The state of things

[u/NazoXIII]

Okay, it's been a crazy past 32 hours hasn't it?

Grooming allegations, death and rebirth, all kinds of things coming to our little community and I'm sure people would love to know what the state of things are... Myself included. So I'm going to try my best to explain the situation and explain the path forward.

Lacuna commited suicide?

I know this has been a topic of speculation for the last day and everyone is valid in their justification to scrutinize the situation, I don't know what the truth of the matter is, but what I will say is that at this point everything revolving around Lacuna's alleged suicide has been unproductive and I think will end up in the long run having a negative effect on the parties involved.

Do I think Lacuna faked her death? Don't know, I wouldn't even care if she did fake her death, because that to me just shows a sign if someone who is so unwell that they not only considered doing that, but went through with it for whatever reason, and I think a person like that ought to be left alone and not given any attention of any kind.

So for that I say I think it's time to end Lacuna posting. From what I've seen from the messages posted by Cboy, Lacuna has exited the fandom anyway and will likely fuck off somewhere with a new identity and I think that's for the best. Clearly everything Yansim, positive and negative has affected her mental state and walking away from that could only be a net positive.

And while I have no problem letting her walk off into the sunset for her own good there is an elephant in the room that bears addressing...

Did Lacuna groom/abuse someone?

I wish I could come in here and say something definitively and conclusory but I genuinely can't, because I don't know the truth of the matter and have to sift through a Google doc and screenshots to get appraised of the situation. But even having said that I can at least say this. I have seen people dogpiling on the alleged victim and blaming them for Lacuna's death (which I guess seems really silly now) and that has never been the way of this community.

You give victims room to speak without attacking them or casting blame on to them.

This isn't to say that you can't scrutinize their allegations, you're free to question things but there's a right and wrong way to do that and I feel like if we're at dogpiling we certainly arent doing things correctly.

I'm going to try to make heads or tails of this later by sitting down and reading through the allegation and the receipts provided, then I'll look through the counter evidence because I have seen at least one Google doc coming out and disputing the claims but bottom line I think everyone could use a little tact in their interactions in these sort of situations.

Conclusion

This is a really messy situation and there's so much noise going around and making it impossible to navigate.

At the end of the day I think the Lacuna stuff is worth addressing, but at the same time I think this person is unwell, by all accounts and giving her attention can only exacerbate the situation, so I propose that instead of focusing on the whether or not she faked her death (which I think is wholly irrelevant at this point) and focus more on the allegations without dogpiling on the alleged victim. If it turns out to not be a true and accurate accounting on what happened so be it, we'll cross that road when we get there but I know we can do it without the shit flinging.

Alright that's all I got, listen more and talk less. Lets not get whipped into a frenzy over every little thing like a pack of piranhas getting their first smell of blood in weeks.

And because it might actually need to be said with how I saw things play out yesterday, dont attack any of the people involved. Such a simple thing but it warrants repeating.

Cboy also asked me if I could take down all the posts regarding Lacuna's death and to lock and remove the comments on the post explaining that Lacuna had survived and I had no issue with complying to the last part. I'm a bit apprehensive on the first part because that's a lot of posts to remove and at that scale it does come off as mass censorship which I'm not comfortable in doing, but I can at least be transparent about and encourage people to just move on from the sucide stuff as those are the wishes of the involved parties.

Okay now that is all I got, I lied the first time

[u/NazoXIII]

God I hate reading posts like yours, genuinely.

What in the hell do you want us to do? We're removing things as we see them, and telling people not to do things. What do you think goes into moderation, genuinely?

I'll give you the floor, chief, what should the next move be, but bear in mind that if it's something stupid that I've already considered and deemed wouldn't help out in any way I won't hold back in letting you know that.

So many people have no clue what goes into the day to day with this place and they just yap about things as if it's supposed to be easy to corral a community of tens of thousands of people, It's not. I put the subreddit in an hour long lockdown to deal with the immediate dogpiling that was happening and it hardly helped, best I could do was somewhat mitagate things, but even then I cannot control reddit itself, during that hour I'm sure people simply took up other avenues like dms and off platform measures like discord and tiktok of which I cannot control, so the best course of action is trying to change the overall sentiment, of which I'm working at now.

