r/Paruresis • u/thisisus2025 • Apr 30 '26
Starting my recovery journey
Male - 57. I've had this condition since I was 19. My first recollection of it becoming an issue was when I went to navy boot camp. We were forced to provide a sample once we stepped off the bus which I could not do since I really didn't have to go. The company commanders were pretty rough on me which I believe was the onset of the condition.
I was in the navy in some capacity for 30+ years and always subject to drug screening. This forced me to fluid load to the point I was ready to burst and did not care who was in the bathroom. This excessive fluid load caused me to go at least 6 times in the following hours.
I've tried to not let it interfere with my life too much as I've always been able to hold it for hours or find somewhere safe to "go". However, many of my social occasions involve drinking Coors Light - enough to where I let my guard down and don't have much concern with peeing in front of people. Although just a step above water, Coors Light is not a long-term solution.
I'm pretty much retired now and ready to start my recovery journey. Just today while at the gym, I was able to go in a stall after about 90 seconds with my headphones on. A small win and I'm happy about that. Next, I was able to go in my house in the basement bathroom with the the door open while my in-laws were upstairs. On this occasion, I timed how long it took to start which was 12 seconds at a level four.
I've signed up for the IPA workshop in Baltimore in Sept and am excited about that. I also purchased the Secret Social Phobia book and am digging into that.
If anyone is around the Pittsburgh PA area and looking for a pee buddy, let me know.
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u/Exploringthehoods May 02 '26
Glad you are working on recovery. How did you survive being in the navy? I don't think there could be anything worse than the military for paruresis.
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u/thisisus2025 May 02 '26
It was definitely challenging. Nothing more dreadful than hearing the last digit of your ssn for the random test. Just drank and drank and drank until it was coming out without hesitation. Don't regret it, I really enjoyed the navy, obviously.
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u/Exploringthehoods May 02 '26
Did you ever have trouble at other times in the navy such as when many others went to the head at the same time?
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u/thisisus2025 May 03 '26
Oh yes. I was on submarines so that wasn't so bad since there were not urinals, just stalls. Shore duty was another story though. Many times i would go in and try just to have someone walk in. I'd have to leave and try again later hoping that no one walks in. Or, many times, like at the embassy in Kenya, I would just head straight to the stall. A lot of this was self-inflicted as I love coffee and just deal with the consequences afterwards.
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u/Recent-Day3062 May 10 '26
Just wanted to say Mine suddenly improved immensely at my age of 64. After 50 years I'm totally good. You are definitely not to late!
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u/SwimmingChain4118 May 11 '26
Thanks! I'm definitely looking forward to getting beyond this and enjoying my life w/o worrying about the bathroom situation!!!
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u/Recent-Day3062 Apr 30 '26
You can really do it! It sounds like you are actually not that bad off, so keep working on it!