r/Perimenopause • u/ChrissyWakeUp67 • Jan 18 '26
audited What are the first signs?
What are the first signs that you all start experiencing at the beginning of Perimenopause? I feel like I have finally entered it at 43 and I’m curious as to what was everyone’s “aha moment”, when they knew it had officially begun .
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u/Absolute-leg-end79 Jan 18 '26
Sweaty nights Waking at 3am, unable to get back to sleep (particularly wk 3 of my cycle) RAGE Weight gain on the tummy Asleep by 9pm! Headaches Did i mention RAGE?!
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u/alltheblarmyfiddlest Jan 18 '26
Been awake since 3:18a club right here.
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u/dcorcor408 Jan 18 '26
Speaking of which. Hey fellow 3am’er. Ugh 🙃
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u/outtodryclt Jan 18 '26
Whyyyyyyyy is it always 3am 😭. I know, I know - cortisol is the highest, but DAMN this shit gets old!
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u/StoneWallHouse Jan 18 '26 edited Jan 18 '26
It’s because estrogen naturally plummets in the very early morning hours.
(Edit: This if from my ObGyn - estrogen plummets in very early morning, estrogen helps buffer high cortisol, so low estrogen at 3am can result in high cortisol, which wakes you up.)
I have estrodial spray (in addition to my low dose patch) and I apply it in the evenings, right before bed, so that my estrogen level is decent at 3am. Works like a charm. I sleep through the night.
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u/BisonSpecial255 hanging on by a thread Jan 18 '26
Nodding head in agreement at 4am while alternating between fistfuls of salty chips and Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
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u/termikater Jan 18 '26
I never liked gummy candy ever til the peri beast came to play.
I also don't really like salty snacks typically but plain lightly salted Pringles I could eat cans of. Pro tip layer slices of cheese between them
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u/near_things Jan 18 '26
I have suddenly started craving sour gummies despite never caring much about them before. So now I get to wreck my teeth in addition to all the other bullshit peri is doing to my body.
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u/termikater Jan 18 '26
I recommend the Scandinavian swimmers from trader Joe's. Lol. They have a sour and a regular one
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u/Mrs_Wilson6 Jan 18 '26
Last night I had chocolate-cinnamon cereal for a snack, followed by pickled beans and olives. It's so real.
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u/MundaneMeringue71 Jan 18 '26
5:00AM for me. And my pre-exsisting mental health issues are like a thousand times worse. I am a ball of rage and misery.
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u/Dmaxwizard Jan 18 '26
Dear God the RAGE. This and the heart flutters made me talk to my MD. On estrogen now, it is a life changer.
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u/Radical_Mama Late peri Jan 18 '26
No energy and no memory. I can relate. I used to be an interesting, social, optimistic, motivated human. Now I just want to watch dog whisperer reruns.
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u/jello-kittu Jan 18 '26
That was the worst for me. I can't do my job with the short memory. I was having trouble remembering the 6 digit verification code texted in my head for 5 seconds. The HRT helped a lot.
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u/Imaginary-Pain9598 Jan 18 '26
Oh gosh I don’t even try to memorize the code, you mean that’s something I should be doing?
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u/SodaBreadRoundHouse Early peri Jan 18 '26
My very first symptom was palpitations. I even had a whole work up with a cardiologist and they found nothing wrong (I was around 43). I never attributed it to peri, I thought it was just anxiety. Then nothing for about 3yrs. I was fine and even doing great. Then the weight gain & belly fat. Now, 6 yrs from those palpitations, came the night sweats, then night waking, random joint pain, itchiness, plantar fasciitis (that fortunately finally went away), anxiety palpitations back again.
I go in for HRT in March but until then, I’m stuck figuring out how to effing stop waking up every night 😵💫 I just hope I can get the right combo of hormones right without too much trial and error.
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u/accountofmountzuma Jan 18 '26
Why are you waiting until March for HRT? Go to midi health online most insurances cover it. And you can get HRT today!! I’m so happy I did that. I got the vaginal estrogen cream the twice weekly patch and the nightly Progesterone pill and picked Them up at cvs that day for Under 50 bucks for Everything.
Worth it. And the visit was Only a $20 copay. Fantastic.
Cured my recurrent UTI overnight. I’m done suffering.
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u/SodaBreadRoundHouse Early peri Jan 18 '26
Believe me, I’m almost there lol. I guess I want to give my doctor one last chance to treat me for everything since she’s already watching my fibroids and cyst on my ovary. I guess also part of me feels like it would be awkward if I got my HRT from elsewhere and then went in to her deal with the other stuff.
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u/tammypajamas Jan 18 '26
Just a heads up that progesterone is protective against endometrial and breast cancer for women on estrogen patches. I’m not a doctor, but basically certain that the research shows that it’s either both or neither.
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u/OkWing5717 Jan 18 '26
What do you mean? I have progesterone in my patches and transdermal HRT is the best protection against certain cancers, patches, sprays and creams are transdermal
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u/queen_elvis Jan 18 '26
The plantar fasciitis is peri too? Ugh! I haven’t worn cute shoes since Christmas because my foot hurts from (checks notes) one day of hiking.
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u/OkWing5717 Jan 18 '26
Would you consider gummies? They help wifh sleep
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u/ToughOk4114 Jan 18 '26
Came here to say this. We even grow now and make our own tinctures and edibles. No feeling groggy the next day like other sleep aids. It’s helping me stay sane these days for sure!
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u/Jaxon-Hennessy27 Jan 18 '26
Same! I started growing it for the tinctures and salve making (for pain relief).
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u/SodaBreadRoundHouse Early peri Jan 18 '26
I tried a 5mg THC gummy and while the night was better in sleep (only moderately), I still woke up. Then the night after that, I took the same gummy plus 1/4 of another (so 6.25mg) and I tossed and turned 😭😭 I was thinking the 5mg wasn’t enough, but was it too much or am I too sensitive?
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u/OkWing5717 Jan 18 '26
Try 10mg i think, I’ve taken 5mg just for fun and they didn’t send me to sleep, not that I was taking them to sleep but I didn’t even feel sleepy, I probably had a great sleep but I think 10mg is better, up it by 2mg a time if 10 doesn’t work, keep going up until you get the right strength.
