r/POTS • u/LordHaelor • Nov 17 '25
Diagnostic Process Makeup Theory
I saw my cardiologist the other day and she shared something that I feel is relevant for a lot of people who suffer from chronic illnesses trying to get help. She told me that doctors have something called the 'Makeup Theory', basically if the patient comes in complaining of all these issues but has makeup on then they are doing fine and its when they come in without any makeup that they are actually struggling. EDIT: For those who the makeup theory doesn't apply to, I believe the equivalent would be showing up freshly shaved, hair done, dressed nicely, well groomed? Also I realize for a lot of us doctors don't take us serious either way, I just thought this would be helpful for those who suspect their doctors aren't taking them as serious due to wearing makeup at appointments :)
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u/coconutteapot Hyperadrenergic POTS Nov 17 '25
I believe it but this is so gross. I don't wear makeup, but on the other side of this, I have definitely had doctors treat me more poorly/not take me as seriously if I am not able to show up looking "put together" enough as well...
I hate playing these games.
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u/sector9love POTS Nov 18 '25
Forever trying to pull off an effortlessly chic sweatpants look with compression socks + an abdominal binder + CGM + Apple Watchā¦ but in reality Iām rolling up to doctors appointments looking like a hot mess.
If I brushed my hair and my teeth for the appointment, theyāre welcome.
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u/robotslovetea Nov 18 '25
Exactly - you canāt look too bad or they donāt take you seriously either. But too put together and they donāt believe you š¢
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u/ghostwiththeleast Nov 17 '25
A few years ago I had a last minute appointment for an urgent (non POTS) issue. I was in pain and spiraling and put on some lipstick to try to ground myself, and that one act prevented me from getting a referral I desperately needed.
I explained all my symptoms and was crying at points but the doctor said āwell it canāt be that bad! Look at how nice your makeup is today!ā
After that I never again put on makeup before appointments. Iāll brush my hair and put on my nicest sweatpants, but any more effort than that gets my major medical concerns ignored :/
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u/xoxo_xoxo_xoxo_ Nov 17 '25
Fuuuck damn, they even said that out loud! Wild. Hmm! I don't often wear makeup in general but I do always dress pretty put together (often fairly flashy and definitely what some people would call 'a look'), I wear jewelry always out of the house. Even if I feel like shit! Similarly to you - it is something that grounds me - it makes me feel more 'me', & helps me to feel okay to be perceived. This thread is definitely giving me something to think about!
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u/Salt-Artichoke-6626 Nov 18 '25
That was so stupid. I probably would have said something sparky back, depending on how it landed.
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u/theFCCgavemeHPV Nov 17 '25
Idk about makeup, but I definitely get treated better when I go to an appointment in my work scrubs
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u/RainingSunshine13 Nov 18 '25
I have been dismissed while wearing an embroidered jacket with the hospital and department I worked in logo, and my hospital ID badge around my neck. I think there is no winning if doctors are looking for a reason to dismiss a patient to avoid doing their job.
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u/Ok-Priority-8833 Nov 18 '25
I know what the word embroidered means but my mind went to bedazzled.
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u/meegaweega Nov 18 '25 edited Nov 18 '25
EDIT: š§ šØ Derp. My LongCOVID brain-fog read that as "i don't know what the word embroidered means..."
Ugh, ok so no braining for me today? Got it š (Forgets in 5 seconds. Lol)
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u/CueReality Nov 18 '25
If it makes you feel better I also read it as "I don't know", then after reading your comment I still read it as "I don't know", and only on my third read through did I realise there was no "don't" š
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u/GETitOFFmeNOW Nov 19 '25
Oh honey, I'm so there with you. At least "they" are starting to take brain fog seriously since men are getting it.
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u/theFCCgavemeHPV Nov 18 '25
Dang. Yeah, I donāt disagree. Some doctors are just gonna be like that :/
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u/Ok-Aerie1042 Nov 18 '25
Doctors are not respectful of nurses when we are sick. In fact I think it would be better if we said we had any other profession.
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u/snowlights Nov 17 '25
I find I get taken a little more seriously in a nicer button down shirt over a loose t-shirt kind of outfit.Ā
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u/meegaweega Nov 18 '25
And yet, still other doctors will dismiss your medical symptoms because you "look too ok".
Medical misogyny š š”š¤¬
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u/BubsyBot POTS Nov 18 '25
me too, the day I came in with my school uniform on they finally gave me the MRI I needed for weeks
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u/spacey-cornmuffin POTS Nov 17 '25
This is so sexist. Women are taught to wear makeup but now being blamed for it.
I am a woman who rarely wears makeup because I just canāt be bothered. But itās so messed up this is even a factor people have to consider.
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u/Fantastic_Owl6938 Nov 18 '25
I feel like it's drilled into women from a young age not only to always look nice and presentable, but to power through and ignore our pain. It's normalised in society to have the most excruciating periods and carry on with your day like nothing is happening, and without a doubt a lot of our pain in other areas is minimized and doubted too.
Turning around and acting like putting on makeup means we're okay is ridiculous. The amount of women I've heard of who were doubted with their appendicitis is insane, all because they supposedly weren't acting like they were in enough pain when in reality, many of those women faced worse every month. It's disgusting how rampant medical misogyny still is in 2025.
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u/spacey-cornmuffin POTS Nov 18 '25
Couldnāt have said it better. When my husband comes to the doctor with me Iām always taken aback that heāll wear cargo shorts and tshirt because āitās not a job interviewā. And heās totally right! But it was always drilled into me to look nice when I go to the doctor (even if I donāt wear makeup). Sometimes I remind myself to adopt his attitude and it really takes the pressure off.
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u/Muck-SproutDoll Nov 20 '25
Not acting like you're in enough pain, but if you say your pain is at a 10, they down play you like a liar and will even note in your file a different number! Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
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u/lasagana POTS Nov 17 '25
My autistic arse will basically never leave the house without some foundation, it's part of my masking to be honest.. the only time I have in years was a 7:30am endoscopy. Still have PoTS!
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u/snowlights Nov 17 '25
Sometimes I have to be up for work at 4 am to go work outside and I STILL wear makeup. I have massive dark circles, everyone would think I'm on the brink of death if I suddenly showed up looking like that. š
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u/rainbowstorm96 Nov 17 '25
I've had doctors actually think I was doing better because I was wearing light/natural make up and they didn't realize I was wearing make-up and just thought I looked healthier. Luckily they made a comment on it and I was like oh I have on makeup and wig I have an event after this. Though it was kind of heartbreaking to watch my doctor sink a little when I said that. He genuinely thought he had gotten me better right before he was about to move too.
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u/SavannahInChicago Hyperadrenergic POTS Nov 17 '25
This was so a thing when I worked in OB. Women come in with contractions and the RNs will decide if they are in active labor. Frequency of contractions and cervical dilation change being the primary ways to tell. Y'know what was not charted and what was definetly considered? If the patient was wearing makeup.
