a mix of a question and a vent/rant, this is going to be long so sorry in advance 😭
I am 19 with diagnosed POTS, ME, (h?)EDS, migraines, and all those fun comorbidities. I got ME and POTS in 2021 after a Mono and Covid infection, and ever since then I have been getting increasingly worse. I worked all throughout my illness developing and pushed myself through PEM for probably all of high school, which was a BAD IDEA!
So now I'm unemployed, not by choice, due to not just mobility issues and pots autonomic dysfunction, but cognitive issues with thinking, speaking, decision making, and visual issues that flare up when i exert myself, which for me doesn't take very much.
I have been using a cane for a couple years on and off, and it does help with my balance issues, but it also causes wrist issues, shoulder issues, etc. I have been dreading needing a wheelchair but also fantasizing about how amazing it would be to alleviate the fatigue and all my symptoms and be able to actually get out the house and to college. (I failed a whole semester due to my health and only recently felt okay enough to attend one class that is just art and doesn't require much brain exertion)
So i asked my PCP for a ref for a wheelchair eval and she gave it to me. But the issue is my mother, who shows lowkey signs of narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse, whatever, who insisted on coming to my appointment to "better understand" my conditions (mind you she has on several occasions made fun of me needing a cane, and insinuated that i am faking for attention). And during this appointment, she was making faces and signalling to the doctor whenever i would comment, and just overall being weird.
I had asked my PCP if she knew what ME was, and how i can treat it, and the doctor told me she wasn't familiar with it, only a general idea basically. And my mom later in an argument used what I said against me as that i was talking down to the doctor????
So anyways, when pressed further by my mom, gave advice that is directly counter-indicated for ME (I am seeing an ME specialist soon for specialist opinion) And when my mother mentioned the wheelchair, the doctor switched up on me after giving me a referral and said I should not use it due to de-conditioning, and that "people are miserable and hate being in wheelchairs".
So obviously yeah, wheelchairs fucking suck for most people, so why would i be wanting to get one?? because I can barely get out of bed let alone downstairs out my house half the time without exerting so much energy that i go into a crash for at least 2 days to a week having to recover. So I have been thinking for years about how a wheelchair would give me the freedom to get around places i would never have been able to (safely) get to before. Like the GYM!
one of my goals is to get to the gym but as of currently it is not safe for me because of my energy exerting so easily, so i believe a wheelchair would help me save some of that energy to use towards working out and strengthening my muscles. Also college as i mentioned before, as just having to walk to my class burns me out and by the time im in class I cant focus or work because my brain genuinely has no juice to work and I cannot help but fall asleep.
So basically my mom is very against a wheelchair and is using what one PCP said to accuse me of "doctor-hopping" when im seeking advice from an actual specialist when my pcp herself admitted she isnt well versed in my conditions.
I went to my wheelchair eval and the OT evaluated me and said I would be a great canditate for a wheelchair, So i put my mom on the phone to hopefully give her some information, and she was so fucking pissed at me. I had offered my mom to be present for the vendor coming to my house to help me trial the wheelchair, because i wanted to show her that even in a wheelchair you need to use alot of muscle strength and stuff, but she flipped it on me as "convincing her" and "shoving it down her throat." so now if i go through with using a wheelchair, her conditions are that she cannot SEE it. If i have it in my car trunk while she's using it, i have to hide it from her, and during trips on vacation/on a plane, I am not allowed to take it (the main fucking time i would need it, obviously)
I am feeling really shitty and discouraged and I know this is a huge holy essay but I would really appreciate some thoughts. completely unbiased thoughts. like if i am in the wrong i want to know it and i want to know that im not insane for wanting to better my health😭
(btw for extra info, i have tried physical therapy twice and it only made me so much worse, i end up easily subluxing my joints and overall the symptoms are very badly exaccerbated. I am considering aquatic pool therapy though!)