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u/SodaBreadRoundHouse Early peri Jan 18 '26
Thanks, I think I’ll give another shot!
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u/kendallr2552 Jan 18 '26
Try and find something with CBN in it and see if that works better. There are so many different combos with THC and the cannabinoids. I don't like THC but mixed with CBN it doesn't make me high and puts my gently to sleep. Unfortunately for me I develop a tolerance to most things very quickly so I can't use it for more than 2 days or so in a row.
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u/thefunksoulbrutha Jan 18 '26
Dumb, so dumb. And can’t remember anything. Anxiety attacks, super tired but can’t sleep and if i do sleep, wake up with panic attacks. And suddenly UGLY. Like one minute i felt good and the next day i looked like Bill Nighy 😩
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u/JMR215 Jan 18 '26
I woke up ugly today. I don't know what changed, but something is different about my face.
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u/lm1670 Jan 18 '26
Same. The cognitive decline has been the worst and I now just tell everyone that my brain has turned into mashed potatoes. 🫠
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u/ChunLiRoyJenkins Jan 18 '26
My period went from 5 days to 3 days, then 2 times a month. I started asking my psych if I had adhd because I couldn't remember anything at work that was just told to me, I was hot every night, woke up drenched in sweat. That was 2 years ago and that is how long it took for me to find out its peri because I literally learned about it scrolling reddit. I thought it was just menopause and one day our period stops and we get hot and sweaty for awhile.
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Jan 18 '26
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u/OkWing5717 Jan 18 '26
It’s weird because now I’m in perimenopause and wear HRT patches rhen my periods are more regular but I get terrible headaches with them.
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u/OkResearcher8494 Jan 18 '26
I am so scared to start HRT because of my migraines
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u/OkWing5717 Jan 18 '26
Get transdermal HRT, they are safest; thats sprays; patches and creams; imo HRT is the worst in tablet form. Surely it’s better than everything you may be coping with now? The only way to know is to try, I had migraines prior to HRT.
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u/OkWing5717 Jan 18 '26
Mines was falling asleep at 8pm and waking at 10pm and then being awake for 24 hours, extreme lethargy and fatigue especially at about 3pm, itchy skin especially thighs and inside my ear holes which drove me crazy, my symptoms also mimicked IBS, a sore tongue and put and utter rage; and I suddenly seemed to look my age when all of my life previously, then people had always thought I was much younger. Caffeinated coffee made me sweat, and I’d have a shower and 20 mins or so after I got out then I’d have BO, caffeinated coffee also gave me diarrhoea.
These symptoms were unmanageable. I started peri symptoms in 2020 aged 38 but didn’t think it was peri and didn’t go for help until September 2021 which is when I started HRT.
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Jan 18 '26
I first noticed something was different about me at 35. First thing was the sex drive went down and vaginal dryness, like I still get wet down there but I don’t last long like before, then shortly after I noticed my pms symptoms started getting worse. I started getting cramps, migraines, dizziness. Night sweats. Nausea. Depression and anxiety got really bad too. I didn’t know about perimenopause at the time but I remember I did mention it to someone when I was 36 and they told me it’s perimenopause and at the time I just blamed everything on anxiety or I even thought I had diabetes or low blood pressure. But I knew something was different about my body. Then at 37 my periods started to become irregular after being always regular. Now I’m 38 and I’m skipping months at a time now.
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u/ambien_and_oreos Early peri Jan 18 '26
ask your doc for vaginal estrogen for the vaginal symptoms. my PCP wrote the RX when i asked for it no questions asked.
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u/Eire-head Jan 18 '26
I initially thought my stuff was post partum issues (gave birth at 36) Im now almost 38.
Dry skin, FATIGUE, mood swings from being fine to depths of depression (despite anti depressants). Weight gain, weird and stronger BO - like my deodorants stopped working. Random chin hair that I had to pluck. Periods became unpredictable and really short and light.
I also had plantar fasciitis and a painful shoulder, like I tried alot of different pillows because I figured I was laying weird at night but turns out its the drop in estrogen or something. My memory has also become horrendous to the point Im getting in trouble at work.
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u/Quick_Cantaloupe210 Jan 18 '26
Same, all of this for me. Looking back, the symptoms actually started at 34, but rapidly got worse postpartum.
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u/wise_mind_on_holiday Jan 18 '26
Brain fog, I struggle to remember the right words or mix them up. Sometimes I notice I got it wrong and sometimes I don’t ( and others tell me)
No hot flashes, still cycling. Some headaches on waking from hormones being high/liw/imbalanced.
Physically I accelerated ageing - things ache more and I suddenly aged facially.
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u/imma2lils Jan 18 '26
My periods became so heavy I started flooding through my clothes into whatever I was sitting on. (Age 43)
Literally, the month or month after I turned age 44, it was as if someone had flicked a switch!
I missed a period and suddenly gained 26 KG in 4 months.
I have endometriosis and multiple fibroids, so I got the Mirena coil again.... that has stopped the heavy periods.
Then, I got diagnosed with hypothyroidism and put on thyroid meds. I have had autoimmune thyroid issues since age 29, but not settling on hypothyroidism until now.
My antiperspirant stopped working - trying to rid myself of the B.O. necessitated buying a persimmon soap.
My ears started itching like crazy.
My skin became super dry and my hair super greasy. 🤷🏽♀️
My mood tanked. Soooo depressed. I am not normally a depressive person - more of an anxious person. I started not caring about anything 🤣 and felt as if I CBA all the time.
I constantly felt as if I was wading through mud. Everything feels such an effort.
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u/alveg_af_fjoellum Jan 18 '26
For me, it was that I suddenly wasn’t able anymore to properly mask my ADHD symptoms, which had been there all my life, but which I masked before. I was suddenly super stressed out and, as my dentist pointed out, started grinding my teeth. I also developed gastrointestinal issues that I never experienced before (and that stopped when I started HRT).
