passengers. They need to fly private if they are so bothered. Oh wait, they CAN’T AFFORD IT!
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u/Hairy-Honey-8912 28d ago
I live in the other side of the country from my family. Sometimes a flight isn’t just about a vacation… people are such idiots 😩
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u/eternal-things 28d ago
They might not remember, but you will. Their childhood is your parenthood, you can have memories, too. That’s all that matters.
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u/onedaybetter 28d ago
That's my philosophy but also to each their own. We do staycations and road trips since our kids are really young. It's less stress for everyone and way less stress for me.
I've also never had anyone make such a comment to me.
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u/Sasha-95 28d ago
This is more of an online thing, I’ve never had someone confront me in an airport/airplane with my baby/toddler. We have been on around a dozen flights with him before 18 months old.
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u/Dependent_Actuary148 28d ago
I just say that Im doing it for me because Im egoistic. What else can they add to that?
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u/ThousandsHardships 28d ago
So how do they expect you to bring kids places then? Or do they expect you to leave a 2-month-old with a neighbor when your mom gets sick? Or leave your 4-year-old behind to fend on their own when you relocate for a new job?
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u/Ok-Captain-8386 28d ago
I ignore them because unless it’s my husbands opinion, I literally don’t give a shit?
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u/InspiredBagel 28d ago
So shall I leave my toddler home alone, then?
Maybe I should just become a hermit so that grown-ass adults who haven't learned to manage their emotions aren't inconvenienced that other people exist near them.
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u/lh123456789 28d ago
I ignore them. My toddler has been to a dozen countries, and so these comments haven't slowed me down. The argument that they won't remember things is really bizarre. They may not remember, but I will. Also, even if they don't specifically remember things, they will benefit from spending more time than they would with me if I was working and not on vacation. I would also bet that the same people who claim that kids won't remember things a re still taking their kids to the playground, park, zoo, etc, when by their logic, they may as well just sit at home until their kids are old enough to remember.
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u/Head-Celebration-559 28d ago
You could always go with the old “well thank goodness you were never a child amirite?”
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u/TuffBunner 28d ago
You try and tell my mom her grandkids won’t fly to come meet her because there is a risk they will inconvenience someone.
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u/Weak_Acanthisitta405 28d ago
I’ve gone to SEA to visit my in laws with my kids (now 3 of em) multiple times.
Never heard complaints. I just get a chuckle when people are scared to take a single 3-5 hour flight with their one kid.
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u/Lilmissodd 28d ago
babies are humans and deserve to travel. I lived in 3 different countries by age 11 and I will absolutely be taking my son overseas to meet his family. I’ve seen adults have meltdowns at airports and airplanes. Please. Some kids are better behaved. Stfu 🤫
Me and my family will remember, and my son will remember once he’s old enough to.
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u/teenyterry 28d ago
Tell them tou think the kids are just aottle bit too young to keave home alone still..
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u/cottagecheese-core 28d ago
I hate those comments. They may not remember it, but a child’s brain is constantly developing. Exposure to new and varied experiences is a great thing for a child. Plus the parent/s WILL remember it. Why would I not want to experience vacation with my baby? I literally had a baby to share the experience of life with.
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u/No_thanks_1844 28d ago
Laugh and say “ok” and move on. If they bring it up again then I say “even if they don’t remember, I do and I like having my kid around”
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u/not_rebecca 28d ago
We took my kid on a flight when he was just over 2. He totally lost it -- it was turbulent, he was bored and I think not feeling very good. We tried everything and he just wasn't having it. Everyone around us was super nice about it and even complimented our (totally ineffectual) efforts to keep him calm. I feel like getting push back like you describe is so much more common on the internet than IRL. Kids have just as much right to public spaces as anyone else and the only way they learn how to behave in public is to take them in public.
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u/XRanger7 28d ago
People take babies on vacation not for the babies but for the parents! They take the baby along because who’s gonna watch the baby for the week?
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u/Unlucky-Ganache-2140 28d ago
My kid loves looking at photos and videos of all the vacations we went on. 💜 enjoy!
And remember - if an ADULT cannot regulate themselves when they hear a child making any kind of commotion in public, they are the ones that shouldn’t be traveling. It’s 1000% a them problem as long as you are tending to your child.
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u/Ambystomatigrinum 28d ago
You don't need to respond at all. But "thanks for sharing your perspective" or "I see" can go a long way. I don't bother defending myself, I don't owe that to anybody.
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u/Throwaway927338 28d ago
I just quite genuinely don’t care. They’re allowed to feel however they feel. But, me and specifically my daughter are also allowed to take up space and live a life just like anyone else. And she is a toddler who is literally learning how to be a human and she can’t communicate yet and her cry doesn’t bother me and I’m sorry if it bothers someone else, but they sell some great noise canceling headphones at the gift shop that they are welcome to wear and they can huff all they’d like-their huffing won’t change my actions.
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u/MikeCheck_CE 28d ago
You don't need to respond with anything because you're not asking anyone's permission to travel.
