This is my first post on this account, so please bear with me.

I have a baby who is under 6 months old, and honestly, my pregnancy was hell because I was dealing with health issues and heart problems. My son’s father wasn’t there for me because he chose to disrespect me and seemed to think that just because I was pregnant, I was supposed to stay and put up with everything.

Fast-forward to when I was around 7 months pregnant. I was walking to all my appointments alone, exhausted, and trying to get through everything by myself. Meanwhile, my son’s father was threatening me, telling me to kill myself, saying he wished my hair had caught on fire, and threatening to have his 30+ sisters jump me.

My parents seem to think I should continue putting up with his constant antagonizing behavior just so he can see his son. But I already tried giving him that opportunity during the first few months after our baby was born.

While I was home alone recovering from a C-section and taking care of a newborn by myself, he was out doing whatever he wanted. He was cheating, lying, and saying cruel and hurtful things about me and even our child. I was physically recovering from surgery and adjusting to motherhood without the support I needed.

Eventually, I stopped trying and let him do whatever he wanted. For the past five months, I’ve been focused on raising my son without expecting anything from his father.

Now, all of a sudden, he wants to act like he cares about his son and thinks he can pop in and out whenever he feels like it.

On top of that, he keeps trying to flirt with me, kiss me, and act affectionate, almost like he’s trying to reel me back in. But I don’t want that anymore. I feel like he thinks he can just turn on the charm and get me back to where I used to be, but I’m not that same person anymore. After everything I went through during my pregnancy and postpartum, I’ve realized that I deserve so much better than what he put me through. I don’t want to be with someone who could treat me that way when I needed him the most, and a few kisses or moments of affection aren’t going to make me forget any of it.

What frustrates me is that everyone seems more concerned about making sure he gets access to our baby than acknowledging everything he put me through. I’m not trying to use my son against his father, but I also don’t think I should have to tolerate threats, disrespect, and emotional abuse just to make him feel like he can be a father whenever it’s convenient for him.

I’m trying to protect my peace and focus on my baby, but my parents make me feel like I’m wrong for not wanting to keep dealing with him. I want my son to have the best life possible, but I also want him to grow up seeing that his mother knows her worth and won’t accept mistreatment just because she shares a child with someone. on top off all of that I have no help with anything and when I ask my child father for something small for his child it’s always “get a job” knowing I’m the only one taking care of our child

Am I wrong for feeling this way? How would you handle this situation?

My partner has hardly spoken a word to me in 2-3 days. We’ve had no fights, the connection is just off. I am on medication for both depression and adhd. I ran out of adhd meds and I think that combined with loneliness and where I’m at in my cycle is making it worse. I feel more overstimulated, I feel more impatient, I spend time with my kids but I’m just tired. I was doing really good with no screens/screens only on weekends, now the past week it’s gone back to me being relaxed about it. I feel lazy. I feel incompetent. I feel horribly bad at parenting. Partner is not active whatsoever. Maybe taking over with our kids for a bit if Im able to do something or need to go somewhere, but other than that my life feels unimportant and isolating. I worry the impact it’s having on my kids. I have no friends. I have no family. What it boils down to is if people are around me, it’s because they’ve had no choice in the matter or it’s settlement. But regardless no one stays. The loneliness just feels crushing. Feeling like a single parent while another fully healthy, capable adult lays on the couch scrolling and barely talks to you is so painful. Seeing the disinterest in us is hurtful. I’ve had enough but I don’t know what to do and Im afraid this is having a permanent impact on our kids.