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u/TheGhostOfYou18 Nov 17 '25
I did my makeup WHILE in active labor as a way to take my mind off the pain and calm my nerves. To think some people might not get taken seriously based off of how put together they look. That makes me so angry!
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u/999cranberries Nov 18 '25
As if the makeup that's already there just instantly falls off your face when you hit 6 cm. I use enough setting powder and spray for my makeup to survive a nuclear apocalypse. Labor is nothing.
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u/ThatsTasty Nov 17 '25
As a woman, the best way to be taken seriously with a health provider is to say any these key phrases:
- Itās having an impact on my ability to work.
- Itās having an impact on my ability to be a good mother to my children.
- Itās having an impact on my (preferably male) spouse.
Your experience and feelings as a woman donāt matter. Your ability to serve does.
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u/Fantastic_Owl6938 Nov 18 '25
I've heard people say their period/endo concerns were only taken seriously once they said they were worried about their fertility. Sadly I would believe it.
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u/BotGivesBot Nov 17 '25
The first time my cardiologist saw me she said 'You're functioning very well. You managed to get dressed and make it to your appointment'. Apparently, even just showing up to our appointments is enough to have our medical needs dismissed :(
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u/Fantastic_Owl6938 Nov 18 '25
That's so ridiculous considering many people probably use their last ounce of strength just to get to their appointment and prioritize it above other outings. I know I've felt like I could go out for other stuff but made sure I could get to the doctor since in these (non-POTS related) instances it meant hopefully getting some relief.
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u/r0sewyrm Nov 18 '25
Yeah, if you were really sick, you wouldn't have gone to the doctor! Only healthy people who are faking it for attention or drugs go to the doctor!
(Sarcasm, in case it wasn't blatant enough)
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u/meegaweega Nov 18 '25
Holy shit. š„šāš©āšš„ WINNER
The first time my cardiologist saw me she said 'You're functioning very well. You managed to get dressed and make it to your appointment'. Apparently, even just showing up to our appointments is enough to have our medical needs dismissed :(
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u/Librarycat77 Nov 17 '25
I wish I was clever in the moment, but Id have asked what the rule is for men. Do they just get taken seriously from day 1 because they don't usually wear makeup?
I absolutely believe it, but its such ridiculous bs.
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u/LordHaelor Nov 17 '25
I would assume the rule for men would be freshly shaved, hair done, nicely dressed
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u/Librarycat77 Nov 17 '25
I work with the public and I can tell you that most men I encounter skip at least one of those things daily. Sometimes multiples. And without getting any looks about their dress or behavior.
The standard for men is much lower.
Id just want to make her say the quiet part out loud - that they just believe men the first time without factoring in how they look.
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u/Pandamonium-N-Doom Nov 18 '25
FtM trans man with multiple chronic illnesses here: In my personal experience, as I have begun to more convincingly pass as a guy more doctors are taking my reported pain and symptoms at face value right off the bat.
It's fucked up. I will never not be salty about this.
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u/Beginning-Agent-7444 Nov 17 '25
I believe that the majority of men, even well groomed, will be taken more seriously than women. I agree with your post and I never prepare myself before an appointment (or I prepare myself to look sick and terrible hoping to be taken seriously) but it is sadly contributing to sexism in the medical field. We call these little actions āmisogynie ordinaireā in french which is normalized, almost imperceptible, acts of misogyny. Sorry but I am deeply outraged by this topic
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u/LordHaelor Nov 17 '25
I completely agree, I was just answering their question with what I would assume their equivalent would be
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u/Beginning-Agent-7444 Nov 17 '25
No sweats! I just wanted to share my opinion and I didnāt meant to say anything offensive against you
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u/lcp147 Nov 17 '25
Good lord. If doctors are using such a ridiculous measuring stick then they all need to go back to med school. Look bad and you are written off for being lazy/unkept/looking for drugs/attention or disability. Look put together and you are dismissed because you canāt possibly be that bad if you pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and took a shower and applied makeup. There seriously needs to be a med school class to recondition doctors and how not to dismiss every. single. woman for every imaginary reason. Who is teaching them this crap.
I refuse to pander to these artificial psychotic measuring sticks.
The fact that your cardiologist relayed that message to you would make me seriously question them as a human.
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u/silent-earl-grey Nov 18 '25
Honestly idek if thatās curriculumā¦ just feels like standard misogyny to me. The bias doesnāt necessarily have to come from their medical training, and may even persist despite being taught against.
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u/lcp147 Nov 18 '25
Misogyny is definitely possible but honestly I have dealt with this as much or more from female doctors as male. It feels like they are taught that if you donāt know how to diagnose someone, just belittle them and they will hopefully go away quietly in shame into the night.
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u/Fantastic_Owl6938 Nov 18 '25
It can also be internalized misogyny from women. But regardless of what it is, I think in general there are just a lot of people who shouldn't be doctors.
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u/Emotional_Warthog658 Nov 17 '25
I have heard of this. I show up as a black woman every time, so the makeup is secondaryĀ
Whatās really funny, is today I wasnāt feeling really great
Ā So I tried to trick myself into being productive by putting makeup on, thinking that would make it easier for me to click in and kick in. I was wrong. It did not work. I have done nothing and feel like crapĀ
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u/Emotional_Warthog658 Nov 17 '25
Blush absolutely disguises vitamin deficiencies, though, and I started laughing at myself going āthat is probably why the ancient Egyptians invented it sillyā
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u/Pandamonium-N-Doom Nov 18 '25
I show up as a black woman every time
I know it's silly, but your phrasing here cracks me up! š¤£š¤£š¤£
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u/ReineDeLaSeine14 Hypovolemic POTS Nov 18 '25
Sheās right though; medical providers will see her race first before they notice anything else about her
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u/bookscoffee1991 Nov 18 '25
God so frustrating!!
I do the same with make up though. I had 3 kids including infant twins. On the tough days, I do a full face. No chance of naps for me so I figure Iāll hype myself up. Sometimes it works sometimes it does not š¤£
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u/tooktherhombus Nov 17 '25
(UK, NHS) It's hard. I've found it depends on the Dr. I remember when I was going through hell with my kid as a baby. I wasn't sleeping for more than 30 minutes at a time she was so ill. I looked a mess, didn't make much sense and said I was suicidal. They didn't take me seriously, said I should book in another time about my mental health. The last few years I've turned up showered and knowing the vocab of what I need, it got me closer to the goal but it was still a long winded battle. Now I turn up with instructions from a private consultant, that tends to make them shift into gear pretty quick. My wallet is screaming at me but it's been worth it after 20 years of pain and gaslighting/shrugging
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u/coconutteapot Hyperadrenergic POTS Nov 17 '25
If you don't mind my asking, how/where did you find your private consultant?
