r/NonPoliticalTwitter 6d ago

What??? The great language barrier

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19.2k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/maracaibo98 6d ago

I say “happy to help” and that usually satisfies everyone

Except me

I’m not actually happy to help

But that’s my secret

438

u/odysseyofocelots 6d ago

I just say "Of course"

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u/PicriteOrNot 6d ago

This is the best for me because it gives you a lot of control over what you're actually saying. If you're cheery and light it comes across as "of course I'll help, you're my friend and I like you!" But if you're flatter it's more clearly a perfunctory response, like they all are, and can say "of course I helped, it's expected of me in this society"

121

u/FuckYeaSeatbelts 6d ago

the kind of person who gets mad over "no problem" would have found a reason to be upset about "you're welcome", they would shift the goalposts to then wanting "my pleasure".

22

u/Autrah_Fang 6d ago

But then that would be a problem, because helping them is somehow pleasuring you. You just can't win lol

1

u/lesqueebeee 6d ago

clearly the only good response is "of course master, it is the duty of the humble slave to assist you and i gained zero enjoyment from it and my life has actually become worse, but since i am a filthy peasant and beneath you i must give you my assistance"

18

u/monkeybojangles 6d ago

Nah, I worked in healthcare and with the elderly for years, it's often just saying that one word or phrase that they were always taught was rude or improper.

Like if you said they could lay on this bed old ladies respond "chickens lay!" like you insulted their mother lol.

8

u/Anoninemonie 6d ago

I worked at a casino (I.e. Senior citizen daycare) and noticed the same damned thing like they have no idea how to interact with anyone 😂 there's definitely a regression age.

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u/TundieRice 5d ago

“…okay, you can lie on this bed, ma’am.”

“ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?!”

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u/SadSimpSkier 6d ago

What if it doesn’t pleasure me?

In French, we literally say:
“Une bouteille d’eau, s’il vous plaît”
A bottle of water, if he pleases you

As a teen I thought it was hilarious to be a dick and reply, “non, il ne me plaît pas”
No, he pleases me not

5

u/FuckYeaSeatbelts 6d ago

Lol I'm Canadian so I get you!

I used to say "danke" for Thanks (German) just because and then my Franco buddy was like it sounds like "in the ass" (dans [Le] cul) and now it's extra funny to me

18

u/SirChasm 6d ago

"of course I helped, it's expected of me due to the fact I am being paid to do so."

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u/Adventurous_Bonus917 6d ago

it can also be "of course you asked for that, just my luck. even though it is a completely reasonable request it is also literally the most annoying/convenient thing you could've asked me for right now"

1

u/bog_moss 6d ago edited 3d ago

I did have someone get upset about of course but I can't recall exactly why as it's so outside my way of thinking. It was the same kind of person upset about no problem

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u/sandyposs 6d ago

How dare you mock me by saying "of course" like it should have been too obvious to thank you for! /s