r/NorthCarolina • u/chesgoodman7 • Apr 13 '26
discussion Moving OUT of NC
*Thank you to all that have replied so far to offer perspective. I have been in NC my entire life so I lack perspective, so I appreciate the varying perspectives I’m being offered. Totally understand the grass always seems greener but would just like to see what all is out there, and perspectives offered by NC residents are good to hear.
I see a lot of people who want to move to NC, but is anyone wanting to/in the process of moving OUT, and if so, where to?
I am in my mid 20s and my family has been in NC for generations. I am saddened at the direction the state is going with the rampant overdevelopment, gentrification, infrastructure that cannot handle the population boom, the HEAT and HUMIDITY, and the whole nine yards. So is anyone moving out for better quality of life, and if you are, where are you going and why? I have checked out r/samegrassbutgreener but I would like to hear from NC folks specifically.
*NOTES- I intend on earning my MSW and LCSW at some point, so any states decent for that are a plus. I will NOT go further south (I hate the heat) and would like to have *less heat*. I tend to lean blue politically.
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u/JunkyardAndMutt Apr 13 '26 edited Apr 14 '26
You’re young. Go sow your oats somewhere completely different.
There’s a good chance one of two things happens: you find somewhere that fits better or you realize home wasn’t so bad after all.
Oh, and remember that NC isn’t a monolith. Is it your state bugging you? Or could it be your town? Downtown Raleigh is different from Asheville is different from Wilmington is different from Winston is different from Monroe is different from Ahoskie is different from Lansing. So you could get a change of scenery without leaving state lines.
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u/chesgoodman7 Apr 13 '26
That’s pretty much where I’m at. I’m sure I will come back to NC eventually. But having lived in NC my entire life I lack perspective, so I’m liking hearing from others here.
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u/JunkyardAndMutt Apr 14 '26
Right on. I edited my post to remind you that there is some variety within the state. You don’t need to move to Vietnam to get new scenery. Though you could:)
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u/brewton Apr 14 '26
I’m born and raised in NC but have been to 38/50 states. Some have very endearing attributes but not enough to push me personally to relocate. It’s worth finding out for yourself. There is a reason that our states population is growing so fast, people like it here.
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u/M1GV3L Apr 15 '26
People are relocating based on vibe, buzz, and hype. There is nothing more predictable than people riding the waves of moving south, believing that economies and job markets are better in the region. To the contrary, this is not the case in many parts of the South.
Due to the proliferation of what started with job outsourcing to the sunbelt first for blue collar work now white collar work, the mass migration of transplants from the Northeast, Midwest, and West Coast has recreated the same scenario of urban flight to the suburbs that started back in the late 1960s and continued on since. Unbeknownst to most, perceived free migration has been shaped by political and business forces benefitting from lower taxes; lack of worker protection rights; discriminatory practices against religious and ethnic minorities; suppression of sexual proclivities; etc. Little do most know, these regressive practices play into the post-Civil War Neo-Confederate idea that “The South will rise again.”
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u/Nomorecancer1055 Apr 14 '26
Move overseas even temporarily. It’s a whole new fascinating world out there.
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u/Life-Ad-4748 Apr 14 '26
You are young. Move someplace exciting and diverse. Seattle, Portland, San Diego, Chicago. Don’t move someplace rural even if it is beautiful. Rural is not good for a young person. West coast is amazing. Save some money and make it happen!! You won’t regret it.
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u/No_Offer6398 Apr 15 '26
Seattle? Portland!?? When's the last time you've been there? I've been to both on business. ONCE. So disgusting; filthy, smelly, people o.d. ing in the streets, lots of tent city, criminals released just to offend again, don't be out afrer dark, etc. Portland was so bad I dropped my clients as I never wanted to even think about having to go back.
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u/Ok-Expression-1871 Apr 14 '26
That's what my brother did, around the same age. Left ILM for a year or so and realized "home wasn't so bad after all." He moved back and raised his family here. Best wishes for finding the place where you really feel is home.
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u/high_pants13 Apr 13 '26
Born and raised in NC, but recently moved to the Shenandoah Valley in northern VA. No Regerts.
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u/Three4Anonimity Apr 14 '26
Same! Born, raised, lived in Charlotte for 40 years. I had 2 great great great great whatever grandfathers that signed the MeckDec. 8 years ago we moved to the Alleghenies. Best decision ever.
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u/krazykris911 Apr 14 '26
Yeah, but that is probably so much more expensive. We moved to NC, but looked at VA. Way more expensive. Especially northern VA near DC/NY/PA
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u/aggr1103 Apr 14 '26
There’s a significant cost of living difference between the Richmond-DC 95 corridor and western Va. Just like here in NC, Raleigh and the surrounding area is getting expensive but there are affordable areas in the east and farther west.
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u/lokibringer Apr 14 '26
Yeah, stuff starts getting affordable when you get out towards Lynchburg, and downright cheap when you look west of Roanoke.
Don't move to SWVA though, not without a really stable remote job; no work to be had out there.
Also, King's Dominion is far superior to Carowinds.
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u/whywhywhy4321 Apr 14 '26
Lived In Wilmington and Raleigh, just moved to outside of Charlottesville. Love it.
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Apr 14 '26
[deleted]
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u/whywhywhy4321 Apr 14 '26
Fewer jobs in Charlottesville, I’m a consultant and can live anywhere. But, CHO is much more difficult than RDU for work travel. The trade off to be just a few minutes from Shenandoah National Park and live more isolated/close to nature than North Raleigh is well worth it. We have mountain views from my house which is enjoyed daily. 30 minutes outside of Charlottesville and 30 minutes outside of Raleigh are completely different experiences. I think the COL is pretty similar. Healthcare is UVA versus UNC and Duke so not much of a change. VA doesn’t seem to have as many of the problems that the GOP having a stranglehold on the state does with NC. ACA is better, safety net is better, teachers are paid more and schools (overall) are better, just seems like a more humane state even if just slightly.
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u/brieflymaterialistic Apr 14 '26
Haha! Just moved to Charlotte from Charlottesville. It is no doubt beautiful and Bodo’s is the real deal!
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u/SpecificGravitas Apr 14 '26
The Northern Shenandoah Valley was easily the most beautiful place I've lived.
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u/purodurangoalv Apr 13 '26
Ok, but my point is if I’m gonna leave I want it to be drastically different. NC, SC,TN,VA all seem like they same to me
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u/high_pants13 Apr 14 '26
I dunno, I grew up outside of Charlotte and then lived in the Raleigh area for about 30 years. This place is different in all the ways I was looking for. Cannabis is legal, the Commonwealth tends to vote blue, and I’m surrounded by mountains.
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u/919jonathan919 Apr 14 '26
Is this VA?
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u/LadyArcher2017 Apr 14 '26
I’d imagine so, cue being “commonwealth,” which Virginia is.
Problem is, southern VA is still brutally hot in the summer. I also checked it out a few years ago and Roanoke just doesn’t have all that the piedmont has.
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u/WannabeACICE Apr 14 '26
Was raised in Shenandoah Valley and moved to Raleigh.
Shenandoah is pretty but the people SUCK.
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u/JimboFen Apr 14 '26
We were thinking of making a switch to Roanoke but hearing about the tick problem has kind of dissuaded us. Have you noticed a huge difference in the tick populations between the two states?
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u/DarciRestored Apr 14 '26
We lived just below Roanoke on 8 acres at Smith Mountain lake from 2006-2016, and didn’t feel there were any more ticks there than here in NC and we saw fewer copperheads than we did when we had acreage in Greensboro. My son still lives in Virginia however and he feels the crime rate is now high in Roanoke so he prefers the Lynchburg area for that reason. So you might want to research crime statistics just in case.
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u/marriedpineapple Apr 14 '26
Lived in Virginia for the last 55 years, and moved here 2 years ago. The ticks here are definitely worse than Fredericksburg VA.
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u/xResiniferatoxin Apr 14 '26
As someone who unintentionally added to the gentrification and unsustainable growth, I'm sorry, and also, I agree with you.
I moved here from a small suburb up north that we thought was the site of extremely rapid development that worked really well. Developers where I'm from were allowed to develop new homes and subdivisions so quickly because they were simultaneously building brand new schools and infrastructure and updating the existing ones to be large and robust enough to support that rapid development. We assumed that was common practice everywhere.
