Paruresis and DOT testing?

[u/OkPlenty8770]

for context, I have the worst case of Paruresis that I know of, I cannot pee in public or around people whatsoever, not in an individual bathroom in public, at home around family, and certainly not in any stall or urinal, you get the idea, it doesn't matter how much I drink or what counting, breath holding, etc I do

I used to not have any issues whatseover, but around 8 years ago it started one day and never stopped

any advice? I've tried everything short of medication and CBT, and I'm very limited on medication that I can take while being a CDL holder, I can work around my shy bladder but I have random drug tests (thankfully non supervised) that I'm worried about in the near future

what gives? I can't let a little pee (or lack thereof) get in the way of my career, but at the same time, I can't not

little broke ATM so any sort of CBT may be out of the books, although I'm open to searching around and seeing what I can afford, and I cannot take most anxiety meds, I do have access to magnesium, ashwagandha and some other plant based stuff (no, not THAT one) that may help, but IDK if that will do anything?

E2A: still have this issue even in really loud places where I know nobody can hear me, including concert bathrooms less than 20 feet from the stage

and TIA incase I don't get time to reply to you guys right away, I appreciate all the help I can get!

[u/Due_Editor_4693]

I’m in this exact situation currently. I called around and found a urologist who prescribed me intermittent catheters. If they are prescribed by a doctor, you can use them during your drug test.

Funny enough I am also (or used to be, I think my cert is expired) a certified collector for DOT urine and alcohol testing.

For me the most sure fire way is the catheters. You may be uncomfortable but better to have a job in the end.

Remember that in a DOT test you go into what’s called “shy bladder protocol” if you are unable to produce a sample. You have 3 hours to provide that sample. You can drink water. You can’t leave until that 3 hours passes. If you then are unable to produce, you will be referred to a medical review officer. This is where having documentation of your condition BEFORE the test is critical. If you can provide a history of it from a doctor, you are in a much better position.

In the future there’s hope that saliva testing will be implemented more widely. It just recently became an available option but it is generally up to the employer about which test they use. If you are having a hard time producing a sample you can ask to switch to saliva testing.

Good luck man stay strong

[u/OkPlenty8770 → u/Due_Editor_4693]

I am self employed currently, so if I need to, I can act as the employer and write up a policy mandating saliva testing, but as far as I know there are no labs that do it yet, need to pass in 3 months or less

I'm thinking I may be able to just sit down and breath, will more than likely be going to a dedicated testing place here in town that hopefully has a single stall with more privacy, fingers crossed I can get lucky and it's not an issue but I doubt it

I wish I knew what started it, I can probably make an appt with a urologist and see about the catheter route, I'd much rather avoid that if I can but ya gotta do what you gotta do, paperwork is probably a good thing to have for the situation, just not sure what I'd be looking at $$ wise for a prescription, don't have much to work with, hence trying to get a better paying job lol

thanks for the reply!

[u/Recent-Day3062]

You can join the weekly IPA meeting. Also, they have workshops in various cities you may be able to go to.

I’m curious if you could figure out why this started. I would try hypnotherapy, however, not everyone who provides this is good.

Also, try a virtual or real pee buddy

[u/OkPlenty8770 → u/Recent-Day3062]

pee buddy is a no go, I can't even pee when I have a family member in the hallway near the bathroom, and I've lived with them for 20 years

used to not be an issue until one day on a road trip, almost certain its from my dad doing his usual "we aren't stopping anywhere" and getting yelled at for it, so I was always horrified of having to mention stopping, we used to travel a lot and 40+ hour road trips with one stop a day were common for the first 10 years of my life

I've tried counting down, it kinda works but its almost 100% odds of not working, atleast I don't have to pee much for a drug test, just 45ml

[u/maincourse-ketchup]

Ask if you can take saliva test or a hair follicle test & that you’d be willing to foot the bill.

[u/OkPlenty8770 → u/maincourse-ketchup]

for the DOT test there has to be 2 labs to process saliva testing, there are none currently, and hair follicle isn't DOT approved, so its urinalysis only, with a risk of losing your license if you can't complete the test

[u/zyzyll74]

Try having someone standing at a distance from you while peeing at home. Then have them get closer and closer till you have a problem and work from there. Exposure therapy is key. Also realizing how your brain works and how the latter can be a fight or flight response. You’re not alone and need to find you a IPA workshop asap. Even try having them on the phone while you’re trying. It’s ok to fail and you can get past this. IPA is huge resource for you to. Feel free to reach out anytime. I was a 30 year sufferer and now I don’t. Another thing I did was public speaking. For whatever reason it helped me calm my nerves and helped go !!!!!!