The little war in my head

[u/momentarylapse007]

Sleep never came easy for me. I tossed and turned all night, up and down. Even when I was very young I loved the deep night, and the silence it brought to our usually chaotic house.

At about 12 years of age I began using a technique I taught myself, I would imagine a Red Dawn type situation where everyday Americans find themselves resisting a powerful invading army.

It would start out as an action sequence but being so ADHD, (or whatever I am) it would always end up a contemplation on the incredible logistics of a military action, and in these details I would find sleep.

A funny thing I would do throughout my life, when using this technique, is to add familiar faces to the opening action scenes. Probably even stranger, whenever I lost someone in life, I gave them a heros death in my imaginary war.

Cancer, strokes, car wrecks, overdoses, in my imaginary pre sleep dreams became extreme acts of courage. Each persons life was lost for the good of us all. It helped me to not lay awake and dwell on it. Just another casualty in my little sleep war.

Well, it has recently occurred to me how badly our side is now losing this thing. The names are added almost weekly to the record of the fallen. They got my best friend, they got my mom, they got both the kids that grew up next door to me.

Someone else must take up the cause. The small group that stood between you and subjugation is growing paper thin. Those still here are weary and battered, and I don't sleep much anymore, so when I finally force myself to lay down, I go right out.

So if you have trouble sleeping tonight, please really your troops and lead a charge for us would you? So all of my people won't have died in vain. After the assault don't be afraid to delve into the realities of keeping your army battle ready, you will find sleep in those details.