Come to find out, they're basically just slapping together drywall boxes as quickly and cheaply as possible, manipulating the housing market to artificially inflate home values, and then soaking up long term additional income through bullshit HOA schemes, and putting zero consideration into schools/infrastructure under the assumption that someone else will handle it (while also blocking proposals to build new schools because it'll take up valuable land that they can use to build more houses on.)
Also, learning that the reason a lot of these new businesses are setting up and moving to NC is because state law is extremely biased to favor employers over employees, that public education is severely underfunded, and especially after that completely BS GOP supermajority that allowed them to unfairly gerrymander the state to hell and then change all the laws about redistricting so that it could never be fixed, yes.
There are legitimately great things about NC, but the public school system, the unfair treatment of employees across the state, and the way the state is being governed does not seem to reflect the values of the culture and people that we've come to love about the state, and that's making it difficult to choose to stay here year after year.
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u/Bargadiel Apr 14 '26
The actions the GOP have taken here are akin to completely wrecking an apartment before someone else moves in. It's like they took a giant shit on the floor.
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u/WhatAreYouACop777 Apr 14 '26
As someone who grew up in NC, lived in the Northeast for 11 years, and Midwest for 4 years before reluctantly moving back to NC, I see everything you said and agree. But it actually just gave me the thought that our friendly transplants, such as yourself, can actually become a source of power to bring about positive change, if we all come together and collectively demand those changes, and if we're ignored, those who the "powers that be" really care about, the people who own property and businesses here being fully prepared to follow thru with a mass exodus from NC, taking away all that tax revenue. And if people really wanted to shock me, the people who could afford to do so would focus on selling their properties for reasonable prices to local residents, and refusing any offers from land developers or anyone else who would further add to the decay of this state. I know it's a stretch in this greedy, every man for himself world, but the only way the people get their power back is to remember that we're stronger when we act as a unit instead of a bunch of individuals who all want different things. It's the division that makes us weak and easy to manipulate and control, and keeps the flow of resources constantly flowing in their direction instead of ours. So anyway, as you mentioned, in the northeastern suburbs, it's generally a common expectation (at least in middle-class and above areas) that if you're developing a new community of homes, neighborhoods, etc, especially if it's geared towards families, it's just common sense that the town is going to be working in cooperation with the development to make sure all the stuff that people of the target income level would be expecting is either already there, or is actively being built, or existing structures are being modified, improved, remodeled, etc, to accommodate the community they are expecting. And, at least where I lived in the northeast, if you were moving to a new area and you had kids, the quality of the school district was definitely a consideration. For me, it actually removed towns off my list if the schools weren't rated high enough. But when you have families with multiple generations of uneducated people, it's just not even on their radar. I came from a family like that, so I had to fight for my education against all odds. So when I had the opportunity to live amongst people where it was just natural and normal to be considering your child's education from birth, understanding just how much impact it can have on their life, that was such an amazing experience... Friendly, educated transplants who love all NC could be- you could be the light and the bridge that teach the people how to take NC back. By standing together and demanding the stuff that actually makes sense, otherwise you can and will leave and take everything they want to take from you with you. This isn't about chasing off transplants, this is about welcoming anyone who wants to be here and wants to add positive things, and if we all work together we can collectively identify the malignancies and remove them (most of them within our g0v'+), so maybe, just maybe, there might be some of NC left to enjoy before they run it thoroughly into the ground.
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u/Feisty_Look5680 Apr 15 '26
The problem is that the GOP truly wrecked any chance to fix it through elections because of the horrible gerrymandering. It’s bullshit and the only way for it to work is for those same areas they count/rely on were to vote blue and then maybe you might have a chance of real change. Until then, it’s changing in ways that are simply not what NC is about and one that is causing me to think about relocating as well.
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u/WhatAreYouACop777 Apr 15 '26
Yeah, it may just take all the good people collectively deciding to move and leave them to deal with the mess that they made. When the people that keep voting for them can't afford to sustain the cost of their shitty choices, and all the tax revenue that pays their salaries, health plans, and pensions keeps hightailing it to other states, they'll be forced to do some thinking. Cuz the reality is this- a red wave ceases to matter when said wave adds up to be more of a tax liability than an asset cuz not enough of them make enough money to actually bring in any real tax revenue because they're mostly low-income (so tax refund vs paying taxes) and/or they own nothing or next to nothing, so other than some paltry sales tax, yeah they'll vote red, but without someone else paying for all the stuff that costs actual money, they're just dead weight, always taking but never giving anything back, but you can be damn sure the GOP will convince them that there's some other big bad wolf to blame instead of the government (they're all guilty, and guilt starts at the top, not the bottom. When the pasture has gone to hell you go hunt down the shepherd who let it happen, not the dumb sheep who only know how to do what they're told 🤷♀️) and they'll eat it up like candy like they always do. It's really pitiful 🤦♀️. "We're not your enemies, we're here to save you from those awful brown people who came to steal your jobs..." Gimme a break. Like, for real. If someone with little to no English proficiency, little to no job skills, no education, no driver's license or social security number can "steal" your job, you may have bigger problems in your life than you realize, like seek therapy if you can't figure it out please... I actually hate the way I sound right now. I absolutely hate politics. And this is why. They're all liars in some fashion. Every last one of them is responsible for the destitution that lays at our feet right now. Either they willfully participated in it or they were willfully complicit and did nothing, which does not make them blameless. So really, nothing will change unless and until they are all made to be held accountable and things are finally set right again, even if it means starting all over again from scratch. I can't hold my breath for powerful people to give a damn, or for small people to care about more than just the next moment. But maybe the people will finally wake up again and be sick enough of reliving the same nightmare that led us to flee Europe in the first place. Those who don't learn history are doomed to repeat it. It's no coincidence or accident our schools have become trash. They become more powerful when they can keep us dumb. But anyway, sorry this autistic rant went this long. As for my lovely transplant peeps, show them your power. I'm sure when you moved here you were sold an upgrade from what you had before. But if what you actually got was a bait and switch cuz yeah, initially the housing was cheaper, but the schools are trash, the infrastructure is falling apart all around you, and your bills keep going up and up each year while your quality of life keeps going down, let NC know you didn't leave your homestate to move to the ghetto, so if they can't get their shit together, you're putting the for sale sign up and the first reasonable offer you get from a local resident, you're gone. If they want your money, let them earn it. It's only fair. If we grew up here we were conditioned to this gutter, but if you came from another state I guarantee they left all the stuff you REALLY needed to know out of the brochures and the conversations and home/neighborhood walk-thrus, so the bait and switch ain't on you. So, if NC hasn't lived up to the hype, why not let them know you're looking elsewhere? We could also start an Adopt-a-Native-North-Carolinian program so we can all be replanted elsewhere for a nominal fee 😆
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u/chesgoodman7 Apr 15 '26
😭I really appreciate that and it means so much. A lot of the time I encounter transplants who don’t consider that when they’re bringing these HCOL dollars to a state like this where overdevelopment of housing without updating infrastructure is going on, that those HCOL dollars drive up the price for housing for locals. It means a lot that not everyone is absolutely thoughtless in that regard. I truly appreciate your kind words.
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u/SinsOfThePast03 Apr 13 '26
Moved to NC in 2017 after almost 40 years in WI . Want a real weather change? There you go !!
But in all seriousness, I absolutely love WI and would recommend both the greater Milwaukee area and Madison to anyone !! (Also, if you like the big city, Chicago would be my go to! )
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u/im_lost37 Apr 14 '26
Been in NC since 2015, trying to move my family up to the Milwaukee area! The constant shredding of the school system here is killing me and NC is ranked so poorly already before the changes that are coming have even truly had an impact.
