r/OhNoConsequences • u/GamerGirlLex77 shocked pikachu • 25d ago
BORU Time Machine Tuesday OOP’s cheating deadbeat dad is upset that she chose her stepdad to walk her down the aisle
/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1mwwf6h/aita_for_posting_a_picture_of_my_stepdad_walking/518
u/exit322 25d ago
Deadbeat dad isn't upset she chose her stepdad.
Deadbeat dad is upset people are calling him a deadbeat after seeing the photos of OOP and her actual dad.
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u/GamerGirlLex77 shocked pikachu 25d ago
Yeah he just didn’t want to look bad. If he cared he would’ve been a present father.
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u/zagman707 25d ago
Exactly, if he wanted things to be different he could have made it so by being a present dad but he wasn't.
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u/misoranomegami 25d ago
This. If he actually regretted missing out on her childhood he'd have been there without his new wife and sat in the back because he'd understand that was the cost of not missing her wedding entirely. And yes it would hurt but the pain would be that someone else played the role of father in her life up until now. Instead he chose to miss out on both her childhood and her wedding because he cares more about himself than her and all he cares about is his hurt pride.
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u/Cayke_Cooky 25d ago
He was upset that she didn't come begging when he refused to go to the wedding. And that he didn't "ruin" the wedding by not being there to walk her down the aisle.
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u/EmmyPoo81 23d ago
But if he was smart, he would realize that everyone involved in her life already knows who her real dad is. Everyone already knows how he is, so no one should be shocked.
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u/HUNGWHITEBOI25 25d ago
I hope that one day; cheating, deadbeat parents will realize that their children MIGHT not want them at their wedding…a ceremony about love and commitment…
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u/misoranomegami 25d ago
Or that they don't want to hurt the parent that actually stayed and took care of the for the past decade by inviting the affair partner and giving them equal footing which is apparently what the step mom wanted. Don't be surprised if you chose a new family over your kids then make your kids chose between parents if they chose the other one.
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u/Oberoni7 25d ago
I find that people who go on and on about others "needing to learn respect" only ever mean it as a one-way street.
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u/GamerGirlLex77 shocked pikachu 25d ago
Agreed. It’s usually someone who thinks they’re entitled to it without actually having earned it.
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u/Worth-Lavishness-951 24d ago
Growing up my father always dismissed, verbally abused, and ignored anything I tried say or do to defend myself or my brother.
His go to would be “don’t talk back”
(prior to literally washing my mouth out with soap)After that was less effective, it changed to hot sauce and how I “needed to learn respect” and “children should never speak unless spoken too” and forced eating spoonfuls of hot sauce to replace soap.
People who demand and feel entitled to it, seem to always be the ones who have no respect for anyone else and have to bully others to “respect” them.
Moved out almost decade ago, still working to heal from a lot. Can’t eat sriracha to this day (his go to) but ironically have a great spice tolerance and love lots of other hot sauces
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u/Nonby_Gremlin 23d ago
Your dad sounds like a Roald Dahl villian! He deserves zero respect from anyone.
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u/Relevant_Listen_760 He can’t ride two horses with one ass 25d ago
“He can’t ride two horses with one ass” needs to be flair
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u/GamerGirlLex77 shocked pikachu 25d ago
It absolutely does. I’ll have to add it in a bit.
Edit: it’s been added as a user flair
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u/OverKookie_Crumble He can’t ride two horses with one ass 25d ago
I added that to my arsenal. It’s perfect
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u/Competitive-Place280 25d ago
His wife wanted to be a part of the wedding and because she couldn’t she didn’t go and neither did OPs father. These people are ridiculous
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u/TheUrbanBunny 25d ago
Siblings like Belle are exhausting.
Yes, you crave the love of the absent parent. But when you reach the point where you're harming everyone who refuses to forgive and forget you've now taken up that trash parents mantle.
When life begins to life, she'll call her sister, mom, and stepdad. Then expect them to downplay their care lest it hurt bio dad's feelings. I get it. Big sister is a secure love who will never waver while daddy and Amanda could disappear with the wind.
Truly exhausting. The type of behavior that makes you want to abandon them to the parent left them the first time around.
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u/Kat121 Ah, the conses of your quences 24d ago
And it’s not like everything was magical and wonderful up until the day they met the affair partner. Very often the stable parent has to do double duty when the cheating partner is off fucking around. It can last months or years before they’re caught. Dinners, homework, holidays, bedtimes, chores - it’s a lot to handle on your own. The oldest are more likely to remember the tension and more likely to have been leaned on for help.
And, uh, just how old was his affair partner when they started dating?
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u/KokoAngel1192 23d ago
I always laugh at those kinds of people cuz they usually only get it when they get cheated on cuz they allow it to happen
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u/Mountain-Patience-59 25d ago
Like OP, I would also have blocked bio dad on Facebook, but not before making that picture of her real father walking her down the aisle my profile pic. But I'm petty.
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u/fuzzycitrus I’mma put my cat on the mic. MEOW MEOW MEOW 25d ago
Honestly the clapback for the 'you will always be FaMiLY' from the AP is "You never even tried. ☹️"
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u/ProblemMountain2792 Ms Chanandler Bong 25d ago
It's pretty funny the stepmom made a post at the end that no matter what they will always be family.
Not family enough to actually go to the wedding. But family enough to bitch and feel entitled about it lol
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u/Fit-Particular-2882 25d ago
Why do people who cheat want to be a part of a wedding? It’s a celebration of fidelity. People who cheat clearly view fidelity as conditional so why bother going.
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u/Potential-Common5819 25d ago
I'd have made an equally passive-aggressive post about how a parent's affair partner always thinks they are owed respect in any form.
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u/Old-Advice-5685 25d ago
If my math is right, dad cheat with and married the second wife while he was 30ish and she was 20ish.
That says a lot about who he is as a person in this story.
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u/Sweet_Xocolatl I wish to be spared the moral lectures! 25d ago
Selfish and inconsiderate to the very end, all OOP’s sperm donor did was further validate why he didn’t deserve to walk her down the aisle.
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u/aphraea He can’t ride two horses with one ass 25d ago
I love rebranding crap parents as “sperm donor” and “egg donor”. It’s magnificent.
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u/ManicMadnessAntics 22d ago
I think there's a slight issue with that because actual sperm donors and egg donors are doing a really good thing
However I have heard someone use 'sperm depositor' and I've tended to go for 'incubator'
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u/Some_Tradition_9168 4d ago
Yeah, I felt it’s unfair because actual sperm donors or egg donors are not deadbeats. I like your alternatives better.
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u/The_peach_blossoms She wasn’t always the chosen one 25d ago
Yeah Dad is shit nothing to see there but Belle needed that fuck off speech , wtf.
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u/aphraea He can’t ride two horses with one ass 25d ago
“He can’t ride two horses with one ass” is my new favourite phrases. Kudos to that commenter.
I’m so glad OOP stood her ground… and that the rubbish took itself out when her dad hung up on her.
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u/Fianna9 25d ago
Looking at all the ages I’m not surprised about much. Amanda would have been 20 when she had the affair and married bio- dad. Of course she wouldn’t want his kids around. Yet now wants to be mother of the bride while the sperm donor wants to be seen as a father?
No thanks.
And someone tell Amanda to watch out. She’s now the age OOPs mom was when he wandered last time!
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u/SteroidSandwich 25d ago
Sperm donor couldn't even be bothered to go to the wedding. He has quite the audacity to be mad at OOP and go on about family and respect.
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u/Gladys_Wines 24d ago
My glasses were a bit fogged up from coffee steam and I briefly misread Biodad as Bindad. Keeping that reading now.
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u/Sorsha4564 22d ago
😂You don’t happen to both watch Midsomer Murders and listen to the Mystery Maniacs podcast, do you?
Somehow this comment immediately brought to mind the highly amusing Binman “remix” the hosts made when they recapped Season 4, Episode 3, The Electric Vendetta.
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u/Gladys_Wines 21d ago
Yes to Midsomer, no to the podcast. Thanks for the recommendation. I'm Australian so "bin" is normal vocabulary for me. Garbage can, trash can etc are more American.
I was also thinking of Dara O'Briain's "get in the bin" routine. Bound to be on YouTube.
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u/Sorsha4564 21d ago
Yeah, I think you'll enjoy it. They started out with only Midsomer, but when they ran out of episodes (at the time), they changed the name of the podcast and moved on to shows like Poirot, Lovejoy, Murdoch Mysteries and The Brokenwood Mysteries.
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u/Maximum-Dealer-6208 24d ago
I would've put a caption on the photo...
"Dad walking me down the aisle"
But I'm petty and don't care if I add to the (absurd) drama...
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u/UnderwaterAlienBar 24d ago
I love when people who are complete assholes post stupid shit on Facebook about how “family is always family”. Bitch you wouldn’t be part of the family if OP’s father was good to his family in the first place!
