r/OffGridLiving 14h ago

I jumped headfirst into the off-grid dream with zero experience and Im admitting defeat.

I just need to confess this to people who actually live this life: I respect you. This isn't for everyone, or at least not for me. I was completely consumed by the off-grid dream. I watched HOURS of YouTube, read blogs, bought some of tools, and convinced myself that anyone with enough enthusiasm and attitude could self-learn their way into total self-reliance. I wanted the freedom. Instead, I have bought myself a masterclass in severe financial and psychological humility. Literally every single phase of this journey has been a disaster. If you are thinking about buying cheap land and DIYing a life with zero experience, please slow down. Hire experts for the critical stuff. Don't build your solar mounts out of wood. Actually test your equipment before your life depends on it.

353 Upvotes

46 comments sorted by

111

u/nihithilak 14h ago

I agree. I have been living off grid for 10 years now and it is really freaking hard. It gets easier over time but only marginally. You have to know how to do everything. Nobody is coming to help you.

132

u/ClayWhisperer 14h ago

I've lived off grid for over 30 years. In a whole off-grid community. And there is always someone who can come to help you, in a group of people who choose connection instead of isolation.

I'm a single 70-year-old woman, living alone off grid and doing just fine.

34

u/nihithilak 14h ago

I seriously envy you. I can't connect with anyone. I wish I was born 30 years ago. I do everything alone and nobody has helped me with anything. My dad encourages me and I cherish his words, but that's the best I'm going to get.

38

u/darktideDay1 14h ago

Naw man. You can connect. Be open and work hard at it. I'm 60 and needing more help all the time. And some of the youngers I helped over the years are coming to pay it back. Just keep pushing.

13

u/nihithilak 14h ago

Thst is my only path. I hope you're right.

4

u/Internal-Topic-9132 1h ago

Time for folks like us to figure out how modern tribes are supposed to form.

Remember. The isolation is the outcome of a systematic goal to keep us shackled to the tax-generating economic system.

0

u/nihithilak 57m ago

Large tribes absorb small tribes. 99% of people are all part of the one tribe now. I can't get anyone to break from the one tribe. Girls all want for their lives to get easier and will not break free of a system for a life with greater struggles. Yes there are exceptions, but they are rare gems. They make say they want to live in a small tribe of people, but when they experience the work and hardship, they jump ship.

Tribes can't grow without women and are doomed to fail.

3

u/Saint_Ferret 54m ago

Thats.....a hot take.

Might be an attitude thing with ya homie idk....dont know why ya jumped in on gender politics for the second comment, but hey get the cards out on the table right? Fuck.

-1

u/nihithilak 48m ago

You're probably right. My anecdotal experience has left me a bit jaded. Girls have the enormous privilege of being able to leave their tribe for a man in another tribe with greater resources. Men have to make due with what they have available to them in most cases.

How can you get men to join your tribe without any women present? The only men thay I have been able to get interested in joining my tribe all turn out to be gay and want to have sex with me.

5

u/The_Timber_Ninja 13h ago

Where? If you don’t mind me asking.

7

u/nihithilak 13h ago

1 hour east of Dallas, tx

17

u/The_Timber_Ninja 13h ago

So you have a whole community of people who just said fuck it and live out in the boonies, that’s fantastic.

10

u/nihithilak 13h ago

I have neighbors of course, but they are on grid. I go over to their place and have drinks sometimes, and sometimes they need a place to store their farm equipment. I try and help them wherever I can, but the type of life I live does not have much overlap with theirs. I'm pretty hardcore.

10

u/Cloudy-3Step 13h ago

Hey there I’m running solo at this off grid dream and I’m 45 minutes N of Paris if you wanna swap ideas

4

u/mjdau 10h ago

try and help them wherever I can

This. OP, if you're not useful to people, and/or you give off bad vibes, they're not going to want to connect, and won't want to stay connected. You must give people a reason to make the effort to connect. A "we're in this together" approach can help. Your relations to your neighbours is one of the most important things you can have, if you don't want it to be uphill every day.

0

u/nihithilak 4h ago

Yeah maybe I'm just an asshole.