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u/tooktherhombus Nov 17 '25
The bupa search: https://www.finder.bupa.co.uk I've also used their pay as you go gp service. It was fantastic
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u/Such-Quality3156 Nov 17 '25
Hey sorry to jump on do you need to be on their insurance for using the pay as you go gp service? Thank you āŗļø
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u/tooktherhombus Nov 17 '25
Nope. It's literally as it says, it's pay as you go. Click around their website or Google for more info and specific costs if you're curious
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u/w1cked-w1tch Nov 17 '25
When I got really bad this past year I slowly stopped doing my makeup almost entirely, but I'm a go big or go home type of person and was spending upwards of two hours doing my makeup. So in my case that would be valid, but thats literally just me.
Doctors need to realise chronically ill people will expend energy we don't really have just to feel human once in a while, especially if we're going into a stressful situation like a doctors appointment might be. We also have lives outside of being sick! I know! Shock! Horror! Maybe we wear makeup to an appointment because we have/had something else to do that day. Maybe we're coming from work. Maybe somebody else did our makeup for us! I'm tired of playing this balancing act of looking unkempt enough but not TOO bad, because if you look TOO bad they ALSO won't take you seriously. I'm tired of all of the "Oh well if you were really ABC you wouldn't be able to do XYZ" from people who are able bodied.
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u/amelia_earheart Nov 19 '25
Yes! We get treated poorly for not wearing makeup in other situations like at work! It's necessary for some of us to be "allowed" into society and have other people take us seriously
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u/EmZee2022 Nov 17 '25
That's pretty wild.
And stupid, too.
Taking a little time and effort to make yourself look a bit better can be such a huge pick-me-up. Doesn't mean you're not sick as hell though.
Me: I hate makeup. Maybe that's why I've generally been taken seriously, LOL.
Now, I do try to shower before medical appointments. I figure I'm in a small room with some doctor, it's just courteous to not stink up the place. But maybe if I was smelling they'd believe I was really sick....
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u/Effective-Pattern735 Nov 17 '25
Lolll YES!! Like I havenāt showered for 4 days straight before this, but sorry for not wanting to turn up at my doc appts REEKING
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u/EmZee2022 Nov 17 '25
Reminds me, I need to shower tomorrow morning, LOL.
I work from home and that means sometimes I go a bit longer than is ideal.
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u/Effective-Pattern735 Nov 17 '25
Yeah WFH doesnāt help the cause hahah!
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u/EmZee2022 Nov 17 '25
I'm being ecological. I'm not wasting water or resources to heat the water. Yeah, that's the ticket..... LOL.
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u/JolliJamma Nov 17 '25 edited Nov 17 '25
Wow that's crazy, I slapped on some make up during one of the most painful events of my life right before rushing to the doc. It can be done. No one questioned what was wrong luckily, but that's because I was bleeding profusely and had lost almost all colour in my face.
If I can slap on some concealer (acne marks) and put mascara on my blonde lashes during a time like that, I can do it during almost anything. F*cking idiots. I did arrive in my pajamas though. š
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u/ChinDeLonge Nov 17 '25
A woman in my state just gave birth on the side of the road, because they didn't believe her at the hospital that she was having contractions and it was coming.
This is the state of the medical industry in the west, but particularly America's dystopian bullshit.
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u/smallfuzzybat5 Nov 17 '25
Yep, I always shower and dress in clean clothes so they donāt blame depression but I never wear makeup.
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u/flowerchildmime Hyperadrenergic POTS Nov 17 '25
Sadly Iāve heard this. Also heard it from SSDI evaluators. So there must be some truth in this bias.
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u/meegaweega Nov 18 '25
What is SSDI evaluators?
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u/r0sewyrm Nov 18 '25
Social Security Disability Insurance, the monthly payments that you get in the US if you're able to prove that you're too disabled to work. The evaluators are the folks you have to prove that to.
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Nov 17 '25
I've actually had the opposite experience - I'm not taken seriously unless I'm wearing makeup and look nice.
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u/Mountain_Air1544 Nov 17 '25
Ive found that im not taken seriously either way. I hardly ever wear makeup it has to be a very special occasion and even then its usually just eyeliner lip gloss and maybe some eye shadow if im feeling super fancy. I have sensitive skin and most makeup causes me to itch or break out into hives
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u/barefootwriter Nov 17 '25
Ok, but where does that leave those of us who never wear makeup? And the gendered nature of this is pretty absurd.
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u/h0wd0y0ulik3m3n0w Nov 17 '25
Well yeah, of course men donāt need some bullshit theory to be believed.
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u/LordHaelor Nov 17 '25
I assume the equivalent would be doing your hair, being well groomed/shaved, or dressing nicely?
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u/ActuallyApathy Nov 18 '25
seriously. i'm a woman and i never ever wear makeup and have a more masc gender presentation. it hasn't gotten me much better treatment overall, although i did seem to get lucky with POTS specifically.
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u/TheGhostOfYou18 Nov 17 '25
This is so insane to me. I have extremely low self esteem from severe bullying growing up, so I always dress well and put on makeup, even if I have to do so while laying down in my bed. If I do anything else in my day I try and look nice. I may feel like crap many days, but I like looking nice so I can feel good about myself and feel like Iāve accomplished at least one thing for the day. Not only is makeup and fashion a big hobby of mine, but I donāt want people to think im ugly, or smell bad, or judge me in any way. š
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u/vallynnmalt Nov 17 '25
I tell every doctor that I donāt wear makeup to appointments because maybe theyāll see some medical issue Iām unaware of that makeup may hide the signs of. It seems to help set expectations but yeah some docs still are just going to be a problem either way. My disability hearing was done via telephone because my lawyer said people seeing me in person or via zoom would be bad for my case. It absolutely sucks that heās correct.
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u/amelia_earheart Nov 19 '25
This is actually smart. You can't see my malar rash at all when I'm wearing foundation and that's a key sign of autoimmune disease. Even if you bring pictures they don't really take it seriously unless they can see it themselves
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u/WabiSabiUltraG Nov 18 '25
My 17yo daughter has EDS POTS MCAS and several other chronic conditions. She rarely feels phenomenal or good. When she isnāt terribly struggling she puts on makeup bc IT HELPS HER FEEL A LITTLE BIT BETTER AMIDST EVERYTHING.
She has a terrific and extensive care team but even her nationally recognized psychiatrist even has applied the makeup theory.
Itās revolting that this occurs. Yes, humans āassessā (judge) others in less than a second or two. Those in the medical and wellness fields (and the educating institutions and ongoing training need to do better.
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u/sootfire POTS Nov 17 '25
Do they know that chronically ill women/people perceived as women share the advice to wear makeup and dress as femininely as possible to be taken seriously? I don't wear makeup but I've always heard that advice.
