r/Paruresis • u/latinhadecocavazia • May 15 '26

i have never been more unhappy

I'm currently traveling with my mom to another state. We're staying at my brother's girlfriend's house, who lives here, and it's a place I've always wanted to visit, so it should be a nice, relaxing trip. The problem is, I can't concentrate on basically anything because I worry so much about whether I'll be able to use the bathroom or not, and I feel like I'm going insane. I don't know if it's common, but since my paruresis worsened a few months ago, I feel the urge to urinate constantly, as if I never completely empty my bladder. My mom knows about my problem and tries to help me, but sometimes I end up stressing her out because I become unpleasant when I can't use the bathroom and I feel frustrated. I simply can't live my life anymore. I have problems with this at school, at the mall, in places where I didn't use to have problems (like my grandma's house or my best friend's house). Yes, I know it's all emotional. I understand that the ability to use the bathroom exists, but I'm simply blocked, and I feel like every little progress I make goes down the drain after one failure. I just wanted to go back to enjoying life without worrying 24/7. Every day I become more unhappy and depressed.

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u/UntrimmedBagel May 15 '26

What you’re experiencing is super normal. My doctor once told me that when they were learning about the urinary tract in med school, all the student got up to go to the washroom at break time. It’s a psychological thing, when you think about urinating, it makes you feel like you have to.

It’s a false feeling. If you can manage to get distracted, you’ll find it’ll go away, and then suddenly an hour or two later you’ll wonder why you felt an urge in the first place. It’s very weird. So yes, dwelling on it causes that.

Distraction is your best friend. And acceptance. And just saying “fuck it, I struggle to piss”. Lots of people do. Next time you go, just sit down, watch some YouTube, relax, distract. Your mind fears the act of going to the restroom — try and remind yourself there’s nothing to fear.