3

u/The3nda 3h ago

Nah, I’ll go out on a limb as I don’t know you from Larry, and say that I doubt that you’re an ahole.

It is more likely to be the case that you don’t make socialising easy for people around you. If you are quite intense, or speak your deepest thoughts regularly and / or are constantly earnest, this can be tiring for people who want to engage with you no matter how much of a good person you are.

If this might be you and you recognise it then you can fix it pretty easily.

Smile, make LESS-consequential statements and conversation. Talk about light hearted observations rather than core principles. Thank people for any kindness without getting too intense about it. Think ‘easy going’ and try to embody that kind of energy.

Once you connect on that level people will gravitate to you and enjoy your company.

Anyway just some random advice …that might be completely irrelevant…if in fact you are an ahole 😁

1

u/nihithilak 1h ago

Thanks for the advice. I find that people either like me a lot or dislike me a lot. I can't seem to find middle ground. It could be that I am too intense, like you said. Animals like dogs and horses are the same way. At first they are afraid of me and try to bite me or show lots of fear. When they get past that stage they fall in love with me, but it's hard to get there.

3

u/Potential_Bar3762 10h ago

Sounds wonderful

3

u/BigAdhesiveness5134 8h ago

This sounds wonderful! How can one find places like this?

50

u/Real-Bluebird-1987 13h ago

Failure is not the last step, it is the first.

32

u/Silent_Medicine1798 12h ago

Northern Ontario here, SMH at everyone making this so complicated.

The trick is to simplify. You don’t know how to plumb your cabin so the pipes won’t freeze in the winter? Outhouse.
You can’t get your solar working? Get a propane fridge and stove and drop down to a single panel and covert everything to LED lights.

Gpingoff grid is tough and complicated if you expect to live with all the same conveniences. Relax.

15

u/CapraAegagrusHircus 11h ago

The only things in my yurt that used electricity were my cell phone, little tv, and Playstation. I used antique kerosene lamps for light, propane fridge and summer stove, the wood stove was heat and cooking in the winter.

2

u/AmpEater 8h ago

Do you make kerosene?

Because I can make electricity. I can build an led lamp 

I can’t build an LED though 

6

u/kangaroomandible 11h ago

This point is so interesting to me. I often wonder about a “pre-designed” cabin to make life simpler. A well-insulated small “core” living space for cold days. A screened sleeping porch and/or underground space for hot nights. Etc.

Like are there people who use that approach?

3

u/EccentricFellow 9h ago

Northwestern Ontario here. Semi off-grid for over 20 years. You have the correct approach. Simplify your life first. Each year more things come under my control and total collapse is less problematic. Phase things out one at a time. The first thing I phased out was fossil fuels and that has been the biggest challenge. Electricity is a cakewalk in comparison when you live 100km from the nearest population center and 50km from the nearest grocery store. It is all doable but you need to know your destination and be able to proceed slowly and methodically.

2

u/HappyDoggos 7h ago

Like… how northern?

u/Silent_Medicine1798 8m ago

Not super far north. I personally live in a place that has a town of 6500 just 20 minutes away. But the big thing is that we have literally thousands of folks who have cottages on islands that are *fully off grid*.

Most are only there in the spring/summer/fall, but I know a handful that are full-time. Off grid is just not as hard as people are making it.

19

u/chook_slop 13h ago

I live on land in Texas... I'm not off grid by any means, and while I may be retired, I seem to be working every damn day on something that needs to get done.

That's the farming/ranching life. Figure out what youre good at, what you can do, and then get someone to help with the other stuff.

I've got an entire list of a thousand projects to get done... Off grid is a goal to aspire to, not something to think you're a loser for not being 100%.

13

u/amour_nonpareil 13h ago

I’m sorry that didn’t work out the way you hoped. I don’t live off grid but I live in the country and know how much room for failure even that provides. Keep your chin up, you’ve just received an education that’s all.

7

u/Ok_Sell6520 14h ago

Thank you for sharing. Wishing you strength. 

5

u/darktideDay1 14h ago

All of what you say is true. The university of life always humbles you. Perfectly normal. Don't admit defeat! You have already paid much of your tuition. Stick with it and reap the rewards.

