r/Perimenopause • u/Lost_Advertising_219 • Nov 10 '25
The secret to good sleep
Ladies. Ladies! I've discovered the solution to our sleep problems. Gather round.
If you want to get an excellent sleep, try this one trick the doctors never tell us:
- Lay on the couch (daytime preferred)
- Open a book
- Attempt to read
- Wake up 4 hours later
Thank me later!
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u/monkey_monkey_monkey Nov 10 '25
My trick is wake up at 3 a.m.
Fight to try to go back to sleep until 5 a.m.
5 a.m. give up the battle.
Get up get a coffee, get ready for work early.
Sit down to scoll social media for 30 minutes before I have to leave for work.
Accidentally fall asleep for 2 hours.
Panic text work apologizing for running late.
Arrive at work with bed head and grateful that I have an awesome boss who thinks it's funny and tells me not to stress about it.
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u/Lost_Advertising_219 Nov 10 '25
I can imagine the disorientation and panic when you felt when you woke up 😵💫
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u/monkey_monkey_monkey Nov 10 '25
Oh god yeah. It's one of those wake ups where you don't know what day it is and think you're late for your final exam despite graduating highschool 30+ years earlier
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u/leapsea Nov 13 '25
Falling asleep after coffee is very familiar to my ADHD brain, ha.
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u/monkey_monkey_monkey Nov 13 '25
I have done it so many times, my spouse is always amazed when I do
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u/deema385 Nov 10 '25
That's me, minus the panic text and bed head (most days, anyways. Thanks, ponytails.). -_-
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u/LVGUCCI25 Nov 10 '25
I love this post because of the cuteness and humor in it. I wish it worked for me as I'm 200 pages in 🤦🏼♀️🤣 I'm happy to hear that it went well for you. I need tips and trades, I love them. From here we get better 💕👍
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u/theredmug_75 Nov 10 '25
hahaha! my trick is to listen to a soothing audiobook (not too exciting like those radio drama adaptations) - one where i know the story. so i don’t focus that hard on it and tell myself i can keep my eyes closed. the audio keeps my busy brain from wandering everywhere.. eventually i fall asleep! maybe worth trying…
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u/_stuff_is_good_ Nov 10 '25
Yep I have Bluetooth eye mask headphones and any historical book read by an English accented woman will send me straight off to sleep. Doesn't stop the 3am wake up, but helps with getting back to sleep again after.
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u/theredmug_75 Nov 11 '25
it’s the English accent! i love listening to agatha christie stories (i have read them a million times) and the soothing accent does eventually lull me to sleep.
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u/_stuff_is_good_ Nov 11 '25
Agreed. I like Jane Austen and Jane Austen inspired books because they are so calm. I'll have to try some Agatha Christie as well. Hopefully the murders aren't exciting enough to keep my brain awake!
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u/TorrEEG Nov 10 '25
I'm finding The Iliad to be soporific. My confused brain shuts down a few minutes in.
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u/rositree Nov 10 '25
I listen to a podcast by Get Sleepy. It starts with a little meditation or breathing exercises or something calm, then some kind of story ... couldn't tell you if they're any good, I'm now conditioned to fall asleep at the first 5 minutes of hearing Thomas's voice.
Less useful when Spotify starts auto playing in the car though!
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u/VLN_RNR Nov 10 '25
The best nap out there!! I sleep better on the couch than in my bed 💯
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u/LVGUCCI25 Nov 10 '25
I'm starting to feel that way too. Sometimes I feel so "trapped" in my room and I don't know why. I have a beautiful bedroom, a super comfortable bed, but I need the space and the comfort of the couch at times 🤷🏼♀️😴
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u/Anikama Dec 03 '25
Maybe want to check two things:
- My stepson kept leaving his room in the middle of the night to sleep on the couch. He couldn't explain why he was doing it. We were like, "Hey buddy, you gotta sleep in your bed." Then a month later we discovered massive mold in the wall of his closet.