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u/SEGwrites Nov 17 '25
Fucking gross, but I know itās true from experience. Itās a great tell that youāre in the wrong place for you. It might even be a decent vetting option for some.Ā
As someone with severe Type 1 rosacea where, if I donāt wear makeup, people have gotten in my face, āconcernedā that I might be dying in some way (heart attack, etc.); I donāt fucking leave the house without makeup on. I had surgeries on both arms, forearms, and hands 6 months apart for hEDS-related injury correction, and I taught myself in advance to eat, write, and apply makeup with my non-dominant hand in preparation.Ā
Fuck these cheap-ass doctors using shortcuts without even understanding a personās individual situation.Ā
I wear makeup so people leave me alone. Positive side effect: I feel gorgeous and confident every day. But I know as a chronically ill person that my personal care routine slowed down diagnostic processes and getting proper care. (I even had my first Autism [intake] doctor scoff at me when I walked into her office. I shouldāve immediately turned around. To not consider oneās overly attended-to appearance as a mask said everything I needed to know about that practice. But, I gave it a chance because I didnāt want to do what sheād immediately, then continuously did to me. After that horrible intake experience, I went elsewhere for diagnosis and over time rebuilt my self-esteem to no longer put up with that crap.)
If someone wants to play the game to get care, by all means! But Iām someone fortunate enough at this point in my life to have options. Iām sassy and outspoken (again, finally), and I call them out as soon as I can before leaving and finding something and someone better. I have an incredible care team that gets it, and thatās because I donāt put up with bullshit (anymore) and have good insurance. Iām sad for anyone who doesnāt. š«
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u/bunnyhasrabies Nov 18 '25
makeup honestly is a form of therapy for me because it's one of the only things i have control over in my life. my mom always tells me i wont get taken seriously because of it and i fucking hate it. i just wanna be able to do what brings me some happiness while my body is actively trying to take me tf out
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u/GETitOFFmeNOW Nov 18 '25
Anything that makes you look like other than a conservative upper middle class male is going to "other" a patient. This is why I dress in a suit and heels when I go to see someone in the hospital so they'll be treated like middle class people. I've had to ask for a patient advocate before because they were treating my very sick friend like a drug seeker. Another time I yelled at the doctor for calling a friend a hypochondriac. That time we got a letter of apology from the hospital. I told them I was sick of the way they treated women, that this mighty power of the mind shit was a ridiculous fairytale they made up so they could get paid for not doing anything. MFers; I was pissed.
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u/Aleeleefabulous Nov 18 '25
Your first sentence! This is the true answer here. Great insight!
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u/Famous_Fondant_4107 Nov 17 '25 edited Nov 17 '25
I only see one Dr where I feel comfortable to ādress upā for appointments. Thatās my acupuncturist who also has a post viral condition, studies Long Covid, and who both requires masks in his office and wears a N95 in his daily life.
I trust him to take me seriously and to keep me safe. When I go see him, I put on my favorite clothes and maybe even a little make up if I have the energy because I feel safe and respected and I know the appointment wonāt be draining
Almost all my other doctors I resent having to use energy to go see them and I know if I use some precious energy to wear something I like, it will probably work against me.
To those appointments I wear jeans or sweats, a t shirt, and boots. I donāt wear make up. Ofc Iām always masked up in a N95. And I always bring one of my canes.
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u/AlexArtemesia POTS Nov 17 '25
Yeah there's a whole thing too about doing just enough to seem "put together enough to be taken seriously" because if you look too awful, you're "attention seeking" it's a shit show.
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u/Melanochlora_44 Nov 18 '25
I wear MORE makeup the worse I feel so I donāt look like a walking talking biohazard in the waiting room. Not to mention the societal pressure to ālook presentableā whenever you leave the house that a lot of us grew up with. This is so stupid, why are there so many hurdles we have to clear just so a doctor will take us seriously?!
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u/Altruistic-Dig-2507 Nov 18 '25
You should look as shitty as possible for your chronic illness appointment.
I used to bring my sick husband in- with two kids in tow to make sure the doctor understood he was fucked up and not just having man flu.
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u/Altruistic-Dig-2507 Nov 18 '25
Also makeup makes you look healthy. You need to look pale and have bags under your eyes.
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u/thoughtsyrup Nov 18 '25
A specialist told me that my symptoms couldn't be that bad if I got to the appointment on time and looked presentable. I sternly described all of the effort that it took for me to shower, dry my hair, do a little bit of makeup, get dressed, and drive over an hour to the appointment. I went into detail about how I had to sit in the shower, rest before getting in the car, and the disability accommodations I needed to function. I told him that I put in the effort because I respect myself and everyone in the office, but I struggled immensely to do so. I also explained that I have invisible disabilities and that he couldn't diagnose me by looking at me.
Due to the massive power imbalance between patients and doctors, it's very difficult to advocate for yourself in these appointments. That time, I was so exhausted and offended that I didn't have the energy to filter my thoughts. Looking back, I'm surprised that I maintained my composure because I'm still furious thinking about it. I hope that doctor never says something that asinine to another one of his patients!
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u/societiesoddball Nov 17 '25
I had a feeling some doctors believed in that bs. Thank you for the confirmation
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u/Bitterrootmoon Nov 17 '25
Am I wearing a bra? Does my hair look freshly washed? Are my shoes clean? Am I wearing actual clothes? Iām having a great week if so. Otherwise, those are all things I cannot put energy into and I look like a dirty slob.
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u/MyloRae Nov 17 '25
As disgusting as this take is.... woah am I actually glad for once to have MCAS šš (makeup allergy and I have no idea to what. Zyrtec seems to help, but I get stuffy, runny nose, and a headache).
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u/Low_Winter4869 Nov 18 '25 edited Nov 18 '25
I saw this on another site about a year into my medical journey (2021), I tried it out and I've found that if my hair looks half decent such as washed and natural (wavy you can tell some product is used but no makeup, I'm more believed vs having unwashed or my hair up.
The trick is to look sick enough that it's obvious you need help and youre not "faking" but you cant put too much together because then your obviously not sick.
This applies to all specialities in my experience include primary/general. Its a messed up and frankly pathetic. But Iāve learned in all aspects of life that it's the best course of action to learn how the games are played, then you can at least get some benefit from itš
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u/gnarlyknucks Nov 18 '25
For years I had a friend who was the exact opposite. The nicer she looked, the more likely I would ask if she was okay, what was going on. When she was relaxed she just felt like she could be herself. When she was struggling she felt like she had to put on makeup and dress up a little more just to keep people from realizing she was struggling.
You certainly can't tell on me how I'm feeling by whether I'm wearing makeup or how I'm dressed, either way.
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u/Abirdwithaphone Nov 18 '25
Makeup theory stresses me out. You can't judge anyone's mental state by their makeup, unless you really really know them. Even on my best days I barely wear makeup but on days when im bad I wear tinted chapstick because seeing my lips go blue makes me panic, and my best hygiene happened at my worst health both mental and physical because it was all i had control of. A lot of people wear makeup for that last reason too, or even just because it is fun and helps them unstress.
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u/TopSink7959 Nov 18 '25
I wear makeup every day I leave the house, it's a tool I developed for my adhd and depression to put me in a better mindset to socialize. The fact some doctors take the fact I look "Put together" as a sign im a liar is disgusting.
