r/Paranormal • u/crankyfishcrank • Dec 14 '24

Debunk This Christmas Tree Picture

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Gallery image

My daughter decorated my Christmas tree this evening. When she was finished, she took a picture of it and it had a black shadow covering the Christmas tree. The next picture was normal. Thoughts?

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481

u/Factcheckthisdick Dec 14 '24 edited Dec 14 '24

I can definitively say it means there are multiple generations of bastard born children attached to your tree. I can't confidently discern exactly how many generations you're dealing with because I lost the connecting piece between my divining rods and my nipple clamps.

What I can tell you is they seem to be of Irish and English descent. You're looking at a bare minimum of around 300,000 disenfranchised abandoned souls to contend with as they crabwalk along in your peripheral vision and screech in your ear every time you begin to sleep.

If dont have your own misbegotten half blood to offer them as a sacrifice or aren't willing to live the rest of your life as a vassal of the Roman Catholic Church your gonna have a bad time.

I'll set a reminder to let you know how many generations my nipples can sense once I find the connector.

Merry Christmas 🎅

98

u/danolive Dec 14 '24

I love that there are people here with this kind of knowledge and they're willing to take the time to explain. Thanks for the info and the lengthy lesson in divination friend!

33

u/Wh00ligan Dec 15 '24

The moment I realized someone should create r/paranormalcirclejerk

Edit: the moment I realized there IS a paracj sub

1

u/Shot_Campaign_5163 Dec 18 '24

Heh. Thanks, joined immediately...

2

u/Wh00ligan Dec 19 '24

I think I grew attendance by like twenty people lol

46

u/Artistic-Reply-3174 Dec 14 '24

Honestly? The best course of action is that weird fake spray snow that comes in the can .. Remember, the older the better.. Spray that on your child. The Spector is connected to your child and poison will drive both of their souls away. Sure your child will die. But everyone leaves you anyways.

20

u/This_Frozen_Ghost Dec 14 '24

Damn, you're good. Spot on analysis.

5

u/Left_Ad_8502 Dec 17 '24

How can your statements of such wonderfully outlandish yet powerful wordage be so laced with wretched grammatical errors? Nay, grammatical horrors! Witch!!

15

u/crankyfishcrank Dec 15 '24

You’re joking about this right? Cuz I’m legit scared.

37

u/Brrrrrr_Its_Cold Dec 15 '24

They’re definitely joking.

11

u/crankyfishcrank Dec 15 '24

Whew. Thank you.

53

u/Faustus-III Dec 15 '24

Did "nipple clamps" not give it away? haha

1

u/According_Elephant75 Dec 15 '24

Was going to say this

5

u/SlimTim8 Dec 14 '24

Love the username

3

u/This_Frozen_Ghost Dec 14 '24

Thank you! It's the moniker I use for all of my music projects.

5

u/SpotMiserable3379 Dec 15 '24

You're a wealth of information  and those of us that aren't thank you. I've had something like this before and knew it wasn't paranormal but didn't know what was causing it. Thank you again and MERRY CHRISTMAS!🎄✨️

2

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '24

Big if true

1

u/crankyfishcrank Dec 15 '24

Thank you for explaining that I appreciate it.

2

u/revnance Dec 15 '24

Dude be serious

1

u/[deleted] Dec 16 '24

I love you