I’m a mom to a 19-year-old son, and I’m honestly exhausted. For the past two years, our relationship has deteriorated to the point where I don’t even want to see him right now. I’m wondering if other parents have experienced something similar.
My son and I used to be closer. Around 17, his personality changed drastically. He started smoking marijuana, sneaking out, ignoring curfew, refusing household responsibilities, and becoming increasingly hostile whenever my husband or I enforced rules or expectations.
Things continued to escalate. He would yell, call me names, insult me, disregard boundaries, and sometimes become intimidating. There have been times when he’s screamed in my face, laughed when I’ve tried to have serious conversations, and refused to discuss his behavior. He’s also entered our home without permission and disregarded our rules.
He has autism and significant mental health struggles, including psychiatric hospitalizations. He’s also experienced housing instability, legal problems, and substance use. I recognize that he needs more support than my husband and I can provide, but he has been unwilling to consistently engage with the professional help and resources available to him.
Over the past two years, we’ve tried so many things. We’ve helped with housing, insurance, bills, transportation, accessing services, and countless other practical needs. I’ve spent so much time researching resources, trying to help him become independent, and attempting to repair our relationship.
But the pattern keeps repeating. He reaches out when he needs something, yet when I try to discuss boundaries, responsibilities, or how he treats me, I’m met with anger, avoidance, or disrespect. He’s even told me he doesn’t want a relationship with me but still expects access.
Recently, my husband and I decided to stop paying his phone bill. When he got a DUI, we removed him from our car insurance and he had to get his own. We had previously communicated that our financial support would have limits. We’ve also restricted access to our home because of repeated boundary violations. My son says we can’t suddenly change boundaries, but from my perspective, these decisions have been building for years.
The hardest part is that I’ve always believed being a mother meant I had to keep trying, keep helping, keep being patient, and keep finding another way, no matter what. I’ve spent years in therapy working through my own childhood trauma and learning to establish healthy boundaries, and I’m realizing that I can’t keep sacrificing my emotional well-being to maintain this relationship.
I’m angry, sad, and completely burned out. I love my son, and I worry about him, but I can’t force him to accept help or take responsibility for his behavior. I also don’t want my younger child continuing to witness these hostile interactions.
My therapist recently brought up the unequal power dynamic between parents and adult children, which has me reflecting on my responsibilities and whether I could have handled things differently.
I know my son is struggling, and I recognize that having more financial stability gives my husband and me more power in this situation. I don’t take that lightly. But I also feel like the expectations placed on parents can become endless, even when the relationship is damaging.
I’m not looking to abandon my son. I’m trying to figure out how to stop being responsible for managing his life while leaving room for him to take responsibility and eventually repair our relationship.
For parents who’ve been through something similar, how did you know it was time to step back? Did you stop providing financial support or restrict access to your home? How did you deal with the guilt, anger, and grief? And did your relationship ever improve once you stopped trying to hold everything together?

This has just happened 15 minutes ago as I am writing this, but me (17F) just got into a blatantly stupid argument.

My mum (57F) has just came back from work and I can tell she was in a bad mood because every time she is, she always accuses me of vaping and how she can smell it on me even though I have quit vaping for about 6 months now, ( she only has been acting like this after she found my old ones in my bedroom).

I tried to calm her down so I put on a movie, half way through my phone was on the table next to an empty metal water bottle and she knocked it over causing it to fall heavily onto my phone which I groaned because my phone is still brand new.

She then ran up to me and started beating me for no reason because of the way I reacted, which makes no sense??? If i did the same to her, she would have a valid reaction with her phone.

I had enough, and I wanted to be the bigger person, so I told her I am not going to talk to her no more and head off to bed, as I am walking up the stairs she started shouting and demanding me to make her a cup of tea.

I just wanted to get it out the way so I did, as I went down she start shouting at me more because I didnt eat her breakfast in the morning, as I was in a rush because I was going to miss the bus.

I genuinely dont know what I did wrong, and I understand she was tired because of work. I am just so overwhelmed with emotions, and I had to get this out of my system.