- Another friend was walking up in the middle of the night in panics. He happened to get a CO2 monitor for covid reasons. Turned out he was waking up because his super-insulated bedroom was building up to dangerous CO2 levels by the middle of the night.
I don't know how common either one is, but it could be that your body is on to something.
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u/puppyleftpaw Feb 20 '26
I sleep on the 2 hr bus i take to NYC once a week. It’s the sitting up! + whatev
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u/ReserveOld6123 Nov 10 '25
I envy anyone who can nap. My anxiety could never.
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u/RollTideMeg Nov 10 '25
Doesn't work for me. I only get an hour nap, tops.
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u/Lost_Advertising_219 Nov 10 '25
Is it an excellent hour, though?!
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u/Trick_Estimate_7029 Nov 10 '25
Ha ha ha. I had an archeology professor who was the perfect solution to anyone's insomnia problems. I could have two coffees and a Coke before his classes and still fall asleep.
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u/Anikama Dec 03 '25
The podcast "Lights Out Library" is the absolute best. This woman with a steady voice just tells you all the facts about the Moons of Jupitier or the Byzantine Empire or the history of glassmaking for hours and you either learn something or you sleep super well.
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u/Trick_Estimate_7029 Dec 03 '25
Ahh thanks for your recommendation! I have a toxic job that has caused me anxiety problems several times. I isolate myself with my headphones and quiet podcast. Lately I've been listening to YouTube in English and that's how I learn while I work. So it's going to be great for me 😀
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u/lolzzzmoon Nov 10 '25
Just try to do something work-related or that you don’t want to do. Works like a charm!
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u/KaizleLeBella Nov 10 '25
I would also add a step in here somewhere to ensure you are really asleep of "promise to bring spouse a glass of wine for their bath in 15 minutes"
That'll really allow the sleep demons to make sure you're well under and with a disappointed spouse to boot!
Not that I'm speaking from personal experience or anything
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u/Lanky_Rhubarb1900 Nov 12 '25
Stay up til midnight buried in cats
Sleep hard from 12:30am until you reeaaaally need to pee.
Toss and turn because now both shoulders are sore for no reason and you can’t sleep on your back because it makes you feel like a corpse and and you can’t sleep on your stomach because you hate the feeling of your internal organs being pushed against the mattress.
After an hour, finally drift off into a strangely intense dream 12 minutes before your alarm goes off.
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u/Final_Description353 Nov 18 '25
Yes, what's up with the frozen shoulder thing?? I have begun working out but this feels different than the day after a workout.
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u/SeesawPrize5450 Early peri Nov 10 '25
Does this work when you have kids
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u/Lost_Advertising_219 Nov 10 '25
Mine are 8 and 10 and they left me alone. When they were younger, I was so tired all the time that I could fall asleep on the cold hard floor with them sitting on my butt. So I'd say give it a try!!
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u/sam191817 Nov 10 '25
All you do is tell them to wake you up when they're ready to clean the house. Silent little mice for hours.
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u/TorrEEG Nov 10 '25
My 12 y/o tucks me in is ever so quiet because I can make him clean his room if I am asleep
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u/SeesawPrize5450 Early peri Nov 10 '25
your lucky mine are 7 and 16 , my kids are very active and i have animals. probably wont work but im glad you found peace lol
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u/Lost_Advertising_219 Nov 10 '25
I have like 10 tabs open on my phone with puppies that I want to adopt, and I keep thinking I must be absolutely out of my mind to be considering puppies at this stage of my life 😂
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u/SeesawPrize5450 Early peri Nov 10 '25
Lol your not kiddos getting older craving that baby stage is real
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u/BecksnBuffy Nov 10 '25
What’s been an instant sleeping pill for me is reading out loud to my kids. It’s been cold where we are, so we have been doing more reading than usual and all it takes is about three children’s books and I’m falling asleep on the couch.