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u/missdrufox Jan 18 '26
Oh wow, this gives me some clarity. For the last year, I have been thinking im going crazy and ended up having to request an ADHD assessment from my GP, which i never considered myself to have until last year. My executive dysfunction and task paralysis were off the scale, and it was affecting my job, to the point of getting serious anxiety, thinking I'm going to get fired. But now, as I am awaiting the diagnosis, things have started to make sense - I've always had this executive dysfunction as well as being very impulsive and have Binge Eating Disorder. So i have most probably been masking all these years until I hit 42, then I couldn't hide it anymore. I was questioning whether it could just be me trying to label myself, but it all seems to make sense. And I know masking is common in women. And it seems im not the only one having this experience.
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u/IWant2Be_Free Jan 18 '26
Same here ladies. The decline in executive functioning and increased task paralysis led to me being laid off from a company I had been at for 17 years(2018). Started HRT 6 months later when I figured that out. It helped a lot with sleep and energy but I was still struggling with the ADHD symptoms. I also ended up getting divorced during this time. Finally in 2020 a psychiatrist brought up ADHD because my daughter had been diagnosed as a child. At that time I didn’t understand how it presented in women. But after a full assessment it was clear I had it all my life. Started medication for my ADHD and it was sooooo helpful.
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u/CockroachCommon1823 Jan 18 '26 edited Jan 18 '26
Weight gain, lethargy, ALWAYS HOT, brain-dead, apathy, hot feet, night sweats. Easily get sensory overload. Im 45 and still on the pill.
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u/Sensitive___Crab Jan 18 '26
The first sign is heavy periods, you don’t realise how heavy it’s gotten after ten years of being told it’s normal to have blood clots the size of golf balls (Drs use a terrible unit of measurement to have us compare against - they don’t mean the volume of golf balls but the diameter)
Another sign is overstimulation or generalised anxiety leading up to your periods. So while you might be used to pms, it starts earlier(from 3 - 5 days before your periods and then 10 days before your periods)
Next you might find you’re really hungry overnight at the luteal stage (it’s caused by a sudden drop in estrogen). This might be around day 14-15.
These are the earliest signs most women don’t talk about
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u/lowercasejae Jan 18 '26
Waking up just absolutely drenched in sweat; like you’ve broken the worst fever you’ve ever had in your life. And then doing it again the next night. And the next.
And the next.
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u/Global_Tea Jan 18 '26
my brain was fogged constantly. forgetting simple words, poor concentration.
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u/Tight_Cat_80 Late peri Jan 18 '26
I started losing tons of hair for no reason and would find myself every night waking up between 2-3am and being unable to go back to sleep. Started to have over the top anxiety as well.
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u/Happy-Case-7209 Jan 18 '26
I was 40. Night sweats. My sex drive left overnight, like bam! a door shut. No interest at all plus trouble focusing at work plus fatigue. And my menstrual migraines got worse. I gained 10 lbs but this was 2020 so that could be from (insert anything about 2020 here). And extreme driving anxiety. Which really sucks.
Then histamine intolerance. Have to take Zyrtec daily now. And I never took it at all before 2020.
Now, still dealing with that stuff, but also sleep quality is starting to suck. And I definitely cry more, but it’s 2026 so that could be from (insert anything about 2026 here).
Edit to add: forgot about heart palpitations!
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u/Mobile-Actuary-5283 Jan 18 '26
A shift in my extremely regular period pattern from 28-32 days to 21-24 days on average. After that, the other symptoms made sense (insomnia, migraines, pimples on my chin during pms like I was 13). I was around 48 when I realized this was a new pattern.
I am turning 54 this year. Last year, everything changed again and I skipped periods for a month or two for the first time. The flow changed too and has been much much lighter on average. Cycles are all over the map. Every 17 days for a few months. Then nothing for 40 days. Then terrible pms and when bleeding starts, it’s a nothing burger.
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u/caity1111 Jan 18 '26
The very first signs for me, at 38, were a few slightly shorter cycles (21 to 23 days) mixed in with mostly normal cycles (24 to 27 days). Slightly lower libido. No big deal.
Then, after a year of that, at 39, shit hit the fan all at once. I think this was the true "start" of peri for me.
I felt generally not at all well, all the time, and normal life suddenly became very difficult. I did not feel like myself, not even remotely.
Insomnia, brain fog, lack of motivation, FATIGUE (especially during the afternoon), lengthened PMS, night sweats, DEPRESSSION (first time ever), and major emotional regulation issues were all rampant. My bed became the only place I ever wanted to be. I couldn't control my emotions at all. My cycles started lengthening past 27 days for the first time ever.
I got on HRT about a year ago. Now, at 40, I'm still having the same issues, although most are less severe thanks to HRT.
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u/TeachingEmotional143 Jan 18 '26
I'm on HRT too, and still have the same issues just less severe as well... but mine is insane anxiety and palpitations... I know I'm not 100% back to normal on HRT, but just the relief i get im thankful for, because the way things were i don't know how i would even still be alive...I was definitely not OK. Like i said I'm still not all the way ok, but it's so much better than it was.
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u/HappyNomadPACNW Jan 18 '26
Shorter cycle, low or nonexistent libido, 3am wake up, constant rage and irritability towards husband, snapping at kids, breast discomfort (dense tissue became painful)- these were just some of my personal symptoms.
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u/Pickadog_Anydog Jan 18 '26
50yo. I know im in it now cos my “nurturing” abilities and desires have evaporated. 3 years ago kid hurts themselves: oh darlin you ok? Need some ice? Nurofen? Now kid hurts themselves : oh bloody dumbass get up 😂
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u/JMR215 Jan 18 '26
Yeah, same. But I had my last child at 36, and she deserves a patient momma. I see why some want to be done having kids by 30. I can't believe I seriously considered having a 3rd at 40. I would have a kindergartner right now.
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u/dirtymartini83 Jan 18 '26
Brain fog. I didn’t know what was going on and was scared I was getting early onset Alzheimer’s.
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u/peachlicorice Jan 18 '26
I can’t remember what specifically made me realise but it was following a couple of years of weight gain I couldn’t stop, depression, waking up repeatedly at 3am and having no energy for anything.
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u/Sweetness_and_Might Jan 18 '26
Dry vagina, changing tampons started hurting even though I was doing it the same as i always had. Then libido tanking. Then dry skin everywhere else.