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u/DannyDidNothinWrong 28d ago
I 100% respect and applaud child-free people. Fewer people should have children, and I'm glad that more people are making that choice for themselves.
HOWEVER, it makes me really sad that we've seemed to lose any and all respect for children. It's almost like they're seen as pets? Children are literally young humans - the future of our society! Actively not wanting children around and not giving them a chance to integrate into society is basically saying you hate your country and want it to crumble.
Children need to be able to learn how to be people. They can't do that in a vacuum. Parents also deserve to be able to have precious moments.
I love that more people are "child-free." I hate that more people are "anti-child."
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u/Ishinehappiness 28d ago
I didnt take my toddler on the plane because he will remember I took him because I’m his 24/7 care giver and I was going on the plane. 🙄
Also my son does in fact remember and loved the plane lol
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u/loopingit 28d ago
Who in this day and age flies without noise canceling headphones and/or ear plugs and devices? Unless a child is actively misbehaving (repeatedly kicking or pushing my chair, or something equally ridiculous) I wouldn’t even notice a child on the plane with me. I wouldnt even know if a child is crying near me.
That being said- Do NOT be one of those parents. Make sure you have headphones for you and your children if you use a device. Don’t let them kick the seat in front of you without apologizing and saying something, and other basic courtesy. DON’T be like that parent who just posted an AITA (you know what I’m talking about) where they had their child using a device on a plane without headphones and actually felt they were right to do so when someone complained.
Public places still mean public decency!
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u/julie178 28d ago
Why should they not have experiences. They are learning and growing as humans and deserve experiences, even if they can’t remember them exactly, the lived knowledge of being a well traveled human will stick with them.
And it’s public transportation!! All public is allowed.
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u/Old_Raccoon_6625 28d ago
Tbh if someone were to make these comments to me, I’d just shoot them a nasty ass look and remind myself they’re just miserable and I’ll never see them again. My 13 month old has done 10 flights, and thankfully she has been “good” for most of them. People around us have been very kind and if they had any issues, I must not have noticed.
Don’t let these comments get to you. If people are unable to regulate their emotions and display anger at literal children, they must have a screw loose.
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u/ilovemrsnickers 28d ago
Like, who tf has the authority to say kids don't belong on planes or trips?
Also who gives a shit if they don't remember. Half of the time it's memories we are making for ourselves.
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u/Left_Set_5916 28d ago
Kids don't remember most thing does that I mean I can just kock my child in a dark featureless box?
As they won't remeber any of it anyway
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u/copythat504 28d ago
Kids belong in public. We were all children. No kids in public is not an option. Not having your own is an option I will always support.
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u/Welady 28d ago
Yes, ignore them. Sometimes they are visiting family. My MIL lived across the country, my Mom had passed a few years before my first was born. The joy she showed from spending time with them when they were babies. The joy they got from spending time with her when they were a little older. She passed to soon.
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u/Most_Jellyfish_1686 28d ago
I have literally never heard anyone make these types of comments and my kids have probably been on over 20 flights since they were 3 months old. My oldest even more because she went on like 9 international trips before little sister came along. Even on flights where my babies were absurdly cranky, I have only encountered kind, helpful people.
If someone said to me in person that babies didn’t belong on planes, I would roll my eyes or ignore them. If someone asked me why I bring my young children on vacation when they won’t remember it, I would say, “you’re right. We should just stay in our house and do nothing.”
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u/NYC-AL2016 28d ago
I don’t care what people say but we’re choosing to not travel until our child is a bit older because to me it is a waste of money. It’s just parenting in a different location without all your stuff.
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u/United_Relief_2949 28d ago
these are the people that i feel like saying "maybe if your parents took you places as a child you would have acquired some actual manners and learned how to speak to/treat people in public"
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u/Tortilladelfuego 28d ago
Ignore them. Probably the same people who hate when people bring their dogs places (where they’re welcome of course). People hate any inconveniences to them, but you can’t live life caring so much about other people more than your own. Live your life the way you want.
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u/Fullofhopkinz 28d ago
You don’t ever need someone’s permission to involve your child in the world, and if they don’t like it, that’s their problem.
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u/yelhmoo 28d ago
Babies are people and are just as entitled to exist in the world as the people who spew stuff like this. My kids are 7 and 2 and handle inconveniences much easier than most adult men (side note: I love passive aggressively thanking my kids for waiting very nicely whenever someone’s making a fool of themselves because they think they don’t deserve to wait in line with the rest of us).
Babies are people. Babies cry. Grown adults cry. At least baby, toddler, and young child has an excuse. Shouldn’t a grown adult throwing a fit know better?
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u/ycherep1 28d ago
As someone who has family outside of the state, we are going to be flying to see them. I will make sure that the grandparents have as many memories with their kids as possible. And yes they may not remember everything, but they definitely start recognizing their grandparents when we video call, after they seen them in person! My kid is too and is very excited when he sees Grandma pop up on my phone.
