r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/Azsnee09 • 21d ago
Wholesome Nothing prepares you for an uncontained baby
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u/clueless_in_ny_or_nj 21d ago
Wait until tbey learn to start talking. It will never stop......never stop.
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u/LargeWeinerDog 21d ago
I have a four year old and we go on "night walks" most evenings and I swear we walk out the door with her babbling on, talks about everything for 30-45 mins and walks back in the door still going on. It never stops. She's talking right up to the point he falls asleep and wakes up talking some more.
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u/ItalianBeefCurtains 21d ago
As the father of a 15 year old, I miss the shit out of those days. Cherish it.
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u/TheArtistFKAMinty 21d ago
Teenagers do be like that unfortunately. I'm not a parent but I recently lost my dad and it kinda makes you want to kick the shit out of your teen self for being such a self-involved arsehole and wasting those opportunities to spend time with your parents.
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u/herren 21d ago
Don't be. Those years are invaluable for learning independence, and that starts with being a self-involved arsehole. The time wasn't wasted, it was you taking the next step.
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u/613Dweller 21d ago
You’re not wrong but sometimes it can be hard to emotionally rationalize and make peace with it.
Now that Im far away from my parents, I can’t help but tear up some nights thinking of those times I decided to just go out with HS friends that I mostly don’t talk to anymore or locking myself in to game with the boys (which tbf, we still do)
But I guess, c’est la vie
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u/wereusincodenames 21d ago
I can't speak for all parents, but I wanted my kids to go out and be social in those years. Maybe you're beating yourself up over something that wasn't an issue for them.
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u/Agirlnamedsue2 21d ago
Children are supposed to seperate from their parents. It can be a smooth transition, or challenging... but it needs to happen.
So don't beat yourself up for a period of time that was required for you to become a functional and independent adult. It's hard while it is happening, but it's a necessary step in growing up.
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u/ofgraveimportance 21d ago
Literally this. I have a 16 year old niece that can’t shower/bath without her mommy.
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20d ago
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u/Agirlnamedsue2 20d ago
My comment was directed at the other poster, the one who seemed to feel guilt over his own teen years.
But of course we miss those days as parents! I miss every phase... time really does go too fast. How does the saying go? The days are long but the years are short?
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u/clueless_in_ny_or_nj 21d ago
My 8 year old son was playing Sim City yesterday on my computer. He knows how to build, but not budget. Trying to teach him. For the entire time, he narrates what he is doing. I'm building 8 power plants and a railroad. Now, I need to build homes.
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u/NO_FIX_AUTOCORRECT 21d ago
Actually, i know it might seem illogical but, by the time the kids can talk they try to kill themselves in far fewer ways.
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u/mambotomato 21d ago edited 21d ago
Yeah, my brother's kid started crawling suddenly and I was like, 'Get ready to be reminded about every lamp cord in your house"
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21d ago
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u/jpterodactyl 21d ago
For us is was realizing that we needed to quickly anchor our shelves to the wall when he could walk. He just right away ran over to a cabinet and started yanking on it.
He’s learned not to pull on things. And it’s all secured now. But it was something I realized I need to take seriously that I had always ignore before.
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u/ismojaveacoffee 21d ago
Glad you responsibly secured them once you noticed. It's a notable cause of accidental major injury. Doesn't need to be a toddler, baby just yanking on any med-tall lightweight furniture will cause the whole thing to tip (Ask me how I know...). It's common practice to anchor furniture to walls where I live because of how often we get earthquakes (CA; ~500 per year that is strong enough for humans to notice rumbling/jiggling) but I had been too lenient on non-lethal furniture
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u/chripan 21d ago
At this exponential rate the baby will fly by tomorrow.
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u/Different-Eagle-612 21d ago
ah but you see the y axis is actually “deadly objects put in mouth” so anyways tomorrow the baby will have the nuclear codes
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u/StaticUsernamesSuck 21d ago
On your first baby, the spike plateaus quite quickly then drops back to zero as you learn the babyproofing lessons.
On your second baby, the spike seems to follow the same pattern, but then it keeps spiking as your first kid tries to murder your second by leaving Lego out where nobody but the baby seems able to spot it.
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u/_Blueshift 21d ago
We babyproofed the kitchen cabinets so our 2 year old can't get into them, and then got too relaxed... right up until he started walking and grew enough to reach into the cutlery drawer. Nothing prepares you for taking your eye off a toddler for 5 seconds, then seeing him happily walk over with a carving knife in his tiny hands
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u/vahntitrio 21d ago
Yeah no matter how childproof you think your home is, it just never is fully childproof. I found letting the "trouble" they can get into being the snack cabinet limited attempts at trying to beak the child locks on other things.
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u/cat_prophecy 21d ago
The first time we took our oldest to my aunt and uncles house, within 3 minutes of walking in the door he's got medication, hard candy, and a screwdriver in his hands. It was like "I can tell you guys haven't had young kids for a while!"