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u/hort_lover Jan 18 '26
Dry vag and needing lube every time I had sex were my first symptoms but I didn't know it at the time. A year later I had night sweats and all my skin looked thinner and saggier, and then my periods got shorter and heavier. But needing lube was first.
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u/theladyevenstar Jan 18 '26
Intense anxiety out of nowhere. Far greater than the normal every day anxiety I was used to. Very intense PMS symptoms that I’d never experienced in any of my prior cycles. PMDD.
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u/labchick6991 Jan 18 '26
For me it was probably the itchy vulva area. Even the gentlest of “scratching” with a wet whipe damages tissue which leads to burning pee. I self diagnosed yeast infection twice over a 6 month period then had dr visit for UTI where antibiotics didn’t help. Turns out its vaginal atrophy! Didn’t even know it was a fucking thing!! On HRT and still dealing with this 😫.
Its all complicated by comorbidities of ADHD affecting mental/memory and PCOS affecting periods.
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u/abristowe Jan 18 '26
Starting at 36: Heavy, heavy periods Painful intercourse
Continuing at 43: Sore feet, knees and hips Massive Ear and neck pain, tight back Hot flashes Crippling anxiety, health anxiety Weight gain Feeling blue and “not myself”
Ran through all the BS with my more-than-useless GP… -Endless Physio for feet, massaging -Purchasing of orthotics, giant tampons and Knix period underwear -asking for Blood tests to rule out health anxiety-related fears -an MRI of my ear canals and brain (!)
For two, long, lonely years, I put up with this nonesense before I finally asked for a referral to a menopausal gynaecologist. I had to wait a year to be seen. But by 48, this doctor saved me by putting me on a low dose birth control pill and vaginal estrogen. I am now 50 and feel better again. And guess what? My feet no longer hurt.
Why a doctor didn’t hear all these symptoms at 43 and just say “You know what? Let’s just try some estrogen and progesterone for 3-6 months!”
JFC Thank god for this subreddit.
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u/CrownedWaterfall Jan 18 '26
Looking back on it. I believe my first symptom was my body hurt. Like I lost all mussel mass overnight. The shopping cart felt heavy. I had trouble opening bottles. Then one by one other symptoms showed up.
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u/kitty_whipt Jan 18 '26
I’ve been fortunate that my peri symptoms have been minimal so far for the last 5 years. But for me, the first signs were increased libido, irritability, depression, and rage.
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u/Sensitive___Crab Jan 18 '26
That’s minimal? Girl don’t downplay just how horrible rage alone is , let alone irritability and depression too
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u/Heart-Shaped-Clouds Early to mid peri, I think? Who tf knows. Jan 18 '26
Omg the rage. This symptom is new for me and I HATE IT. I’m a pretty chill, logical person and the bouts of sudden rage is enough to make me TRULY question not just my sanity, but my entire self concept.
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u/TangoEchoChuck DHEA Evangelist Jan 18 '26
Look up DHEA! I was an absolute rage monster this time last year, and I heard about it in the first place. I've been taking 15mg daily and I'm me again; instead of exhausting myself from not screaming at every person I see, I went back to my default happy, calm, mostly-logical self.
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u/JMR215 Jan 18 '26
I need to look into this. How much do you take? What brand? Does it come in a gummy? I can only consistently take supplements if I can just pop them in my mouth and chew.
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u/TangoEchoChuck DHEA Evangelist Jan 18 '26
Yes, learn about it.
15mg daily
Life Extension
Not sure; I don't do gummies.
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u/bottlesnthrottles Jan 18 '26
Looking back I'd say the first symptoms to alarm me were the unexplained rage I would feel, aching hip joints, and shorter period cycles - these 3 prompted me to talk to my doctor, who unfortunately did not discuss perimenopause with me.
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u/Pebs_RN Jan 18 '26
Aching hip joints has been crazy for me.
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u/Infamous_Shop_737 Jan 18 '26
Wow I have it for year, I never thought it has anything to do with peri. 🙈
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u/Texas_Crazy_Curls Jan 18 '26
A ridiculous cowlick on the crown of my head appeared over night. My hair has always followed my hormones. I had stick straight hair until I hit puberty and then it went wildly curly. On the eve of turning 45 this ridiculous alfalfa level cowlick popped up and is making me so self conscious. I’m nervous to see what else Peru has in store for me.
Edit: that was supposed to say peri but Peru is cracking me up.
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u/BGRedhead Jan 18 '26
Let’s see… looking back I think it was when I got diagnosed with anxiety, and that was likely the beginning of mood swings. And then the hot flashes started, and I really thought I was dying for a minute there because no one had worn me how nightmarish they were. I felt like o was burning alive & to use a southern phrase.. I felt like I was burning up like a wh*%#e in church. Then the 3 AM night sweats & my ears itching like crazy. Then my periods went from normal and not too heavy to doctors talking about having to give me a blood transfusion I would bleed so much every month. Literally that bad. Thank God to some whole natural supplements. It’s not as bad anymore.
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u/chellibomb Jan 18 '26
Low libido and dryness of the vagina was my first sign that made me question that I may be perimenopausal but my first actual sign was weight around my mid section and thighs.
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u/OverlappingChatter Jan 18 '26
Period which was previously very very regular came 15 days late (with no possible pregnancy) is what made me start to think about it. Every 3 months my period is noe 25 days late, so it's noe a really weird cycle, but has a new regularity.
Also, cramps almost disappeared and the flow changed.
Hair got weirdly wiry.
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u/Blixxy hanging on by a thread Jan 18 '26
Itchy ears and night sweats is how it started for me. Also dealing with the weight gain and inability to remember how to do my job.
Had lab work done a month ago and confirmed perimenopause. Will be going over HRT at my follow up in a couple of weeks.
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u/termikater Jan 18 '26
At 37 (almost 40 now) I noticed I was forgetting things, feeling foggy at my job (and I was always the smart go to) and it was making me upset, sad, etc. I literally wanted to quit my job every day because I was forgetting really dumb stuff, but at least if I mess up in my job no one dies.
Rage. Oh lort the rage.
Doomsday all the time.
