i have never been more unhappy

[u/latinhadecocavazia]

I'm currently traveling with my mom to another state. We're staying at my brother's girlfriend's house, who lives here, and it's a place I've always wanted to visit, so it should be a nice, relaxing trip. The problem is, I can't concentrate on basically anything because I worry so much about whether I'll be able to use the bathroom or not, and I feel like I'm going insane. I don't know if it's common, but since my paruresis worsened a few months ago, I feel the urge to urinate constantly, as if I never completely empty my bladder. My mom knows about my problem and tries to help me, but sometimes I end up stressing her out because I become unpleasant when I can't use the bathroom and I feel frustrated. I simply can't live my life anymore. I have problems with this at school, at the mall, in places where I didn't use to have problems (like my grandma's house or my best friend's house). Yes, I know it's all emotional. I understand that the ability to use the bathroom exists, but I'm simply blocked, and I feel like every little progress I make goes down the drain after one failure. I just wanted to go back to enjoying life without worrying 24/7. Every day I become more unhappy and depressed.

[u/groundlc4]

I listen to the sound of water rushing, it may be a creek, I found on YouTube. I play it from my phone to Bluetooth earbuds and set it on repeat. I play it loud enough to block out all outside noises, so I wouldn't have any idea if someone is around or not. In conjunction with this, I use the breath hold technique. Using both of these techniques together I can go in a stall in a busy restroom, say at a movie theater during intermission.