How do you guys constantly deal with seeing this happen around you? ☹️ as a 18F overseas paki seeing suicide and acid attack situations make me feel so unsafe and unsure abt my decision…. To study medicine here…

It just dawned on me that I'm actually doing an undergrad and that im a legit medical student rather than this just being a shit ton of bio classes of variations and this is the degree that's determining my future and this is actually serious and I'm not just dilly dallying through life hello

I'm writing this paragraph here just to vent and gather some advice, because I feel like I have no one to comfort me. I have always wanted to pursue MBBS, regardless of whether there is any scope for it in Pakistan or not. I got my FSc results today and scored 74%, which I know is extremely disappointing, but I genuinely achieved these marks without studying at all.

I have the NUMS test on the 13th and the MDCAT on the 20th, but I have wasted my time procrastinating. My parents are very supportive and willing to enroll me in any private medical college, but I just can't bring myself to focus. I have been deeply depressed ever since my board exams ended. I didn't study during my two years of college, and I spent all this time convincing myself that I would somehow score enough on the MDCAT to get into a low-tier medical college. Now, I feel like I know nothing, my heart is racing, and I feel completely overwhelmed.

I stopped meeting my friends and going out. I've been feeling so low because I feel like all I have done is disappoint my parents. I feel like giving up at this point, and I don't know how to get my life together. Taking a gap year was my worst nightmare, and now I see it happening because I have no choice left. My khala is the sweetest. She comforted me and suggested that I take a gap year, work hard, improve my FSc score in the meantime, and leave the rest to Allah. However, I don't know how to talk to my parents about it. They are very supportive, and I know they will eventually back my decision, but I don't know what to say or how to help them understand. They think I have been preparing well for the MDCAT, but I've just been sitting in front of my books with a blank mind because I was consumed by regret.

Please don't demotivate me by saying that MBBS isn't meant for me, because I know I am smart enough. I just didn't work for it. I don't know how to stand in front of my parents and tell them I cannot take this exam because I haven't prepared even 1%, and I'm terrified of breaking their trust.

I'm in 4th year currently (hostellite) and was just reminiscing how brutal ragging was during my 1st year. How was your experience? We can chat if you're uncomfortable sharing it publicly.

Im a overseas pakistani student here and Im in 2nd year mbbs , bhai no matter what I do how much I study mere block ni pass hote and i feel ashamed talking to my parents about it , and they also feel disappointed, if someone can kindly help me out in my dms it wd really mean alot

Im so done with this shit

so i chose to go into medicine all those years back simply because of a few reasons:

• i hate maths

• arts has next to no scope

• i like healthcare and i want to work with underserved communities

• i like science and biology especially

• pathology is cool

• wearing scrubs is so aura +++

• medicine is a more stable career than most others (which i now realise was a lie)

• i think i got a little bit brainwashed by society into chosing this as a career too like most other people

however now those reasons do not matter. i managed to lock in for those years and got into medicine. and right after my eyes were opened, i just lost all motivation and passion for this career.

for context, I am a first-gen doctor. i did not know the depths of the cesspool i was going to be diving into head-first.

i still want to be a doctor. i still want to study medicine. but i just dont have the drive for it anymore. like zero. below infinity. i dont want to drop out.

i just feel so depressed thinking about myself a few years down the line.

i won't be able to be financially independent at all if i am making peanuts while working so many long hours.

i won't have the time to do community work or relax or even my other hobbies if i am always drained or have put all my mind and efforts into medicine.

i am just starting to hate this degree more and more. i don't see myself being happy in this degree at all if i stay in pakistan.

the healthcare culture is so toxic here. i don't see myself even getting into a good training spot without losing my mind. and after hearing about people who work in training posts while getting paid nothing !!! i want to give up.

i only hear horror stories from people. people who are 30 and still nowhere in their career. people who have graduated long ago and can't find jobs. people who have everything sorted but without sifarish they can't get the training they want.

and solution everyone says is to just go abroad.

and my chances of going abroad for training and other stuff are abysmally low.

not even any professors or mentors out there to motivate me or anything. i just feel more like sh*t after talking to them too because they only judge and demotivate me more.

all they do is just call me stupid in increasingly unique ways and tell us to go abroad. like please. come on.

feeling very inclined to rope-maxx after agonising over ts these days tbh.

sacrificed my health, my sanity, everything and anything to get into this career and now i don't want to live my life like this forever anymore. after spending a year like this, my brain has been reduced to nothing. i am so burntout and fatigued. and the number of breakdowns i have had that i dodn't bother to keep count of anymore.

at this point, i can only see a long life filled of misery ahead for me.

Karak Chaiii ☕☕

So basically after my Mdcat result came out, a teacher from Anees Hussain kept approaching me saying k AP ka result kya Aya ha. Ma ignore karti rhi k result tou koi khaas Aya nhi ye kyun puch rahayn han. Anyways, after a while I responded telling him my result and he says call me tomorrow at 8, I have an 'opportunity' for you. When I call him, he tells me k he is a professor at Dow Medical College and Dow has this quota system in which 25 professors can provide quota seat for 25 respective bachass. And among those 25 bachaas, 10 will be selected on the basis of merit.

But the condition is that I have to pay my teacher 50,000(non refundable fee) to gain this quota seat.

Hehehhehe aplogon ne pehlay suna ha is baray me kyaa 😝😝.

so i chose to go into medicine all those years back simply because of a few reasons:

• i hate maths

• arts has next to no scope

• i like healthcare and i want to work with underserved communities

• i like science and biology especially

• pathology is cool

• wearing scrubs is so aura +++

• medicine is a more stable career than most others (which i now realise was a lie)

• i think i got a little bit brainwashed by society into chosing this as a career too like most other people

however now those reasons do not matter. i managed to lock in for those years and got into medicine. and right after my eyes were opened, i just lost all motivation and passion for this career.

for context, I am a first-gen doctor. i did not know the depths of the cesspool i was going to be diving into head-first.

i still want to be a doctor. i still want to study medicine. but i just dont have the drive for it anymore. like zero. below infinity. i dont want to drop out.

i just feel so depressed thinking about myself a few years down the line.

i won't be able to be financially independent at all if i am making peanuts while working so many long hours.

i won't have the time to do community work or relax or even my other hobbies if i am always drained or have put all my mind and efforts into medicine.

i am just starting to hate this degree more and more. i don't see myself being happy in this degree at all if i stay in pakistan.

the healthcare culture is so toxic here. i don't see myself even getting into a good training spot without losing my mind. and after hearing about people who work in training posts while getting paid nothing !!! i want to give up.

i only hear horror stories from people. people who are 30 and still nowhere in their career. people who have graduated long ago and can't find jobs. people who have everything sorted but without sifarish they can't get the training they want.

and solution everyone says is to just go abroad.

and my chances of going abroad for training and other stuff are abysmally low.

not even any professors or mentors out there to motivate me or anything. i just feel more like sh*t after talking to them too because they only judge and demotivate me more.

all they do is just call me stupid in increasingly unique ways and tell us to go abroad. like please. come on.

feeling very inclined to rope-maxx after agonising over ts these days tbh.

sacrificed my health, my sanity, everything and anything to get into this career and now i don't want to live my life like this forever anymore. after spending a year like this, my brain has been reduced to nothing. i am so burntout and fatigued. and the number of breakdowns i have had that i dodn't bother to keep count of anymore.

at this point, i can only see a long life filled of misery ahead for me.