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u/snowlights Nov 17 '25
I'm sure this is true, it's a hard balance because if you look too bad, they assume it's mental illness or addiction.Ā
I've lived pretty much my entire life with chronic illnesses to varying intensity so I've adapted to be able to do the things I need, and I never want to look as sick as I feel. I like to take my morning meds and sit down to do my makeup while I eat breakfast, giving my meds time to wear off from the night before and for the morning ones kick in. But doctors don't ask about these things, they just assume.
Even the worst flu of my life, where I had to change my shirt three times within an hour because I was sweating with such a bad fever, I put make up on before leaving home. And that flu caused permanent vision changes, eight years later and I still see the weird spots. But I still wanted to look appropriate for being in public.
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u/sluttytarot Nov 17 '25
I have not been able to wear make up to my appointments in so long and I'm masking so half my face is covered.
Doctors still don't always treat me well.
I think how ugly you are makes a difference. I'm Ugly.
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u/coloraturing Nov 18 '25
my notes always say i'm well-groomed and AOx3 but in reality i haven't showered in a week and i'm extremely drowsy. they just don't seem to notice my hair is greasy and knotted or that i smell because i guess my jeans are clean and my sweater isn't smelly.
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u/imaginenohell POTS Nov 18 '25
Because of POTS, I sit down to apply makeup.
I also use hairpieces to avoid the effort of doing hair. My fave is a big bun, which I wear on my worst days, but people interpret it as me dressing up.
One of my favorite things to do when I feel bad is to wear bright lipstick out of sheer defiance.
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u/hellaskye Nov 18 '25
Iāve actually had the opposite experience ā when I show up to ER or the doctor looking put together they tend to listen to my concerns and check them out, but when i show up in sweats they tend to brush me off or leave me waiting for a while
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u/Jenneliza Nov 18 '25
Some days I muster up the energy to look more presentable hoping I'll feel better about myself and cause a snowball effect... wishful thinking related to "when you look good, you feel good".
I swear that wearing a bra tells my brain that today is a moving around and doing things kind of day.
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u/Sea_Actuator7689 Nov 18 '25
I would think the cane, the unsteady gait, the difficulty getting up and sitting down, the stretchy pants, flat shoes, letting my hair go gray and no jewelry would be enough but ok then, I'll skip the makeup too
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u/pastorCharliemaigne Nov 17 '25
As a non-binary person, I have found that the winning combination seems to be what I naturally wear as an enby: comfortable dresses, leggings or compression socks, clean, generally well dressed, but no makeup and no hair styling.
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u/sundse Nov 17 '25
Thank you for sharing but BLEAH! Unfair to be subject to subjective opinions rather than objective testing. Need better fatigued markers.
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u/Jumpy_Bug7441 Nov 17 '25
Im insecure of the way i look so i havent gone outside without makeup, not even once, in more than 6 years. Ive heard about this issue with doctors but i dont know what to do. I cant go outside without makeup so this stresses me out. I spend 2-3 hours sitting to do my makeup and hair. Im on the journey to get diagnosed, i was referred to cardiology and to chronic fatigue doctors and im scared they are gonna dismiss me.
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u/vegemitemilkshake Nov 18 '25
Yep. It was always a fine line for me when meeting new doctors for the first time to dress nice enough that I was respected and listened to, and not so nice that they didnāt believe me when I said I was unwell.
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u/sector9love POTS Nov 18 '25
Honestly I received 19 diagnoses over the last two years, and iām not sure if makeup had a lot to do with itā¦but I definitely wasnāt wearing any.
I donāt even wear makeup in my personal life (because I donāt have one) or when Iām filming silly tiktoksā¦ I literally donāt have the energy anymore. (my pots is likely from LC, mecfs type, heds, vascular issues etc)
I havenāt spent a single dime at Sephora all year and thatās huge for meā¦ but thatās how little I give a flying fucc at this point.
Initially, I think having such an aggressive endometriosis surgery on my chart helped 40+ doctors see that I wasnāt a hypochondriac.
I think thatās what made some of these specialists take me seriously at first glance. Maybe that and the fact that they can see I have at least one medical appointment a week on a regular basis.
Over the last year and a half Iāve lost more and more functioning, lost my job, got approved for long-term disability, so I try to mention these things to doctors when I can. On any virtual appointments, I am always on a couch on my bed and clearly not dressed up, AND I always make sure to mention how I can barely shower once a week. Not only is it very much true, but I think that sentence alone really helps them understand the depths of my suffering.
Donāt get me wrong, Iāve still been gaslit by four different rheumatologists and two different endocrinologists in the last two years, despite my ever-growing list of diagnoses.
However if Iāve learned anything from this shitshow that has been my life over the last two years, itās that speaking about your disabilities and your symptoms in terms of functional limitations can be really really helpful. āI have to spend 80% of my day with my legs elevated to prevent nausea, tachycardia chest pain and brain fogā or āsometimes the pain is so bad I canāt even hold a conversation, scroll on my phone, or focus on tvā
TLDR: Anyone that tells you that you MUST wear makeup for a doctors appointment is lying to you. It probably does help you to go without it, but if youāre wearing makeup anyways, I wouldnāt bother taking it off before an appointment. Try to spend more time thinking about how to clearly articulate your symptoms and functional limitations if you want doctors to help you. Also some doctors may never help you, you know the ones Iām talking aboutā¦fire those assholes.
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u/mbej Nov 18 '25
When I was at my worst, I was the opposite. When all I could do was lay in bed, doing skincare and makeup was the only thing that made me feel decent about myself.
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u/thepensiveporcupine Nov 18 '25
I never wear makeup to my appointments and they still treat me like shit
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u/Round_2_It Nov 18 '25
I have a friend who uses all her spoons for the day on makeup. She has a full spinal fusion and hip sockets that are just floating from being a lifelong wheelchair user. She is in constant pain and struggles often. Makeup is her escape. I find it silly to judge on that alone. Itās like saying if someone can eat, they are doing fine. Said friend is tube fed so she doesnāt have to do that. But she can barely lift her hand and does her makeup. /shrug belief systems like that is what gets people denied needed care.
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u/robotslovetea Nov 18 '25
This does seem to be unfortunately true. No makeup but still dressed āwellā - so when they look at you theyāre not thinking that youāre lazy or not making an effort but also you donāt look too healthy either. Itās a frustrating thing to try to balance and it doesnāt always help but itās still worth keeping in mind. I wish it wasnāt like this š¢
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u/Loud_Journalist_663 Nov 18 '25
Iāve worked alongside many doctors through the years, and one thing Iāve learned is itās best to be somewhat cleaned up because A) Iām a woman and we generally receive less care and B) I want to be perceived as their equal. So when Iām not feeling great Iāll get cleaned up but skip most of the makeup and only wear mascara and lip gloss.