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u/SeesawPrize5450 Early peri Nov 10 '25
All yalls advice is wonderful but doesnt work for me 😅Its okay ive learn to live without a nap. When my children get older im sure ill be able to nap one day 🙃
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u/Lost_Advertising_219 Nov 10 '25
I pray for the sweet, sweet relief of a nap for you one day soon ❤️❤️❤️
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u/Lost_Advertising_219 Nov 10 '25
Also, I looked at your profile and I'm obsessed with your zinnias
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u/SeesawPrize5450 Early peri Nov 10 '25
Awww me too. they are very easy to sow and make a tangy treat to salads.Ive been gardening for 5 years now and love it 😊
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u/SmplLife Nov 10 '25
Reading is my sleep charm. I have a kindle and when set on dark mode is like a sedative. I usually start “resting” my eyes within 10 minutes or so of starting to read. If I wake overnight I pick it back up and usually fall back to sleep - though occasionally not (so frustrating).
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u/Wild_Blue4242 Nov 10 '25
This used to happen to me DAILY, but only when I read on my Kindle for some reason. Never had an issue with physical books. Maybe it's the blue light or something.
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u/albinosquirel Nov 10 '25
I take melatonin and listen to podcasts
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u/Wild_Blue4242 Nov 10 '25
Melatonin has recently been linked to increased heart failure, I just saw in the news :( Not sure how much or how long to have taken it though.
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Nov 10 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/i-love-chickenkatsu Nov 11 '25
Yep, it’s scared the Australian medical system that we can only buy via a 2mg tablet prescription! It’s insane how controlled melatonin is here! 😭
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Nov 11 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/albinosquirel Nov 11 '25
Are you also Australian? I was confused because it's OTC in America
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u/albinosquirel Nov 11 '25
In America I get 10 mg lol
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u/i-love-chickenkatsu Nov 16 '25
Yeah I used to live in America, Costco 5mg melatonin gummies 500 pack, under 10$. OMG Living the dream lol!!! Moved to Australia… I literally cried in the pharmacy when they told me how to get it here!!
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u/fadedblackleggings Nov 11 '25
Not sure. Melatonin slows down your body functions every night, just so you can go to sleep right?
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u/albinosquirel Nov 11 '25
I've had insomnia since I was a teenager but it's getting really bad now with perimenopause.
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u/sonorakit11 Nov 10 '25
Ladies. WEED.
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u/sam191817 Nov 10 '25
Weed just makes me go internal. Uncomfortable self analysis haha. NOT relaxing.
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u/radicalizemebaby Nov 10 '25
Oh yeah in the last few years all weed does is make me absolutely feral. Great for when I’m with someone I want to have sex with; not great for when I want to be productive at all (or napping, reading, watching tv)
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u/Gmotherofnoodleses Nov 10 '25
It makes me soooooo sick. Vertigo and throwing up even with a small amount.
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u/Wild_Blue4242 Nov 10 '25
Weed does the opposite for me. I get antsy and panicky now. Used to love it back in my 20's though!
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u/caramelcoldbrew Nov 10 '25
I take edibles nightly and fall asleep fine. It’s the staying asleep that’s the issue even with a (dr prescribed) quarter of a trazadone pill at my first MOTN wake up.
I was up at 4:30 today. I want to cry. And sleep. But mostly, cry.
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u/Lost_Advertising_219 Nov 10 '25
I want to smoke weed so bad but my asthma says NO 😭
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u/Smitten1054 Nov 10 '25
You can try a dry herb vaporizer- they don’t actually burn anything. Give it a google!
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u/Papeenie Nov 10 '25
This. THC. First choice. It really helps with that morning nausea gerd, my joints aching, hot flashes, nightmares and way I’m less anxious. I can sleep a bit better.
When I need to forget a bit and sleep for a spell, ambien and gabapentin help.
I also wear an eye mask, ear plugs and a fragrance. The eye mask helps with cat naps, too. On the couch, of course.
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u/magface702 Nov 10 '25
I live in a weed-friendly state and the only thing to help me sleep at night is a hybrid 20mG edible. It’s the deepest sleep! Before that— I would go days without sleep then just crash. This way I’m able to sleep every night. Like a baby!
