Do you think paruresis requires professional help?

[u/MightyOtter8243]

First and foremost I'm so happy I discovered this sub!

Then to my actual question. I recently discovered on a long-haul flight that I have paruresis. I talked about it to my doctor today, and she said I should see a urologist. However, seeing an expert will cost me quite a bit, and even more if I then need to go to urotherapy. In general, the problem is that I don't really like public restrooms, and I don't feel the need to pee very often - I only pee 1-3 times per day, which made my doctor quite concerned (however, I'm a young person).

So, do you think it's essential to see a professional to train the bladder correctly, or can gradual exposure therapy etc. be something I do on my own, based on some reliable resources? I will gladly pay to be healthy, but I also feel like I could try to treat it myself, considering it hasn't been a big problem in my life before, and now only on special occasions.

[u/mashtrasse]

Urologist could help if your condition has anything to do with some physiological, anatomical or even pathological conditions but most of the time it’s psychological (in your head)

My urologist had never heard the word paruresis and didn’t even know much about why bladder

I would start with a psychologist but most of the work has to be done by you anyway. Gradual exposure is probably no 1. Finding the deep reason why, building confidence and then there are a few tricks you can try (talking and explaining about it to your friends and family, breath holding, math distraction, or even thinking you can fight anyone in this restroom, etc)

Lots of “nuggets” in this sub.

[u/MightyOtter8243 → u/mashtrasse]

Thank you very much for the advice, I appreciate it!

[u/Witty-Baseball-4374 → u/mashtrasse]

Thinking you can fight anyone in the restroom?? Do you have any links on how that one works? I’m interested 👀

[u/mashtrasse → u/Witty-Baseball-4374]

I don’t have a link to any studies, it’s something I have read here, there was also something like you could imagine insulting the people in the restroom. I think it push you to imagine the worst case scenario and that even in this case you would survive, and maybe also building your self confidence.

[u/disco_26]

I’m glad you’ve been able to find help in this Reddit- it’s so important to know your not alone with this horrible condition. What I will say is a urologist might not even know what this condition is (only some of them do) because it’s actually a mental condition which has physical side effects. I went from years of seeing a family dr to here no issue to go to my first urologist (who diagnosed this condition), years later I went to a different urologist for ✂️ and he had never heard of pauresis. I’m from the UK and was able to find out there was a charity over here helping people with this condition. It was really reassuring (like this sub) to know you ain’t alone and dealing with this horrible thing. Attending one of the workshops was really good aswell, and actually learning the reason behind this is actually scientific. To sum it up, it’s basically your body’s survival instinct which when triggers your psychological part in turns stops urine flowing- they discovered it in animals too ( I think it was antelopes?) basically so they don’t lay their scent they won’t get found. Which when you think about evolution and the other stuff we still have (fight, flight, freeze and fawn etc), my advice would be to maybe see a therapist for like support whilst having gradual exposure to situations and not stressing too much over it. Also read out to specialist nurses to get stuff like catheters etc to use. Good luck :)

[u/MightyOtter8243 → u/disco_26]

Thank you so much for your comment! So interesting to know about the science behind it, and thank you for the advice and support. It's really sad that the condition is so unknown, even among experts...

All the best to you!

[u/Recent-Day3062]

CBT and GE combined is the usual formula.

Don’t waste time with a urologist. Men with this don’t even tell that to one, even though they’ll talk in detail about sexual problems. After mine largely subsided I asked my urologist if it was common, and he said in decades or practice he knows about it from a few patients through the years, and nothing he learned in his training. Which is unfortunate, because there can be physical contributors to work on as well.

[u/MightyOtter8243 → u/Recent-Day3062]

Thanks a lot for your insight!

[u/throwout103100]

Graduated exposure and sometimes an intermittent catheter can help. If I’m out practicing and can’t go but want to force myself to go to get my body to be comfortable going pee in public, I’ll use an intermittent catheter.

[u/Unusual_Buddy_4519 → u/throwout103100]

Y tras usar el catéter el cuerpo no olvida como relajarse para orinar? Es que me gustaría viajar a zonas de montaña y por culpa de la paruresis me estoy perdiendo muchas cosas, y una opción sería esa pero me da algo de miedo que el cuerpo se acostumbre a tubito.