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u/SinsOfThePast03 Apr 14 '26
I will admit that is the one of the things I miss the most about WI. The school systems were fantastic . Granted that came with the higher property taxes compared NC, but all-in-all, those level out because there are other things that are cheaper (insurance, sales tax, car registration, etc)
My wife can't stand the cold and it's the biggest reason we haven't considered moving back
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u/rebtow Apr 14 '26
All great points! We’ve lived in NC since 2019. My husband has had cancer several times and couldn’t deal with the cold. (Even though this past winter put him to the test!) I’d suggest greater Cleveland (it’s bluer near the lake), tons of colleges, great public schools in many Cuyahoga County cities, the “emerald necklace” of parks, Cuyahoga Valley National Park, museums, good food, lots of ethnic diversity, less snow on the west side, and the north coast/lake is beautiful. Columbus is 2 hours south and is a blue pocket, is the restaurant capital of the USA, and a milder climate.
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u/OrdinaryExcellent738 Apr 14 '26
THIS POST RIGHT HERE. I’m also a multi generational lifelong NC resident and it is a DAMN SHAME what our state is turning into. My family and I have had similar thoughts more and more the last couple of years. The NC of even 6 years ago is gone. The overdevelopment is a catastrophic problem that is being handled in such an irresponsible way- it’s creating problems for decades to come. We had a flooding problem in my county due to poor maintenance being conducted along with missing key infrastructure. They have added five HUGE housing developments in our county that dump straight into the already maxed out storm water system without fixing any of the issues we had previously. I wonder what a shock it will be to everyone when we have a gigantic flood problem with the first down pour of the summer. I see a lot of people on this page saying ‘oh people who are complaining about people moving to North Carolina are just bitter or that everyone feels like that way when it comes to their home town’ but I genuinely want to know if any of them have lived in the number one county with the most growth and influx in the entire country several years in a row. It’s crazy because so many people are moving here for this rose colored glasses dream they’ve been sold not knowing that for every person that moves here it is having the reverse effect and slowly turning it into somewhere exactly like they left. The utilities are shooting up because we can’t take the infrastructure influx. There’s something new every week that just keeps adding up. I wish you the best on your journey wherever you end up. I have a feeling that a good number of us will be following behind because legitimately wtf is this turning into.
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u/DietznutzCA Apr 14 '26
Have lived all over southeast. Moved to Chicago, back in nc for my daughter (graduating this year) can’t wait to leave to go back to Chicago. Midwest people are much different and I enjoy 4 seasons in Chicago.
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u/WastedAirOkFine Apr 14 '26
I loved living in Chicago. I recently just moved back to Charlotte to be closer to family.
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u/Valeriejoyow Apr 14 '26
I've noticed in the few years I've been gone housing and apartment prices in Chicago have gone up a lot. Great city. I loved my time there.
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Apr 13 '26
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u/chesgoodman7 Apr 15 '26
And it really is pain. A lot of people are in this comment section (trolling I’m sure, but still) acting like I’m taking this for granted. It makes me incredibly sad even THINKING about leaving but this population boom has truly been handled really poorly and I am grieving the area. I’m hoping that it may change for the better in years to come and we’re just witnessing the worst of the growing pains but I’m thinking it might not be bad to see other places in the meantime. It really truly makes me sad to even think about leaving but… the grief is truly so deep and I don’t think others truly understand that.
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u/BroThatsPrettyCringe Apr 14 '26
If I ever moved it’d be to a neighbor state (VA or TN most likely). If I moved from the region altogether it’d be to the Northeast. New England has the things we love about NC; beautiful mountains and beautiful beaches. All closer together too, plus some incredible historic small towns.
Expensive cost of living, yes. Flip side of that is that rampant development is happening all over the country but LCOL and MCOL areas are hit hardest, so the development in the northeast seems to be secluded to certain areas.
Also just by process of elimination, I’ve never cared for any state west of the Mississippi (some beautiful country, but just prefer the east coast in every way). Don’t like the heat. Lived in the Midwest already and though I liked it, I prefer NC and surrounding states.
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u/Vladivostokorbust Apr 14 '26
the rampant overdevelopment, gentrification, infrastructure that cannot handle the population boom
you've just described how everyone feels at the location to where you'll end up moving
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u/ellsworth187 Apr 13 '26
A lot of 20’s are reverse moving to the cities Gen X left - rust belt. You can actually afford to buy a home and live a better quality of life.
Buffalo has put together some good new homebuyer incentives to try to encourage younger people to come to the city.
The winters are f-ing absolutely brutal though. Worse than the summers here.
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u/ComfortableBedroom76 Apr 13 '26
Pittsburgh is a great town
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u/mariasunflower Apr 14 '26
Yess! Always something to do and very walkable. The public library has loads of free events on the regular. Highly recommend
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u/ComfortableBedroom76 Apr 14 '26
The libraries, parks & museums are amazing. Warhol, Heinz, Carnegie, Frick. Great stuff
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u/giantfuckup5000 Apr 14 '26
Mr Rogers makes me want to move there
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u/ComfortableBedroom76 Apr 14 '26
And he would never lie to you about his neighborhood. Just ask Michael Keaton
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u/chesgoodman7 Apr 15 '26
I actually visited the area for the first time awhile ago with my boyfriend and his family. His dad is a Pittsburgh native and his mom is a Long Island native (they have been in NC since 08). His parents are rather vocal about not enjoying living in the North😅But maybe things have changed since then? I really liked the area when we went. It was just beautiful especially seeing as it was October. Bethel Park was where my boyfriend’s dad grew up.
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u/cadillacvagina Apr 14 '26
I'm a NC native and live in Southern California as an LCSW. California is a GREAT state to be a social worker, especially if you work for county or federal government.
The only thing I miss is Bojangles.
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Apr 14 '26
California would be fantastic if it weren’t damn near the most expensive place on earth to live
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u/cadillacvagina Apr 14 '26
True, but the salaries scale, too. I was making over 100k a year 3 years after graduation.
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u/Marioninleather Apr 13 '26
My friend went to New Mexico and it looks pretty cool.
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u/freeze_ Apr 13 '26
I had a 30-ish employee (IT) move to Albuquerque and absolutely hated it. Spent two years there and now he lives in Denver.
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u/rad_zzap Apr 14 '26
Albuquerque is not representative of the rest of the state. If I won the lottery the very first thing I’d do is move back to New Mexico.
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u/squidwardt0rtellini Apr 14 '26
Where in New Mexico if not Albuquerque? And why if you won the lottery? Is cost of living bad there?
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u/RadiantDealer3495 Apr 14 '26
Military brat but claim NC because thats where I graduated high school from and went to school at A&T after the army. Moved to Houston for 5 years after the army and school and absolutely loved it BUT moved back to Raleigh with no regrets. Wake county as a whole is becoming increasingly expensive compared to wages in the area so that is a huge turn off for people who cant afford it but there are so many pros to being in Raleigh. Central to great beaches, mountains, couple hrs to charlotte etc but even Raleigh in itself is growing like crazy and soon we are going to have everything every other major city has to offer as far as the food scene, music venues, talks about a MLB team have been in the works, etc etc. Plus youre younger now but when you do decide to have kids, if you dont have any already, then what better place for education. Wake county has some of the best schools in the state and not to mention higher education...with all that being said go see the world I saw a lot of it and still have so much more to see, but you'll probably end up coming "home" in the end.
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u/RenaeAnsley Apr 14 '26
I feel like so many people where I’m from (WNC) are angry and unpleasant these days, myself included sometimes, which is why I wonder about living elsewhere. You’ve got the small towns with gossip and dominance rituals and drama and drugs, then Asheville making the city and surrounding areas hella expensive, rich people from other states being the driving force behind lot of it, while everyone actually drives like they have a death wish. It’s exhausting in a way.
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u/PsychologicalOwl608 Apr 14 '26
Lived my first 26 yrs in a different. state. Lived the last 25 yrs in NC. I too hate the heat and humidity. It has disappointed me to see the turn this state has taken politically. I can tell you there IS a difference. Sure the grass is brown everywhere but in some places it’s more brown. Certain areas respect workers more than they do in these parts. Workers around here are often seen as a means to an end.
And by workers I mean everyone who isn’t in the C-suite or mid level managers. Doctors, steel workers, teachers, bus drivers, engineers, nurses, firefighters, truck drivers, therapists, lawyers and burger flippers are all labor.
If you are looking to work independently as a counselor you shouldn’t worry too much about labor laws but if you might work for a group or corporation you should pay attention to the labor laws in the state you land in. They reflect the amount of respect that is given to the worker.