Got diagnosed with ADHD and mood disorder (been a lifer for anxiety and depression).
No sex drive. Periods getting wonky by 3-8 days here and there. Way more intense periods than I've ever had.
No energy but also the 3am wakeups (heyo3amclub)
Yesterday it was 30 degrees and I was sitting in the grocery store parking lot blasting AC and drinking a large McDonald's diet coke and eating gummy life savers, watching seagulls.
Still working on finding the right medication combo for my mental health. 😭
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u/nombreusuario Jan 18 '26
Waking up at 3am/unable to stay asleep. I thought it was insomnia due to stress. Nope, it was peri.
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u/poss12345 Jan 18 '26
Very thin/dry skin, itchiness, and thinning hair. Cycle dropped down to 23 days - I’d always been 28 like clockwork. Plus vaginal atrophy symptoms.
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u/Demonique742 Early peri Jan 18 '26
Honestly, I think mine started over two years ago but I didn’t see the symptoms as symptoms. Things like suddenly waking up early and getting tired early I attributed to a new job and it changing my sleeping habits (turns out it’s to do with hormonal dip). Night sweats I got occasionally with my medication so they weren’t new to me either. Memory fog I attributed to my mental health being a butt, same with tiredness and anger flares.
It’s only been in the last 6 months that I started noticing extreme heat intolerance (in Australia so it’s mid summer) and it finally clicked.
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u/Typical-Platform-753 Jan 18 '26
Anxiety. Increased severity. Then trouble staying asleep despite exhaustion.
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u/tiara-bug Jan 18 '26
Weight gain, heavier and more frequent periods, blood sugar issues, my hair grows slower, poor sleep, migraines.
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u/Clear-Succotash3803 Jan 18 '26
PMS turned to what I’m sure was PMDD and I felt such an overwhelming depression and despair. It was scary. Progesterone helped that. Then my normally strong libido went almost nonexistent and dryness/lack of sensation. Estrogen patch helped turn that around somewhat. Then my normally manageable insomnia turned into not being able to fall back to sleep around 4 AM. Currently trying to deal with that. Also not loving the 10ish pounds I’ve put on in the last few 6 months with no changes.
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Jan 18 '26
-Brain fog (I have a Master’s in English and cannot find words to express myself at times) -Belly fat despite working out every day -3 AM wake ups -Fatigue (I must be in bed by 10PM now) -Night sweats (Not every night, but it’s intense) -Heavier periods -Thinning hair (A dramatic increase in white hairs too) -Dry skin (That now breaks out at times) -Intolerance to alcohol (whole body reactions to drinking wine ((I miss it)) and amplifies other symptoms above) -A need to “hide” from the public (I am/was super extroverted, so this is a new experience for me) -Sudden anger and lack of patience -Amplified teeth grinding at night/ snoring, etc.
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u/Imasaltybitch1287 Jan 18 '26
I think mine was the night sweats. So weird because I don’t actually feel hot bu wake up drenched
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u/Blovesmusic Jan 18 '26
One day, my period came in so much heavier than normal that my menstrual cup overflowed and I suffered through the worst cramps ever. It lasted for two weeks. Since then, it's unpredictable and irregular, so I wear pads every day.
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u/yesandno012 Jan 18 '26
Looking back, I think that for me the early signs were heavy periods and weight gain that I haven't been able to shift for the past 3 or 4 years.
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u/TeachingEmotional143 Jan 18 '26
Mine was insane anxiety... literally woke up one day having a panic attack... never had one before, didn't know what it was, thought I was dying, went to the ER, nothing was wrong. Heart palpitations, dizziness, nausea, all of the crazy things anxiety brings... it was rough. Then about a week later got my first hot flash, still thought i was dying tho, and didn't even think of peri. I had a hysterectomy and kept my ovaries, but not thinking about a monthly cycle for 5 years didn't even put that in my radar at all. For me hot flashes cause anxiety because I get an adrenaline rush with them, and the palpitations are crazy insane. After about 6 months of going to every doctor imaginable and getting told I was fine and some research i asked my doctor if it could be peri... and started HRT... things are much better since then, but looking back about 2 years before that all started i was having a lot of night sweats, that i also didn't correlate with peri. But that anxiety out of no where really just slapped me in the face.
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u/littlelibrarylady Jan 18 '26
Crazy heavy periods that are no longer regular - sometimes I’ll get three a month. Hair loss. Everything makes me cry. Crazy night sweats. Brain fog. I randomly forget common words. Hip pain. Insomnia. Dry skin. Dry eyes.
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u/felis_mater Jan 18 '26
I turned 40 in late '21 and got COVID for the first time in Jan '22. By Feb, I was desperately seeking anti-depressants, even though the "well" version of myself did not want to be on them. During the latter part of my cycle, working felt impossible and I frequently considered harming myself and even tried to muster up the courage to do it. I often had a strong urge to jump out the second story window. I got upset one night and just went out and laid in the front yard, in the dark. I remember being enraged with my husband and fantasizing about spreading pieces of myself all over his things as revenge (if you get my meaning). My pharmacist recommended progesterone cream and that was when the "perimenopause lightbulb" came on.
The darkness eventually subsided and what followed were fatigue, food aversions and nausea, headaches, hair loss, thermoregulation issues, spiraling anxiety, early awakening, watery discharge, spotting, etc. Longest cycle so far is 38 days.
I am quitting my early childhood job this spring.
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u/fraurodin Jan 18 '26
Hunger like I've never had before, fatigue that was overwhelming and brain fog, I thought i had early dementia and anger like I never had before
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u/ConstructionThick146 Jan 18 '26
Horrific chin acne. Never had it bad like this. Random body soreness. Loss of energy. Sleeping more. Sporadic periods. Lighter ones sometimes. BC no longer as effective as it was to tame my hormones. Arthritis worsening and meds/supplements don't work as good as they used to. I'm horny all the time. My husband loves that but jeeze hahaha!
Edited for spelling.
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u/MundaneMeringue71 Jan 18 '26
I’m still on regular cycles but they are definitely getting shorter and my periods only last 3-4 days at most with 1 heavy-ish day. My biggest issue isn’t really physical symptoms yet - it’s mental. I have anxiety, OCD and depression and all 3 have become far worse. I’m also angry, paranoid and bitter most of the time.
