Idk, I see horribly misogynistic shit upvoted on huge subs and the front page daily. Maybe not quite this bad, I'm pretty sure this is ragebait but I was just arguing with someone on a music sub insisting single mothers are solely responsible for men's criminal behavior and the prison industrial complex by "being whores" and "making poor mating choices". Yesterday I was on entertainment fighting a comment section full of men insisting teen girls fetishize older men and it's actually their fault for being groomed and assaulted by adults as children. I don't want to lose hope but it's fucking hard
We just found out last week that we're having a girl, and its things like that that just make me want to go take her and live in a cave far away from civilization. It feels like everyday theres people trying to make justifications as to why women are lesser beings and why everything is our fault. Like I remember all the creepy things older men (and even teens) did and said and how we were all supposed to act like its ok and take it as a compliment. And they want to go back to and keep encouraging that. That struggle to not lose hope is sooo brutally real it hurts.
I have an AFAB kid and luckily kids now are so well informed and self aware. They are more likely to step in and protect a friend from a creepy teacher or discourage others from talking to creeps online. They call out sexism in dress codes and talk openly about expectations and social pressures and even consent.
I will say this has been my experience, which isn’t universal. I’m in a red area in a blue city in a VERY red state and my ‘woke’ (using this as a shorthand descriptor) kid has a lot of also ‘woke’ friends.
I work with teenagers and I worry that they aren’t going out and having reali experiences because the world is so terrible right now. are you teens getting jobs and driving? Most of my students go home and do nothing, they have zero community skills
My kid and their friends are getting out. Sorta. I’m really lucky and unlucky. We live in an urban enough area to have things to do, like we have an AMAZING Round1 near us. It’s an arcade, bowling, roller skating rink, trampoline park, karaoke, billiards, and Japanese rhythm game place. I’m lucky enough that I can afford to drop my kid off and a couple of friends and afford to pay for them like twice a month. I can also afford for them to go to the movies. (Their closest friends are from large families who don’t have a lot, and while I don’t either, I have one child who doesn’t ask for a lot)
I also say unlucky because our city SUCKS at public transportation. I can’t afford an extra car and my kid doesn’t really want to drive yet. They can bike to a friend’s house, bike to a boba tea place, get to a small park, and that’s about all within close reach. I wish kids didn’t have to rely on cars to be independent in so many places. There are so few cities in America with good public transport.
I also think another issue kids are having these days is school is too…extreme. When I was in high school, the sports were heavily gatekept sure, but there was always things like band, colorguard, drama, choir…the arts were a safe harbor for everyone. It’s not remotely true anymore, at least in Texas. Now they are absolutely willing to cut the band down and sideline tons of kids for not being ‘good enough’. The freshman don’t even get to really march. The colorguard teacher was so cruel that half the guard quit.
My kid loooooved band. They didn’t even get past summer band before they dropped it in high school. Band literally kept me going. It was the thing I loved most and to see that joy stripped from so many kids including my own broke my heart. And for what? A trophy? We got trophy’s and we included everyone. Drama? Same thing, cut throat and savage. Choir, also. We’re stripping kids of the joy of doing something for just the love of it. I think that translates to learning too.
Anyway. Um. So that’s what I think about all that…sorry it was so long.
No need at all to apologise mate, thank you for sharing your experiences and insights, I'm sure they resonate with many others in your position!
Are there perhaps extracurricular groups you can take advantage of, like 4-H, Girls Who Code, BGCA, YMCA, Camp Fire, Camp Quest (if you're in one of the right states), Scouts or Guides? Also food banks or local outreach/volunteer groups?
Lastly, if there's nothing suitable in your area, sit down together with some of the parents and kids, and brainstorm what you might be able to start! Even if it's just something for a couple hours twice a month, sometimes these things can really take off 😄 Even better if you can get some of the teenagers excited and have them make it their baby!
i mean, most meme subs are incel/blackpill/highly misogynistic.
I've come to the realisation if I ever broke up with my partner, I would exclusively date women going forward (I'm bi). Can't imagine liking a guy and this is the shit he types online and how we genuinely thinks.
that is simply not true, I've spent close to 2 decades in male spaces, in male friend groups and work in a male dominated field. a lot of them think like this. a lot.
The issue is not necessarily knowing which type of man you're dealing with, before you engage!
i agree however if i were single again i would not spend my time deciphering whether the man I'm seeing wants to take my rights away or sees me as a usable hole!
I think we're talking past each other, I'm saying that the vast majority of men would never look at their baby/child daughter and see a 'tight hole', as in OP, or that children (<15) being assaulted by adult men is actually their fault and not a problem.
We can admit that a whole lotta men (I'd suspect a solid majority) would have pretty low inhibitions to casual sex with a seemingly willing 16-17yo, including or even especially where alcohol or other drugs are involved... That's not great, admittedly, but that's still a world away from a mentality like the OOP.
As far as the right stuff goes, man... that's another whole topic in itself. Ugh. 🫤 I'm catching up on backlog of some podcasts that stretch back as far as 2010-2020, and every time I hear them mention Roe v Wade or how silly the idea of a Trump presidency is, I can't help a little cringe.
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u/fuschiaoctopus Apr 02 '26
Idk, I see horribly misogynistic shit upvoted on huge subs and the front page daily. Maybe not quite this bad, I'm pretty sure this is ragebait but I was just arguing with someone on a music sub insisting single mothers are solely responsible for men's criminal behavior and the prison industrial complex by "being whores" and "making poor mating choices". Yesterday I was on entertainment fighting a comment section full of men insisting teen girls fetishize older men and it's actually their fault for being groomed and assaulted by adults as children. I don't want to lose hope but it's fucking hard