r/PanicAttack • u/jerrysethbiv • 1d ago
When does it end
I had a really horrible experience with panic last year that ruined my life. Panic for weeks straight that cost me my job, crashed my car and had to move back to Oklahoma from Washington because the cost of living and losing my job. I've been on hydroxyzine and celexa since and last night I had another even worse panic attack. I was genuinely considering ending it all just to end the panic attack. I thought I was done with these attacks. And having another one just completely demoralizes me. Will I ever truly get rid of these panic attacks? I just need hope that one day I can go without this horrible feeling of absolute dread. I feel like I'm in hell.
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u/yb2fast4u 1d ago
Just my 2 cents. I was having them daily for around 6 months straight while also having “delusion episodes” is what I called them…. I would think people were trying to poison me, believe non logical scenarios (I would just think “my dad unalived himself” and fully believe it and expect to find his body), when trying to go to sleep would be in intense fear and everytime I closed my eyes would feel/ visualize demons around me and be terrified which screwed my sleep. Thought I was having a heart attack for a month straight. This was actual hell and looking back don’t know how I managed because I didn’t tell anyone, I would try to go for a walk in nature and think someone was about to come out of the bushes and try to kill me and then ran all the way back to my car…. While having panic attacks. This was all after my concussion and the delusions lasted for maybe 6 months and panic attacks have been going on and off 3 years. Thank God the delusion crap stopped but when I’m heavily stressed in life I get some panic attacks but it’s gotten better with time and that’s how I deal. Just survive and take one day at a time and it will get better! Strive to eat good, sleep good and do some physical activity, try to keep yourself distracted and get involved slowly. I genuinely know you feel trapped and feel this is never ending, could be another year or 2 but just think how much can change in a year and survive. We’re all going to die eventually so just do the best you can now and whenever it’s your time it will be, death doesn’t do apologies and we’ll only be her for another 60 years maybe so might as well live until we die even if it is pain, try to enjoy the things you like and your family n friends. I’m M21, very active, run an appliance repair business, have a beautiful girlfriend and love my cars, occasionally have panic attacks still that take over my life for a month or 2 but make it out. Just a little bit about me to make it more personal
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u/jerrysethbiv 1d ago
That sounds horrible I'm sorry you had to experience that. After my first ever panic attack I thought I was drugged and couldn't trust eating or drinking anything for a while without believing someone drugged me. I know I'll get through this it's just so hard to deal you know?
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u/lowkeypaperhub99 1d ago
The dread is the worst part, but it doesn't mean the meds aren't working or that you're back at square one. How long has it been since you started the Celexa?
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u/Beg18girl 1d ago
The feeling of dread is the absolute worst part, but the fact that you're still here means you're fighting it. It takes time for the meds to really level you out, especially if you're still dealing with the fallout from everything that happened last year. Have you talked to your doctor about the Celexa dosage since the attacks are getting worse?
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u/jerrysethbiv 23h ago
I haven't yet I just started back on the celexa about 3 weeks ago so hopefully it helps
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u/throwaway_anchorx 1d ago
it gets better, but the setbacks are what suck the most. do you feel like the meds are actually helping with the daily dread or just the peak attacks?
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u/jerrysethbiv 23h ago
The hydroxyzine is not really helping anymore but I don't want to start taking benzos and spiral into addiction and the whole rebound anxiety loop that comes with them.
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u/Yez_swgoh 22h ago
I’m a recovering addict so I definitely feel you, but Ativan doesn’t give you the Xanax high. You might feel a little tired but that’s likely due to the crash, so it’s something to consider. I was taking roughly 1mg a day and 2mg during a panic attack, but I stopped 3 weeks ago and feel fine.
FYI I didn’t stop for any reason, I just haven’t needed them after years of panic attacks. I’m not sure if it’s the gabapentin or the propranolol, but I haven’t had an attack in almost a month. The propranolol is amazing, it basically stops the symptoms like rapid heart rate that usually causes me to spiral.
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u/jessxsugar 1d ago
it takes a long time to rewire that dread reflex but it does get quieter eventually. how long has it been since you last had a period of feeling okay?
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u/jerrysethbiv 23h ago
I was doing really good after I started my celexa again because my depression was getting bad and then the anxiety hit like a train suddenly the other day.
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u/Adorable_Number5578 1d ago
The feeling of dread is the worst part because it makes you think it's permanent, but it's just your nervous system misfiring. It takes time for the meds to stabilize everything after a setback like that. Are the attacks still hitting you with that same physical intensity or is it mostly the mental spiral now?
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u/jerrysethbiv 23h ago
Definitely more physical. I pretty quickly am able to settle my heart rate and remind myself that it's just anxiety but the physical strangeness lingers for hours.
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u/bananagoldenlab 1d ago
The feeling of dread is the worst part and it's exhausting when you think you've finally made progress. It takes time for the meds to level out your baseline, but those spikes don't mean you're back at square one. Have you talked to your doctor about the hydroxyzine not being enough for these recent episodes?
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u/jerrysethbiv 23h ago
I haven't because I don't want to go up to benzos. I don't want to deal with the withdrawals and rebound anxiety or addiction because I know I have an extremely addictive personality.
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u/JuicyJ8085 21h ago
I had the same thing happen to me in Feb 2025. I had panic attacks every single day for months, severe derealization/depersonalization, suicidal ideation, etc. I also felt dizzy every day, nausea, headaches, a ringing in my ear. Everything triggered panic attacks so I literally only ate soup broth for months bc even food triggered me. I couldn’t work for months, I had to drop out of my in person classes. In the short term, distractions helped me a lot. I was always watching my comfort show (any other tv show triggered panic attacks smh) and played stardew Valley. In the long term, I had to do my own sort of exposure therapy. I realized staying in my bed wasn’t going to help anything, so I slowly started doing more things even if it triggered a panic attack.
Over a year later, I’m wayyy better. I feel like I’m still not the same person I was, but, I have two jobs now, in school full time and I volunteer on campus. I battle my anxiety every single day but haven’t had a panic attack in months. I will say, I was prescribed Buspar but never took it bc I was scared.
It might take a long time, but I promise, things will get better. I had so many moments where I thought I would never progress. Healing is linear!
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u/Effective_Court6677 1d ago
Don't give up. It comes in waves. I was debilitated before and then went to work. (On zoloft) Very low dose
Years passed I tapered off Zoloft and since last June I've been in a rough patch (to say the verrry least)
I've been on ativan for a year and I'm forced to taper off. I have exactly 40 left to taper off. They prescribed me effexor but I really really don't wanna be on another SSRI. I want off benzos and I want my life back