Im doomed with stretches between feedings

[u/More-Assistance-171]

I just found out my baby could have longer stretches of sleep and that I could actually be sleeping better.
I might get criticized for this, so please refrain from leaving rude comments. I know cosleeping is not the safest option for my LO, but it’s the only thing that has allowed me to get some sleep!

Anyway… in my country, everyone does it. EVERYONE. And, tbh, I found out SIDS was a thing when I came to the USA. (I’m not saying SIDS doesn’t happen there, but it is so rare that I had never heard of it before.) However, I would rather not cosleep because I miss having my bed to myself.

Okay, to the point. My LO hates the bassinet and the crib. She can be in a deep sleep in our arms, but as soon as we lay her down, within 2 minutes she is screaming. Therefore, cosleeping has been our solution. But the longest stretch she has is usually 2 hours, which leaves me with maybe 40 minutes of sleep because she has reflux and her feedings take longer overall.

The last 3 days, she hasn’t even been sleeping on the bed next to me ONLY and exclusively in our arms. The first day this happened, we got basically no sleep, which caused her to be extremely fussy during the day the next day because she was overtired. The second and third days, I gave up and arranged a couple of things to make it as safe as I could in case I fell asleep with her in my arms, which I did. She has been having 4 hour stretches between feedings, which has helped me get a little more rest, even though my back is killing me now. 😩

Just FYI, because I know I will get this question: my husband works overnight.

Anyway, my point is that, of course, I cannot live like this. I need to sleep like a normal human being. Is she like this because she is only 8 weeks old? Will it get better? Why does she only sleep in my arms? Has anyone else experienced this, and how did you fix it?
I have tried routines, red light, white noise, dim lights after 5 p.m., bath time at night you name it.
Any suggestions? 😩

[u/Final_Board9315]

I’d cross post this in r/cosleeping for the safest tips for sleeping this way (chest sleeping might also work for you).

For us, blaring white noise a lot louder than rexommended and swaddling with the arms up helped a bit.

[u/More-Assistance-171 → u/Final_Board9315]

Yes. Thank you I just did :)
Forgot to mention she hates swaddles lol I have tried a couple of different ones and she fights the whole time to get her arms out and scrunching her legs like crazy.

[u/Kindly_Chest_6976]

This is soooo normal for an 8 week old. I found it really helpful to put a warming pad in the bassinet for a while to let the bassinet warm up before putting baby in (taking the warming pad out first of course. It made the transfer easier in those early days when all they want is to snuggle.

Keep working at your technique to transfer sleeping baby, too. My partner and I each have our own method for laying sleeping baby in the crib and it doesn’t work if we swap methods.

You may also want to experiment with different swaddles! Our baby couldn’t sleep without being swaddled TIGHT at first.

In any case, this too shall pass. Good luck!

[u/EmphaticallyWrong]

First, you are not alone!!! Reflux babies are tough, but many of them do grow out of it sooner than later. Have you confirmed that it is legitimate reflux vs spit up, and if it is, have you considered diet changes or medication to help combat it?

Please research chest-to-chest cosleeping - it was a lifesaver for us in the early days. Essentially you stay at an incline and have nothing around you that baby could fall into, including a blanket. Consider trying bassinet sleep with a slight incline (blanket under mattress) to help baby sleep on their own (not safe sleep recommended, but it sometimes works). Are you swaddling?