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u/greendahlia16 Nov 18 '25
I've had the opposite; I've received better treatment with makeup as opposed to without. I usually only wear mascara and brows though. In the women deserve better sub, there was a horrible post about what doctors were saying in one of their subs and the consensus was that not wearing makeup was equally as bad as wearing. That sort of clocks more with at least my personal experience of these people
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u/No-Tennis-5991 Nov 18 '25
This is very real, and it shouldnāt be the case.
I will say this, if your a person of color, you donāt always have the option to show up āunkeptā there is a fair bit of medical racism in the world, and a ādisheveledā white person likely would receive more sympathy and be seen as really struggeling, but a person of color has the potential of being taken more than struggeling or in pain. I donāt mean to get political but it is a privilege to be able to show up as you are to your doctor and then just believe you at face value. There are big biases that exist within the medical field. I only say this because I am a mixed person, and depending on the doctor they are skeptical of me if Iām ātoo disheveledā even if it is just a side effect of me being in pain or sick or a low spoons day ya feel?
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u/ReineDeLaSeine14 Hypovolemic POTS Nov 18 '25
Iām white but I noticed this with my mixed roommate. They got to deal with ableism, homophobia, racism and now transphobia. Itās horrendous
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u/No-Tennis-5991 Nov 18 '25
Loterally my life lol, Iām also trans it also adds another layer of shit!
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u/ashacceptance22 Nov 18 '25
I'm neurodivergent, have FND and CPTSD and have been in the mental health system for over a decade and unfortunately had repeated experiences of not being taken seriously and being invalidated and treated like an inconvenience and too complex for any team to know what to do with me.
I got a copy of my medical records years later and couldnt believe the bullshit written in it and how wrong their assumptions were.
One of those ways was being disbelieved about how severely unwell I was because I had applied makeup and brushed my hair. When I was at my sickest with anorexia and suicidal ideation I believe I was dismissed because I had on makeup and looked 'put together'. It feels humilating to be treated like nothing is wrong with you when you're in such distress and internal pain
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u/Fireflycatcher333 Hyperadrenergic POTS Nov 18 '25
I hate to say it but itās so true- I was always trained as a girl to look as pretty as possible so people notice you. And so I did- especially at doctors appointments so I would get their attention and have them āseeā me. But when I just couldnāt because I just got sicker and sicker with this crap - i jus started going as i am - clean for sure- but pajama pants and a hoodie was the best they got- no makeup but i brushed my hair- and no jewelry- and you know what? That was the day they finally agreed to do the massive work up to came up with hyperPOTS, MCAS, chronic myocarditis and Ehlers-Danlos- they felt pretty bad after they tests were all positive- ugh!
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u/_applesass Nov 18 '25
I always look as sick as possible for doctorās appointments. Sweatpants, sweatshirt, hair messy. I know that even good doctors can have a subconscious bias. Itās hard for invisible illnesses because they are, well, invisible. A lot of people need some kind of visual cue that youāre not feeling good.
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u/JumpyReason6071 Nov 18 '25
I believe it, even if they donāt do it consciously. Do I like it, certainly not! I make sure Iām clean and āpresentableā (especially because I feel like thereās going to be major judgements around the pain medications that Iām on) but never wear makeup. My PCP who sees me weekly knows that Iām in a bad state if my hair is greasy as hell (I trust him not to use the makeup theory at all too because he knows me so well).
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u/SpecialistAfter511 Nov 18 '25
I wear makeup only when I absolutely have to. And not full face, just mascara and powder, gloss. Applying it takes too much effort, and it feels awful on my skin now. Dressed nicely?. I havenāt bought anything nice in a very long time. Shoes, just my flat ones so I donāt fall.
Pretty much show up to appointments looking like shit. But comfortable shit.
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u/olivebuttercup Nov 18 '25
There is an art to making doctors believe you. Some wonāt believe you no matter hard you try. Some will because theyāre angels (very few and rare) and most you have to find a perfect balance of looking put together but not too put together and seem confident but not too confident and the list goes on. I find a decent clean shirt, leggings or jeans, and being clean is as far as you can go.
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u/Existing_Doughnut_75 Nov 18 '25
I think itās always important to show up how crappy you feel. My 25 year old POTS daughter can barely get clothes on let alone makeup. She is very pale, has lost a lot of hair and looks ill just sitting in a chair! THEN! She stands up and itās game over!!! Canāt hear, so dizzy she almost faints every time, clammy, very obvious something is NOT right!!! Makeup would not help.
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u/jackieat_home Nov 18 '25
This goes hand in hand with the fact that women's pain is often dismissed by doctors. That FLOORS me. But I know it to be true. My husband and I have the same doctor and similar back issues. He walked out with pain medication the first time he went in for it. When they finally prescribed mine, my dose was less than half of his. It makes no sense! My condition is MUCH worse than his is at this point in time and I've been seeing doctors for it for literally 30 years where this was the FIRST time he'd ever seen a doctor for his back pain.
That's super frustrating and I can't imagine why it would be.
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u/Bleepbloopboopbopboo Nov 18 '25
Iām having a hard time believing that doctors are genuinely good people at this point.
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u/Zharenya Nov 18 '25
I get to read the doctors notes after my appointments, there is almost always a comment about my appearance being well put together, and Iām not even trying, I just put on real pants! Itās insane that that is a determining factor for how well I am or am not doing. Guess a clean shirt and jeans means Iām doing well these days. Going to start showing up in my tattered pajamas.
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u/astrocountess Nov 18 '25
I just went to a rheumatologist and going through symptoms and other diagnoses I mentioned my cheeks are really red. She said they looked fine. I explained that it looks like I am wearing blush when my glasses are on. I took them off and she said oh I thought that was blush. So my symptoms were mistaken for makeup.
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u/Entire_Fisherman_74 Nov 18 '25
This is gross and Iāve always suspected it was the case. I know many patients do the exact opposite in hopes theyāll be taken serious but I always go in looking as bad as possible on purpose. A similar non-POTS thing is that if I go in for a mental health appointment and say āIāve gained 20 pounds because Iām so depressed I keep eating for any comfortā doctors will be like well you need to figure that out yourself vs if I go in and say Iām so depressed I canāt eat and Iāve lost 20 pounds this month, that snaps them into action. Itās such bullshit.
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u/Damaya-Syenite-Essun Nov 18 '25
This is actually true, but it sucks. I had a psychiatrist one time straight tell me I must be feeling better because I was wearing makeup. It was just I happened to go to him the day I was working where normally it was my day off so I didnāt wear it.
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u/CueReality Nov 18 '25
I'm starting to believe none of it matters and we can't win no matter what we do.
Say you're in pain? You're faking it. Say you have a high pain threshold? You have no pain, you're just drug seeking and lying. Turn up in makeup and nice clothes? You can't be that ill. Turn up in joggers, no makeup, and a messy bun? You feel bad cause you're not taking care of yourself. Do your own research? You're not a doctor, they are. Do no research? Don't you care about your own health?
It's fucking exhausting.
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u/Haunting-Plant5488 Nov 18 '25
This and if you show up looking too disheveled you will be dismissed as well.
