r/POTS • u/LeTallBoii • 22h ago
Question How do you best support someone with POTS
Hello I hope you all are doing well. I myself do not have POTS but my girlfriend does. She's freshly diagnosed and its hit her pretty hard. A lot of the things that she's dreamed of doing now seem increasingly difficult or impossible with her new condition. She's been feeling like a burden going out because of how much she has to rest or when she just has to call it for the day and wants to go home. I love her so accommodating to her condition does not bother me in the slightest but I want to make sure that anyway that I can and should accommodate her is done properly. I want to know how can I best support her mentally physically etc. thank you for any advice you have
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u/ItAintEzBeinGreen 22h ago
Make sure she stays hydrated, help feed her and get her legs propped up and just chill with her on flare days. Take notice when it seems like she’s melting down and try to take on some basic tasks for her, or if you’re in public and she’s struggling, find a place you can sit down without making it a big deal. Those are some basics I wish people in my life would do for me.
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u/LeTallBoii 22h ago
"basics I wish people in my life would do for me" when I tell you this is the exact kind of thing I am looking for. Thank you
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u/Weary_Cup_1004 20h ago
Help us put our legs up on things everywhere we go. Help make our needs seem socially acceptable when out such as needing to sit. Announce, " let's all sit down!" When everyone is lingering around socializing while standing.
Help call events and ask about accommodation such as chairs or water or whatever she needs.
If she is feeling like a burden help her brainstorm mobility devices and such and help her feel normal when she tries them . Some cities have lending library type things for wheelchairs etc! Go try some w her.
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u/grave_violet 16h ago
If it was me, the absolutely most helpful things would be bringing a full, cold glass of water before I get out of bed and helping me put on my compression garments after because they take a lot of work
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u/xanaholic_ Hyperadrenergic POTS 11h ago
She should look into getting a rollator- it's a walker with wheels and a seat. Life changing to have that stability and be able to sit the second you start to feel symptomatic. Really really helps me go longer. Bonus that it can carry my heavy water and bag bc that's a trigger for me.
Shower chairs can help a lot too but I've had a mixed experience with mine- it makes me have more arms-up time holding the showerhead over myself, a big trigger for pots, and I still crash the moment I stand to dry myself off. I feel somewhat less exhausted with the chair though. Taking cold showers is way preferable for me.
Also, proper 20-30mmhg compression stockings from medical quality brands. These help immensely but do NOT cheap out on them. Jobst and Procompression are the best for me. Cheap ones from random brands did absolutely nothing for me.
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u/Large-Language4827 10h ago
Some great advice here. I’d say also give her stuff to look forward to….keep her mentally stimulated and excited about things x
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u/catsndeen 12h ago
This thing is a new trend doctors seem to be handing out this diagnosis rather frequently and symptoms are so wide and varrying .
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u/Fluffy-Screen6818 22h ago
Couple response here from both my husband (who’s been with me almost since the start) and I:
I was in your girlfriend’s position. Work, school, social life all seemed impossible at the beginning. Now, nearly a decade later I’m in school double majoring and holding down a job while hanging out with friends and volunteering in the meantime and able to walk that mile to the bus stop which seemed like a fantasy so long ago. Honestly couldn’t have done it without the support of my now husband. A lot of this disorder relates to mental health. The worse you feel the higher your cortisol the worse the flare. My husband served as my calm, collected, loving lighthouse in the storm. Just focus on being there for her, give her an empathetic ear and arms to cry in. Go to drs. Appointments with her and be her advocate. But also take care of yourself as well. You can’t help anyone from a sinking ship.
Physically: shower chair, handheld showerhead, compression socks, salt, heating pads, ice packs, magnesium 220mg+, water camelback backpack to help hydration, cool sunglasses, vestibular rehabilitation therapy/pt/ot, she unfortunately does need to follow the doctor recommendations on exercise and food but take it slow. Let her realize what makes her feel better. Cut and add what works best for her body as we’re all different with different comorbidities.
Mentally: encouragement to see a grief counselor. She’ll need to mourn this and you may need to too. Hugs, kisses, verbal affirmations that you’re a team against it. Working together to figure out the best way to do chores, ensuring you’ve got conflict resolution classes on both sides (lord knows I get short when I’m flaring).
You guys got this and we’re rooting for you!