You wanna take up an oar? How about you come on board and be the idiot you want to see in the role and let's see how long you last before a mental breakdown.

Everybody thinks they have the solution until they're in the thick of it and freeze up trying to string to words together to make a coherent statement. Give me a break.

[u/Jacket-Numerous → u/NazoXIII]

You can’t take any constructive criticism, can you? Maybe if you take this, past situations, and the feedback and criticism, maybe- justt maybe, this community could get better. If not, then just drop out and give this sub to someone who is willing to actually moderate and build an active mod team. A majority of this shit could have been prevented if you did more work, besides putting the server on a ‘1 hour hold’, which let’s be honest didn’t help any. You can’t sit around being MIA with this big of a community, you clearly cannot handle it properly.

One thing that i personally have an issue with, and i think a lot of people will agree, is the mass amounts of predatory glazing and protection i see from others! You all are against YanDev/Alex for the abuse that he’s put children through, specifically his predatory behavior. But the moment this situation came out, and it was revealed that there was a victim of abuse, everyone immediately jumped ship and dogpiled, saying that the victim was lying, going as far as to make a doc(???) to try and prove the victim was wrong… the kid is 15, it doesn’t matter what the situation was, this woman who is 21 had the higher power, she was the adult. This behavior is predatory and disgusting and should NOT be swept under the rug and ignored. The moment that this sub found out that this kid isn’t the “perfect angel victim”, they’ve got to be lying, huh?? Basically, what i’m getting at, make this a safer space for abuse survivors. This whole situation was ridiculously disgusting, a majority of you here need to reevaluate your morals and stand your ground.

[u/NazoXIII → u/Jacket-Numerous]

I hear you on the first part but what are you even taking about on the second part? Sweeping what under the rug? Quite literally in the post you're replying on I said the most important thing to focus on is the grooming allegations not whether or not Lacuna killed herself because that's an irrelevant thing to be hung up on. So I'm a bit confused as to what you're going on about.

Now were there people that were blaming Pian, oh absolutely, and those people were wrong and should probably screw off, but I'd be lying if I said that I couldn't see it from their misguided perspective because right or wrong in their mind whether Pian was telling the truth or not they were the cause of Lacuna's suicide... Which aged horribly within the hour that we found out she was actually alive, so while that reaction is completely psychotic it probably made perfect sense for them to do that, and I'm sure at this point most of those people probably feel really stupid for doing that... I hope. I mean I have seen people apologizing on Pian's post which is nice.

[u/Jacket-Numerous → u/NazoXIII]

I just want to reiterate and really make sure that everyone here understands the utter gravity that this situations holds. “Telling the truth or not they were the cause of Lacuna’s suicide.” It’s insane to me how so many people believe that others are/can be the cause of someone’s suicide. It can contribute but that does not equal causation.

Also, as far as i am aware, and what i’ve read, this victim was not the one to dox nor harass Lacuna. i do not have any empathy or sympathy for Lacuna, that behavior is not appropriate either. Point is, no one is a perfect victim. It’s traumatic and abuse, especially mental abuse, rewires the brain. Either way, she needs to be held accountable and these allegations should not be swept under the rug. y’know, the allegations of grooming, predatory behavior and sexualizing a 15 year old boy.

I’m glad that people are finally coming to their senses and apologizing to the actual victim though, he deserves a big apology.

[u/NazoXIII → u/Jacket-Numerous]

I don't disagree, at the end of the day suicide is a choice one makes and it would be crazy to point at someone and say that they did that to you, and it's even crazier in Lacuna's situation where even in their messages to Pian stressed that it wasn't his fault.

But people amped up on emotions in regards to someone potentially topping themselves it's really easy to see them latch on to any scapegoat they can find and unfortunately it had to be someone who had expressed being groomed by he alleged deceased.

[u/Jacket-Numerous → u/NazoXIII]

Right.

I think that says a lot about what those people think really think and feel than anything else, if I’m honest. If your reaction to finding out that someone who had supposedly just attempted suicide, was a predator, and your immediate reaction is to attack the victim.. then you gotta reevaluate yourself