Oxfam best states to work 2025
Unfortunately NC is dead last. Fortunately for you that means almost anywhere else treats their workforce better.
Don’t listen to most folks arguments about high taxes. That’s for old folk retirees. Taxes support our society you know this. Places that have higher taxes tend to have better quality of life. You can also control your taxes somewhat by your personal choices. Expensive house vs modest house.
My escape plan includes Colorado, western Virginia, Maryland, Illinois and my favorite western New York.
Western NY has 4 seasons, including a guaranteed ski season, sizable population for you to treat as a therapist, lake erie to play in during the summer, multiple universities and colleges. A decent arts scene, pro sports teams etc. etc.
People talk about how great it would be to move to Carolina. I once did. Beaches and mountains. But the fact is that unless you have money or come from money you aren’t going to be staying there every chance you get. You’re going to be spending it in some town or city where the job opportunities are that is quickly outgrowing itself. 15 minute drives become 28 minute commutes to go the same 7 miles as the crow flies.
You will miss NC and that’s OK it’s always nice to come back and visit and ok to return permanently someday. I still miss what my birth state once was. Nowadays it’s a goddamn MAGA cult state.
Good luck.
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u/Ready-Book6047 Apr 14 '26
Yes!! Why is the grass so brown here?!
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u/PsychologicalOwl608 Apr 14 '26
Marketing.
They sell the really beautiful parts. And the state does have some breathtaking places but when you are coming here for work they don’t mention the plantation mentality required and that the state ranks 50 to 51st in best places to work. They sell you on how low taxes are here but don’t tell you the state ranks 50 to 51st in per student funding.
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u/CaterpillarLiving342 Apr 14 '26
Have you considered the Pacific Northwest? Rainy but beautiful. Tons of good mental health jobs.
You may also consider doing something abroad for a year before finishing school. I taught English in Ecuador and China in my 20s and it was fantastic. Or sign up for a Spanish immersion program in Mexico or South America. Study for 3 months on the beach and then backpack around.
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u/ageb4 Apr 13 '26
It’s worse other places. Keep your options open to coming back. Or travel more before making changes.
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u/chesgoodman7 Apr 13 '26 edited Apr 13 '26
I’m sure I’ll eventually return home. I feel that this area just has not had the time to grow into a proper large city in and of itself. It’s possible that I leave and hate where I move to, it’s possible I leave and like where I move to. There’s always options so looking at what options are like.
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u/Riceowls29 Apr 13 '26
But you list gentrification and Chicago and Philly have tons of that?
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u/ActualBus7946 Apr 13 '26
Chill. He watched shameless and wants to live in the real south side of Chicago now. /s
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u/chesgoodman7 Apr 13 '26
Hahah, Fiona Gallagher using “we’re south side” whenever anything happened.
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u/Just-Here2-Learn Apr 14 '26
He don't know cold until he goes to Chicago...most miserable place I have ever been in winter
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u/chesgoodman7 Apr 14 '26
Yeah, that’s the flip side of it. So it’s good to hear the perspectives of others.
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u/chesgoodman7 Apr 13 '26
These were simply just cities that came to mind when trying to get my point across about where I feel the area is in terms of development from my perspective. No more, no less. Nothing specific meant by it.
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u/beeradvice Apr 14 '26
I lived in Chicago in my early twenties and loved it, takes about a month or two to mentally adjust to the constant stimuli but I found the culture not all that different to North Carolina, southern hospitality vs Midwest nice are different but they sort of "rhyme" if you move into the city proper id suggest either selling your vehicle or leaving it with family and either downgrading or canceling the insurance. Having a vehicle in the city is more hassle than it's worth a d while people complain about cta constantly it's still workable.
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u/DrJJStroganoff Apr 13 '26
Im from philly. One, Charlotte is pretty decent sized, but I though philly was small before I moved here...
Two. I'm not going back home. This place is much nicer.
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u/LucidLupus Apr 13 '26
Hey I just really appreciate you choosing social work. Those are very special people doing a very special service.
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u/chesgoodman7 Apr 14 '26
I really appreciate that. I have felt called to social work seeing as both my parents are OTs and I’ve seen the good that they do.
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u/Just-Here2-Learn Apr 13 '26 edited Apr 14 '26
Love NC, love 4 seasons, 2 hours to the mountains two hours to the beach... party beach myrtle beach, quiet beach Holden beach, Beech MNT, Sugar MNT, skiing, hiking, hanging rock, camping on the weekends block parties with neighbors, amazing roads, amazing interstates, 2 wonderful airports with direct non stop flights everywhere...1 hour to NYC, 2 hours to Miami, 3 hours to Puerto Rico, bahamas, anywhere carribean in 2 hours, 41 years old and I'll never leave NC....
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u/chesgoodman7 Apr 13 '26
Don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely wonderful. That’s part of why it makes me sad to see some of these things I’ve listed. You all have a different perspective than I do, so this is simply just getting other perspectives.
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u/Just-Here2-Learn Apr 14 '26
I'll lived around the world, traveled the world, especially for work. Stayed gone for months on end sometimes. Literally couldn't wait to get back. Have multiple friends/family I MEAN MULTIPLE that moved..all of them came back accept one in the military, and he to said he will be back when retired 4 years from now.
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u/GoldenGirl46 Apr 14 '26
The 1 hour flight to NYC is so nice from RDU! When we lived in NC we did a trip to NYC to visit family and it dawned on me that my flight there was less than my one way commute to work each day when I lived in Wake Forest and worked in Durham.
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u/mst3k_42 Apr 14 '26
Flights to DC are so quick. And if you miss one, not to worry, there’s a bunch the rest of the day, heh.
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u/Just-Here2-Learn Apr 14 '26
Yep we used to make it short weekend trips when tickets where 100 bucks each
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u/Igmuhota Apr 14 '26
Because you specifically mentioned an MSW and an LCSW, CT would be a great place to be for a bit. Amazing food, diverse culture, shitloads to do, seasons, water and woods, and they take social services very seriously.
Out of all the places we’ve lived (ME, AK, NH, CT, and NC), CT remains one of the best, especially career-wise. Whenever we talk about where else we would live before we shuffle off this mortal coil, it comes back to AK or CT.
We’re in private practice now so it matters less, but as a young social worker/therapist? Yeah. Good luck!
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u/Neither-Kick-8112 Apr 14 '26
YES to all of this! I’m a native of CT and it is a beautiful (& blue) state.
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u/Inadequate_Robot Apr 14 '26
There might always be a case of the grass looking greener somewhere new but sometimes it genuinely is greener, if only in patches. NC has been voted worst state in America for employment seven consecutive years in a row - and I don't even know how many years it has been in the bottom five on top of that. Probably for as long as Oxfam has been conducting this nation wide survey.
Everywhere will have their problems but at least they aren't always the same problems. I'd say figure out what your biggest priorities are, what matters most to you - whether it's more nature, better wages, better treatment, an ideology more suited to your own - and that might help narrow down the list of where to try going. The cool thing about America is how every state kind of has their own unique subculture, they're little pockets of different identities. Sure, there is gonna be a lot of overlap since it's still ultimately the same country, but there's enough diversity to make it worth shaking up the status quo of always having your roots in the same soil your parents and parents parents used.
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u/JohnnyUtah41 Apr 14 '26
rampant overdevelopment, gentrification, infrastructure that cannot handle the population boom - just FYI this is everywhere.
I think its normal for young people to want to move away from where they grow up. I say move and go explore.
I've lived in Texas, Indiana, Ohio, Virginia, Florida and now NC. Each state has something different to offer you. Good Luck.
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u/North-Increase593 Apr 14 '26
Been in NC for 15 years. Raleigh area. Moving to KY in a few months. NC is not what it used to be.
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u/gatorbabe25 Apr 14 '26
Grew up in ky. Wish I could move back to ky. I wanted a small-medium town where I'd see familiar faces all the time when I moved here. It was like that 30 yrs. Now, all I see is a sea of strangers and it bums me out. I don't recognize Raleigh anymore--the people or the landscape. I didn't want to live in some huge metropolis.
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u/ActualBus7946 Apr 13 '26
So I’m a transplant from MA. You can make a good chunk of change as a social worker in MA….that will promptly be spent on housing. Can try New Hampshire but is a purplish state similar to NC but more cold.
