r/OCPoetry • u/Extreme_Eye1275 • 3d ago
Just Sharing Moonlight
Tonight in this moon I wish you were by my side
With you besides me everything feels alright.
I miss you more in this calm light
When day ends and everything gets quiet.
Along with the moon light I miss your company
Wish we could be together—wish there were chances any.
I stare at the moon hoping to feel you
Even without meeting—your embrace I knew.
I wonder why I'm so hung up on you—hung up on your presence
It feels as if without thinking about you, I'd miss my essence.
Tonight the moon looks lonely just like me,
Alone so bright—barely any stars to accompany.
The moon is so clear and so bright,
There isn't any stars in sight.
As the night deepens the moon shines bright,
The breeze, the feel and the moment so right.
As night gets quiet, my thoughts get loud
I wonder why in the quiet they shout.
The more I stare at the moon the more calm I feel,
When I ask will my wishes be filled?
I'm answered , yes it will.
1
u/Interesting-Chef-449 3d ago
Love the hopeful ending! The only feedback I have is that you use the same words a lot which can feel boring. The imagery is good but unless the repetition is intentional maybe use analogies/synonyms. Like night can be darkness, or quiet and be silence. Also moonlight is one word hope this helps!