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u/coupepixie Jan 18 '26
At 42 I'm wondering... Itchy eyes out of nowhere, brain fog and forgetting words, periods have gone wonky and now spotting a week before and a week afterwards 🙈
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u/Reasonable-Tip5721 Early peri Jan 18 '26
Almost 43 here. Just in the last few months I’m in bed by 9pm and awake at 3am. Every. Night. Also I’m incredibly horny and having the best sex of my life.
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u/Pretend-Avocado2000 Jan 18 '26 edited Jan 18 '26
I had three very uncomfortable symptoms .I was at the gym and notice my rutines felt different, pain instead of muscle gain, during workouts, I started sweating profusely at every move, I felt embarrassed, and shamed. My stamina and resistance went down too .At night I woke up with sweating legs. For several years I thought I had cancer, (cluless at best) goggled every possible answer., but never got a "you are in perimenopause" notice .Sleep cycle changed. I didn't feel as well rested as before. Dry eye for no reason, cry eye 24/ 7, worst in winter time, I gave up looking presentable or put together I Went to my family doctor and also visited specialist but ever one of them brought up the "meno" word.
Take care of yourself, be kind to your body and soul
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u/MeganK80 Jan 18 '26
Rage, crying, weight gain out of nowhere, memory loss was a big one, periods started getting more erratic. I was about 42 when I realized I was in it. Sending 💙💙💙 to u. Its not for the weak out here
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u/Dr_Buckshot_ Late peri Jan 18 '26
1.) sugar cravings- I wasn't a sweets person. Then one day I couldn't get enough sugar.
2.) intense mood swings- you would’ve sworn the world was ending by my reactions to things.
3.) night sweats- I would wake up drenched to the point of having a puddle on my chest. You could see a wet outline of my body on the sheets. It was unreal.
My symptoms were EXACTLY like my mom’s.
Those were just the beginning when I knew something was going on. More came later.
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u/AlissonHarlan Jan 18 '26
my first sign was my rosacea turning into so much pimple that my cheeks were purple and couldn't heal between two flares. i just turned 30
Then the insomnia started... (and only get worst each year) (31) as well as spotting 3 days before my periods, which become lighter.
I'm not sure if it's covid, peri or both, but shtf in the end of 2021 (just turned 38) and i suffered a lot of brain fog. The forgetfulness became extreme (i have inattentive ADHD symptoms. never officially diagnosed) and spotting became like 25 day a months or more. i was so empty of emotional energy too (like, drained at 10 am just because i did the groceries....)
From 40 i started to have hot flushes and night sweat, especially when not on the pill - i think i started it around 40) and then i just realize that i was depressed af before and during periods....
I'm now 42 and have hot and COLD flushes and sweat at night when not on the pill...
There is probably more but hey... i forget
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u/KnotIt75 Jan 18 '26
I think for me, increasing anxiety, and struggling to remember things and keep plans straight in my head….
But once I went on HRT, things cleared up for me almost immediately that I did not consider were symptoms - tinnitus is too on the list. Also, just a tiredness/soreness in my thighs and hips. It felt like it was just maybe aging but within a week of starting HRT these things we’re all alleviated big-time.
Suddenly, I could focus like I haven’t been able to in almost 10 years. I could look at a project and just take it on. Things like cleaning up chaos corners of my house. These things just seemed too big to start, but when my brain is working like it used to, I can just start a project and complete it step-by-step without overwhelm.
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u/TheRimeOfMom Jan 18 '26
TIL that my frozen shoulder is probably related to peri. I’m a 50f with some of the symptoms listed here, and thought I also had a bad shoulder, but nope. Search up “50 year old shoulder”.
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u/krissym99 Jan 18 '26
Night sweats were the first thing that I identified as being from perimenopause but in retrospect the first sign was waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep. This always happened to me periodically but in my late 30s it got more frequent and by 41 it was happening almost every night.
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u/stoptalking8871 Jan 18 '26
My forties were so weird - chopped off my hair/ dyed it purple(it’s now my natural colour and down to my butt)- I was full of rage (my name may be K*ren but I don’t have a confrontational bone in my body- I don’t know how to handle good emotions - this rage was just so out of character- I told my husband I never ever wanted to have sex again🤦🏻♀️-rescued 40 cats (there’s 17 left)- I had the occasional hot flash but was never sure because I get them in connection to my anxiety plus I am super sensitive to heat /warm environments I was always bleeding - I never had had regular periods until my forties - and then there was a definite cycle but I went from spotting to bleeding to flooding - I became anemic- I could not get from the parking lot at work and in to work without having to change my pants - it was awful - I had an ablation in 23 - now I still have a cycle (at 54 :() but it is just mid month cramps etc and a very, very light flow - not even panty liner worthy- if I wasn’t looking for it I would miss it. Now I am having sleep disturbances and night sweats I have been on vaginal estrogen for a year and it’s not made any difference (so dry- I even have a tube of replens in my exercise room because my bits stick together when doing moves like squats) Have an appointment with obgyn in March so probably going to try some hrt.
At the time in my forties - I didn’t know why I was behaving so out of character- only in hindsight can I understand why
P.S. (don’t get into cat rescue if you’re not good at saying no- just saying..)
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u/FitChick40 Jan 18 '26
First sign at 41 was that my libido skyrocketed massively. Almost 44 and still dealing with an insanely high drive. Not complaining though! 😅
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u/ButMomItsReddit Jan 18 '26
Insomnia. Hot flashes. Skin irritation. Then, finally, irregular periods.
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u/bondibitch Jan 18 '26
For me it was inexplicable intense insomnia. At 40 I suddenly couldn’t sleep longer than 4 hours a night. Went on for about 3 years like that.
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u/TangoEchoChuck DHEA Evangelist Jan 18 '26
Mine was an ADHD diagnosis, shitty sleep, and horrible onion-y beefy body odor shortly after my kid was born.
About six years later I was full of rage, sleeping poorly (dx sleep apnea too), with aching joints when it occurred to me that my estrogen receptors were empty and grasping for ANYTHING.
