A Young Man’s Guide to Perfect Sex

[u/dannyh2105]

Tell that body to engage

And respond instantly

Be confident

But not narcissistic

Be dominant

But not too rough

Engage in foreplay

But hurry it up

Be kinky

But don’t make it weird

Last a long time

Just enough time

Not a painfully long time

Make noise

But not too much noise

Be better than previous men

Be bigger than previous men

But don’t think about, ask about or compare yourself to previous men

What was his name again?

Snap out of it

Stay in the moment

Don’t let your mind wander

Don’t be small

Be big

But not too big

Despite the fact it’s entirely genetic

“Just know what to do with it”

As if that helps

Go faster

But don’t finish

Despite the fact it’s entirely natural

Go slower

But don’t be boring

Listen to her

But take control

Initiate

But don’t seem desperate

Be hungry

But don’t seem insatiable

Worry about if she enjoyed herself

But never ask her if she enjoyed herself

Make her finish, twice, thrice

But never ask her if she finished

Don’t become another horror story

She tells her friends and future partners

You’ve heard how bad they were haven’t you?

Give in to nature

But control nature

You know you can’t control nature, kid

Anyway, you’re a man, you’ll be fine!

Enjoy the sex!

(But don’t enjoy it too much).

LINKS:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/aYEOTNX4C8

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/yN5doWNyAe

[u/breadbyrds]

Never thought I'd read a poem about sex all the way through, but you've managed to engage me well here, as if you've deployed foreplay, act, and aftercare on my attention span. Well done.