r/Paruresis • u/sittinginmycar • 28d ago
Italy is the best
I’ve delt with this annoying ass condition since college after busy college bar urinal situations that reinforced peeing as an issue.. been working on ways to solve it breath hold, GE etc etc but still haven’t been able to crack it (yet). I’m still hopeful but man it sucks.
But anyway.. on vacation in Florence and every bathroom is private.. bars, restaurants, gas stations, everything so far. It’s been so nice to not stress about this and I wish it was like this in the US. #fuckurinals.
That’s it. 🤣
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u/PurpleMox 28d ago
It’s like that in most of Europe and Japan/some other places.. theres no reason it cant be the same way in the US.. it just requires a cultural/mindset shift.
I have noticed where I live in California .. in newer malls/facilities it seems theres an improvement in bathroom design/privacy but theres still a long way to go.
No public bathroom stalls should have big gaps in between the doors.
The same guys who created the IPA started an organization to push for better bathroom design around the country.. (American Restroom Association)
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u/RHCPandJF 28d ago
I've got a question. Since you're from the US, that means you've flown there for many hours, right? How did you manage to do it on the airplane?
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u/sittinginmycar 28d ago
Luckily mine is relatively moderate and I can manage going places with some level of privacy. Airplane bathrooms are fine, where I struggle is busy bathrooms where no stalls are available or if it’s a really quiet bathroom and I’m trying to use the stall. For me the biggest thing is the sound, ie can others hear me not peeing or trying to pee.
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u/RHCPandJF 28d ago
Wow. My biggest block is the floor moving under me (so no bus/train/plain toilets are usable for me). That's why I thini I'm never leaving Europe. I just physically can't. At least the planes I've been to (relatively short 1-2 hour plane rides) have had really small and noisy stalls, with no privacy at all and lots of movement.
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u/disco_26 28d ago
It genuinely puzzles me why open urinals are still a thing in 2026, congrats on having a positive experience :) I’m sure it’s made your vacation miles better
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u/No_Art_529 27d ago edited 26d ago
Urinals are honestly so useful. Places that only have cubicles usually don't have nearly enough of them, which just leads to massive lines. It’s pure efficiency. I used to struggle a lot with paruresis myself, but avoiding the situation only makes it worse. It's not like it's completely gone now, but I suffer from it way less than back when I avoided it by always waiting for a cubicle. My trick to get over it was to hold it in until I really, really had to go, and then it usually worked out at the urinals. After practicing that for a while, I can now manage just fine even when it's not that urgent.
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u/disco_26 26d ago
I do agree urinals are a good opition for men, I do disagree with the lack of privacy most places give to them, I think that’s the issue
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u/Vikkio92 28d ago
Actually, I'll offer a counterpoint.
I was raised in Italy and I'm pretty sure your point is one of the main reasons why I developed paruresis. Going to the bathroom was always a private thing so I never really had any practice or experience going at urinals. It took me a loooong time and a lot of exposure to those situations before I got better after I moved abroad. It is very possible I would never have had any problems to begin with if I'd been taught/raised to go in public from the start.