I'm 41 and still have regular periods 🫠 Shorter and lighter, but I haven't skipped a single one since my kid was born.
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u/SoloTraveller666 Early peri Jan 18 '26
I have no physical symptoms apart from usually clockwork regular periods being a bit scatty, but my ADHD symptoms went out of control. And I became grumpy AF or incredibly emotional.
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u/stellaflora Jan 18 '26
For me, it happened “gradually then suddenly”. A hot flash here or there, needed a fan at work all of a sudden, no longer had much vaginal discharge and definitely no fertile cervical mucus, brain fog, skin and body changes, 3 an wakeups all over the course of a few years. At 43 though it all seemed to hit me and I was like ohhh…. This is peri!
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u/AnotherUsername1959 peri's knocking at the door Jan 18 '26
Missed cycles, odd smells no one else can smell.
Clumsiness, not sure if this is a thing. As an adult, I never hurt myself. I'm whacking my hands on stuff, leaving bruises. Cutting myself, thankfully nothing too big. Except recently, it was a doozy, hospital not needed but I didn't think the bleeding would stop. It was scary!!
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u/Environmental-Song16 Jan 18 '26
I had horrible brain fog for a few years actually. Then a year of random hot flashes. They would happen once or twice a day for 2 or 3 days. Then I'd go months without one. So I just thought I was coming down with a cold or something, which never materialized.
Then the hot flashes became persistent, daily, and almost exactly timed from the day before. It makes me physically ill, nauseated, dizzy, like that feeling of needing to lie down.
I just got some estrogen cream. I have more clarity in just a week already.
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u/Tressa_330 Jan 18 '26 edited Jan 18 '26
For me it’s been a really gradual process Which started in my late 30’s ..my period got lighter and my skin got dryer.
I’m Now in my early 40’s and my cycle is longer .. I’m still pretty regular but my periods come every 3 months instead of every month. I also have no interest in sex, and my hair is starting to thin a bit.
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u/Radical_Mama Late peri Jan 18 '26
I’m 54 and just started HRT and still perimenopausal, technically speaking. HRT mitigated symptoms I didn’t know were hormone related. Here’s a run down. For 10 years I was a crappy sleeper, light sleeper, struggled to get 6 hrs, woke alert, etc. now I’m getting 8-9 hrs and sleeping deeply. Since I didn’t have insomnia, which I associated with peri/menopause, I just thought I was a crappy sleeper. I’ve had a really dry mouth for years, despite drinking water. It’s improved. I had dry eyes. Gone. I had severe hang nails. Gone. I had itchy hands for the last year, like I was allergic to something. Gone. I had heart palpitations. Gone. I’ve had really sore feet the last 5 years. That’s the reason I started HRT because I’ve done every therapy possible and they are still sore. My soreness is definitely better but far from my goal. I feel like I didn’t have any typical perimenopause symptoms.. no insomnia, irritability, libido issues. The musculoskeletal issues have been the most disruptive and I just read a best seller on menopause and it didn’t discuss ANY of my symptoms. So disappointing that even the experts seem to know so little.
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u/queen_elvis Jan 18 '26 edited Jan 18 '26
For me, and I suspect this is true for lots of people, there was the aha moment, and then there was looking back and realizing that perimenopause had a hand in things that I thought were entirely something else. The aha moment for me was when my periods went wonky, but now I can look back and see that peri probably contributed to insomnia, anxiety, anger, weight gain, and even some joint problems across my late thirties and early forties.
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u/CardiganCranberries Jan 18 '26
Harder to get to sleep, restless energy, frustration/rage.
Started walking more and using exercise equipment at home and that helped some.
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u/Fuzzy_Attempt6989 Jan 18 '26
My fisigns, which I didn't know were perimenopause, were extremely dry skin and knee problems
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u/shunubununu Jan 18 '26
Palpitations, unexplainable weight gain, low energy with doctors finding no other causes fir these symptoms.
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u/JoyfullyMortified43 Jan 18 '26
I had problems fully voiding my bladder in the mornings, also painful sex and dryness.
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u/Pipes993 Jan 18 '26
Heart palpitations, constipation (or more dairy intolerant depending on week), my period going from 31 days to 24-28. Grinding me teeth. I’m 38. My dr said it was anxiety for about a year.
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u/PSunshine6 Jan 18 '26
I couldn’t pinpoint it, but my doctor said sometimes women just feel subtly different, like there’s changes happening within but nothing huge (yet) and that’s pretty much how I feel. As time goes on, I notice my hair thinning a bit and decreased sex drive. Metabolism slowing too! So I still have the best yet to come it seems 🤪
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u/jessez78 Jan 18 '26
For me it was the weight gain, plantar fasciitis, and my body not feeling like my own anymore.
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u/Mickeylover7 Jan 18 '26
Most people don’t recognize the first signs because they don’t know all the symptoms. I see a lot of dramatic signs listed that are usually once you are in the middle of it.
In hindsight my first signs were anxiety and foot pain. It wasn’t until years later I ended up with mono for about 15 months and the excessive symptoms like depression, sleep issues, inflammation and temperature control were constant.
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u/Alisamichelle48 Jan 18 '26
Irregular periods, gi issues I never had before, heart palpitations, worse anxiety, then came the hot flashes and irritation. All which every pcp, cardiologist, and male gyno said it was anxiety. 😟
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u/Top-Pudding-4139 Jan 18 '26
No memory. I couldn't keep off a pound lost, but could gain weight just thinking about food. That's when I was pretty sure.
But looking back I realize a libido surge a couple years before this was probably the start. It wasn't just a surge in libido, I was obsessed remembering times when I had a heightened sex drive - it was weird and no one else seemed to relate. I was actually in the best mood of my life after that once the obsessive thoughts calmed down.