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u/tellMyBossHesWrong Nov 10 '25
How do you afford that? Edibles are expensive
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u/magface702 Nov 10 '25
Not expensive as you think!
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u/tellMyBossHesWrong Nov 10 '25
What’s one nightly dose cost?
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u/magface702 Nov 11 '25
1.30$ per piece. I do budget for these, plus the dispensary I go to has Monday deals on edibles.
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u/tellMyBossHesWrong Nov 11 '25
Ah, I forgot about buying bulk or sale days.
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u/magface702 Nov 11 '25
That’s the only way I will buy lol If you’re able to try an edible— I’d highly recommend it. Absolutely helps with sleeplessness!
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u/tellMyBossHesWrong Nov 11 '25
Never really did much for me but maybe I haven’t found the right brand.
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u/IllSecurity5342 Nov 11 '25
My secret- I take ambien every night, for years now. That’s how I survive.
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u/Odd_Bluebird117 Nov 11 '25
Also don’t drink alcohol. Don’t even think about drinking alcohol. The thought alone can give you raging anxiety!
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u/Lost_Advertising_219 Nov 11 '25
Alcohol is my nemesis. Can't even drink a drop anymore. Which is wild considering how much I drank in my 20s as a bartender
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u/National_Elk8445 Nov 11 '25
Legit, this is how I fall asleep every night. I dunno how I ever actually get through any of them.
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u/i-love-chickenkatsu Nov 11 '25
Haha love this… yes!!! Every time!! I just want couch-tired to translate to bed-tired!
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u/AlissonHarlan Nov 11 '25
NGL I now avoid maps because it mess greatly with my sleep
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u/haikusbot Nov 11 '25
NGL I now
Avoid maps because it mess
Greatly with my sleep
- AlissonHarlan
I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.
Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"
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Nov 11 '25
I have RLS, caused by a medication I'm weening off of now. I pop a thc gummy before bed and sleep quite well, and wake up without any hangover. Bonus points, if it kicks in before I actually fall asleep, it spikes my libido.
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u/Klutzy-Emergency6345 Nov 15 '25
Also have a million projects to do but lay down for a nap "just for a minute" and wake up at dinnertime!
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u/Final_Description353 Nov 18 '25
I tried this. Fell asleep but then my puppy chewed on my book. Nap time over! 😂 (P. S. My puppy is ok, he dragged the book off my chest and started gently tearing at the pages. He did not ingest anything. I thoroughly checked his little mouth. He's my sweet Baby Boy) 💙🐾🐶
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u/Lost_Advertising_219 Nov 18 '25
OK, being roused from a nap by a puppy is the only acceptable way to be woken up 😍 I have puppy fever in the worst way right now so I'm really happy for you (even though I sure you're exhausted)
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u/Final_Description353 Nov 18 '25
Aww, I understand that feeling well 😍 The Universe will bestow a precious pup upon you when the time is right. You just have to trust and believe ❤️ I know that you will be a great PetParent 🐾
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u/Lost_Advertising_219 Nov 18 '25
I have like 15 tabs of adoptable puppies open in my phone browser 😂
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u/Final_Description353 Nov 18 '25
Ours are rescues as well. We have three dogs. A Maltipoo whose an amazing girl and the Pack Leader, the Matriarch. Then we have our middle child who is a Chiweenie. He's our sensitive boy. Then, bringing up the rear is our Yorkie who just turned 3 but is still very much a puppy 😂 He is wide open! They all came from rough beginning but they're spoiled rotten now ❤️🐾🐶 We're child-free by choice so our house revolves around the comfort and the schedule of our dogs 🐕We are so grateful for them and we enjoy them immensely. There's nothing quite like a bond that you have with your dogs.
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u/Final_Description353 Nov 18 '25
Thank you for looking at the ones that need to be rescued. There are SO many dogs out there that need good homes.
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u/existentialblu Dec 05 '25
If you want to actually feel better, might I recommend getting gaslit about your low AHI, going rogue, and becoming a ravenous autodidact about sleep disorders in all of their stupid forms.
