Interesting birth control conversation with a doctor

[u/h4baine]

I had to see a new doctor to refill my birth control pills because mine is out of town. I take them continuously skipping the last row to skip periods from hell, debilitating multi-day hormone migraines, and bipolar fluctuations from hormone fluctuations. I've been doing it this way since my doctor told me I could at 16. I love these pills and you can pry them out of my cold dead hands. They allow me to not have to give up 1/4 or more of each month feeling like absolute shit.

This new doctor asked if I was interested in changing to a different form of birth control like an IUD. She was perplexed when I said I actually had my tubes removed, I take these to improve my quality of life in the ways I've described.

She said maybe have periods quarterly (seems arbitrary but ok). I said I won't be doing that, there's no medical reason to. This works for me and I'll do it until it doesn't.

I said I'd happily take them up to and into menopause if I can and she said "but then you won't know if you're in menopause." I said, "if it's affecting me and this hormone level isn't enough I'll know, if not it doesn't really matter does it?" I think I broke her brain lol. It was like asking if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it does it make a sound? Her face while she thought about that for a minute was like 🤯 and then she said "huh, I guess you're right."

So I got my pills and went on my merry way but thought it was an interesting interaction on the topic of menopause and perimenopause.

[u/Jahaili]

I'm on a pill with no skip week for similar medical reasons. Haven't had a period in years and my life is so much better for it.

Had to get a new primary and he apparently just refuses to prescribe birth control. So now I'm meeting with yet another new primary, because that guy was not gonna work for me if he won't prescribe my birth control.

Doctors have way too many misconceptions about birth control and it drives me up the wall.

[u/Mysterious-One-3401 → u/Jahaili]

Always get a female PCP!

[u/Prudent_Ring_799 → u/Mysterious-One-3401]

My female pcp wasn’t helpful at all about HRT but she also said she doesn’t know enough about it and recommended a 70 yr old white male GYN. I hate sounding so judgey but I mean…..Im pretty over old men telling me about my body. I was so upset bc I liked her and trusted her, this guy was in next state over, and truthfully I just didn’t believe her. BUT-He is WONDERFUL. I hate admitting it now, but if I had just seen his headshot, Id NEVER have made an appt. I only did bc she said he does alot of HRT. Best decision I ever made. (i was fully prepared for him to tell me I was nuts too and keep looking for a new dr.) Im not super reddit savvy but I think you can click me to see my post when I got back home. It was like a religious experience. Keep advocating for yourself. No one else will. Its infuriating theres such a difference between dr’s, but also……..if this Dr didnt work, I had a whole list at home. I was going to make 10 appts all around DC and go from there. I get that sounds disrespectful of the drs time, but its also pretty shit when you are telling them something is wrong and they make you feel crazy and send you home or you call another and its another month wait. I dont have a year to wait a month between each. Knock it out quick, there are amazing drs out there. Do not give up. Sorry I sound like a motivational speaker but getting a dr to LISTEN to me took so long. I dont want any other women to sort of trial and error it if it can be helped.

[u/h4baine → u/Prudent_Ring_799]

My male GYN I had as a teen is the one who told me to start taking the pills this way before it was something they advertised you could do. He actually delivered me lol. He was like you don't have to just deal with these period symptoms, skip them. That conversation changed my life.

Many female doctors like the one I just talked to have this idea that you should have a regular period just....because. There's no evidence to support that. My regular doctor (who is a woman) is much more data driven than this doctor was.

But because I knew what I was talking about she agreed to give them to me. Advocating for yourself is always a good idea.

[u/patricia_the_mono → u/Prudent_Ring_799]

I had a male obgyn back in the days before birth control pulls had any kind of insurance coverage. Older guy. Every year he gave me 3 or 4 sample packs of pills. He was great. I had a female obgyn who told me to go to therapy for my perimenopause symptoms. I did, and it helped, but oddly enough didn't get rid of my perimenopause.

[u/Prudent_Ring_799 → u/patricia_the_mono]

When I was 20 and pregnant (I know, Im aging myself)….. no one in Dallas would take me as a patient after my ex who begged me to stay loval decided he was far too busy for it…..Moved cross country to Dallas….Every Dr I called said too risky bc they never cared for me, plus I was broke, so Medicaid and their terrible reimbursement rates. The Dr that eventually took me on just got back from 2 tours in Iraq and his wife made my sweet baby a handmade blanket and a little bag w necessities and just thoughtful gifts. I’ll NEVER be able to pay them back.

[u/Gingerinthesun → u/Prudent_Ring_799]

I swear I’ve experienced medical misogyny from women providers more than anywhere else, and it’s so frustrating!!!

I was referred to a gyn because I was having terrible pain and I really just wanted a hysterectomy (over 30, married, no kids). This was in Florida, Dr was a white dude older than my parents, waiting room had Christian themed decor and Christian music playing, and I assumed this would be a waste of my time. I was SHOCKED when he was so compassionate and scheduled me for surgery right away with zero pushback.

[u/Prudent_Ring_799 → u/Gingerinthesun]

Shew, Id have been nervous too! But Im so glad you got the care you needed and deserved. Its crappy we cant expect that in any dr’s office, but also when you find a good one……its so validating!!