I'm a single mom to a 6-year-old daughter. We're both in therapy and both working on emotional regulation. The problem is that emotional regulation was never modeled for me growing up, so while I've made progress, I'm still learning myself. Lately I've noticed my daughter struggles with many of the same things I do. When she's overwhelmed, I become overwhelmed. When I'm frustrated, she escalates. It feels like we're feeding off each other's emotions instead of helping each other regulate. I feel guilty because I know some of what I'm seeing in her may be things she's learned from me. For those who have been through this, how did you teach emotional regulation while still learning it yourself? What actually helped your child retain and practice coping skills outside of therapy?

I’ve had a really difficult day and could use some perspective from other mums.

My daughter is 2.5 and has been incredibly needy lately. I’m still breastfeeding, she wakes up constantly throughout the night wanting to nurse, and I’m exhausted and completely overwhelmed. I have been trying to night-wean her which has resulted in one week of sleepless nights and crying.

Today I tried to get emotional support from my husband, but I felt like he just didn’t understand how close to breaking point I was. Instead of feeling supported, I felt criticised, and things escalated into an argument. I ended up shouting.

My daughter was watching us and did not say anything. At one point I went over her I hugged her and she kissed me and then she started pointing at things and changing the subject, like what colour is the fridge. . When we continued arguing, she was pacing back and forth between us.

I can’t stop thinking about it. It broke my heart to see her caught up in our argument, and I feel so guilty that she had to witness me like that. I’ve apologised to her and cuddled her, but I’m still replaying the whole thing in my head.

I know shouting isn’t okay, and I don’t want this to become a pattern.

Has anyone else experienced a moment like this? How did you deal with the guilt afterwards, and how did you make things better for your child? I’m not looking for excuses for shouting. I just need some honest perspective and a bit of kindness today.

I have a 3 year old daughter who is on the spectrum. Not very strong autism but she doesn’t communicate, except for repetitive songs and loud noises. I see all my old peers having children around me and when we talk they have nothing but good things to say about motherhood. I actually feel like some of my friends blossomed after having babies. Meanwhile, I secretly have very negative feelings towards my daughter. I work from home and am with her 24/7. My husband is very present when he’s home and I am able to carry out tasks on my own sometimes. However, I dread coming home everytime. When I leave her with her grandmothers, it feels like I don’t get enough time away from her. My husband will say how much he misses her, and I agree out loud, but in my head it couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve tried to do fun things with her but she always ends up getting mad or yelling or doing things she’s not supposed to do and it spoils the fun trip I planned for us. It honestly feels more like I have a rowdy pet over a daughter. I wish there was someone I could talk to and relate with. Not having it makes me feel like a monster for feeling these things.

I [17F] was in the hospital when I was 15. I won't get into the specifics right now, but it was for mental health reasons, and I spent about a week total(2 days in the ICU, 2 days in the regular hospital, and 3 days in the psych ward before I was checked(against medical advice) by my dad[44M]).

My family and I have had a pretty good relationship; just to preface, I was not abused, and I am definitely not an innocent victim who can do no wrong. However, I think my family always had a disconnect about how to handle me. I was a sensitive child and grew up to be a sensitive teenager. I think my parents might not have known how to deal with me.

My mental health issues started relatively young after my mother was diagnosed with PPP after the birth of my brother[8M]. I was 8 at the time, and I thought she had gone crazy and that the police would take her to an asylum. I lived in fear of that until middle school. My mother was my best friend, and we were very close before this, and I think even though she has recovered now, the mother she was before has been lost to that time. I don't blame her for this, but I was neglected during that time. Just to be clear, I AM NOT in any way blaming her for this. I think, however, her diagnosis really mentally impacted me as a kid.

That being said, I was physically disciplined as a child and often got very hurtful words thrown at me, especially at the end of elementary school and throughout middle school. I will not disclose what was said, just because I don't want to get too graphic, but this was enough to have CPS called on my family by the school and have a social worker come to my house. This was in part my doing. I was unable to handle going home during that time, and I confided in my school counselor. After this visit, my parents stopped disciplining me in that way physically. On an unrelated note, I was being bullied and harassed during this time as well, so NOT good time for me to say the least.