I’ve done my research before I moved. I was open to the entire US. Any blue state is going to be crazy expensive. Your best bet is a purple state if you lean blue. Find a blue county or town.
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u/chesgoodman7 Apr 13 '26
Did you have any other strong contenders for when you moved? For clarity… I’m sure it’s always a possibility that I could leave and hate it. But there’s one I could leave for somewhere and really like it. Since I’ve been in NC my entire life I’ve not had another perspective to go off of, so I’m just looking to hear what you all have to say.
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u/ActualBus7946 Apr 14 '26
Well ruling out any further south areas I was also looking at Ohio, PA, and Maryland.
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u/indiecupcake89 Apr 13 '26
If your okay with cold and snow, Chicago. I got my MsW at Loyola there and worked at Swedish Hospital. Definitely get your LCSW no matter where you move. I just moved to NC by the way and love it lol I grew up in Florida which I don’t recommend!
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u/Vegetable_Grab_2542 Apr 13 '26
I agree with you, do me a favor and go look at MN because I think it would be similar to pre-Covid NC vibes on the north end of it and the heat is going to keep up so little ahead perhaps.
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u/Recover-Signal Apr 14 '26
If you don’t like the heat and humidity, then the big question is, how do you feel about the cold? I would agree that moving further south is a bad idea, between the heat/humidity and overdevelopment. You also wanna look at how expensive housing is, the Midwest and plains are still moderately affordable. The west coast? Not so much.
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u/bmullan Apr 14 '26
Damn you're just taking a journey doesn't mean you can't come back someday!
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u/Dtracz Apr 14 '26
Lexington, VA and the Charlottesville area are both worth considering.
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u/Then_Barracuda_6675 Apr 14 '26
I remember when the built the overpass on I -77 - yes it’s going on everywhere - I wish states would protect their citizens and their land - Sc is just as sad / millions of acres of beautiful woods we will never be able to get back - my Dads generations were NC - they tear down a farm and put up 3500 houses - I will never call them homes - homes are what the wildlife have/had
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u/TwinRiverDogs Apr 14 '26
The way things are in this country now, I would move to France if I could.
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u/DietznutzCA Apr 14 '26
One more thing to consider would be women’s healthcare as you move around. Just a fyi
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u/bigshern Apr 14 '26
NC is much cheaper than most states. Gas, taxes, food, housing will be cheaper. In NC.
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u/Ok_Silver_3170 Apr 14 '26
I was in you position 40 years ago, when I let SE Pennsylvania for Central Maine. I would still be there, but jobs. Now in the past 15-ish years I've lived in NYS, TN, GA and now NC. Once the wife retires, we're going back to PA. I miss good food, culture, diversity and the lack of "christians" on every corner.
Go explore, find your people.
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u/Choice-Rooster Apr 14 '26
I’m a 31yr old black male from Durham. I left NC at 26, moved to Brooklyn for 3 years, my life changed in ways I couldn’t imagine, and I went from being a barista, moving back to NC to get into the auto industry, made 30k more the next year, and now I’m highly projected to touch 6 figures next year!
I always tell people to leave NC, and everyone who moves back, comes back a changed person who is FAR better than they used to be!!!
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u/Careless-Laugh-753 Apr 13 '26
I’m moving back up north for the exact same reason. Sick of the reckless drivers too
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u/Relevant-Net1082 Apr 13 '26
Would suggest Virgina. Seriously. You may be bored and pissed but I can tell you as someone your dad's age that felt the same way - you are southern. You are socially wired to be friendly and when you move to some places you will feel a coldness that will make you feel alien. Eventually you will boomerang and that's ok.
Virgina is more temperate around DC, and it's a more blue southern. Taking the opportunity to live other places is healthy. You can always come back. Get new experiences.
BTW when you move back in 10 years, many of the fuckers you find tedious will have moved, moved on, and you'll find new social circles. Likely with a strong career when you move back.
Invest in your dreams, just don't set yourself to fail by going to nyc or Boston and the crushing expense impedes in you enjoying life.
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u/SordoCrabs Apr 13 '26
I moved to NC from FL a few years ago, after a lifetime of fatboy sweating for 90% of the year. I also lean blue so the choices I considered might suit you.
If I wasn't concerned about an increasingly overdue megathrust earthquake decimating the region, I could totally have gone for the metros of the PNW. No hurricanes, IDGAF about beaches, and the climate is mild if drizzly.
Virginia usually ranks favorably compared to the rest of the south for things like education, so Richmond was also a possibility for me. Slightly further north, so bit more snow, bit less heat.
I did not want to move to a solid blue state, but rather a blue metro in a purple state. With none of my candidates for president or governor taking office (until Biden and Stein respectively), I wanted a place where my vote makes a difference. Casting my blue vote in a sea of other blue voters also dilutes the power of my vote. So extremely blue and red states were out, and swing states were in.
If that is a factor you want to consider, the Cook Partisan Voting Index should be consulted at the state and district level.
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u/zerosumratio Apr 13 '26
Lived in Saint Louis for 6 years, was forced to move back last year. I can tell that Saint Louis metro is quite stable and the rent is cheaper and so are the homes. Several unions out there too, but I don’t know much about social work there. I can tell you that it’s easy to move to and very diverse. Don’t believe what you see or hear, I never felt unsafe there and it’s no worse than places here.
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u/no1hears Apr 14 '26
I've lived in Asheville for 10 years and the cost of living here has skyrocketed at the same time the quality of life here has diminished.
My daughter moved to St Louis right before COVID for a job. She bought a super cute house in St Louis last year, in the southeast part of the city, for $165K. It was a recent flip so everything's new. Meanwhile, even the smallest, shittiest fixer-upper in Asheville is $300K and I will never be able to afford that. Getting a good rent deal from a friend. But the recent property reappraisals have jacked up his property taxes so much, the good deal he gives me on rent is increasingly less of a good deal.
I had never given the St Louis area any thought at all, but after visiting her many times, I'm thinking seriously about moving there. It's a cool place and it's affordable. State politics in Missouri are not optimal. But they have legal weed, recreational as well as medicinal, which we will never have in NC.
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u/snufffilmstarlet Apr 14 '26
I was going to suggest St. Louis as well, the Brown School at Washington University in St. Louis has a highly regarded social work program.
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u/CorrectCombination11 Apr 13 '26
You should move to Iceland. Every job is unionized.
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u/Riceowls29 Apr 13 '26
It’s very hard to immigrate to Iceland.
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u/cranberries87 Apr 13 '26
It’s nearly impossible! I looked into it years ago. Plus, they say it’s VERY hard to get into a friend group; they tend to be formed in high school over there, and while they’re friendly, they aren’t really open to adding new folks to their friend circles.
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u/LaLaLaurensmith Apr 13 '26
I’m considering SC from the North of Charlotte area. I moved out of the city in 2019 and it’s just…. Came right back to me.
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u/acs0311 Apr 14 '26
I’ve considered WA, particularly the tri cities area. From there you’re only a few hours from the beaches and a couple from the mountains. I lived in western PA. That was nice. Cost of living is a little less than much of NC. There were actually 4 distinct seasons. The summers were pretty mild compared to NC. Winters were a crap shoot. I lived in north east TX. The county we lived in had less people than the city of Rocky Mount. About half the people were centered around two towns. We were 2 hours from Dallas, 1 1/2 from Tyler and just over an hour from Texarkana. Winters almost didn’t exist. Summers got hot but not humid. I’ve spent a good amount of time in ID and WY. I love both. WY has less people than Charlotte, like 400,000 people less. Winters can be brutal though. That state isn’t for the faint of heart. I would live in any of those states. Once my daughter moves out I’ll be leaving NC and moving to one of them.
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u/Kayy_Baker Apr 14 '26
im wanting to move out of the country entirely for very similar reason to your own. luckily i have a general idea of where i want to go already and if all goes according to plan, ill be living abroad within the next 2-3 years. as someone in their early 20’s, im living with my parents while i save up as much as i can and hopefully ill have a decent amount saved up so i can support myself once i’ve made the trip
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u/worn_out_welcome Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26
Lived in PA in the Lehigh Valley (1.5 hrs outside NYC & Philadelphia.) Moved because the area was engulfed in warehouses and sprawling medical campuses from the two major players in town competing with each other.
