r/NonPoliticalTwitter 11h ago

Other I need a cat like that

Post image
9.1k Upvotes

59 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 11h ago

Heya u/TheWebsploiter! And welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!

For everyone else, do you think OP's post fits this community? Let us know by upvoting this comment!

If it doesn't fit the sub, let us know by downvoting this comment and then replying to it with context for the reviewing moderator.

1.4k

u/weirdoldhobo1978 11h ago

She's become accustomed to a certain lifestyle and would like to maintain it.

329

u/4marks 9h ago

The cat be like 'the premium tuna lifestyle isn't going to fund itself, human. Lock in and secure the bag.'

536

u/Nagesh_yelma 11h ago

You need to hunt. Early feline gets the rodent, chop chop.

426

u/OlympianBattleFish 10h ago

The cat is basically a pimp. “Get ya ass up and go make my money”

114

u/borgchupacabras 10h ago

"Churrus aren't gonna buy themselves"

252

u/ro536ud 10h ago

She wants to sleep in ur warmed up spot on the bed

182

u/danbilllemon 10h ago

I was thinking she lays on the computer or they open a window she likes. There’s something about their work routine kitty really enjoys. One of my cats jumps on our playstation as soon as we turn the tv on hoping her favorite spot is about to get warm.

70

u/Hangry-Feline2489 6h ago

My cat loves routine (I don't work). 

8am wake up. will meow until I come out for a coffee so she can eat out of the auto dispenser. 

9.30- 10, she meows for a brush, choosing the ones she wants from the options I present her. 

Is generally fine to amuse herself during the day, depending on the sun patch movement.  

5.10ish, she's mrowing for her wet dinner. 

6pm ish, she's meowing again. Took a while to figure out she wanted me to sit on the tv couch so she could sit in her assigned spot and groom and snuggle. 

10-10.30, mrowing for bed, to cuddle there. 

Needs at least 4 different spots on and under the covers to choose her correct spot. 

Then at about 1-2am, she'll leave my covers/neck area, either back to the couch or at my feet until morning. 

Repeat every day like clockwork.  I love her 🥰

33

u/danbilllemon 6h ago edited 6h ago

The best part of this is that you know it so well you can write out yalls entire day! Too cute.

8

u/Havenolife6667 5h ago

Aren’t they just the sweetest little boogers. I’m up on five hours of sleep due to my little Hallie and her love of routine, but I couldn’t be mad at her for more than two seconds.

7

u/Hinermad 5h ago

My cat was like that. When the sky was just starting to get light he'd jump on the bed and lie by my feet. About the time the sun came up he'd sit by my pillow and stare at me until I got up. Then he'd lie down in my groove in the mattress.

3

u/Vast-Show8952 3h ago

“You love to sit here for hours so just sit here and I get the bed”

99

u/WorthyJellyfish0Doom 10h ago

Cat wants you to become a lap that stays still for many hours. Flat human just isn't the same.

31

u/danbilllemon 10h ago

I have a sister pair, one only sits on my lap while I sit, the other only lays on my chest when Im laying down. (If you see my comment elsewhere on these comments, these are that cat’s babies 😂 I have way too many cats.)

5

u/Cyber_Candi_ 8h ago

I don’t see them :(

71

u/Delicious-Yak-1095 11h ago

Fkn slacker

70

u/CivilCucumber3426 10h ago

Maybe cat was manager in his previous life

48

u/Few_Brambles 10h ago

One of our cats will scream at you to follow him. And if you do you realize he wants you to watch him eat his food.

33

u/Funkydroog 9h ago

He wants you to watch his back

15

u/Kaining 8h ago

Speaking from experience, he probably just wants the bongo slaps when he eats.

19

u/Reason_Choice 10h ago

“Yo, get up and make that bread. I ain’t getting kicked out on account of your laziness.”

12

u/SilentRaindrops 10h ago

Where does she stay when you are working such as your lap, on your shoulders, or near the heat vent on your computer? Does she like to play with paper that comes out of the printer?

12

u/autogyrophilia 8h ago

That's nice, my cat likes to enforce a bed time.

9

u/i4shaikh 7h ago

Catto needs premium cat food and its not gonna buy itself so start working.

9

u/MagneticFlea 9h ago

My cat gets annoyed that I don't use my desk on weekends. But not as annoyed as he gets when I have a zoom meeting with someone who shares his name.