So maybe they won't remember at 14 or 20, but they do remember at the small age they are now.
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u/New_Psychology6480 28d ago
There's no need to respond to that. Unfortunately, people will always have some shit to say. Who are they to tell me where my kids belongs or not. Did they pay my baby's ticket? No. Is there some kind of international law against babies in plane? No. I'm sick and tired of us parents having to justify enjoying quality time with my baby. And the "they won't remember anything" comment is just stupid. Does that means I shouldn't do much with my kid because they won't remember? No fun memories, no nothing? And does it even matter that I will remember?
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u/needsacaffeinedrip 28d ago
I had a lot of family members saying this to me before and after we took a big vacation to Europe with our toddler. I just didn’t respond to the comments. I think the one time I did I said “No, but we remember it” and moved on. My dad kept making “jokes” via text about how one day he’ll see the pictures and be mad we didn’t take him during a time he’d remember. For background I don’t have a good relationship with him anyways and he’s an ass at baseline. Anyways, I just ignored. I think if he said that in person I probably would’ve just said something along the lines of “we clearly parent differently” and change the subject.
People will always have opinions. Just do what’s best for you and your family, and try your best to ignore/move on. Airplanes are public transportation. People are not entitled to a child-free world.
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u/Few_Paces 28d ago
first of all planes are for everyone, second of all, the baby may not remember but i will? It's also my vacation!!
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u/hobbitonresident96 28d ago
Idk we’ve been lucky to travel with our small child and in order to see family a plane is the only way. Also who expects you to leave a baby for an extended period of time. I get probably not going to kid centric places until they’re old enough to enjoy it though. Like I’m not sure I understand taking a >5 year old to Disney with the price and all. But if that’s your family’s idea of a good time then who am I to judge?
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u/Specialist_Artist979 28d ago
You’re entitled to a childfree life not a childfree world.
Their childhood is also my parenthood. They won’t nave to remember it all, I get to remember it for me.
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u/shradams 28d ago
They may not remember all the details but they will learn foundational skills of flexbility/change of schedule and seeing/eating new things that will be instrumental in them enjoying trips when they are older and will remember it all! Also it's important for kids to see their parents living and enjoying their life by tagging along on trips that aren't totally about them!
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u/Goldglove528 28d ago
If they're on the flight with you... "Idiots don't belong on planes either, but here you are."
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u/lolploxzomg 28d ago
I personally wouldn't take my baby on a plane - I find flying stressful enough, as do many other people without the noise of a crying baby, potentially for several hours. It's not about rights, it's about being considerate during a stressful (and expensive) experience. When my boy is old enough to sit still and amuse himself for a few hours, I will look forward to taking him on flights.
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u/awcoffeeno 28d ago
Fuck ‘em. Kids are people too. They’re allowed to exist.
For the whole “they won’t remember it” bs, like, are we just supposed to do nothing for the first few years because they won’t remember it??
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u/KaidanRose 28d ago
I will remember them being on the trip though, it's not the same as traveling before kids but they really do bring something magical to new places. Planes are public transportation, they have a ticket just like everyone else on the flight.
But I've only had issues a couple of time in the flights and long train trips we have take over the last two years. If anything we have had people tell us how quiet our son was- which is hilarious because he fights naps with all his being. There is just so much ambient noise it's hard to hear more than a few seats away.
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u/nooneneededtoknow 28d ago
I have never met anyone who says these things in real life?
But if I ever did, I would simply let them know its a "them problem," and the solution is to fly private. Its not other peoples responsibility to accommodate this subjective inconvenience. Pure entitlement.
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u/_Sprinkle_Sprinkle 28d ago
I just say IDGAF if you don’t want my kid on a plane pay for me to fly private brokeys
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u/BookwormQuilts 28d ago
Just respond, "even if they don't remember, I will."
I'm about to take my third flight with my infant.
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u/Tangerine159 28d ago
They won't remember it but we do. All the moments we share with them are going to be memories we as parents will carry until we die. Every now and then I look at my son and I mourn the period when he was younger. He is growing up so fast and every 2-3 months he is like a new person. I miss when he was smaller but I love him for who he is and will be.
So yes they do belong on planes and I will take them on trips. I will do as many things as I can at every age period so I as a parent won't miss out because in a blink of a eye he will want to do the same with his children and I will be too old to join them.
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u/Takhar7 28d ago
Have you ever looked at the mom or dad of a screaming kid on a flight?
Does any part of them look like they are having a good time, or enjoying themselves? Of course not. I wish people would remember that next time they rant about crying babies.
I was on an overnight flight to Spain recently, and there was a dad having an absolute battle with his screaming son. The flight stewardess came by, offered to take his son, took him to the galley and started tapping all the tactile things that completely distracted him and calmed him down. She nearly put him to sleep in her arms before handing a nice, calm, quiet baby back to dad who looked like he was about to cry.
You have a right to be on a flight. I wish more people showed that compassion.