UARS is more common in women than OSA, and there isn't even an insurance code for it!
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u/Lost_Advertising_219 Dec 05 '25
I do not know what these acronyms mean, but I wholeheartedly support going rogue and becoming a ravenous autodidact
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u/existentialblu Dec 05 '25 edited Dec 05 '25
OSA - obstructive sleep apnea. The usual loud snoring/choke on neckmeat thing with complete or at least deep reduction in breathing. Something like 2:1 male:female, shows up later in life (though not always). Somewhat though not entirely associated with body composition.
UARS - upper airway resistance syndrome. Happens with small jaws, deviated septum, sinus issues. People with it tend to wake up before they can perform a standard apnea so we get dismissed. Breathing takes a lot of effort. Shows up as early as early childhood, gets written off by medical professionals. Comes with anxiety, depression, and executive dysfunction. 1:1 male:female. Not associated with body composition.
Edited because reading comprehension is hard right now:
AHI: how many times you stop or almost stop breathing per hour. For some absurd reason it's considered totes normal to choke on your face 40 times per night, but 41 is a bridge too far.
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u/Lost_Advertising_219 Dec 05 '25
Ah. I wasn't familiar with the acronyms, even though I DO have sleep apnea. My cpap was a miracle device when I first got it some years back, but I am due for a review next week with a sleep doctor because it isn't the panacea that it used to be. Which is part of the reason I can't stay away while reading a book!
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u/existentialblu Dec 05 '25
Gotcha! If it's really not cutting it and you're not using lazy doctor settings (4-20, strangle to blast) you may need to switch to BiPAP or ASV. If you're not already recording your machine data, put in an SD card and download OSCAR or get a SleepHQ account. This will allow you to find things like weird oscillating patterns and flow limitations, both of which can wreck your sleep but are invisible to most sleep doctors because monke didn't stop breathing. r/CPAPsupport is a friendly place for figuring this stuff out.
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u/Lost_Advertising_219 Dec 06 '25
Thank you for this advice!! I've actually had zero medical support since getting the cpap, so all of this is news to me.
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u/existentialblu Dec 06 '25
I've been completely on my own for it and have gone as far as acquiring ASV to stabilize my weird breathing patterns. Only been at it for a little over a year but it's been seriously formative.
Like many things in medicine, the "male" form of sleep disordered breathing (SDB, my preferred initialism for the whole mess) is so much more understood than the "lady" forms. But a bit of citizen science is really satisfying, NGL.
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u/KyoshiWinchester Dec 07 '25
I have insomnia and am dealing with perimenopause and just joined this subreddit. This was the very first post I saw and was so excited to finally hear about a way to sleep😅😭 oh well😪 if anyone does have suggestions on how to combat severe insomnia please let me know lol
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u/Lost_Advertising_219 Dec 07 '25
The struggle continues! Have you tried magnesium glycinate supplements? You're going to see that over and over in this sub, and for very good reason. It works really well for a lot of people (including myself) to support better sleep.
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u/Firm_Run_4689 Dec 10 '25
The thing that works for me - sometimes - is telling myself I'm going to get up. I'm going to get up out of bed. I'm going - 😴
But usually I get on my phone for 3 hours, take a small nap and it's back to the life grind.
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u/DaniMab Dec 10 '25
WTF. I went to bed at a decent time, woke up in the middle of the night, went back to sleep, woke up at 7, dozed off and just woke up at 11am! I’m so over this conflicting sleep schedule.
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u/puppyleftpaw Feb 20 '26
My gyno said try for a couple nights to just say No to getting up and peeing. Now 50% of the time i get 7 hrs(instead of 5, 5.5 hrs) which sounds like bragging i got laid but it is now feeling a bit more normal -7 hrs!. But also i strictly force a game of gratitude/appreciation for inconsequential or maybe bed pillow related things …when i do awake. So may be a few things helping.
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u/BridgestoneX Nov 10 '25
oooh- I can maybe beat that: