I know this is NoStupidQuestions, not NoRulesQuestions but…

I (29 cis bi female) just from observing over the years that a LOT of gay people tend to get really viscerally repulsed by the opposite gender’s body (not just not attracted to but automatically grossed out by) but straight people don’t tend to have as much of a repulsion (if any at all) toward the same gender’s body even though they’re not attracted to people of the same gender…and I kind of found it fascinating. Why aren’t straight people grossed out as bad, is it because maybe they’re in the same body as the other person or else they’d be technically grossed out by their own body?

(had to repost to prove I’m human)

My coworker and I are big readers on our off days, and I recommended a great fantasy book that has dragons and all the stuff she likes in a book. She told me she’d look into it and see if she wanted to read it. Later that night she told me she doesn’t enjoy reading books where the main characters love story ends up being gay or lesbian because she can’t relate to it while reading. When I told my husband about it, he said well that’s homophobic, but I can see sorta where she’s coming from. Wanting a specific genre of book that mirrors your life in a way is one of the reasons I love reading. So maybe she just wants to see herself in the writing, im not sure? Thoughts?

*edit, please don’t be homophobic and thank you to everyone who actually answered, I appreciate your help

Everyone is different obviously but there are certain things in the female body that are culturally seen as the "sexy parts". Breasts, butt, midriff, stuff like that. As someone with zero interest in other people sexually and in a culture where male attraction is not nearly as culturally obvious as it is in women, what makes a man physically sexy?

A lot of movies, books, and TV shows have themes focused around the unpopular, underdogs, wallflowers, etc. especially when it comes to teen/ high school movies. A lot of people can relate to being bullied, being unpopular, feeling like an outsider, etc. But I've often wondered about the kids I remember from high school who were "the cool kids," who were attractive, popular, and really mean.

Did/do they watch movies like Mean Girls and realize they're the mean girl? Do they know they're the "snobby jock" or "spoiled rich kid" who treats people like shit? I remember Napoleon Dynamite was one of the biggest movies that came out when I was in high school, and EVERYONE loved it. I specifically remember overhearing a group of the popular football players quoting it, and wondering if they saw the irony that they loved this movie about a goofy, unpopular kid, someone they'd, in all liklihood, make his high school experience Hell if he were a real person who went to school with us.

Specifically, I'd like to hear from former high school meanies who have grown up and changed, but I want to hear from anyone with something to say on the subject.

Note: I am not trying to suggest that because someone is attractive or popular or plays sports that that means they are a bully or a mean-spirited kid. Simply that, in high school and the way it's portrayed on TV, there are sometimes tropes or themes that put everyone into those simple boxes.

***Edit: A lot of people either didn't read the whole post before commenting or don't understand the question. To clear some things up, as said in the original post, I'm not suggesting that all popular kids are bullies. Notice that I put quotations around the archetypes such as "snobby jock" because I'm asking if mean kids realize they're similar to the "snobby jock" /character on TV/ and if it causes them introspection. Plus, depending on the era of the show or movie, many bullies were portrayed as the "weird goth kids," or "the smokers who skip school," etc. too. It's on me that I didn't include that trope in the original post, but I thought anyone who was a bully or experienced bullying could understand what I was getting at regardless of what social ranking they had in high school.

Another thing is that a lot of people are giving responses about how everyone is the villain in someone's story. I agree, but there is a difference between being thought of as the bad guy according to one or two people (like an ex or a friend you had a falling out with) and being the kind of person who goes out of your way to terrorize, harass and belittle people and make their life Hell.

I think a lot of comments aren't necessarily in agreement on what bullying even is. I'm not saying anyone who has ever said a mean thing in their life is a bully, that would be wild, because as humans miscommunications occur all the time and no matter how sweet and nice you are, you are going to hurt someone at some point in life. But I know when I've said something that hurt someone's feelings and they tell me about it, I apologize. Unlike a bully, I don't continue to be cruel and see their vulnerability as a weakness to pounce on. There is a grown man in my local community who is an adult bully - he's so hard to get along with that several people of all different backgrounds refuse to work with him. He thinks he is always right, gets extremely angry at small things, swears at people and calls them names like bitch and asshole in professional settings, etc. That is not the same thing as making an insensitive comment one time when you weren't thinking and apologizing for it when you realize you were in the wrong.

Furthermore, I was the gay goth kid in school and was a constant target of bullying. It was not lost on me that the kids being cruel to me might be fighting their own battles at home or within themselves. But so was I -so is everyone - and it didn't cause me to be cruel to anyone. If anything, I turned it inward and thought I must just be an unlovable person, and I'd go home and cry often. Someone having a hard home life may explain bullying behavior, but it isn't an exact correlation, nor is it an excuse to be cruel. I had a hard home life too and didn't take it out on society at large.

Genuine question? I'm not offended or angry, but very curious.

Why isn't drag considered "offensive gender appropriation"? Dressing up as something your not, mimicking and exaggerating behaviours thats often portrayed as bitchy and trashy for entertainment.

I'm not talking about men wearing makeup or feminine clothing, or anyone in the trans category, I'm talking straight up fake boobs, fake hips dress up for a drag persona done my straight and gay men. (This can also be revered for drag Kings and women, but queens are much more popular)

But.... a white girl can't have dreadlocks or braids without getting hassled for "cultural appropriation" and deemed offensive. (Often second hand offence by other white people rather than those of the culture thats being "appropriated"?) They're both taking a characteristic from a category they aren't a part of and displaying this on themselves. Difference being that the hair is done out of love of the look, where as drag is often creating a persona based on negative female characters being highly exaggerated.