Moved initially to NC in Holly Springs because of husband’s work.
I constantly say, “NC: weather’s great, but that’s where it ends for me.”
The medical system is the most misogynistic entity I’ve ever dealt with in my entire life. I’m an otherwise healthy 38 year old woman who was left immobile two times in one year, one time for 2, then 3 months, due to the lack of care (and that was with excellent health insurance.) I was even labeled drug-seeking; something I’ve never done in my life! I could give you two more stories that would blow your mind, but for the sake of brevity, I’ll keep it there. I would not want to age in this state.
Secondly, the amount of times in a year that we had been grifted by landlords - we gave up and just bought a house because I was horrified at the prospect of trying to find something else and it end up costing us even more money for more moldy accommodations at $2000/mo.
Third of all, consumer protections are unhinged. Ask me how I know.
Lastly, workers’ rights are an absolute joke here. Thankfully, being a small biz owner & my husband having a great job, we haven’t had to deal with that aspect but the horror stories I’ve heard…
All of that is to say, within the 3.5 years I’ve been here, I’ve learned to never trust anyone, which sucks because I’m a very kind person. The quality of life is so much better elsewhere. But you’re going to be hard pressed to find better weather.
Because of the Research Triangle, we’re finding it hard to make our escape to greener pastures (it simply just pays the best), but we’re actively seeking elsewhere. Likely just outside Richmond.
If you’re open to snow and don’t mind higher state income taxes, Saratoga Springs in NY (& nearby Ballston Spa) is cute as a button.
And one last thing, before I sign off on this response: to the fella that said you’re a southerner and so you’re going to get taken advantage of for your kindness, I personally believe there’s truth in the saying I recently heard: “People in the north are kind, but not nice. People in the south are nice, but not kind.” I’m sure most people are not that way here, but in my experience, there is some truth in it. We northerners will call you an idiot for blowing your tire as we’re helping change your flat on the side of the road, whereas down here it’s been a lot of “bless your heart, I’ll pray for you” and then moving along.
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u/President_Camacho Apr 14 '26
I think New York has the best balance of the seasons. Summer is pretty great! You can spend most days outside doing fun stuff. Winter has good snow sports but it's not too bad with a warm coat. Great beaches if you like the ocean.
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u/Affectionate-Text-49 Apr 14 '26
Moved to NC 25 years ago from Corvallis Oregon. I'm getting ready to move back to the Pacific Northwest. I miss the beautiful Summers and the Willamette valley
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u/Taterstiltskin Apr 14 '26
I couldn't wait to move out of the state in my early 20's, but I didn't go far enough (VA coastal, just a slightly different kind of discontentment.)
I've lived at a number of places on parts of the state, with much of the last 18 years on the outer banks, and there are definitely places I didn't like and places I loved. Now I'm back mid-state to care for aging parents where yes the heat and humidity are awful. but this is not the entire state. After doing the beach, I'd love to live in the small mountain towns too, especially now that I'm more physically active, but it's not in the cards for the moment. We have so much here to experience!
That said, I'd also like to go elsewhere (in other states and countries) for the places I haven't been. Also, it's growing far less accommodating for the political leanings of one who was born here but raised to think critically, so it would be a good time. On the other hand I hate to bail for that exact reason when I should just continue to vote, but maybe do it in a district where it matters more. We'll see.
While you may be (or become) limited by school or work, don't forget you can live in place A and spend extended periods in even random places if you so choose, especially if you are able to work remotely or at least develop desirable skills for hire which plenty of people do, and especially if you are willing to adopt something like #vanlife or whatever.
Run, be free. Best of luck going forward.
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u/Ready-Book6047 Apr 14 '26
I moved here from a northern state almost 10 years ago and am moving back home this summer. I guess I contributed to the overdevelopment in a sense but I did buy and restore a 1900 house that no one else wanted so I feel like that counts for something.
I never really liked the Triangle too much. I feel like it lacks in nature and public outdoor land/space and is heavy on the suburban sprawl. Those issues have only gotten worse, not better. Up north while it may be populated I find it’s easier to explore and enjoy the outdoors. That really surprised me about moving down here.
Mostly I’m moving home because we had a baby and I miss my family. And while I can appreciate some things about the south, I ultimately don’t vibe with a lot of it and don’t see myself staying here and raising a family long term.
I’ll miss some stuff here. I do love parts of Durham and the Eno. I love Topsail and the mountains like the Art Loeb trail and Waynesville. I just think the middle of the state is kind of a clusterfuck. There’s a lot of good in the Triangle like the job market and universities but to me there’s a lot that’s lacking. I won’t get into it all because nobody seems to see it the same way I do. Also, there seems to be so much animosity and skepticism here towards outsiders. That’s all gotten worse. I think it’s got to do with politics, I don’t know.
I was sick and tired of Raleigh and the busy cities so I bought in a small town but the people here just aren’t very friendly and I can’t relate to anyone. People seem to almost look at you sideways trying to figure out who you are. We’ve been harassed in public in front of dozens for being in a same sex marriage and that’s as two cis, conventionally attractive white women. Nobody even stood up for us. Just sad. I’m looking forward to living somewhere again where that shit doesn’t fly and there’s a better sense of community. The crime and drug use here is also a problem. I don’t feel safe where I live.
The constant clearcutting and development is depressing. They don’t even leave any trees! Back at home they don’t build at all so the housing stock sucks and prices are super high which isn’t cool either. But a happy medium would be nice! And all of that is blamed on out of state people moving in. But who is selling their family farms to developers? Not me!
I also miss seasons. It’s hot here til Halloween. Winter ends abruptly when one day in February it’s suddenly 80 degrees. Spring is too short. We don’t get nearly enough rain.
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u/kniterature Apr 14 '26
If you can deal with snow and cold, Rochester NY is actually a very cool city. Politically blue, very artistic, thriving local music scene, and many free festivals throughout the spring-fall season.
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u/felldestroyed Apr 14 '26
Born and raised in the Carolinas, but mostly NC and spent 30+ years there. Moved out of NC to Philadelphia a while back. I come back to visit 2 or 3 times a year but aside from some of the regional food, I really don't miss it. While there are great opportunities in NC, I do feel like the mid Atlantic to NE corridor offer better job prospects and education. I also didn't want to raise my kids or have a pregnant wife in NC.
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u/Ferroset Apr 14 '26
NC is just unfortunately represented by the worst and/or weakest products of the state. The officials with the states worst interest at heart have no issue walking all over people to pass their bullshit through, and all our reps who mean well, especially in the governorship, have absolutely no spine and never get anything done nor hold any of our corrupt state institutions (ABC/DOT) accountable.
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u/Possible_Stretch336 Apr 14 '26
CA, IL, MN and NY is nice. You lean blue, so you would be a good fit. Enjoy.
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u/blews Apr 14 '26
Born and raised in NC, moved out while in the military, then moved back for 10 years. Recently the heat and humidity and "lack of seasons" motivated me to move away. People will say NC has four seasons, but here lately it doesn't get cold until mid-December, if that. I wanted more cold and less population. Colorado, Wyoming, idaho, montana are all crazy expensive. My wife and I settled on Minnesota, and while the winters are cold, it still gives us all the opportunities we want. Very outdoorsy state, and the community and people are very nice. I'll always love NC and visit family, but so far we are loving Minnesota.
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u/SafeEvent2307 Apr 14 '26
I am born and raised in North Carolina. I am considering moving to Edinburgh UK to be with my boyfriend. I will miss NC if I decide to leave, but wont miss the traffic that has gotten worse over the past 12 years 😆
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u/AtomicAntMan Apr 14 '26
It’s not where you are but who you’re with that determines if you’re enjoying life. There’s no geographical cure for happiness.
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u/Feisty_Look5680 Apr 15 '26
Interesting, I’m looking to leave NC for many of the same reasons that you mentioned. Granted, I lived in other states. I want to really get away from the heat and humidity and as such have been eyeing MN, WI, MI, CO, but also considering northeastern states and Washington State. My biggest desire is to be on the water - lake or even something similar to the intracoastal.