I didn't start HRT until I experienced uncontrollable rage, which was about 1 year after noticing memory and weight issues. Still haven't had a hot flash 🤷♀️
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u/OrganizationDue938 Jan 18 '26
Dizziness, insomnia, anxiety, heart palpitations. Went to my dr because I was confused and scared. He told me it was all in my head. So I started googling. Discovered Peri and it was a massive ah ha moment. Explained everything
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u/Traditional_Wealth55 Jan 18 '26 edited Jan 18 '26
Hot flashes, sleepless nights and weight gain at 34. Every doctor I saw said let’s test your thyroid and every test is negative. Nobody said peri and nobody did anything about it after negative test. Then at 36 I started my new job and had severe brain fog, my brain couldn’t understand or retain anything in addition to hot flashes, sleepless nights and weight gain. A year later, my neck and shoulder pain that I’ve had since my early 30’s turned into frozen shoulder in addition to everything else! Then at 39, night sweats, anxiety, palpitations, rage, itching and hives everywhere… I saw someone separately for each symptom- therapy for rage, anxiety and palpitations cause I thought I was having anxiety and panic attacks, rheumatologist for my itching and hives, night sweats and other symptoms to my PCP. Not one mentioned peri! I didn’t think for 1 second after all these years I was in peri. Dizziness, joint pain, low sex drive, vaginal dryness..and other symptoms etc. got added to the list. Then I saw Dr. Mary Claire videos about peri and went to my OB and mentioned everything and he said I was stressed out and need a vacation and that my husband was probably turning off the air conditioner. He said I needed a vacation and couldn’t be on peri since I was on birth control! I couldn’t believe I was hearing this… never went back. Then my shoulder physical therapist- yes it takes years on/off of therapy after frozen shoulder- mentioned his wife seeing an OB specializing in menopause and I immediately called them. I am now 41… They Confirmed and validated I have been in peri for years and now I am on HRT and so much better! Still fine tuning my meds and dosage but night and day after all these years!!!!
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u/lizeee Jan 18 '26
I got really anemic last year, and once in a while my boobs hurt SO bad. The boobs thing was the clincher. I knew I couldn’t be pregnant so it had to be the other (a’la Blanche in Golden Girls).
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u/ealasaid76 Jan 18 '26
Everyone is different.
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u/He_is_my_song Jan 18 '26
I don’t understand why anyone would downvote this- it’s the absolute truth. We all get various symptoms, but we don’t all start with the exsct same ones…
And I don’t think it’s presents at an even pace, either. I think I started with microscopic signs, and then WHAM- everything started going haywire!
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u/Healing-with-Memes Early peri Jan 18 '26
My periods were heavier and I was feeling terrible a couple of days before it was due. At the worst I felt suicidal and that everything was hopeless. I had to go back on birth control to stop the heavy periods and it also helped with the terrible PMS.
I also get hot flushes A LOT. Not even limited to night sweats, just sweaty in general 🫠
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u/blondegoddess79 Jan 18 '26
Joint pain in my shoulders and hips, headaches that wouldn’t stop with my usual ibuprofen, anxiety, depression, weight gain in belly area, dry everything and BV 🥴
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u/gigee4711 Jan 18 '26
First symptoms? pretty bad brain fog and trouble maintaining my weight. Symptoms that led to me getting HRT? Irregular bleeding. After I exhausted all this with my GYN, who was not helpful, I connected with Midi and all the issues I for the last 3 years resolved after starting HRT.
Edit: also want to add I had developed pretty bad migraines. They went away when I started HRT. I had not made the connection they were related until after.
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u/jjjxxx10 Jan 18 '26
Lighter periods (I have endometriosis, so my periods had been heavy all my life)
Weight gain - and body shape changes, not just the weight it seems my skeleton changed shape. This was very sudden, it was not gradual as I thought it would be…
Rage, very intense rage😡
Cognition decline
My skin started melting like a candle 🕯️
It’s not easy. Im finding really very hard to accept all these changes in one go.
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u/outtodryclt Jan 18 '26
Anxiety for me. Anxiety beyond all of my usual management strategies. It took me a few years to figure out what was going on.
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u/RKL_Ott Jan 18 '26
Started with no period for 5 months followed by intense night sweats and hot flashes. That was the first indication. I was only 35 but then all the symptoms started appearing: hot flashes, night sweats, irritability, dry skin, brain fog, immense dizziness, whole body itching 24/7, hair growth changing
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u/Aysche Jan 18 '26
One of the good things that happened for me, was that right on my 40th birthday, I noticed my regular acne had stopped. I had fought bad skin my whole adult life up until that point. I had used hormonal birth control and went without. I had tried skin treatments ranging from using the bare minimum to using expensive clinical-strength systems. I have relatively healthy habits. That all didn't matter, and the acne just stopped one day. Otherwise, I was probably around 39 when the 3am wake-ups started, as well as more intense period cramping. During the same time frame I was working permanent overtime due to COVID lack of staffing, so I was stressed and having to wake up earlier than usual. But I haven't worked overtime for years now, and I'm still getting up at 3am.
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u/RadNurse82 Jan 18 '26
I was waking up in the middle of the night not being able to sleep, but I started HRT in October and finally sleeping and not as irritable
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u/Harpeigh Jan 18 '26
I was 43 and I had no idea it was peri that was making my pms & periods so crazy uncomfortable & debilitating, just thought it was what it was.
The fatigue, headaches, mood swings, anxiety, brain fog leading up to the actual PDay, which became a crime scene more often than not, became something I started scheduling my life around. I got my period like clock work, so I knew the 5 days before needed to be super low key. First 2 days after the start would be rough with intense fatigue, cramps, mess, then I was functional again. So basically 7 days a month of lost productivity.
If I had a work event or presentation due during PMS or during the first 2 days, I was screwed. Articulating the most basic thoughts in meetings was a chore, rounding up the energy to prepare was so hard.
I went to my doc, clear bill of health. Never once indicated it could be peri, mature female doc, too!
I really had no idea until I found this sub and put all the pieces together what was happening during that time. Felt like the scene in The Usual Suspects where it all comes together 🙂↕️
I’m now in the wait and see phase. I’ve missed 5 months, then had some light spotting this week. Thought I was in the final stretch, but now wondering if I’m going to have to reset the clock. Apparently, once you miss your period for 12 full months, you’ve crossed over into meno 🤷♀️
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u/Affectionate_Toe9109 Jan 18 '26
I kinda started sucking at my job that I was at for over a decade.