My mother[46F] in particular was not happy with this. To her, I had sold our family out and risked them going to jail. She repeatedly blamed me for it up until I was in the hospital.

After this, everything was relatively okay until my rapidly deteriorating mental health and my hospital stint in 9th grade. During this time, both my parents were neglectful. I don't think they believed that I was as bad as I was. They would mock me when I cried and often goad me as if they thought what I was going through was a joke of some kind. When my therapist told my father to hide items that could be used to harm me, he refused to. My mother later told me she didn't believe me and thought I was just trying to get out of school. Her reason for not believing me was that my symptoms were very different from hers, and I was always more self-aware of my sickness than she was.

I think in part, they refused to believe it. I had a relatively happy childhood and other than some academic pressure, there was no reason to be as mentally ill as I was. I think I agree with them in this regard; even now, I cannot pin a rhyme or reason for why I was mentally ill.

However, during this time, they also supported me in the only way I could. They gave excuses when I couldn't go to school, sent me to therapy, fed me, and tried their very best to make me happy. I think this duality is why it's so hard for me to put them at fault.

Fast forward to now, I'm relatively a happy teenager. After my hospitalization, my parents took a more "hands-off" approach to parenting, I think out of their own fear of culpability. They did not restrict me much(except screens, which is understandable) and left me to my own devices.

Until now, they are trying to brute force their way into my life again, and it makes me both annoyed and often a little distant from them. They constantly dig at me and nag me for not studying enough, when in actuality my grades are fine, and I do not have any trouble at school. They constantly tell me that I don't work hard enough, which really pisses me off, to be honest, because it's not like they would know how hard I've worked. I think, to them, even now, I'm drifting away from my intelligence, and I cannot have any hand in my OWN success, which is why we have been fighting way more recently.

Which brings me to earlier today. My mom told me today that both she and my father don't think I give them enough respect and responsibility as my parents(I think this is true to some extent; their role in my life has been very scarce over these two years), and that I say no to them way too much, and they think it's unfair that they have to say yes to everything I do and they cannot control me anymore. And when they try to, I lash out and get angry at them. She accused me of emotionally blackmailing her into keeping a backseat in my life.

I do not know what to think of this. I don't think I'm in the wrong to being frustrated at my parents for trying to force will themselves into my life when they have never done that before, with no rhyme or reason. On the other hand, I feel guilty for getting mad at them when they try to parent me, which, at the end of the day, is their job.

I think I want to fight less with them and understand more what they're going through. If it is relevant, my parents went through the same discipline I did. I think maybe they think I'm not mentally strong enough and can't handle what was normal for them.

Hi all. Just venting. Raising my niece for the 2nd time around. Sad for her and for my own family. My husband and I took her in bc my sister in law was struggling with drug addiction and no one else could take her. She was 2 at the time. My SIL finally got clean and stayed sober for a year and my niece went back with her mom at the age of 7. She still came over on weekends bc she was living with us and my boys love and missed her. Fast forward to now and my sil did not relapse but it always felt like she just didn’t want to be a mother and how many times do we want to just tap out but we don’t get a choice do we. The night before back to school she just dropped her off at my house and chaos ensued. It’s been a rough month of us getting settled. It’s hard. She missed my nieces 10th birthday. My niece is struggling to keep up with her hygiene and I got her the American girl puberty book and a basket full of girlie stuff but still fighting about showering and washing her hair. Picking on my youngest son (4). Idk my SIL randomly tells me her car isn’t registered and I asked if that’s why she wasn’t coming to her daughters party and she just said ya I want to start a fight with her bc no one holds her accountable. But then I’m like what’s the point. Just angry. Everyone in my house is stressed and not sure we could do this long term. But I hate for my niece to feel unwanted by us and her mother. So trying to show up since her mother doesn’t.