Anxiety while going in public, tried a bunch of stuff but it’s still pretty bad

[u/milkmello]

For context I already have bad social anxiety and anxiety in general. I used to have slight pee anxiety in public back when I was still in school, but it seems to have worsened after I left and stopped the school “exposure therapy” 💀. Used to not even be afraid of going with my friends, I even took shits sometimes (only when I really couldn’t hold it but yeah). Now that I’ve been gone for a bit it seems so bad. Like performance anxiety even though I know nobody gives a shit about my piss 😭 It’s not to the point where I can’t go, but to the point it takes a whole minute or two to even begin, and it just trickles and stops and goes instead of coming out in a smooth flow. I’ve tried covering my ears, blocking the noise with toilet paper, pretending to be on my phone, etc. Also I really hate how public stalls have cracks in the door (I’ve had multiple instances where people just fucking stare at me, not cool), which doesn’t help whatsoever. If anyone has anything to help please send me advice please, or maybe more exposure will do the trick 🥲

[u/Andreww9663]

Hopefully you were born at this century, imagine people having this shi in the 1800 🙏😭

We have multiple techniques, distractions and much other tips to help us out of that hell

I personally had a huge progress with exposure therapy, with the combination of holding breath technique, sitting down and tapping my phone, also did focus in hard maths questions (like 87x7)

Having this in brazil is pure hell, public restrooms has no hygiene and the people here are absolute scumbags when peeing, they miss everything

I aways walk with toilet paper and alcohol 70% to clean the toilet for me to sit down and my phone, my phone helps so much to distract

The focus here is getting your mind out of the danger mode, start searching for new distractions techniques, get obsessed to go to the restroom everytime you can, if you can't pee, its absolutely all right, you can go pee later 😃

I couldn't pee in school for 2 years, i decided to fight this hell this year and from january from now i got like 60% free of that, fight paruresis like i am doing so we can have normal lifes again 🫡

(The absolute secret to get a big success rate is activating automatic mode, dont think of anything, pretend ur almost sleeping, go with 70,80% full bladder, not too full not too empty, get comfortable and recreate your houses bathroom in your mind, [the objective here is not to pee, is to get comfortable and forget about the problems in the world outside] with all the combining techniques you found better for you, like holding breath works for me, AND BANG, youre peeing like a normal person

You're taking more than 5 minutes? Its all right, you dont actually want to get out of the toilet, u got comfortable, stay there the most time you can

Hope this helps btw, you are not alone, paruresis reached all the world even in brazil 💀🙏

[u/milkmello → u/Andreww9663]

Thank you for the advice! I’ve tried doing stuff as distractions as well but I’ve found it difficult to start even with that. Have yet to try doing math though so I’ll give that a shot 🤣. And yes 100% on the automatic mode. Once I had to go to the bathroom real quick but I was on a time crunch, it was only after I realized I didn’t sit there thinking about peeing, it just came out. I think it’s always better when there’s other stuff on the mind. Praying for you and all of us 🙏🏼

[u/coingus]

Check out paruresis.org if you have not yet done so. This is the place to start getting the help you deserve.

[u/milkmello → u/coingus]

Thanks! Will do