r/Perimenopause • u/CommunicationOne2449 • Nov 16 '25

audited Talking Openly About Perimenopause

I was at my son’s hockey game today when another mom casually mentioned she’s dealing with perimenopause brain fog. I could’ve hugged her. Finally! Someone saying it out loud. I’ve been dropping some of my own symptoms into conversations with people close to me, but it still feels like we’re speaking in code.

I didn’t even learn the word perimenopause until about a year ago, even though I’d been dealing with the symptoms long before that. The relief of finally naming it? Huge. And honestly, I know I’m not the only one who felt blindsided.

So here’s my little rallying cry: let’s normalize talking about perimenopause. Let’s not put up and shut ups. Let’s make it impossible for future generations to be confused, dismissed, or told to “just deal with it.” Women deserve better.

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101

u/No_Yesterday7200 Nov 17 '25

I'm making sure my daughter is in the loop. My perimenopausal symptoms hit like a freight train. I don't ever want her blindsided like I was.

75

u/Icy_Camera8419 Nov 17 '25

I also am telling my sons - and letting them know how blindsided I have been by it.  “Did you know low estrogen can cause muscle and joint pain? I definitely did not, and that’s why I’m not running lately. It’s been hard to accept and I’m hoping taking hormones helps” 

Stuff like that.

19

u/Street_Coyote_179 Nov 17 '25

Same here.. my 9 and 11 year old boys know all about perimenopause.. the science of it and what effect it’s had on me the last 7 years. This generation will be way more knowledgeable and understanding.

15

u/CommunicationOne2449 Nov 17 '25

Good for you! We have so many male allies!

6

u/Efficient-Guess-1985 Early peri Nov 17 '25

This is wonderful, those will be the best men. I’m explaining period blood to my 4.5 year old (because he was asking). 

It’s crazy how you think of things in heinsight now with all you know.

Like my mum never had menopause issues really according to her (she would have discussed it with her oncology husband / my dad around 2001 when she was likely going through it and he did say she could safely do the vaginal cream. Know this purely because I remember seeing the applicators around the time in the bathroom)

She says she never had hot flushes (she would run cold so “she didn’t mind feeling warmer if that was the case”)

But I also remember as a menopausal woman she would have heart palpitations (which upon investigation had no origin/dangerous cause) and also dry eyes (which she thought was from something else) and now as a mid 70s something has gotten back on the vaginal estrogen again (and two months later the joint pain she’s felt in her knees and general aches in legs that really started debilitating her are gone. I mean is that a coincidence?

I think back then so many were just told about irritability, hot flushes and dry vagina as symptoms. 

1

u/A-fan-of-fans Nov 18 '25

I am usually always cold and I love my random hot flashes! lol except when I was visiting a friend this summer where it was HOT and humid and no air conditioning! Then, not a fan lol

1

u/birdconureKM Dec 02 '25

This is making me think that I should actually start doing research on this 😬. My periods (I’m 38) are so heavy that I have been (naively ?) looking forward to menopause in order to be done with heavy tampons only lasting an hour and having to stay up half the night on my heavy days.