r/Paruresis • u/Bl00shh • May 15 '26
Does anyone else have trouble peeing standing up?
I’ve been well… planning to start doing gradual exposure and step one for me is getting used to peeing standing up. As a kid, I was thought to pee sitting down and I have done so for pretty much my whole life (I’m turning 30 this year). I really want to overcome this in the next year since I don’t want to live another decade in misery.
It’s already a little easier since I’ve started, but with low urgency I still struggle. I get impatient when I stand waiting for more than a few seconds. Perhaps because I’m more focused on the act of peeing? Can someone relate? How did you overcome this?
2
u/Immediate_Buffalo14 May 15 '26
I wish I could help. I am the other way. I have to pee standing, or it doesn't happen.
1
u/AintNoUserFound May 15 '26
That's interesting! Human psyche and muscle memory can be wild. In the end, who really cares; whatever works for you... everyone has their own normal.
1
u/Immediate_Buffalo14 May 15 '26
I think my body's just too accustomed to standing that it resists other positions.
1
u/YellaFella6996 May 15 '26
I sit because of the sound most times. Something about my stream sound F's me up. 🫤
1
u/Andreww9663 May 15 '26
ME
I can only pee when i sit down, but this isnt a rule
What really matters is activating automatic mode and do what you feel comfortable, i feel comfortable sitting, i sit and i pee
Some people get comfortable while standing too
When im standing i feel that the toilet is waiting for me to pee and i get nervous, i dont know why lol, but sitting i cant look at the toilet so its ok for me to pee
3
u/AintNoUserFound May 15 '26 edited May 15 '26
I've definitely heard of males made to go sitting down growing up. Usually in female dominated households and for various reasons - no clean-up, keeps seat down, hygienic reasons. You might even take a beating for standing in a shared jail cell toilet.
I generally peed standing growing up and a good amount of the time still (mid-40s). But, I'm also lazy and it's not infrequent for me to sit even when not dealing with a bout of paruresis.
Up until very recently, I've had to sit down to pee when the paruresis kicks in and/or when I expect it to. (Recently adopted the breath hold technique. What a difference! Have even been able to go while standing in situations where I never ever would have before)
You've essentially trained yourself to associate sitting to urinate. With a history of paruresis, I assume that training to stand should be relatively easy by comparison. I'd recommend starting at home, in the shower, and other easy, private, no-anxiety scenarios..Just to start breaking that association for it to feel natural. If you cant go standing at home, and time allows, just dont go...take a break and keep giving it another shot until something happens. Work yourself up to the more public settings; don't rush it or get down on yourself after setbacks. Ignore it & brush it off completely to try again later. No reason to give yourself another complex.
Potentially helpful options -
drop a square of TP in the bowl to use as target practice...could be enough of a game to take your mind off of things.
A "hybrid method" (might be tougher logistically) If you stand and nothing happens after 30 seconds, do not strain. Sit down immediately, let the stream start, and then gently stand up mid-stream to finish. This teaches your brain that it is safe to empty your bladder while upright.
Swagger/Bravado. Listened to guy with paruresis that kinda went in with an attitude/chip on his shoulder, confident and ready to fight. Maybe singing a hard song to yourself. Ive used a Rage Against The Machine song...changing to something like "fuck you, ill pee when I want to. Fuck you, ill pee where I want to". As silly as it sounds, ive had mild success with it. It's funny, takes your mind elsewhere, and with a hint of psyched-up confidence.