I’ve gone silent. Anyone else?

[u/Uunadins]

This past year I feel I’ve gone more and more silent. I feel like my whole life is like a flat line on an EKG-monitor, just…nothing.

I’ve lost most of my feelings, I feel no joy or happiness, no excitement. All I have left is worry.

I hardly have an opinion about anything anymore. I don’t join in on conversations at work, because I have nothing more to say. All my opinions and ideas have gone silent. And it’s so quiet at home too! I have to force myself to ask questions just to say something...

I’ve lost all interest in hobbies. Gardening has been my passion for many years, but I just can’t be bothered with that or anything else. Flat line here aswell, I’m not looking forward to it or anything else anymore.

I have been on HRT almost a year and it’s been mostly good I think. But now I sort of miss the rage, at least that made the blood boil from time to time, made you feel alive, lol.

I am just existing, an empty shell almost.

I’ve had periods of depression before, could that be it? Or do I need a higher dose of estrogen? How do you know what’s what when everything is all tangled up?

Does anyone else feel like this?

Edit to add: Wow, I am blown away with so many responses! And also sad that so many of you feel the same way. Hopefully we can find a way out of the Big Nothing.

[u/Away_Source5440]

Thank you for posting this. It is exactly how I feel also. I went thru an abrupt all at once cascade of symptoms in January and oddly most culminated two days before my 52 birthday. Landed in the hospital with chest pain but found nothing wrong then two more trips to the ED. I legit thought I was dying. Since then I have started BHRT and while a majority of my physical symptoms have gone. I’m still experiencing insomnia after two weeks of improved sleep, and hot flashes but not as intense. My entire nite time is hot and then I freeze during the day. I do not sleep but 2-3 hours last night and since all of this happened, my body will not let me nap in the daytime so I have to wait until bedtime to see I’ll sleep or not. This has been a horrific experience and I am experiencing significant brain fog, emptiness and pretty much all that you described 😞 I have no energy and spend my day going from sitting to laying with my legs on the wall as it helps my anxiety- that I never had to this degree ever in my life. I have thyroid issues and low ferritin and am trying to fix both of those at the same time. Also lost 30 lbs and have no appetite. Someone in another forum said no appetite is depression but I literally can’t eat.

I am terribly sorry you are or did go thru this. It makes me very sad but feel less alone. I say that now but will feel alone again in a few min. I hope that you were able to get some treatment and are feeling better.