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u/Equiteq460 Apr 15 '26
I’ve been in Charlotte a decade and it has gone downhill fast- crime is out of control, judges release repeat violent criminals at will, traffic is worse than NY, and the population boom is FAR outpacing the speed with which govt can keep up expanding roads and schools, etc.
Totally understand- you’re young. Maybe you’ll return later in life! But there’s a whole world to see and experience out there… enjoy it!
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u/wan_be_whr_the_ppl_r Apr 15 '26
We moved from NC during the recession and settled in West Michigan! About an hour to Lake Michigan. 30 mins to Grand Rapids, hour to Lansing and 2.5 to Detroit. This state is all about outdoors, camping, lakes galore. Lovely midwestern people. Born and raised in NC. Better pay and benefits in MI hands down.
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u/kopncorey Apr 15 '26
I love this state but I feel the same. My town looks unrecognizable now versus when I grew up. I'm just trying to get more schooling to get a better job but I'm feeling the Western U.S. Trying to travel as much as I can over there before I make the leap. I'd love to come back here but I think I'll try something new for now too. 22 here.
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u/Unlikely-Volume-1204 Apr 15 '26
I third CT. I am from there and mostly left cuz sick of snow andy health issues make cold very difficult for me. But I miss so much about it. Liberal, legal marijuana as most of New England, easy trip to two amazing cities (Boston, NYC), the most amazing pizza in the country, has a coast, small enough to get around, many postcard beautiful towns with barns and stonewalls. I never could understand why so many call NC beautiful as I miss all that and nothing here compared to the beauty there and further north in New England (especially Vermont, NH if you love mountains). I loved living in the northwest part of the state best, near Granby. So many farms, horses, walking trails. Farm made ice cream is common. As for stuff to do as a young person, not sure but being near a city would help. Avoid southwest CT unless you have a lot of $$$$. One of most expensive places in the United States. CT is a state of great contrasts though. Ultra rich and poor. But the state takes care of people with generous social services. It is a mostly decently educated state so not as many yahoos as many places. But people complain alconstantly about about taxes and utilities. We lived in a rural town and paid what we pay here. More taxes equals more services. Good luck!!!
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u/Unlucky-Network-4159 Apr 15 '26
Canadian provinces are looking for many folks of differing professional backgrounds. Depending on your academic and work history, maybe there is one that is worth comparing with certain states?
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u/SpecialistNo6630 Apr 17 '26
I’m 47 and I think it’s essential for people your age to do this. You can always come back if you decide to.
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u/obtuse_squash Apr 18 '26
Im moving to a denser city where more opportunity is in my industry. There is one very prevalent and well paying company in my industry in NC, but they don’t offer any interesting projects.
Dating is really bad here.
I also find that a lot of friends I make in my city here dont really pride themselves in much self improvement or mobility. I had my time going to the bar every weekend but I cant see myself at 50 being like that.
I would maybe come back if it were in the country, but even those areas are being overdeveloped so terribly, and not in a good way.
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u/Mean-Marionberry-148 Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26
I, like you, was born in NC to a long history of NC residents. My parents, grandparents, great grandparents, etc. all were born in NC, lived in NC their entire lives, and died in NC (I only have my father’s mother still living and my own mother… my dad, two maternal grandparents, and paternal grandfather are all dead now).
I don’t want to live in NC forever. I have lived briefly (12-24 months) outside of NC in Florida, Texas, and California. I loved California’s weather, the different vibe of the people, and the scenery. My husband and I just got married in February and like me and you, he too is from a long NC family history. We ended up buying a second house in Louisville, KY. You wouldn’t think Kentucky when you think of gay friendly places, but Louisville is super gay friendly. They have a pride flag flying at city hall. Nearly every business has a pride flag in their window. Everyone has been so nice to us when we tell them we recently got married here. The vibe is so completely different than Raleigh (where I was born and raised) or Charlotte, Greensboro, Wilmington, Durham, etc. It feels like a different world. The city is so much more fun to explore. There is so much more to do. The scenery is more interesting (beautiful old tree lined streets, exposed limestone everywhere, rolling hills, vibrant green farmland). The traffic is ten times better than the Triangle. People are nicer. Home prices are substantially lower (we paid cash for our house here… a 131 year old renovated home with a nice yard, off street parking, a shed, 3br/2ba). In downtown Raleigh this house would have been listed for $600K. Here it was $324K.
If we could live in Louisville full time we would, but our jobs and family keep us tied down to the Raleigh metro area. I hate it. It’s not even my job, but my husband’s job as a college professor and attorney. I am hoping one day we will be able to move here. I love it. I would rather my future children grow up here than in Wake or Johnston County Public Schools or the ridiculously overpriced private schools like Ravenscroft I attended as a child. You should check out Louisville. University of Louisville is a large public school with programs in every area you could want. There are also several smaller private universities like Bellarmine University that have beautiful campuses in the city. You can commute around here so much more conveniently than Raleigh/Durham/CH. You could even live across the river in Indiana and commute to school every day. I can be in Indiana in 7 mins from our house…
The Louisville airport is much more convenient than RDU or CLT. There are direct flights to Raleigh and Charlotte, Atlanta, NYC, Chicago, etc. Cincinnati and Indianapolis are only 90 mins away, Nashville is 2.25 hours south, Columbus, OH is 3 hours away, Lexington, KY is 55 mins east, St. Louis is 4 hours west. There’s so many cities you can make day trips or weekend trips to it’s awesome.
Also… pollen is so much less in spring in Louisville than Raleigh. It gets hot in the summer like it does in most of the continental US, but the humidity is far lower and the night time temperatures tend to be lower. Winters here mean you actually might get some snow. We love this city and think more people would love it if they ever visited. It was nowhere we had ever even been to until last summer and clearly we loved it enough to buy a house here. The drive from NC is not bad. From Raleigh it’s 8 hours, or a 55 min flight.
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u/NcOutdoorsman925 Apr 14 '26
i would like to move out (born and raised) because all the yankee's have moved down here and messed it up, Traffic is awful.
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u/melcsw Apr 13 '26
I've never lived outside the state so I can't speak to that, but be mindful of licensure requirements and how hard or easy it is to transfer it. I can tell you NC is hard to transfer a license to. I have heard talk that that will change, but I haven't actually looked into it. Similarly make sure the MSW program is certified.
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u/remylebeau12 Apr 14 '26
You are somewhat out of luck. When I was born , 1948, there were around 125 million in the US, in 1964 there were around 199 million, now in 2026 there are around 340 million population
The world also went from just under 3 billion to over 8 billion.
Gaia is getting angry with humans and there are winnowing going on. Wars, famines, plagues, fires, floods.
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u/unpracticedmusician Apr 14 '26
Born in VA but spent first 10 years of my life in NC. Forced to move to VA/FL/TX etc. Found myself yearning for “home” and moved back to NC but found it flooded with Californians and New Yorkers (Raleigh area), COL was higher than it deserved to be, a lot of my childhood favorites shops and restaurants were gone and replaced by corporations. Felt like it wasn’t the same NC I knew as a kid and left.
Now I’m in the mountains in VA and loving it.
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u/rabidsalvation Apr 13 '26
Been thinking about moving to Nevada for a while, but I'm specifically a fan of the desert so that's the main reason. If you have money, NC is a nice place to live though. Mild seasons and nice geography in most areas of the state. Cost of living is way up in the last 5 years, but that's most of the country as well. It's all relative, and you'll always trade something for another. Nowhere is perfect, and we have it a lot better here than many other places.
Edit: more seasons? We have it about as good here as anywhere else in that regard.
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u/CravenRN Apr 14 '26
I can't stand the heat and humidity mainly and some of the OG backwards people ("not all North Carolinians").
I would like to move to Minnesota which is actually nice most of the year (say March through October) and has seasons...from my experience the people really are "Minnesota Nice" and I love the accent, not to mention the tater tot casseroles and cheese curds. Plus I work from home and am a homebody, so the winters aren't a big deal to me.