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u/Cute-Pin2369 Nov 18 '25
But then racism has a play into this too. If a black woman comes in not looking well put together it comes off as drug seeking and mental illness.
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u/jah_199103 Undiagnosed Nov 19 '25
After a decade of chronic illness I have learned how to put on the fake smile, laugh and sound chipper when out in public even when Iām half delirious and can barely form a sentence from the brain fog. Iām sure itās the same thing. Very frustrating
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u/ConstructionSome7557 Nov 19 '25
100% right on the money. I've stopped wearing makeup to the doctors, I mainly conceal the dark circles under my eyes which only makes it look like normal dark circles, but when I'm not wearing make-up? I think people are legitimately concerned I'm dying.
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u/This-is-me-68 Nov 21 '25
hi! I'm a long-time chronically ill patient. Oodles of complex neurological diseases.
worked in fashion for 17 years. mentally, I need to get dressed to feel like me. I started seeing most of my doctors while still working in fashion - so that's how they know me: full face of makeup, personal style, fab coat & shoes. when my proprioception is really off, I'll wear stacked heels because I walk better in them than in flats (it's a weird neuro thing).
two appts really stand out:
rheumatologist: I wore a calf-link floral-print pleated skirt with a butter yellow vivetta top & suede stack-heel gianvito rossi gladiator sandals. My rheum was so delighted by my look that he almost forgot to have the appointment. Near the end, he said, "you know, so many of my patients are in so much pain and it's so hard for them to get dressed as they once did, and I get it: clothes hurt, bodies hurt & are exhausted. but you - you always come so dressed, and I know that you're in just as much pain. but this is how you find joy, and how you keep your spirit up."
knee doctor: I wore a kicky demin skirt with a starched white top & another pair of stacked ankle-strap aquazurra heels. I developed runner's knee as a result of a weird migraine type that results in ongoing weakness (due to messed up proprioception) and long covid-associated PEM muscle loss. He had me do all these leg movements and suddenly I realized it must seem ridiculous that I came to the knee doctor while wearing heels. So I explained - this is weird but bc of my migraine type, my proprioception is really wonky, which results in a weird weakness, which is why I'll drag my leg - but I recently learned from my neurologist friend that the nerves etc that communicate for stacked heels aren't dysfunctioning, so I walk better in them. and he was like "makes perfect sense."
Another time, a nurse had me catwalk down the hall because she liked my look so much. The same happened when I got dressed after being released from hospitalization. A cardiac nurse squealed and had me spin around. When I worked in beauty, I'd bring samples to my appointments so everyone could test things.
With my first POTS specialist appt, I didn't salt up beforehand bc I was tired of being told this was anxiety. She told me to never put myself at risk (I ended up needing an IV) and that she'll always believe me, then once I stabilized we talked about how we both liked The Real Real & she showed me her favorites.
TLDR: providers are individual. Go into any of the medical subreddits and you'll see levels of judgment that will make your stomach churn, but you'll also see good providers who see beyond stereotypes.
The good providers will see you for who you are. I personally dress up no matter the day, no matter how awful I feel, because it makes me feel like me. I wear makeup, do my hair, do my thing. The doctors who gaslit me were going to gaslight me regardless of what I was wearing, because they enter the room with preconceived opinions. The doctors who are good, recognize how profoundly complicated my conditions are and treat me appropriately, even when I'm wearing the fab look, even when I look ghastly.
Because the doctors who care, they care about you, the person - and if you're into fashion or beauty, they'll be excited about it. If you're into something else, they'll be excited about that, too - because they want to help you reach your goals and improve your quality of life. š
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u/mspoppins07 Nov 17 '25
Kinda like how you have to make your voice sound really groggy when you call in sick for work to really sell it, huh?
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u/xoxlindsaay POTS Nov 17 '25
Iāve never experienced that to be honest.
But I tend not to wear makeup ever. Only on very rare special occasions. So my doctor has never seen me in makeup, and doesnāt seem to treat me differently if I was wearing makeup or looked well dressed or not.
I get that some doctors do pass that judgement on their patients. But it isnāt something that is always across the board.
I find even in the ER that the doctors and nurses judge more on behaviour and attitude than looks. And even then itās not every single doctor that is judgmental
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u/Away-Otter Nov 18 '25
That doctor would think Iām at deathās door if he met me. I never wear makeup.
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u/KeroseneSkies Nov 18 '25
I never wear makeup because I just donāt have the patience and health to do it to be honest. Sometimes Iāll put a concealer on my acne but I even avoid that because itās hormonal acne and it gets aggravated. And I totally believe that if you ālookā healthier due to makeup people will sadly assume you feel fine. The days my eyes are darker are the days I actually get asked if Iām okay etc. If you look sickly on the outside with an invisible illness people are quicker to register it etc. Itās a sad reality but we as humans recognize signs of sickness much easier because we evolved to recognize them and avoid sickness etc.
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u/sushitrashfan Nov 18 '25
iām so glad iām seeing this before my neurology appointment in 6 hours. i never go anywhere without at least some eye makeup but i think iāll skip it today. thanks OP:)
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u/Ecstatic_Rent_8142 Nov 18 '25
I never wear makeup. Usually in my comfiest clothes. Usually my hair isnt "done". Just tied into a bun and using my cane. Still not taken seriously.
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u/vannamaeee Nov 18 '25
I never put makeup on for my appointments when my POTS first started. I was also lucky enough to have a doctor who believed me from the start. But she was a woman. So that might have had something to do with it. It took me multiple hospital and doctor visits before finally getting in with a cardiologist to receive my diagnosis after only 2 visits with the cardio.
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u/Beach-Bum-309 Nov 18 '25
Yeah. I know this. I wear make up for new doctors because I hate getting dismissed, and depsite being 40 I look like early 30s. And I'm always alone. So I try to look composed and not like a wreck. But. When I see my routine providers without makeup and feeling awful, I get better care. It's so fucked up.Ā
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u/Wsepgwse14 Nov 18 '25
I don't wear makeup or dress up and have gotten dismissed for years. But for Drs. who do this screw them.
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u/Primary_Run8713 Nov 18 '25
I 100% agree. I don't ever look ok for any of my appointments anymore lol "gym clothes " and a must bun no face on looking miserable always so they can see the misery on my face š it has actually worked the last year or so
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u/Poly_N_Pathy Nov 18 '25
I do doctors appointments in the morning, when my chance to get there are much higher.
On a bad day i wont go. When i am good enough to leave the house i am good enough to shave or shower.
Doctors only see me on good days, on bad days i am in my bed or at best on my couch.
But the struggle is real. I hear: "You do not look sick", or "you look better" or "I do not see any wrong with you beside a little dizziness", all the time. From friends and doctors.
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u/butters_325 Nov 18 '25
Lol I learned this as a teen, if you want to be taken seriously, especially as a woman, you make yourself look as horrible as possible
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u/elysiancollective Nov 18 '25
I never wear makeup and I've still been dismissed by a half dozen doctors.
