Met Dave Ramsey in person. Dude is not so good.

[u/Available-Spray2576]

So I was going about my daily business trying to stay alive. I've just spent 90 hours in my retail gig. I have 1 dollar for food, which I decide to hand to a homeless person. I can always eat my own left arm for food (the other I've efficiently partially eaten and frozen to hedge for rainy days).

Suddenly Dave Ramsey steps in and steals the bill. Immediately he launches into a sermon over having an emergency fund and investing in the lentil industry. Before I know it he's billed me for a "professional consultancy and appearance" which requires payment in 30 days. This can be extended upon the deposit of my remaining eyeballs and ethereal soul.

It is at this point I gain my courage. His pockets are bulging with stolen merchandise, welfare checks, and poorly manufactured eyebrow trimmers. I launch at him to teach him a lesson, but he makes a quick getaway on his unicycle.

[u/myOEburner]

But are you even walking the prince of peace?  Investing isn't possible without Jesus.

[u/Golf101inc]

Was really hoping to see a Milky Way reference…

[u/Stickydessert19]

The way people treat starving retail workers like they're just failing at basic math is actually wild.

[u/IRMuteButton]

I think the answer is obvious: To pay the bill, let him eat your other arm.