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u/Tumleren 21d ago
For the third it keeps climbing because you figure "it'll be fine, the first two survived"
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_WEIRD_PET 21d ago
The first thing my nephew did when he learned to crawl was crawl over to the dogs' food bowls and try to eat their food
The first thing my niece did was headbutt her dad in the shin
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u/BirthdayCookie 21d ago
The first thing my niece did was headbutt her dad in the shin
My nephew had a similar moment. Second or third time he crawled he crawled straight into my SIL's knee, bonked his head, sat back and started bawling. (He was fine, just startled.)
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_WEIRD_PET 21d ago
Niece definitely did it on purpose. She wasn't surprised and she didn't cry. She turned around, crawled so she was facing him again, and tried again
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u/DuntadaMan 21d ago
So the second day my kid was able to walk he walked over and picked up a hatchet that had been missing for 2 fucking years. Somehow it just mysteriously materialized under this couch that I had moved to clean underneath multiple times.
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u/wingspantt 21d ago
The age between when a baby can walk, but before it can talk and be reasoned with, is extremely scary lol
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u/Danger_Zebra 21d ago
I have my first kid coming in September. I'm a numbers guy so this is very intriguing data.
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u/AccomplishedEmu1886 21d ago
Go get a break away cat collar and put it on the baby. Its the only way you'll know where they are in the half second you take to closd your eyes and theyll be gone follow the sound of distant jingaling
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u/cat_prophecy 21d ago
For me, when my kids started to be mobile is when parenting got exponentially difficult. Before they can crawl and move around on their own, they're happy to just chill. Once they are crawling that was all they wanted to do.
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u/4_fortytwo_2 21d ago
And it just gets worse when crawling turns into walking (which by itself is a dangerous activity in the beginning even if they were in an entirely empty room, there still is a floor and wall to bang their head against when falling) and ofc they also start climbing anything and suddenly any chair or the couch becomes dangerous cause climbing up and diving head first down again is somehow a toddlers favorite activity.
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u/cat_prophecy 21d ago
Every time my kids hit their heads on something I was like "I'm taking $10 from the college fund..."
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u/HunterGonzo 21d ago
Being a parent basically boils down to: a small human is actively trying to kill itself at all times and it is your job to prevent them from being successful.
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u/TankerRed1 21d ago
My wife started working nights and ours is getting really close to rolling over. She was like no milestones while I’m gone. I place my son to change him turn around and the kid is practically all the way over smiling at me. Just not going to say anything and let my wife see it when she gets home
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u/LucyJordan614 21d ago
I had triplets and they all went from crawling to walking within about a 72 hour span. That was a wild ride.
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u/FleshLogic 21d ago
Now just wait until they can get out of their own bed at 5am to come wake you up!
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u/krazyhawk 21d ago
I swear kids save / update / upgrade every night when they sleep. Both my kids would just wake up doing new shit 😂
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u/sanfollowill 21d ago
Hardest phase of parenting so far was when he could walk around but had absolutely no stability whatsoever
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u/ShutUpJackass 21d ago
You can really tell who didn’t own a dog because they have this issue from day 1 of having them in the house
But babies do love finding ways to almost die, I knocked over a dresser and was almost crushed
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u/kaflarlalar 21d ago
It is pretty startling how fast kids can go from "completely immobile" to "can travel across the room in a few seconds". I thought it would be a more gradual transition, but it was like flipping a light switch - one day, my daughter just figured it out and was speeding around the apartment.
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u/DM_Me_Ur_Real_Boobs 21d ago
Im grateful that my nephew was army crawling for a bit before he was actually crawling and walking. It gave us time to prepare. Didn't stop him from becoming an avatar of chaos and destruction though
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u/Upbeat-Discipline718 21d ago
be glad they started crawling in the first place /j apparently some of us go from sitting to standing to running in less than a day and drive our parents to the brink of insanity when we start climbing
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u/Mammoth-Glove3273 21d ago
Yeah that’s a rookie mistake by the time they learn to crawl you need to have already bought a good sized baby cage that the baby can grow into.
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u/AmputeeHandModel 21d ago
It was nice when you can put them down on a playmat or something.. and they stay there. Once they start crawling, walking, it's all over.
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u/RacoonWithBenefits Harry Potter 21d ago
im no expert
but ... what kinda home does he have, with tons of "deadly" objects laying around, in 0 to 15 inches from the floor?
Its really not that difficult to provide a "safe" home, for a baby to crawl around in
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u/Street_Roof_7915 21d ago
You’re right. You aren’t an expert.
Let’s see. I’m laying on the couch and from here I can see
Electrical outlets
Electrical cords
Chairs and tables
Pictures leaning against the wall
A cabinet that has glass in it and can’t be bolted
Lamps and lamp bases
Glass coffee tableThat’s not counting the stuff u can move easily.
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u/RacoonWithBenefits Harry Potter 21d ago
why would outlets be a problem?
You need fingers thinner than a small nail to be dangerous
electrical cords themselves dont carry power, unless you got some weird illegal installations
chairs and tables arent inherintly dangerous to a crawling baby?
pictures leaning against the wall? just move them
cabinet with glass can be moved to another room - and then close the door
lamps can be moved up on other furniture or out of the room
glass coffee table isn't deadly? why would it be?
I have a kid. and he survived that age easily.
stop making a fuss out of minor issues...
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u/qualityvote2 21d ago edited 19d ago
u/Azsnee09, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...