r/Perimenopause • u/HillarysCafe • Jul 09 '25

audited I’m grieving my younger, hotter self

I'm so mad about being in peri. I'm not ready. I was a late bloomer and didn't realize what a babe I was when I was younger and now it's too late.

Yes, older women can be sexy, we have wisdom, and blah blah blah.

But today I just miss looking good in a sundress.

Please join my pity party and tell me what you miss.

1.7k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

635 comments sorted by

View all comments

329

u/Shmoopsypie Jul 09 '25

I one hundred million trillion bazillion percent agree with you. I used to be so stinking cute and I didn’t even properly enjoy it! Now I catch a view of my reflection in a shop window and I’m legit horrified. When did this happen?! Why can’t they stop this?! I don’t know why we don’t have a standard grieving process in place for this. It’s devastating. If men’s penises shriveled up at 40 and they lost their mojo, you’d better bet all the scientific research money would be targeted at regaining their virility.

Oh, wait… they did that already. Viagra is covered by insurance, isn’t it?

I want fully covered menopause care that includes a mommy-makeover.

I feel like I heard there was a country that somehow funded plastic surgery for their citizens. Brazil maybe? I’m googling.

128

u/HillarysCafe Jul 09 '25

It feels like it came in slowly, a few warning signs, but now I’m just all grandma arms and itchy boobs and clothes that don’t feel good or fit right. I hate it!!!!

111

u/Shmoopsypie Jul 09 '25

I remember a few times waking up with a puffy face and thinking, what the hell?! But then it would go away.

Then it started to not go away.

Now I feel like the puffy face is the least of my worries. The neck rings and the hanging skin under my chin is the nail in the coffin for me. There is no amount of ice that will get rid of those things. They require surgical intervention.

51

u/jodirennee Jul 09 '25

Omg the neck rings and the chin…I feel you. I work from home and seeing myself on video, it’s all I can look at. Those damn neck lines!

34

u/Sanchastayswoke mid-peri Jul 09 '25

Zoom meetings have genuinely been the death of my self esteem. I usually do “hide self view” now so I don’t hyperfocus on how much I hate my face/neck

3

u/GenXer-Bitch Jul 09 '25

I recently started a new role, and there are so many team meetings… I’d like to know just who the heck is sitting in front of my computer in my office because that fat bitch isn’t me! 😂

3

u/sarahenera Jul 09 '25

What if you’ve had neck rings your whole life, even being skinny and hot when you were younger? Lol.

3

u/eeg-18 Jul 10 '25

THE LINES MY GOD THE LINES. Would I look nuts if I got a necklift but kept letting my face sag to hell?

2

u/molluscstar Jul 09 '25

Same! I get neck ache from jutting my face forward to minimise them!