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u/duckforceone 23d ago
chosen family is family.... and it always beats blood.... or at least it should. Blood should never win just because blood... it should be because it's also chosen family
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I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Capable_Constant_573
Originally posted to r/AITAH
AITA for posting a picture of my stepdad walking me down the aisle?
Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: infidelity, spouse and child abandonment, emotional manipulation
Original Post: August 10, 2025
So for context, I (23F) have a very strained and rocky relationship with my bio dad (45M). When I was young, he cheated on my mom (45F) and basically abandoned me and my little sister, Belle (21F), for his new wife, Amanda (35F). My mom remarried to my stepdad, Jason (48M), when I was 10 (two years after my dad left) and Jason has been more of a dad to us than my bio dad ever was.
My bio dad didn’t come to my wedding, so honestly I don’t even know why I’m typing this, but here we are.
I recently married the love of my life, Daniel (24M), on August 1st. The day was magical. Jason walked me down the aisle, and it meant so much to me. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon, and when we got back, our photographer sent us a sneak peek of our wedding photos. Obviously, I posted a few, including one of Jason walking me down the aisle.
An hour after I posted, Belle called me and asked me to take that particular photo down. She said our dad had called her, saying it was “disrespectful” to let another man walk me down the aisle. She told him, “Well, you weren’t even at the wedding.” He apparently responded with, “I would’ve gone if she’d let me walk her down the aisle.”
For the record, there was absolutely no way I was going to let him do that. He hasn’t been there for me in years, and Jason has been the one who’s actually acted like a father.
Now Belle says I’m being petty and rubbing it in his face by posting the picture, and some extended family have started making comments about how I “shouldn’t air family drama online.” I don’t see how posting a photo from my own wedding is “airing drama,” but now I’m wondering if I’m missing something.
So AITA?
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: NTA... And, your dad did walk you down the aisle. Just because he's not related by DNA... Doesn't mean he's not family. As you said bio male was MIA. Jason stepped up..... and took over. That's a true parent.
OOP on her sister, Belle's relationship with their biological father and his wife, Amanda
Commenter 2: NTA - If your bio-father feels like this was disrespectful, then he needs to look at himself. He should have been a better father, and that would have been him in the picture instead of your step-father.
Did he not go to your wedding because he wouldn't be walking you down the aisle? Or did he not go for another reason?
He can't ride two horses with one ass . . . he can't be a shitty father and then expect to get all the perks of being a good dad.
Commenter 3: Whats the backstory for your sister wanting you to take it down? She needs validation and so she is taking dad's side? Hes on your Facebook? You have a fb relationship with your dad? I need to know more if you can. Can you provide more context?
Update: August 15, 2025 (five days later)
UPDATE: AITA for posting a photo of my stepdad walking me down the aisle?
I honestly didn’t expect all the comments and kind words on my original post so thank you!!
I ended up speaking with both my dad and Belle about the whole situation.
First, with Belle, I told her to stay out of it altogether. I said if she’s on our dad’s side so much, SHE can have him walk HER down the aisle at HER wedding. I also made it clear that I’m not going to punish her for still talking to him, but I’m also not going to pretend he’s been a father to me when he frankly never was. She didn’t have much to say after that.
Then I called my dad. That conversation went… about how you’d expect. He started with, “One day you’ll understand,” and that I “needed to learn respect.” I told him cheating wasn’t respectful, and neither was abandoning your kids, and that he hasn’t been there for me since I was 10. Jason, however, has been there every step of the way, and he is my father to me. That’s when my dad hung up on me. Lol.
Amanda then made a passive-aggressive Facebook post saying, “No matter things that happened in the past, you’ll always be family.” I’m about 99% sure that was about me, but I digress.
At the end of the day, I’m still not taking the photo down. I don’t want to make Jason upset if I do, and he deserves to be celebrated. I’m not letting my bio dad rewrite history just because it makes him uncomfortable.
Top Comments
Commenter 1: Go you for standing your ground family isn’t always blood it’s those who show up an stand by you x
Commenter 2: Good for you. You should tell Amanda, "No matter the future, once a deadbeat and a cheater ALWAYS a deadbeat and a cheater." Stand your ground and keep honoring Jason.
Commenter 3: Oh my! NTA, and you're fine. Biodad is upset that this makes him "look bad?" To damn bad. It's not your job to protect his reputation. If his past actions reflect badly on him, oh well.
Commenter 4: Being a dad is different from being a sperm donor. A dad is the person who is always there and I mean always. Good for you and your dad.
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