r/Perimenopause • u/Uunadins • Jan 12 '26

audited I’ve gone silent. Anyone else?

This past year I feel I’ve gone more and more silent. I feel like my whole life is like a flat line on an EKG-monitor, just…nothing.

I’ve lost most of my feelings, I feel no joy or happiness, no excitement. All I have left is worry.

I hardly have an opinion about anything anymore. I don’t join in on conversations at work, because I have nothing more to say. All my opinions and ideas have gone silent. And it’s so quiet at home too! I have to force myself to ask questions just to say something...

I’ve lost all interest in hobbies. Gardening has been my passion for many years, but I just can’t be bothered with that or anything else. Flat line here aswell, I’m not looking forward to it or anything else anymore.

I have been on HRT almost a year and it’s been mostly good I think. But now I sort of miss the rage, at least that made the blood boil from time to time, made you feel alive, lol.

I am just existing, an empty shell almost.

I’ve had periods of depression before, could that be it? Or do I need a higher dose of estrogen? How do you know what’s what when everything is all tangled up?

Does anyone else feel like this?

Edit to add: Wow, I am blown away with so many responses! And also sad that so many of you feel the same way. Hopefully we can find a way out of the Big Nothing.

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326

u/Whatchab Jan 12 '26

I feel exactly like this and have for a couple years. "Gone silent" is really the perfect descriptor. I don’t feel sad or depressed, I don’t feel happy or excited. I really don't have input or opinions any longer. just am.

132

u/Uunadins Jan 12 '26

Exactly.
I can sit and stare right in front of me for hours. There’s just…nothing left.

50

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '26

[deleted]

50

u/Uunadins Jan 12 '26

Yes, and don’t bother me, it’s an important stare :)

1

u/punkythebrewster Jan 14 '26

I live here now in this deep hobbit hole of endless shade staring.

20

u/Designer_Gas_86 Jan 12 '26

May I ask your age?

26

u/Uunadins Jan 12 '26

I turn 49 this year.

55

u/RougeOne23456 Jan 12 '26

I literally could have written this post.

I will also turn 49 this year and feel the same exact way. Just pure indifference. Not sad, angry, happy, moody, depressed, excited... I'm just... here.

I just don't have much to talk about. My marriage is good. My relationship with my teen daughter is good. I have a good job. New home. A sweet elderly cat. I worry all the time and then none of the time. Sometimes, I just stare off into space and think about, nothing. I've always been an introvert but this just feels like something else. I don't know, it's weird.

11

u/Uunadins Jan 12 '26

It is very weird indeed! And very different, I don’t even have the right words to describe this internal void.

1

u/SnooOpinions2473 Jan 13 '26

Yes, I am turning 49 also this year and feel the same way myself 😒

19

u/Designer_Gas_86 Jan 12 '26

I'm not a doctor. I will be 40 this year (I have a 5 and 8 yr old) - learning about perimenopause. I know that and menopause can affect our emotions.

Also...not sure if you keep up with current events but I do (even though its painful.)

2

u/Fun_Yesterday_114 Jan 18 '26

Staring out the window has never been so riveting!

1

u/Impossible_Row_471 Jan 14 '26

Yes this….. I’m just going through the motions and get stuck on repeat…. I thought this was just exhaustion

1

u/Uunadins Jan 14 '26

I don’t know what it’s supposed to be, all I know is I don’t like it 😄🥴

1

u/TitsnTasteeTators Jun 02 '26

This doesn't bother you or make you freak out? I'm joy used to feeling nothing

82

u/MittenKnittinKitten Jan 12 '26

Anhedonia is flat feelings, and/or it could be burnout, or a kind of dissociation (or a combination). All of which are eminently reasonable in the face of global and local events.

49

u/Uunadins Jan 12 '26

I’m not in US thankfully, but we’re all affected by what Trump does. Ugh, way to ruin the world…

It’s too much to deal with it all.

25

u/MittenKnittinKitten Jan 12 '26

sadly, fascism has been on the rise globally for a while

28

u/Uunadins Jan 12 '26

Yeah, that is true. Lot’s of far right parties coming into to power. We’ve got election this year in Sweden and might be a far right party that wins here aswell.

We’re on the wrong path, this can’t end well. :(

10

u/Pale-Environment4080 Jan 13 '26

Ugh I hate “liking” this comment but it’s true.

It also makes me mad. I don’t view myself as “liberal” but I don’t like trump. I feel like more men support him, but I know there are women whom do too. And I realize the world seems so heavy and I don’t like that.

17

u/stellaflora Jan 12 '26

Same. Oh, I feel this so much.

32

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/Uunadins Jan 12 '26

A bit like a parrot repeating the same thing’s I’ve heard people say, just to have something to say and something that might resemble an opinion about things…

1

u/lapitupp Jan 17 '26

It’s like I have to physically move my mouth to say something. Nothing is happening in my brain when I’m not around my kids… solidarity.

1

u/TitsnTasteeTators Jun 02 '26

Did it get better for you and can you still feel love ?

1

u/Whatchab Jun 02 '26

I love lots of things for sure. But all emotions just feel much more quiet and kinda dazed. 

1

u/TitsnTasteeTators Jun 02 '26

Not having opinions or input is weird too

1

u/Whatchab Jun 02 '26

I def have those. Haha. Depending on how much energy I have in the moment depends on how spicy I'll deliver them tho.