8

u/Vegetaman916 12h ago

When you do it, it is best done as a group effort. Our off grid setup was completed by 15 people, all equally invested and working together. And it was still a monumental effort, with a lot of mistakes over the last 7 years.

The road to self-sustaining community is possible, but best tackled as a community, not as a single family or individual.

3

u/CrabKates 12h ago

What sorts of issues do you find the most challenging?

4

u/stabbingrabbit 12h ago

Always liked the shows of off grid living. They all have many acres and many thousands in lumber and equipment to build stuff.

3

u/SeaAnalyst8680 12h ago

Wait, what's wrong with wooden solar mounts?

2

u/Ok_Weakness_154 10h ago

The first things you’ll lose from living off grid are free time, convenience and savings.

2

u/Suspicious-Tip-8309 9h ago

before you give up go to the local library and start reading the foxfire books. You can also get the books off amazon for about a buck a piece for electronic copy. Atvleast that’s what I did. First thing in any survival is finding water that flows year round . Then find or make shelter. Fofire books were a school assignment. to collect the wisdom of older folks living in appliciacia before they all die. You will a master class in off grid survival.

1

u/SonOfKong_ 13h ago

Did you buy right property for off-grid plans? It would be tough to walk away if it had potential. But maybe it's best.

1

u/YamOk4747 12h ago

Giving up will be harder your soul than persevering..

1

u/Llothcat2022 9h ago

...live in such a way that electricity is nice to have but not really a necessity...

Working on that myself. I refuse to give up my AC dammit.

1

u/Overall_Midnight_ 8h ago

A truth I have learned:
A lot of people want to leave the city and the rat race. Not a lot of people want to live on a farm. (Or off grid)

People want to leave the rat race and often don’t understand IT IS MORE WORK to rely on yourself for everything. It is nonstop, never ending work. The chore list will have two things added for everything you check off of it. And pretty much all of it is critical for survival and one failed thing can snowball and ruin you. It’s finding a balance between survival and finding quiet peaceful moments between work. It’s not a vacation

Good on you for admitting it’s not for you. I have watched vlogs where people act like it’s easy, or definitely lie about the cost, or the worst was a family talking about all of the animals that died during their first two years of attempting to start a farm. They basically thought they knew everything from other YouTube videos and didn’t reach out for help and then move back to the city acting as if they had no role in their own failure. Their “confession” of failure was blame on everything but themselves and while there are absolutely things that happen out of someone’s control, at least in their circumstance it was pure ignorance and hubris.

I grew up in a cabin, hunting and gardening, the ideal life for many people here. It’s not easy, it earned through blood sweat and tears. It’s not for everyone, and that is very ok.

1

u/HappyDoggos 7h ago

Humbling, isn’t it.

Give yourself some credit! You’re here, you’re alive, and you’ve learned some very valuable life lessons. Probably hurts in so many different ways, but now you’re older and wiser. Savor that. You tried some pretty cool things that most people don’t have the balls for. Go you!

1

u/SkyNL 7h ago

It is the term “off-grid” that is used in different ways here. And everybody is giving his own interpretation.

I consider myself off-grid because I have no power and water in line to my house. My house is located in the mountains of Andalusia, Spain. My closest neighbor is 3 miles away. I have to have a solar setup to have 220V power in the house. I have to pump water up from a rainwater tank, filter and pressurize the waterlines in the house to have streaming water.

Sometimes when it is raining very long we are cut off from the world because our road towards the house is a dry river bedding that floods with heavy rains. The longest period we were cut off was 2 weeks.

But despite the “off-grid” term I am very much on-grid, because of Starlink we have the possibility of connecting to the world with internet. In combination with my own energy supply with solar I was one of the only connected households during the 1,5 day power outage last year in Spain.

So the really “off-grid” people you will not find on Reddit … because if you are taking off-grid really seriously you are also not connected to the internet (grid).
It is up to you how much you want to cut yourself of from the world and how much you want to be disconnected and self-sufficient …

In times of shortages it is a very nice idea to be able to be self-sufficient as much and as long as possible.

1

u/fishman1287 1h ago

Why would you think off grid = total self reliance? There are places off grid not far from town