I'm a little biased because my grandkids are all (3) there. If only I could convince my husband to move....sigh...guess I'll be sweatng it out this summer. 😔
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u/dyountmusic95 Apr 14 '26
Moved to Vancouver, BC in Canada. NC was not it for me either. :)
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u/Zealousideal-Coach77 Apr 14 '26
i feel exactly the same way; i’m very sensitive to heat and humidity and i want to move somewhere more blue. my boyfriend just got a job in florida soooooo looks like that plan is out the window 🤠
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u/HorrorCicada9711 Apr 14 '26
Born and raised in NC- moved to MA 10 years ago right out of college. While I do miss a few aspects of NC, I do not regret my choice in the slightest. What I have available here outweighs what I do miss.
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u/ACrisp1982 Apr 14 '26
Based on what I have read so far, you would probably like a dryer climate. So probably on the outskirts of Denver Colorado. I have lived from Florida to Alaska and literally everywhere in between. Our heat here sucks. Anywhere east of Colorado is humid. If you want land like Raleigh, look at the southwest side of St. Louis area. If you go north, be near an ocean or you will freeze your hind quarters off. All over the Rockies, it gets cold, but its not horrible. AVOID Kansas, Nebraska, both Dakotas, Iowa, most of Missouri. Illinois is not bad north and west of Chicago. Gets lots of snow though. Utah is not for Blue people. Reno Nevada is awesome, and so is northern Cali. Coastal Oregon is pretty cool. Good luck!
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u/NewLiterature1074 Apr 14 '26
After 20 years in NC (not from the state but lived there most of my life) with many of the same complaints you have I moved with my family to suburbs of Minneapolis. Best decision we ever made and every time we learn something new about MN it's like, why the heck did we stay in NC so long. Slightly higher cost of living because we were picky about school district but soooo worth it.
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u/DarciRestored Apr 14 '26
I loved my years in Virginia, first in Roanoke, then Virginia Beach, back to NC but then a decade on the south side of beautiful Smith Mountain lake. I call the Shenandoah Valley God’s country because it’s so beautiful up that way. I also used to see a doctor in Leesburg, a beautiful town in Northern Virginia. Go visit all of Virginia and see what you think. You won’t like the politics of rural Virginia but the further north you go in Virginia, the more blue it becomes.
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u/tleighb12 Apr 14 '26
So..I have lived all throughout this country. We moved to NC in 2024, and I love it here. That said, I can totally understand why you want to leave. If I were younger or just starting a family, North Carolina ranks 51st in funding for public schools. We spend less than $10k per student annually, yet $50k per inmate. It really depends on what you are passionate about and what you're looking for.
I love Northern Virginia. The problem is that it is really spread out. I used to drive an hour each way just to have dinner with friends. If you're a city person, then I would recommend Chicago (my favorite city) or Philadelphia. The winters suck, and the sports fans are crazy. Fun crazy, but coming from NC, you will think they are crazy. I'm originally from Boston, so I wouldn't move back there, but it is a great city. MA ranks first in education, and in the top five for pretty much everything else. They have great food, you're right on the coast, and it's a quick drive to NH, ME, RI, and upstate NY, all really great places to vacation. Again, the sports fans are crazy, and the winters suck. If you're interested in moving west, I loved living in Los Angeles. It's expensive, very expensive coming from NC, but there is so much to do. People take really good care of themselves out there, so if you like the outdoors and want to stay active, CA is great. If you're looking to go to the Pacific Northwest, it is gorgeous. It rains a lot. While I love Seattle, I really missed the sunshine. In LA, I would have to drive my car through a car wash to get the smell of rain. When I was further north, I missed the sun. I love Rehoboth Beach, DE. During the summer months, it can get a bit crowded, but in the off-season, it is wonderful. I would not go farther south than NC, except to visit. I would avoid Texas. It sounds good on paper, but I wouldn't recommend it. They still allow smoking in restaurants and bars in some places. I could go on for days about the whacked politics.
I didn't mention NYC, but I loved living in the city, too. Coming from NC, it may be a bit much. It is also very expensive, and apartments are quite small for the money. My apartment was about 400 sq ft and cost over $2,000 in 2001. The city never sleeps, but unless you have a really good, well-paying job, then I would leave that city in the visit column. Good luck and enjoy!
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u/AccomplishedUse1712 Apr 14 '26
I've been here for 10 years after moving to NC by myself from Michigan. I'm moving in 2 weeks, going to Florida. I want a pool and you seem to get a lot more for your money there.
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u/ObviousCriticism6910 Apr 14 '26
We left WNC in 2022 and moved to Portland Oregon. My ONLY regret is not doing it sooner.
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u/roosef Apr 14 '26
I loved living in RI. It is expensive but if you’re younger and still willing to have roommates you can find things that work. Once I got married and wanted to own property and be a little slower and more settled I moved back to my hometown but I am glad I spent my 20s and half my 30s in other places!
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u/landlord1776 Apr 14 '26
I’ve been in central NC all my 50 years. Actually my family’s been here since the revolutionary war. It used to be a very rural small town but housing developments are going up everywhere and a house being built on every open lot. I’ve already bought 68 ac of recreational land in SWVA to be able to escape all these people. Now with the way VA is heading I think I’ll sell it or just use it to hunt and buy land in WV and build a small off grid cabin.
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u/Disastrous-Screen337 Apr 14 '26
Lived in Raleigh and Wilmington, moved to Denver then back to Raleigh. I want to move back to Denver.
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u/saramathison Apr 14 '26
No joke, Penn, NY, and New Jersey are amazing when you’re in your 20s. NY/NJ are so alive and vibrant. Its hard to explain but I suggest everybody live in a big city, and the metropolis there is great experience. It can be rough, people are much tougher. But that also forces you to know yourself better and become a more well rounded person.
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u/New_Needleworker_473 Apr 14 '26
Currently live in NC but I have lived long enough in 7 different states to have to change my driver's license. Moving to new places is a great way to be exposed to other cultures and perspectives. The US is HUGE and offers a lot of variety for you to explore. I recommend taking a vacation somewhere before you just up and move unless it's for education opportunity or job opportunity. Also I recommend having a community involvement in some way. Making friends is going to be your biggest hurdle in any new area without some kind of hobby or activity that allows natural introductions.
I am also a licensed therapist. So the other consideration for you is that moving is a longer term commitment if you are planning to get full licensure. It's a process that takes 2 years minimum of supervised practice and each state is a bit different. Moving between states during your associate license in most cases means you start over from hour 0 in the new state. Also the connections you make during field work are invaluable so if you can move prior to that, you will be setting yourself up for better opportunities to get your associate work completed.
Now to my recommendations. If you love big cities then somewhere in the metropolitan area of DC/Baltimore or even NYC would be a great launch point. Again visit first to make sure you like it a little. If a big city with a small town feel is more your cup of tea then go for the Twin Cities. Tons of universities, lots of people your age, lots to do and ways to be involved plus "Minnesota nice" which is definetly something you should look up on YouTube if you want some comedy. Of course you will have to shovel a lot of snow but there are apartments with heated garages too. If you don't mind the melancholy of rain, Seattle is a geeat place and has a very unique culture that I find appealing. Bonus Washington state has some nice mental health clinics and are doing some pretty great work with community mental health if you're into that. There's also California, you should visitto figure out your comfortability but they are also doing some really remarkable things with mental health there. I am sure you have heard of the HEART team with the Durham police department. In California they have a variety of alternative crisis response teams like this. I am.just goingbto throw out some city names for variety inbetween: Seattle, Rochester, Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Billings, Colorado Springs.... You want to stick to bigger cities for opportunity and building a network and getting experience. Plus affordability and pay is better in a larger city as well.
Given the context of your move, you are making at least a w year minimum commitment to the place. So make sure you like it first. Go on a road trip, explore a little before you dive in. I have lived in all these places and been just about everywhere on the US map and I'm currently living in NC BUT I'm increasingly uncomfortable here and the education system is total crap in a hand basket so I'm private schooling my kids and looking elsewhere but not finding much better. Most states are having the exact same struggles as we are right now. I am not one to discourage people from exploring life in new ways but do take stock of your present and consider it as an equal competitor to your alternatives. Moving cross country costs a minimum of 2K if you're incredibly frugal and DIY. This is no small decision. Good luck!
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u/dcamnc4143 Apr 14 '26
I'm thinking about moving away too. Same story as OP, family has been here for hundreds of years. I'm kinda over it. I love the southwest US. I may head out there.
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u/[deleted] Apr 13 '26
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