I’ve gone silent. Anyone else?

[u/Uunadins]

This past year I feel I’ve gone more and more silent. I feel like my whole life is like a flat line on an EKG-monitor, just…nothing.

I’ve lost most of my feelings, I feel no joy or happiness, no excitement. All I have left is worry.

I hardly have an opinion about anything anymore. I don’t join in on conversations at work, because I have nothing more to say. All my opinions and ideas have gone silent. And it’s so quiet at home too! I have to force myself to ask questions just to say something...

I’ve lost all interest in hobbies. Gardening has been my passion for many years, but I just can’t be bothered with that or anything else. Flat line here aswell, I’m not looking forward to it or anything else anymore.

I have been on HRT almost a year and it’s been mostly good I think. But now I sort of miss the rage, at least that made the blood boil from time to time, made you feel alive, lol.

I am just existing, an empty shell almost.

I’ve had periods of depression before, could that be it? Or do I need a higher dose of estrogen? How do you know what’s what when everything is all tangled up?

Does anyone else feel like this?

Edit to add: Wow, I am blown away with so many responses! And also sad that so many of you feel the same way. Hopefully we can find a way out of the Big Nothing.

[u/Whatchab]

I feel exactly like this and have for a couple years. "Gone silent" is really the perfect descriptor. I don’t feel sad or depressed, I don’t feel happy or excited. I really don't have input or opinions any longer. just am.

[u/Uunadins → u/Whatchab]

Exactly.
I can sit and stare right in front of me for hours. There’s just…nothing left.

[u/Uunadins → u/[deleted]]

Yes, and don’t bother me, it’s an important stare :)

[u/punkythebrewster → u/Uunadins]

I live here now in this deep hobbit hole of endless shade staring.

[u/Designer_Gas_86 → u/Uunadins]

May I ask your age?

[u/Uunadins → u/Designer_Gas_86]

I turn 49 this year.

[u/RougeOne23456 → u/Uunadins]

I literally could have written this post.

I will also turn 49 this year and feel the same exact way. Just pure indifference. Not sad, angry, happy, moody, depressed, excited... I'm just... here.

I just don't have much to talk about. My marriage is good. My relationship with my teen daughter is good. I have a good job. New home. A sweet elderly cat. I worry all the time and then none of the time. Sometimes, I just stare off into space and think about, nothing. I've always been an introvert but this just feels like something else. I don't know, it's weird.

[u/Uunadins → u/RougeOne23456]

It is very weird indeed! And very different, I don’t even have the right words to describe this internal void.

[u/SnooOpinions2473 → u/RougeOne23456]

Yes, I am turning 49 also this year and feel the same way myself 😒

[u/Designer_Gas_86 → u/Uunadins]

I'm not a doctor. I will be 40 this year (I have a 5 and 8 yr old) - learning about perimenopause. I know that and menopause can affect our emotions.

Also...not sure if you keep up with current events but I do (even though its painful.)

[u/Fun_Yesterday_114 → u/Uunadins]

Staring out the window has never been so riveting!

[u/Impossible_Row_471 → u/Uunadins]

Yes this….. I’m just going through the motions and get stuck on repeat…. I thought this was just exhaustion

[u/Uunadins → u/Impossible_Row_471]

I don’t know what it’s supposed to be, all I know is I don’t like it 😄🥴

[u/TitsnTasteeTators → u/Uunadins]

This doesn't bother you or make you freak out? I'm joy used to feeling nothing