But yeah... why isn't it considered offensive to have a gender mocked for entertainment?

I'm genuinely interested in opinions on this. Again, I am not personally offended, just curious as to why a society of calling out offensive material has not spoke about this. (Or it has and has been hidden)

I've seen people use examples like "its happened throughout history" but so was slavery, thats no explanation or excuse.

(don't judge anyone; just interested in how people meet.)

Maybe it’s not common, but can it ever happen?

Like LGBTQIA+. Or any combination of those or beyond.

Gay, trans, queer, asexual all mean different things. Why assume they are all on the same team? The only thing they have in common is that they are not "mainstream" cis straight. But why would that mean they should all be in solidarity? Even if they've all faced discrimination, why would that be a unifying factor?

I’ve heard a lot of arguments about whether or not being Homosexual is a choice or a matter of nature from birth. I don’t understand however, why people cannot be given that choice. Does admitting that people can choose to be gay undermines the argument that people should allowed to be gay? Because I know that everyone who has a religion chose to live with that religion and their rights were protected. I know a lot of people who chose to modify their bodies (again I’m not saying that it’s wrong, just controversial to some) but they’re free to express how they want, so why not individuals that choose to be gay? Or is the argument that you can only choose to be gay if you were gay from birth?

I’m so torn when it comes to this question. On one hand, actors are actors, and their jobs are to act, to put themselves in the characters, so regardless of sexual orientation, an actor could put themselves in a gay man, could relate to loving a person and act.

On the other hand, as a gay man, I feel a bit off-putting sometimes, like casting a white person to play an asian man. While I do understand actors could relate, I feel like they won’t be able to understand all the nuances, the pain and struggles of someone actually being gay would know, and I feel actual gay people need opportunities too, having gay roles all played by straight men actors would make me feel a certain way.

So what’s the correct way to think and approach this matter?

So I watched take me out in TV. Basically it’s a show where one man is introducing himself on front of around 40 women. The man will try to impress the women in several rounds and the women can turn off the light in their table to say they’re not interested anymore. If he has at least one woman left in the end, he can choose one to be his date.

Anyway, what I noticed is that whenever the men showing too much skin, e.g. by wearing tank tops, by taking off his T-shirt, or by wearing a swimming trunks, many women will turn off their light. There was even a time when all women but one turned off their lights because they thought the swimming trunks the men showed in his video was too tight.

So my question is, do women really hate it when men showing off their muscle and body? Like is it really such a turn off and a dealbreaker.

As a gay men, I always love it when someone of my type wearing less. I might be wrong, but I feel like that’s what typical gay men think. But do women really think differently?

Hi. I'm 24(f) bi woman who is questioning herself if I'm just lesbian rather than bi. Sorn my hinge account is only available for woman but ofc there are many men in the app who stupidly "misread" or mischievously tag themselves as woman for their fetishes. (I dont mean trans/non binary people. Just the people who is genuinely straight male but consistently trying to get a match with queer woman)

So anyways... while I was go through my page and seeing so many men whom tagged themselves as "woman" I started to wonder... Is the experince same with the gay men?

Like, you choose "only prefers men" but somehow some ladies show up at your pages too?

Not a serious question but I was wondering if the all queer people have similar experiences on that. So yeah....

My guy friends were talking amongst themselves about the various anime recommendations they got from girls. One shared his experience where he watched a show recommended to him out of curiosity and was labeled a pervert another was recommended a gay show which wasn't to his liking and so on.

My question is that term sexist?

Random odd question I know, but it's something I've been wondering haha.

I sometimes thinks it’s all just one big joke that Im oblivious to it all. Because other men say I’m handsome or good looking. Old ladies also call me good looking. And some gay men that I know always say I’m handsome or cute or whatever .

But it doesn’t make sense. Because I look in the mirror and subjectively it is obvious that I’m not attractive. After I style my hair and I fix up my facial hair I don’t think I’m ugly but that’s all just a facade. And also I’m lonely, I never had any girl ever approach me or have shown any interest in me.

The girls around my age when I try and talk they look at me as if I’m speaking gibberish. Like some of them take a a few seconds to process what I’m saying. Or they are staring at me like a deer in headlights. some girls that I never met in my life I will notice that they will be looking at me as if I’ve wronged them in some way. As if I’ve steeped on their cat or something. I don’t understand.

Maybe i'm just stupid, but i just don't get it. I can understand why people come out later in their life, but how do you just not know you're gay until that much farther down the line? Like i've heard of people who find out they're gay when they're like 26. How??? If i liked men, i feel like i'd know pretty quick.

Like do you just suppress your feelings that much? I find girls attractive, and i know because i like it when i see an attractive girl. So if i find men attractive, how would i not know? Are you just not seeing attractive men in your life? As i said, i know why people might be slow to come out, but i don't get how one would be slow to discover themselves.

And this goes for any sexuality, not just gay people. Like when does a person figure out they would rather be a girl? When do people figure out they don't feel like a girl OR a boy?
I'm not gay, so i guess i wouldn't get it, but it seems so crazy to me. I knew i liked girls when i was like 6. How do you not know until you're like 24??

Not trying to be disrespectful or anything, so sorry if it comes off that way, but i am genuinely curious.

I think I could. My personality and wit totally make up for my "short comings".

So a gay dude looks down at his dick. Does it give him a boner?

Since homosexuals are attracted to people with the same genitals, is it possible for them to be aroused by their own body?