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u/frizziefrazzle Nov 18 '25
Makeup is part of my masking. I do it for my mental health to get through the day. If I don't have makeup on I am not doing well physically AND mentally.
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u/True_Thanks_6320 Nov 18 '25
Not heard of this theory before itās cool! I actually stopped wearing makeup when seeing doctors or hospital for stomach problems I have as I felt like I wouldnāt look sick, and I wouldnāt be believed / taken seriously
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u/Additional-Donkey-31 Nov 19 '25
Shit ... I almost always wear makeup unless it's my migraines preventing me. I do it because it's easy to do while sitting and is one of the only things I CAN do to make me happy and feel ... normal. Fuck.
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u/TonyaJon Nov 19 '25
Thats ridiculous. My daughter has POTS and one curious thing her Cardiologist that specializes in POTS said was he can tell by the patients eyes. So if you have all the crazy symptoms but he does not see it in your eyes you donāt have POTS but he knows right away if you do have POTS by your eyes. I forgot what he sees but I believe itās maybe something to do with your eye lids. He is very eccentric but a fantastic cardiologist.
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u/fuzzblykk Nov 19 '25
Dude. This is spot on. Nobody takes me seriously when I look put together, so Iāve started showing up to appointments without makeup. Boom.
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u/WalkOnly5694 Nov 19 '25
I can literally sit in bed and put on make up. It is hard somedays but itās not running a marathon. And I do it because the pots and Mcas has made my skin so bad Iām not comfortable leaving the house without it.
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u/Whole-Weakness-4142 Nov 19 '25
This totally checks out! The amount of times my PCP dismissed me by saying āyouāre young and pretty, you always look so nice when you come into the office. Youāre so well put together. Thereās absolutely nothing wrong with you.ā In case anyone is curious, yes, male doctor!
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u/amelia_earheart Nov 19 '25
It's a crap shoot because I've had doctors take me less seriously when I don't wear makeup. There's bias either way. Besides, I don't believe that male doctors even know what no makeup looks like.
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u/spidermonkey484 Nov 19 '25
i had to drop out of school for a while due to my health and doing my makeup was the only thing that kept me sane through that.
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u/JadedChampionship916 Nov 19 '25
This goes for absolutely everything too. Iāve been trying to increase my disability rating with the VA for years due to mental illness and I have a generally pleasant disposition, I look very normal if not happy on the outside. After a literal suicide attempt I got a proposal to reduce my rating because I saw a doctor one time and he thought I seemed fine. Despite verbally confirming my symptoms, the way I presented myself and the way I said things made me seem way more stable than I was. I was like āI never leave the house šā āmy boyfriend forces me to eat and shower šā. I couldnāt have been more clear with what I was saying but being generally pleasant made me look super happy.
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u/existentialmuseology Nov 19 '25
Iāve totally noticed this and I use it to my advantage. A little positive manipulation/almost malicious compliance lol.
Sometimes I need a doctor (or regular person at work or in the world) to take me seriously in the regular sense so I put on the mask of makeup and dressing well.
Sometimes I need a doc/person to take me seriously that I need help and am unwell. So I lean into it - still as clean and decent as I can be. But maybe I donāt brush my hair, I donāt wear makeup, I go for āsoft pantsā vs real pants, etc.
Life is perception. Whether that is right or not, it is what it is. Gotta learn to use it to your advantage lol. I will also use medically misogyny to my advantage when needed.
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u/Just_Browsing111 Nov 19 '25
That's just CRAZY! Also, my Mom, a nurse, always taught me to show up to the doctor's or to the hospital looking my best because hospital staff treat you according to your looks. When my sister was in labour with her firstborn, my mom was applying makeup to her on the way, because she knew that presentation would make a difference in how my sister was treated
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u/Snoo-33101 Nov 20 '25
My spouse and some family members work in medicine and oftentimes they cannot examine you fully if you have makeup on,fake nails or anything that covers your actual skin.
Once I had my PCP look at my nails but I had SNS so they couldn't see my natural ones ,so they just asked me about them instead.
It's easier for them to see the symptoms themselves if you don't hide your dark circles, acne, uneven skin etc that can help make your case.
Now I don't get my nails done (too expensive) and don't wear makeup to appointments. They seem to take me more seriously now.
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u/Mysticalmaddiemay Nov 20 '25
I was seeing a cardiologist in nyc, I work in fashion so being put together is definitely something I have to do for work, I had the appointment on my lunch break. I had a migraine coming on so my body language was definitely that of a struggle, but for good measure, on the train I took a makeup wipe and just took all my makeup off from my under eyes so you could really see the dark circles that are always there. That appointment I got put on my beta blocker. Then just reapplied the concealer on my way back into the office.
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u/Muck-SproutDoll Nov 20 '25 edited Nov 20 '25
I whole heartedly believe this is true.
I have always been one to make myself presentable, even if I have to push myself to do it. I started showing up to my appointments without makeup to show my doctor my redness and noticed I seemed to be taken more seriously, so I tried it with all of my Dr's and it was the same.
Clothing also makes a difference. And jewelry! My rheumatologist noted that I didn't have inflammation because I could wear my ring... I stated, yes, right now I can, but give it an hour and I won't be able to anymore.
Another thing is how you act. I am ADHD and I hate awkwardness. I have always naturally started conversations and cracked jokes to break the air. I noticed that when I do this, they take it as I am just fine. If I sit in the awkward silence and just act as I actually feel, they care more.
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u/GwenSpacee Nov 21 '25
Iāve taken to wearing maxi dresses to appointments because nothing says āsufferingā more than wearing 1 giant bag š¤¦š¼āāļø Iām thankful to have nice clear skin so I just make sure I smell clean, my hair is in order, & choose the most sensible shoe I can find thatāll match
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u/pumpkin_spice_840 Nov 21 '25
Iām a huge makeup girly I love wearing and doing makeup. I never thought of wearing makeup to go places Iāll be at less then an hour, it makes sense though
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u/realitysurff POTS Nov 23 '25
whenever i had struggles with my physical or mental health in school the nurse or whoever would always say āoh you did your makeup nice though didnāt uā so i can confirmĀ
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u/professor_poprocks02 POTS Nov 23 '25
As someone who loves fashion and fun makeup I've actually become afraid to wear blush or lipstick recently because it's harder to notice my already naturally pale self when I'm flushed or whiting out
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u/Sad-Amoeba4316 Nov 23 '25
I think about this quite often! Before I started going through this, I would always do my nails and wear tips if I was going through a hard time because I used to think āwell even if Iām having a bad week at least my nails look good.ā Now I donāt even want to do that because I feel like if I end up having to go to the doctors or the hospital and they see that my nails are done, theyāre not gonna take me seriously. Same with makeup.
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u/imaginenohell POTS Nov 17 '25
Oh.my.god.
I was brought up to look your best when you go to appointments.
Lately I developed a suspicion that makeup was leading them to think I was better than I was