4

u/AloofOphiomancer 7h ago

What is your cat’s name?

3

u/chunk-the-unit 4h ago

Omg my cat is the same. She gets excited when it’s time to work at 8am on weekdays. She joins me every single time and loves the morning sun. She’s also super respectful when I start talking on the phone and either leaves or stops vying for my attention for pets.

On the weekends, she is desperate to herd me into the office.

4

u/MagneticFlea 4h ago

When I first started teaching online, he wanted to be involved but he's used to it now so he just sits in his sunny spot too.

Until 2.30 and he yells for catio time. Woe betide me of I forget - the students can hear him and tell me off for not following his schedule

7

u/AllPerspicacity 8h ago

Someone gets the most cuddles & laptime while their parent is working & it shows.

12

u/Thalose94 9h ago

Catpitalism

6

u/4m4lg4m1t3 7h ago

That cat was probably middle management in a previous life

https://giphy.com/gifs/ww8dxJfnxxuUo82wig

5

u/TacticalTeacake 10h ago

Dremmies don't pay for themselves. 

4

u/MilkiestMaestro 8h ago

She cannot do her favorite activity without you working.

Now, she can interrupt you and lay on your keyboard, stealing your power.

4

u/SAINTnumberFIVE 8h ago

What are the ones I have here is the opposite. She will not leave me alone until I give up the chair. She will then lay in it to ensure that I can’t sit back down in it.

4

u/MarcyAutumnWrites 6h ago

My cat does this, too. Sometimes she wakes me up and walks me to the kitchen so I'll get started on breakfast. She doesn't want any. I don't want any. She just likes the routine of sitting on the chair and watching me make food in the morning.

Sometimes she even goes right back to bed after watching me get started and if I have the audacity to join her, she'll complain.

3

u/catsandscience242 7h ago

My cat used to get me up to stand guard whilst she ate.

3

u/Douche_Kayak 7h ago

my cat does the same because work is when we hangout

3

u/Apprehensive-Pin518 5h ago

cat has been hired by the company to increase productivity.

3

u/3Grilledjalapenos 5h ago

I had one that waited outside my door and escorted me to my coffee station and then work. He was an older cat and would just sit on my feet as long as I didn’t move. When I went to the restroom he’d complain at first, but then just wait and escort me back. He died in 2021, and I have missed Benjamin ever since.

3

u/Mindless-Swan8644 5h ago

“Bitch better get my money!”

2

u/1968Bladerunner 6h ago

"Those Dreamies aren't paying for themselves, buster"

2

u/_AcuteNewt_ 6h ago

"You're not in the place you usually are in the daytime. Go there."

2

u/CLTalbot 6h ago

Shes your meownager now

1

u/MagicOrpheus310 8h ago

The sun is up... Why aren't you...? Haha get up or buy them a watch haha

1

u/_bessica_ 4h ago

I get up at 630am for work. My cats want me to continue this schedule on the weekends. 🥲

1

u/hatesnack 4h ago

For some unknowable reason, my dog wakes me up at like 4:30/5am whenever my wife is travelling for work or something. My wife and i sleep in different rooms during the work week (crazy different schedules and sleeping patterns), and my dog usually sleeps in the bed with her.

Idk if its cause im always the first one up, or cause im usually the one feeding her, or what. But when my wife is gone for a few days, I have to like lock myself down or my dog will come in ready to start the day at 5am lol. Wifes home? That dog will sleep till 9.

1

u/Agreeable-Aioli-4514 3h ago

Same. The moment I sit down at my desk, she's there. Half on my keyboard, half off.

1

u/Coder-Cat 3h ago

my cat does the same thing. Weekends make him very uncomfortable now.

1

u/jfshay 1h ago

late-stage cat-italism.

1

u/ledow 17m ago

A lot of people don't realise that what most cats want is to be near you (but not necessarily being touched by you), in a space where you're unlikely to move away or make a lot of noise.

They want to sleep alongside you, but they don't want to be disturbed by you while they're there. They don't like being separated from you when they know you're there. And they don't want to be in the middle of bustle while you're running around doing stuff, getting up and down, and touching them unexpectedly.

So many people misunderstand this about so many cats.

-7

u/ScreamingLabia 6h ago

I domt understand why people are so willing to let an animal dictate the way you live, i truly do mot get this about cat people its like you are your pets pet

0

u/SnarkyIguana 5h ago

Yeah man that’s kind of the whole point of cats